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Ten Fatherly Qualities Which Help Build Solid Father-Child Relationships

Updated on June 26, 2018
MsDora profile image

MsDora, Certified Christian Counselor writes on moral integrity especially for women and promotes the significance of men in their lives.

Good father-child relationships are primarily the responsibility of the fathers. The children learn from them. Here are ten characteristics which are guaranteed to help establish solid ties between them and their children. It helps for the mother to be supportive, and respected as an equal co-parent.

Photo by Vera Kratochvil
Photo by Vera Kratochvil | Source

(1) Be Awe-Struck

Remember the first time you saw your child?

Perhaps you stared with your mouth wide open, or you took a deep breath and whispered, “My Goodness!” You were amazed at your special gift from God, “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).

Continue to be excited when your eyes and your children's meet, when they display their creativity, when they make effort to achieve. Fill your children’s need to be loved and to feel special. You will become their preferred go-to person for affection, even as they get older; and you will establish yourselves as their counselor for affairs of the heart.

(2) Be Available

Your life-as-usual must now include your children. Write them in on your schedule, which means you have to lessen time with someone or something else. Show them that they are an integral part of their lives. Be there to answer their questions, listen to their stories, and explain the difference between wrong and right. You will earn their trust when you show up as promised, and they in turn will feel obligated to keep their promises to you. Your family bond will become a priority for always.

(3) Be Their Example

Demonstrate the kind of character you want your children to become. It is likely that they will do less of what you say, and more of what you do. They will learn from you the habit of morning prayer, evening prayer, grace before meals and what foods are best to eat. They boys learn how to relate to girls, and the girl learns the kind of treatment they should expect from men. If you habitually explain why you do what you do, they will keep coming to you for advice and guidance.

Photo by Alex from Ithaca
Photo by Alex from Ithaca | Source

(4) Be Their Hero

You are your children’s first hero, not because of your achievements or your rank in society, but because you offered them the first male image to look up to. If you perform they best you know how, you may be their superman for life.

To remain high on their list of heroes, steer them and support them on the path toward their God-given purpose. Help them to overcome their challenges with the skills and talents you recognize in them. Encourage their connection to a Supernatural power. When they need human refuge from the storms of life, who do you think they're gonna call?

(5) Be Loving

Don’t only talk about your love; demonstrate it. The God kind of love includes patience, kindness, selflessness, humility, courtesy, forgiveness, fairness and trust. If your dealings with your child are filtered through this mix of virtues, you child will feel loved, and will also learn how to love.

They will never want to feel distant from you, and they will forge the bond of love as much as you do.

(6) Be Responsible

Without training, your children will grow wild; with training they will become disciplined, productive citizen. Teach them good manners, obedience, cooperation and interpersonal skills necessary to get along with others. Teach them both to lead and to follow. Take responsibility for their spiritual as well as his academic training. They will view you as an authority on common sense, and you will become a regular sounding board for them. They will always need you.

(7) Be Consistent

You can judge how important a habit is by how consistently you do it. The values, the habits, the activities that you want to form the basic structure of your children's lives have to be taught repeatedly. Be clear about what is acceptable and what is not; and be consistent with your approval and disapproval. In a world where there is so much uncertainty, where black and white easily turns to gray, your children will love that fact that they can count on you to set clear standards and boundaries.

Photo by USFWS
Photo by USFWS | Source

(8) Be Forgiving

Forgiveness, though a by-product of love, needs special mention because without it the other by-products may not happen. You will not hold it against your children if at two months they soil their diapers as soon as you put them in the car seat. You will not call them names if at nine months they drop their sippy cups on the carpet. You forgive them with the knowledge that they need to be trained, not to be punished.

Some of the mistakes that children make when they grow older simply mean that the parent has more training to do. Create an atmosphere in which your child expects that his faults will receive your forgiveness, followed by your training. Also forgive yourself (i.e. accept God’s forgiveness) when you think you failed in any aspect of parenting. The children will love the atmosphere in which they are allowed to try, mess up, and get help in the restoration process.

Photo by jimmyweee
Photo by jimmyweee | Source

(9) Be Happy

The stresses of life take their toll, and ill-feelings will pay their visits. Teach your children early that happiness is a choice, and that circumstances do not control us. Show them that tired and grumpy are not synonyms; that you can still share a hi-five and a laugh when you're hungry. Let the home be the place where positive attitudes take precedence over the pressures of life. The smile you search for on their infant faces is no more important than the smile you want to see them wear as teenagers or young adults. No matter who sings it, "Don't worry, be happy" always sounds better in a father's voice.

