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Zombies are only fun in the movies

Updated on August 21, 2014

Hmmm... Zombie apocalypse... good or bad?

Most people love zombies, some actually want them to roam the earth (for reasons I cannot comprehend). I thought, than, that I would do a page about our most beloved monsters. The basic question it tries to answer is: Would it be good if zombies were real? For that purpose, the lens discusses the pros and cons of a zombie apocalypse in some detail. So read on, my dear reader and let me know what you think. Feel free to leave comments and questions.

So you think you can survive a zombie apocalypse?

You are a man, but not just any man, you are a leader of a group of ragtag survivors, a hero. Standing on top of the hill, you look down at the next hurdle, a town that was once beautiful and filled with life, but now has nothing more except streets filled with dead bodies, and others not so dead. Yes, this is the zombie apocalypse and you are the leader, the man, the best zombie slayer in the world. Initially, you started out alone, roaming the wastelands and trying to stay alive. Than you found one person, than another, and another until it became a pack. You are responsible for them and they look up to you to lead them safely through the wilderness. And lately, that cute girl from the group has been eyeing you with a hunger that might rival that of the undead.

Let me ask you a question now; just who, in the whole wide universe, do you think you are?

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the zombie genre, in fact I am an avid lover of movies such as "Dawn of the dead," both the original and the remake, and absolutely love "The walking dead." My problem is with those who hope for, and actually even train for (yep, that's true), a real zombie apocalypse. They seem to be under the impression that their "boring" lives will somehow turn better, and they will become the heroes and the saviors of humanity. Trust me, my fellow humans, you will be in a life so hellish in nature that it'll actually make you long for the good ol' days. And that's assuming you even survive the first onslaught. Wait, you say I am wrong? that I don't know what I am talking about? Well, let's go ahead and discuss this further, shall we?

The good thing is it'll be a new beginning, so no matter who you were (or where you were) before zombies started to chase people around, you have a chance to change all that you didn't like, a chance to rebuild yourself. You were an awkward teenager? Now you are a fearless man. Had a criminal record as long as your arm (why not add your other arm and your legs while you are at it)? Now you are changed man. If nothing else, let your actions speak for themselves.

The bad thing is everyone you knew or loved is dead, either eaten alive (and they were the lucky ones) or turned into vicious monsters that you will be forced to kill eventually. Will you hesitate before you kill the creature that was once your wife, boy friend, or your child? Will you be able to live with the guilt? because, let's face it, not only were you unable to save them, you had to kill them too.

Now that the world has ended, everything you want can be yours as long as you are willing to fight and, most likely, kill for it. The best thing, no one's alive to boss you around or tell you what to do.

But are you willing to kill a family for some food and shelter? If "the walking dead" has taught us anything, it's that we have more to fear from our own kind than the shambling, unthinking, creatures that litter the streets (who, by the way, pose real danger only as a group). Humans are territorial creatures, believe it or not. Once they know they are fighting for their lives, by nature, they become brutal, sadistic animals who'll do anything to survive. Things such as religion and moral values go down the drain. Don't believe me? Look at history and answer this: what have we not done in the name God? And if that's in the best of times, what are we capable of in the worst?

Another pro of the zombie apocalypse is that life would become much more simple and human interference with nature will cease to exist. Earth, than, can be enjoyed the way it was meant to be without all the high rises, the bridges, and the towers.

The con is (for the technology lovers): there will be no technology, period. There will be no internet (maybe I should include this one as a pro), no cars, no electricity, no indoor plumbing and hot water (you serious!!!), no medicine, and no sterilized cooking and cleaning tools. Need to go to the bathroom? Well, there's the jungle but you better keep an eye out for the zombies in case they decide to join you.

Lastly, you have all the time in the world to be with your remaining loved ones, to make peace with them, to raise your children properly (what, you thought you could hook up with that cute girl without any consequences?) and teach them a thing or two in the time you have to live.

Because, sooner or later (I am betting on sooner), the supplies are going to end. What than? You say you have guns, or other weapons, to protect your self and I say, with absolute certainty, that most of you zombie lovers have never held a gun before, much less fired one. When was the last time you went to a range? Did you know that you actually have to clean and maintain these weapons or they'll become useless? You could make some yourself but you'll need supplies and, as we established earlier, they are going to run out.

Still want the zombies to come?

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