Parenting | Top 12 Do's and Dont's
- How to deal with children ?
- Should we allow our children to do whatever they like?
- Should we fulfill their demand even if we think that it should not be given?
- How to deal with the problem child ?
- These are only a few questions among the thousands which parents generally ask.
I will try to see the entire things from a different angle.
What do you feel when you hear this small word? A little angel with two bright eyes, two small hands and a lovely smiling face eager to climb on your lap! Can anybody in this world be rude to a child? Then why should we ask above questions? What makes those innocent angels to become a problem child? Aren’t we responsible for that? Don’t we feel that something has gone wrong on our part in bringing them up?
Here are some points which each parent should think of while bringing up their children.
- Don’t consider the child as the byproduct !
We should think that we are blessed with a child by God. Because God thinks that we are the proper parent who can bring up this child. We shouldn’t think that we have created the child. Nobody can create a life! It is God who gives us the responsibility to look after a child if he thinks us eligible for that.
2. Children are very intelligent and very sensitive.
Don’t underestimate your child no matter how small it is. Children have the God gifted power to recognize the attitude of the person who touches them. They can recognize their mother even after a few hours of their birth! (Applicable if mother looks after the baby on her own).
3. Up to two years of age
You don’t have to bother so much except taking physical care during this period. I understand that except a few exceptions, all parents love their children. You don’t have to say that you love them! But it will automatically be transformed to your child, again through the God gifted sense mechanism of your child.
4. Two to five years
During this period parents have to very careful in so many things. This time their physical activities are increased and if you are not careful they may get physical injuries. This is the time when they see everything for the first time! They will have an endless series of questions! Be very careful. Don’t ignore them; try to explain each and everything with patience. Remember they are very sensitive and they will store your image in their permanent memory if you behave otherwise! If you have shortage of time, try to convince them and remember the topic so that you can come to it as soon as you have the time.
5. Don’t tell a lie to your child
It will be a destructing activity for the future of your child if you tell a lie to them. Sometimes we tell a lie even for fun! Please don’t do that.
6. Don’t promise anything which you can’t fulfill
Don’t promise anything to your child unless you are sure to fulfill it. Sometimes we promise something to motivate our children to do something although we don’t have an intention to fulfill it. This may damage your image permanently to your children. Also it will trigger a wrong signal to the value system of the child.
7. Don’t impose your desire on your children
Sometimes we try to impose our unfulfilled desire on our children not understanding their ability or interest. We should first check the aptitude of the child before imposing the target.
8. Give time to your lovely children
Spare as much time as possible for your dear ones. They love to talk to you, share their joy and sorrow with you. You are the best person in the world to them and they like to know everything from you only.
9. Don’t fight in front of your children
Some parents don’t bother to see whether their children are nearby or not when they fight with each other. This certainly scared them a lot. They try to compare your image which are stored in their memory with the present one and become more confused. This can create unpredictable effect to their mental health.
10. Don’t punish your child jointly
Some parent wants that when one punishes the child other should also accompany. This is a totally wrong concept. If you do so, instead of admitting their fault, your child will try to gather points in support of their activity. This is the primary cause why children become problematic. They feel that they are helpless are their parents don’t love them.
11. What should be done then?
In the above situation other parent should not take part in punishment and when the punishment is over he/she should explain the cause of punishment. It should be made clear to the child that the intention of the punishment is not to hurt him but to help him rectify the cause. It may also be explained that it is not a fun for the parents to punish them; rather they (parents) suffer more pain than them.
12. The last but not the least
If you keep the above points in mind I am sure that a very strong value system will be implanted into the child and that will act as a firewall which will keep them away from all the forbidden activities for their entire life.
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I like to thank easyspeak from whose question I got the inspiration of writing a hub on parenting. Thanks easyspeak.