(10) Be Prayerful

My Dear Son, there are more challenges in reality than we can put in print. Your human strength and skill are not enough to maintain the Good Dad profile your child deserves to see. You need Supernatural help.

Live in an attitude of prayer concerning your child. Speak with God in your heart before you make your decisions, before you leave him and while you’re away.

Let God parent you, and rely on the wisdom He teaches you to parent your child effectively. Be prayerful and confident that “He who has begun a good work in you will complete it ” (Philippians 1:6). Children in their right minds want to stay close to a heavenly father who relies on His Heavenly Father.

Which do you consider the most important challenge for a new dad?

See results

© 2013 Dora Weithers

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    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      2 years ago from The Caribbean

      Vellur, thanks for your input. Hope fathers won't forget just because fathers day is gone.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 

      2 years ago from Dubai

      A great hub for things that a new father should do. "Some of the mistakes that children make simply mean that the parent has more training to do" - so important and many times as parents we forget this

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      2 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thank you and Happy Fathers Day, Suraj. You encourage me.

    • suraj punjabi profile image

      suraj punjabi 

      2 years ago from jakarta

      Beautiful hub, I can relate to all your points quite well. I am a father of a 2 year old girl. And I find all that you have written to be so true. I think I am going to bookmark it for future reference. Thank you.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks Violette. Happy that someone could be helped. I appreciate your comment.

    • VioletteRose profile image

      VioletteRose 

      3 years ago from Chicago

      This is really very helpful, especially for new parents. Thanks so much for sharing!

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, Lady E. Hope your Fathers Day celebration is lots of fun!

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 

      3 years ago from London, UK

      I stopped by to read this again. It's Fathers Day in UK this weekend. I am tweeting it and believe it will inspire many Fathers and Fathers to be.

      Have a lovely weekend. :-)

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Well, Word since you already decided that your Fathers Day will be special, I can only wish you many more celebrations of the day. Thanks so much for reading and giving your feedback.

    • word55 profile image

      Word 

      3 years ago from Chicago

      Very, very nice Dora, that 1st son and daughter will always be special. Your hub is right on the money. I shall have another blessed Father's Day this year! Thank you for acknowledging dads so well!

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Samazi, you're very kind. Hope you own writing is doing well. Happy Father's Day (if it applies).

    • profile image

      samazi 

      3 years ago

      Brilliant piece,a must have manual for all aspiring parents,you have nailed it.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Patricia, thank you for your very encouraging comment. Thanks always for the angels; I need them today.

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 

      3 years ago from sunny Florida

      Awesome awesome and awesome....such a well organized and thoughtfully expressed hub...fathers every where should read this.

      Angels are on the way to you. ps

      Voted up++++

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      4 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thank you for reading and commenting. I wrote it specifically for my son who is a new father; and happy that other men find it useful.

    • Hezekiah profile image

      Hezekiah 

      4 years ago from Japan

      Thank you very much for the advice.

    • profile image

      Photographer 

      5 years ago

      Thanks!

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Done! I apologize.

    • profile image

      Photographer 

      5 years ago

      Dear MS Dora, I am the photographer and creator of the first image on your blog post on this site, this is a copyrighted image that you are using without a permission; furthermore the baby and daddy represented in this picture have not authorized this kind of use so you also do not have the permission to use it from the people in the photo as well. Please remove it.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Lady E, you have some very good ideas. I appreciate your input.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 

      5 years ago from London, UK

      Absolutely beautiful to read and many will find good advice from this. I will tweet it. For me the most important is prayer because through it, God will reveal how a father should do certain things (wisdom) and sometimes even reveal things that his son might be going through. (parents can't be around their kids 24/7)

      I love this.

    • SAM ELDER profile image

      SAM ELDER 

      5 years ago from Home

      Great hub :)

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Arun, that's a meaningful way of saying it. Thanks for your input.

    • ARUN KANTI profile image

      ARUN KANTI CHATTERJEE 

      5 years ago from KOLKATA

      Thanks for the helpful tips for the new father- a phase that combines happiness with lot of responsibility.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Please do, Weestro. Thanks for the compliment.

    • weestro profile image

      Pete Fanning 

      5 years ago from Virginia

      Love this Ms Dora, and I will strive to follow. Do you mind if I post a link to this on my blog?

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Sunken, thanks for your participation. This is good additional counsel for the new dad.

