How to Deal With: Psycho or "Crazy" BABY MAMA DRAMA
You are not alone!
She doesn't want you but she doesn't want anyone else to have you either. She uses your children to "get back at you". All of a sudden you have a new girlfriend and she won't let you see your child. She files fraudulent restraining orders against you alleging "abuse".
Sound familiar? Welcome to a new world with what is now being called "Psycho or "Crazy" Baby Mama Drama". You are not alone. Angry ex's and girlfriends that you chose to have children with are now making you wonder if there is any sanity left in this world. As I was doing research for this article and talked to many men, I have found that there is a definite trend in the court system concerning this new "syndrome". Fraudulent restraining orders are being flied at an all-time high as parents fight over "who gets the child". The court systems are getting clogged up with more and more incidents of alleged domestic violence and alleged sexual assaults on children. This is where a good family mediator can step in and sort out the good, the bad and the ugly in these cases.
Do you have a crazy baby mama? That crazy baby mama is going to be part of your life for as long as your child is in your life. You might as well fight the good fight now and try to get at least some semblance of sanity into you and your child's life before it's too late - and Parental Alienation Syndrome sets in.
Psycho Baby Mama Drama?
Signs of a Psycho Baby Mama
Signs of Trouble:
- She is now your ex but as soon as you start to look like you are trying to move on, she alleges "abuse" or files a restraining order against you.
- She uses the children to control you - threatening to take your children away or not let you see your children unless you "try to work it out with her".
- She gets violent. When she is not in control she uses threats, intimidation and anger to get her way.
- She sends you threatening texts or emails.
- She uses the court system to "punish you".
- She makes up stories and always plays the "victim". She is never at fault - you are at fault in her eyes.
- She does not take any responsibility for her actions. Instead she blames you and says this is all your fault.
- She uses the children against you - she deprives you of normal contact.
- She talks bad about you to your children.
- She may have a problem with drugs and/or alcohol.
- She can be very sweet and charming one minute to get her way - then changes into a raging monster when things don't go her way.
- She seems like she has schizophrenia (double-minded)
- She can rage at you and sweet-talk you all in 5 minutes time.
She plays the "victim"
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you may have a psycho baby mama. And when I say "psycho" I mean it in the context that her behavior just does not make any sense to you. That is because her behavior is not normal. It is NOT healthy. It is NOT OK. It is NOT how a truly good parent acts - it is vindictive, mean and abusing behavior - and at the center of it all are your children, who you love dearly. Have you ever considered that maybe you are the one being abused? That she is actually an abuser and that you are a victim?
In a "crazy" baby mama's eyes - she is the "victim". Everyone else is out to get her, and she is running on emotions - not common sense. That is the difference between most men and women - women frequently operate on emotion, and men are usually more analytic and say "just give me the facts". Men that are dealing with a psycho baby mama are going through what I call "crazy-making", which is where no matter what you say or do they still act crazy. That is because in there eyes - you will never do "enough" or "do the right thing" in their eyes. They operate by the abuse of power and control - and their weapons are your children.
Ever heard of the term "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?"
If she was sending you crazy threatening texts last week, why would you expect anything different this week? If she framed you for abuse last year, why would you be surprised if she does it again this year? If she kept your kids away from you last month why would you be surprised when she does the exact same thing this month?
Poll on psycho baby mamas
I came here because:
Abused men - resources
So is she really crazy?
There could be many reasons she acts this way - maybe she's been hurt by you. Maybe she is jealous of the new woman in your life. Maybe she has a mental disorder. Maybe she is drug or alcohol addicted and can't process things correctly. Maybe she grew up in an abusive or dysfunctional home herself. Whatever reason she acts this way - let me make this clear: Her behavior is not OK.
The thing is is that YOU cannot change her behavior - only SHE can. By admitting that she has a problem and getting help. Nothing you say or do for her at this point will probably matter except to keep you in that sick toxic state that I call "crazy-making". And if allowed to continue, she will drag the children into her sick way of handling things.
The best thing you can do for her, yourself and your child is to remove yourself from the situation. And I mean fast.
Before you or her end up in jail - or worse.
And importantly, get a good counselor to talk to. You have many more years to deal with mama. You can't change her but you can change how YOU react. And that will be the best thing you can do to help yourself - and your children.
Best of luck with your family.
(Dorsi Diaz is a freelance writer/publisher who writes on a variety of life topics .This hub is dedicated to TD and all the other men I interviewed for this article )
Are you a psycho baby mama? Take the quiz!
- Are you a psycho baby mama? | Quizazz
Do you know how to keep the peace or are you just a psycho drama queen?
Husband Abuse: Abused Husbands and Men in Abusive Relationships
- Husband Abuse: Abused Husbands and Men in Abusive Relationships
Are you an abused husband? Teenage boys, is your girlfriend abusing you? Does your wife, partner or girlfriend physically, mentally, emotionally or financially abuse you?
More on battered men
- MenWeb-Domestic violence. 835,000 battered men each year, silent too Long...
Battered men: almost 40% of domestic violence victims each year. Help for male victims of domestic violence, men's stories, research findings, articles, gender polarization in domestic violence, international developments, links.