ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Help! I'm having Daddy Issues

Updated on December 20, 2014

FacePalm

I’m contemplating fathers today; good fathers, bad fathers. Mostly the latter because they seem to be everywhere all of a sudden. I’m sure there are good fathers in the world, I just haven’t really experienced them personally – no offence to all the fathers I know.

What is this "Good Father" You Speak Of?

Of course one must begin with what defines a good father if one is to know what a bad father is. When one thinks father…good father what does that mean? To me, it means a protective figure, concerned about one’s welfare, responsible, a teacher, an example, someone who provides, both material things as well as spiritual and emotional. He makes you feel safe, protected from the bad things. He makes sure you have somewhere to lay your head, and food to eat and clothes to wear. He tries to give you the best that he can in terms of education, life experience and a good example. He’s the bulwark that lights up the dark. In other words, he’s Will Smith.

The Apples and the Tree

A father is known by his fruits
A father is known by his fruits | Source
the Tree
the Tree | Source

Like for Example...

And then there is everybody else’s dad. Mine behaves like a sixteen year old with out of control hormones. He does provide though, as little as he can manage to. My son’s dad is quite willing to provide as much financial help as he feels he can spare, but emotionally? Spiritually? As absent as if he didn’t even exist. My nephews’ dad sprang a new family on them without so much as a bit of notice. Venturing further into the world, there’s Rihanna’s father who talked to the press about her business and admitted to being an alcoholic being looked after by his daughter. Just for contrast, her mother doesn’t even accept expensive gifts from her. Rihanna had to rope Oprah in so she could get her mother to accept the house she bought her. Her father though gets depressed if he doesn’t get as much as he feels he should. He resents that other people might get more from her than him. Drake’s father passed out in the club the same night Rihanna’s did his interview. Drake has mentioned his resignation with not knowing if his father is with him for the benefits or because he wants to. His father is also an alcoholic who left his mother to bring him up on her own. Beyonce’s father? Well he was present growing up that is true. According to former members of Destiny’s Child, he was quite the dictator. Then he turned out to be fathering spawn all over the place and not paying child support for them. Ironically, some felt that Bey should have stepped in and paid his child support for him…really? Why? In case we think it’s just the black fathers, how about Justin Bieber’s and his role as accessory to the Bieb’s crimes? The life and times of Michael Lohan are well documented in turning his daughter into a messed up alcoholic. What about the continued exploitation of poor Britney Spears by her family led by her father? But the real gold medal winner in father figure disappointment is Bill Cosby; ultimate TV father turned serial rapist…(this is why I have trust issues).

Double Standard

I’ve read many times of fathers being the ones to sell their albino children to witchdoctors in Tanzania. I haven’t yet heard of a mother doing so. What about sexual abuse and the number of times it’s committed by the father? It’s not even news anymore. But if a woman does it to her child…whoa, look out for the lynch mob.

TV Dads

This all started with John Winchester really, and the debate that was sparked by “The ones we left behind” in which Sam and Dean were telling a story about him and saying that although he wasn’t father of the year material, he did a good job. What does ‘a good job’ consist of in this case? Well, it was basically abdicating responsibility to Dean to look after his brother and tearing him a new one every time his poor juvenile ass fell short. *slow clap* absolutely standing ovation type shit don’t you think? But really these are the kind of standards that fathers are held to. As long as you are physically present in some way, then you did a good job. Because so many fathers are not there, are completely absent. Isn’t that just the worst? It’s not just Supernatural suffering from shitty fathers. Pick any show; Vampire Diaries, The Originals, Teen Wolf, Scandal, Arrow, name it. The fathers are either alcoholic, weak, absent or murderous. Sometimes all of the above.

Behold thy Fathers

drunk and disorderly
drunk and disorderly | Source
are you leechin?
are you leechin? | Source
Psychopath?
Psychopath? | Source
Murderous
Murderous | Source

What Now?

Meanwhile mothers have to be providers and nurturers, daddy and mommy and please don’t complain or you’ll be thrown in the bad mother pile immediately. It worries me because I want more from my son. I want him to be epic at everything but especially fatherhood. But I have no examples to point out for him to say, “See this guy? This is how you do it. This is how you are a good man, and a good father.” I’m really going to need someone to step up and raise these standards like…yesterday.

He Started It

Absentee or Good Father?
Absentee or Good Father? | Source

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Interesting hub, yes far too many father's fall short. Pity.

    • profile image

      victoria.namtosI 

      3 years ago

      Sad sad sad

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)