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13 Things Every Mommy Should Tell Her Daughter
Mommy Daughter Bond
For the majority of daughters, we have a strong bond with our moms. It may not have been the specific things she said or did, but the things she taught you and showed you. A mother is strong, confident, smiles when tears are expected, takes the pain away when it's almost too much to bear and loves her children regardless of faults or flaws.
Each mother shares her own personal experience and teachings with her child. Religion, political views, education expectations and more. They teach fashion sense, makeup tips and how to or how not to talk to boys. These are all important, personal conversations that moms have with their daughters. However, the simple things like reminding your daughter how much you love her and how important she is, is also vital.
These are some basis things to remember and tell your daughter as you watch your princess grow into a queen.
Lessons for Every Daughter
You don't need a man, but you deserves a good one. She can be successful, happy and satisfied with life without the company of a man. This is fact. But don't make her scared of men. Instead, tell her about the man she deserves. A man who respects her, her wishes and lifestyle, her dreams and ambitions and her family and friends. Tell her to find a man who encourages and supports her. Tell her to take her time. Don't settle for a man who isn't up to her standards. It is alright to wait and wait alone.
Basketball sneakers or pumps, you are beautiful. Sure this is cliche, but it needs to be strongly reinforced in her head that she can stand out from the crowd and still be beautiful and confident. She should feel just as beautiful in sweat pants and no makeup as she does in a prom dress and a salon updo. Remind her frequently. When she's a teenager and she wakes up in the morning with messy hair and acne, tell her she looks stunning. This lets her know that it's okay to be herself and feel comfortable in her own skin. We have far to many beautiful young women walking around with gobs of makeup thinking it's the only way to impress people or be 'pretty'.
Don't be afraid of upsetting me. Remind her that you brought her into this world not to discipline and scorn her, but to help her succeed and be her own person. She needs to know that she can come to you with difficult problems and expect a logical and supportive response. Of course, some things are worthy of punishment, but don't make her fear you. You don't want that, and she doesn't want that either. She wants you to be different from everyone else. Don't be the judge or the critic. Just be the audience until she gets whatever it is off her chest.
Get out and take risks. As mothers we want to protect our daughters from everything. We want to take away the risks and make sure she is safe. But it's important, no matter how difficult it is for you, to tell her to take risks. Tell her to go find her happiness regardless of where or what it is. You may be shrieking on the inside, but if you always tell her to be safe and always convince her to take the safest route, she may never follow her dreams for the fear of scaring you.
"A Daughter is just a Little Girl who Grows Up to be Your Best Friend"
Have fun, no matter what. Sometimes mothers accidentally get caught up in grades, status, etc. It happens and in turn our daughters think we expect them to be nothing but proper and well educated. Remind her to have fun, to laugh and to make stupid choices. If you don't tell her now, she may grow up and take a job that she hates. If you can teach her to have fun, she will know that no matter the circumstances there is always room for laughter and a good time. Next time you see her struggling with test prep, give her something to laugh at and take her mind off of it for a moment. It's a small action with a lot of positive results.
Make Your Own Money Before Marriage. Teach her about the meaning of independence, it could save her from future heartbreak and from losing her identity. She deserves to know what it means to feel powerful and in control. She should know what a good work ethic means and how important it is for her and her future significant other. She may wind up not needing or having a job after marriage, but it protects her from possible crises and gives her an option.
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"A Daughter is One of the Best Gifts this World has to Give"
Find the beauty in everyone and everything. Teach her to be different from the rest. Tell her to be patient and kind and to never judge before you know the full story. This is a dwindling quality in the younger generations, but it is still highly sought after. Don't let her hate anything or anyone. Give her reason not to. It is the key to inner peace, and that is what we all want for our daughters.
I am sorry. This is the most important one of all. We teach them to say it. We need to say it as frequently as necessary. No matter how embarrassed you are, or how stupid you feel for doing whatever you did, if it was something you would have expected an apology for, give one to her. This is more than just a lesson for you. It will show her the importance of humble and teach her forgiveness. Don't let her think she is the only one who makes mistakes.
Let's watch a movie. Sometimes all she needs is a good friend to watch an emotional movie with. Let her cry, laugh or talk through the whole thing. Let her pick the movie. Show her that it is okay to just relax and not overthink every situation. A movie isn't going to solve it, but we all have a movie that helps us feel better, and if she watches it with you, you will forever be apart of her recovery and happiness.
Don't go to college if you don't know what you want to do. Parents occasionally, especially during their teenager's high school years, push college really hard. Where are you going to go? What are you going to study? It's overwhelming for everyone. Instead, tell her that it's ok to wait. Don't take out loans on something you may never use or will never like. Let her know you will be proud of her even if she takes a job straight out of high school for minimum pay. This will guide her towards really figuring out what she wants to do and not rush something that isn't there yet.
Dress up for you. Teach her to dress up in a cute dress, heels and makeup. But, teach her to do it for herself. Not some boy or a few girls she wants to be friends with. It's rewarding to feel beautiful and to look in the mirror and only see yourself. She shouldn't look in the mirror and see a boy next to her. Just her and her honest smile because she knows without anyone complimenting her that she is pretty.
If you feel like being weird, do it an do it well. Never, ever encourage her to hide her personality. Tell her that it's okay and a blessing to be weird. Most people are average, they blend in at best. People may not understand her, and you may be scared of what other people will think, but let her make that decision on her own. Let her be weird in front of others, she may be the next thing to hit the big screens because of it.
Never degrade another woman, instead support all women because we are in this together. Tell your daughter how important it is for us women to bond together. We have our equality but it doesn't hurt to be supportive. Tell her to not call other girls mean hateful names because it only gives the guys more of a reason to do it. Remind her to be friendly toward other women and encourage them to live out their dream no matter what it is. There is enough judgement and hate in the world without women hating each other.
Other Things to Tell Her
- I LOVE YOU (tell her every single day)
- Take care of your clothes and your shoes
- Be kind to children who are younger than you
- Study hard and play hard too
- I love your smile/laugh
How I Know These Things
My daughter is still young. I haven't had the chance to tell her all of these things, but I will. So, how do I know what I want to say and why I want to say it? Aside from the fact that I have thought about it repeatedly, I know these things because I have a mother that told me these things. She reminded me of them sometimes daily. She was persistent, but she cared and she taught me how to be a strong woman and a good mom. Before having a daughter of my own, I didn't think much of these things. But now, I am grateful for every lesson and every hardship I went through with my mom. We have a tight bond, like no other. I only wish that for every other mother and daughter in the world.