    • sunkentreasure profile image

      BERNARD LEVINE 

      5 years ago from RUIMSIG, SOUTH AFRICA

      PRECIOUS CHILDREN By BERNARD LEVINE

      Bless your children with the power of prayer

      Celebrate their uniqueness

      Feed them encouragement and inspiration

      and let them feel they are greatly loved.

      Teach your children the beauty of kindness

      Enrich them with the wonders of nature

      Fill their hearts with joyful melody

      and always be their friend.

      Clothe your children in goodness

      Make their world full of nice surprises

      Help them to follow their dreams

      and thank God they came into your life.

      © Bernard Levine

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Insightful, thanks for your encouraging comment. I appreciate you.

    • Insightful Tiger profile image

      Insightful Tiger 

      5 years ago

      MsDora, you have put up a great hub with very good advice for fathers. If every father and mother followed this advice we'd all be a lot better for it! Thanks for sharing sister!

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Kasman, so glad to meet someone like you here on HubPages! That's a wonderful tribute to your grandfather. You've got the right attitude toward parenting and I pray for your success.

    • Kasman profile image

      Kas 

      5 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Ms Dora, I'm hoping I can hit on all cylinders when I have my first sometime! I especially love the part where you talk about building character in them. I remember my grandfather bowing his head in silent grace before meals to The Lord growing up and it affected me. Helped me get to Jesus years later in life after living as a reprobate for a long time. Great hub! Voting this up!

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Yea, DDE. We think alike concerning the challenges for the new dad. Availability and the memories of the time they spend together are priceless.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      A great dad is the one who spends time with his child and who won't forget the first time experiences you have chose n an interesting hub title voted up!

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, alocsin. You're the good friend--to the new dad and to me. I appreciate you.

    • alocsin profile image

      alocsin 

      5 years ago from Orange County, CA

      A good friend of mine has just become a new dad. I'll give him this hub because he needs all the help he can get. Voting this Up and Useful.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Rajan, glad to bring you a pleasant memory. Thanks for your support.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 

      5 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Beautiful and useful write Ms Dora. Thanks. Voted up.

      that 1st picture reminds me of how I held him when he was born.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Khmazz, happy that you like this article so much. It is written from my heart to my son who has recently become a new father. I really want him to do a good job of parenting.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Ignugent, thanks for commenting and sharing with your friends. I'm happy that you find my article helpful.

    • profile image

      ignugent17 

      5 years ago

      This is very helpful. I would surely share this hub with my friends. :-)

    • khmazz profile image

      Kristen Mazzola 

      5 years ago from South Florida

      I have to say that this might be one of my favorite hubs I have ever read! All of it is so true! Thank you for writing and sharing something so heartfelt and true! LOVED IT!!

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks Dr. Middlebrook for your very kind and encouraging comments. An instruction manual sounds good to me.

    • drmiddlebrook profile image

      Sallie B Middlebrook PhD 

      5 years ago from Texas, USA

      Great Hub, MsDora. If only all fathers, young and older, could see and read this. Mothers-to-be need to give these as a sort of "instruction manual" to fathers-to-be. What a great job you did in conceptualizing and executing this. Well written, beautifully phrased, well presented. Voted useful, awesome, and beautiful.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Rayne, glad you were led to the hub, and also glad for you kind comment.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Frank, thanks for your comment. We think alike on this one.

    • profile image

      Rayne123 

      5 years ago

      Great hub, funny I was led to this hub

      It sure makes a lot of sense that any dad/mother should know and teach

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      5 years ago from Shelton

      MsDora this is such a great idea for a hub and they are all of equal importance and of equal value voted awesome and useful!!!!

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thank you, Eiddwen, for your vote and your kind comment. I appreciate you.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 

      5 years ago from Wales

      Interesting and useful.

      Voted up.

      Eddy.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, Vicki. I have the same hope-first for my son, but also for all the young men who are serious about effective parenting.

    • profile image

      Vickiw 

      5 years ago

      MsDora, this is a delightful Hub, and I hope lots of Daddies read it and are inspired to be the best they can be!

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Samazi, that's an important challenge, given the busy schedules that daddies have. Thanks for affirming how precious a gift the baby is.

    • samazi profile image

      Masimba Mukichi 

      5 years ago from United Kingdom

      Brilliant write, thanks for sharing. Indeed a daddy should be available for the precious gift - the baby.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Billy, glad to make you smile--or grin. Being awestruck may not readily come to mind, but children love to see it.

    • MsDora profile imageAUTHOR

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks, Eric. Hope my son thinks so.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You had me grinning on number one...be awestruck! No kidding! That little child is a miracle and a father should be in awe. Great list of suggestions, MsDora!

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Great Hub.

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