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13 Things Every Mommy Should Tell Her Daughter

Updated on May 22, 2014
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Mommy Daughter Bond

For the majority of daughters, we have a strong bond with our moms. It may not have been the specific things she said or did, but the things she taught you and showed you. A mother is strong, confident, smiles when tears are expected, takes the pain away when it's almost too much to bear and loves her children regardless of faults or flaws.

Each mother shares her own personal experience and teachings with her child. Religion, political views, education expectations and more. They teach fashion sense, makeup tips and how to or how not to talk to boys. These are all important, personal conversations that moms have with their daughters. However, the simple things like reminding your daughter how much you love her and how important she is, is also vital.

These are some basis things to remember and tell your daughter as you watch your princess grow into a queen.

Lessons for Every Daughter

You don't need a man, but you deserves a good one. She can be successful, happy and satisfied with life without the company of a man. This is fact. But don't make her scared of men. Instead, tell her about the man she deserves. A man who respects her, her wishes and lifestyle, her dreams and ambitions and her family and friends. Tell her to find a man who encourages and supports her. Tell her to take her time. Don't settle for a man who isn't up to her standards. It is alright to wait and wait alone.

Basketball sneakers or pumps, you are beautiful. Sure this is cliche, but it needs to be strongly reinforced in her head that she can stand out from the crowd and still be beautiful and confident. She should feel just as beautiful in sweat pants and no makeup as she does in a prom dress and a salon updo. Remind her frequently. When she's a teenager and she wakes up in the morning with messy hair and acne, tell her she looks stunning. This lets her know that it's okay to be herself and feel comfortable in her own skin. We have far to many beautiful young women walking around with gobs of makeup thinking it's the only way to impress people or be 'pretty'.

Don't be afraid of upsetting me. Remind her that you brought her into this world not to discipline and scorn her, but to help her succeed and be her own person. She needs to know that she can come to you with difficult problems and expect a logical and supportive response. Of course, some things are worthy of punishment, but don't make her fear you. You don't want that, and she doesn't want that either. She wants you to be different from everyone else. Don't be the judge or the critic. Just be the audience until she gets whatever it is off her chest.

Get out and take risks. As mothers we want to protect our daughters from everything. We want to take away the risks and make sure she is safe. But it's important, no matter how difficult it is for you, to tell her to take risks. Tell her to go find her happiness regardless of where or what it is. You may be shrieking on the inside, but if you always tell her to be safe and always convince her to take the safest route, she may never follow her dreams for the fear of scaring you.

My World. My Hope. My Best Friend. My Daughter.
My World. My Hope. My Best Friend. My Daughter. | Source

"A Daughter is just a Little Girl who Grows Up to be Your Best Friend"

-Unknown

Have fun, no matter what. Sometimes mothers accidentally get caught up in grades, status, etc. It happens and in turn our daughters think we expect them to be nothing but proper and well educated. Remind her to have fun, to laugh and to make stupid choices. If you don't tell her now, she may grow up and take a job that she hates. If you can teach her to have fun, she will know that no matter the circumstances there is always room for laughter and a good time. Next time you see her struggling with test prep, give her something to laugh at and take her mind off of it for a moment. It's a small action with a lot of positive results.

Make Your Own Money Before Marriage. Teach her about the meaning of independence, it could save her from future heartbreak and from losing her identity. She deserves to know what it means to feel powerful and in control. She should know what a good work ethic means and how important it is for her and her future significant other. She may wind up not needing or having a job after marriage, but it protects her from possible crises and gives her an option.


Mother Daughter Bond
Mother Daughter Bond | Source

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"A Daughter is One of the Best Gifts this World has to Give"

-Laurel Atherton

Find the beauty in everyone and everything. Teach her to be different from the rest. Tell her to be patient and kind and to never judge before you know the full story. This is a dwindling quality in the younger generations, but it is still highly sought after. Don't let her hate anything or anyone. Give her reason not to. It is the key to inner peace, and that is what we all want for our daughters.

I am sorry. This is the most important one of all. We teach them to say it. We need to say it as frequently as necessary. No matter how embarrassed you are, or how stupid you feel for doing whatever you did, if it was something you would have expected an apology for, give one to her. This is more than just a lesson for you. It will show her the importance of humble and teach her forgiveness. Don't let her think she is the only one who makes mistakes.

Let's watch a movie. Sometimes all she needs is a good friend to watch an emotional movie with. Let her cry, laugh or talk through the whole thing. Let her pick the movie. Show her that it is okay to just relax and not overthink every situation. A movie isn't going to solve it, but we all have a movie that helps us feel better, and if she watches it with you, you will forever be apart of her recovery and happiness.

Don't go to college if you don't know what you want to do. Parents occasionally, especially during their teenager's high school years, push college really hard. Where are you going to go? What are you going to study? It's overwhelming for everyone. Instead, tell her that it's ok to wait. Don't take out loans on something you may never use or will never like. Let her know you will be proud of her even if she takes a job straight out of high school for minimum pay. This will guide her towards really figuring out what she wants to do and not rush something that isn't there yet.

Dress up for you. Teach her to dress up in a cute dress, heels and makeup. But, teach her to do it for herself. Not some boy or a few girls she wants to be friends with. It's rewarding to feel beautiful and to look in the mirror and only see yourself. She shouldn't look in the mirror and see a boy next to her. Just her and her honest smile because she knows without anyone complimenting her that she is pretty.

If you feel like being weird, do it an do it well. Never, ever encourage her to hide her personality. Tell her that it's okay and a blessing to be weird. Most people are average, they blend in at best. People may not understand her, and you may be scared of what other people will think, but let her make that decision on her own. Let her be weird in front of others, she may be the next thing to hit the big screens because of it.

Never degrade another woman, instead support all women because we are in this together. Tell your daughter how important it is for us women to bond together. We have our equality but it doesn't hurt to be supportive. Tell her to not call other girls mean hateful names because it only gives the guys more of a reason to do it. Remind her to be friendly toward other women and encourage them to live out their dream no matter what it is. There is enough judgement and hate in the world without women hating each other.

Daughters hold our hand for a short time only, but they hold our hearts for forever
Daughters hold our hand for a short time only, but they hold our hearts for forever | Source

Other Things to Tell Her

  • I LOVE YOU (tell her every single day)
  • Take care of your clothes and your shoes
  • Be kind to children who are younger than you
  • Study hard and play hard too
  • I love your smile/laugh

How I Know These Things

My daughter is still young. I haven't had the chance to tell her all of these things, but I will. So, how do I know what I want to say and why I want to say it? Aside from the fact that I have thought about it repeatedly, I know these things because I have a mother that told me these things. She reminded me of them sometimes daily. She was persistent, but she cared and she taught me how to be a strong woman and a good mom. Before having a daughter of my own, I didn't think much of these things. But now, I am grateful for every lesson and every hardship I went through with my mom. We have a tight bond, like no other. I only wish that for every other mother and daughter in the world.

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    • Christy Kirwan profile image

      Christy Kirwan 2 years ago from San Francisco

      WOW. What an incredibly powerful, beautiful, and utterly relevant list. I agree with every single one of your points.

    • lilmissmontana profile image
      Author

      Erin Nichols 2 years ago from Montana

      Thank you so much!

    • swilliams profile image

      Emunah La Paz 2 years ago from Arizona

      This is a very thought provoking article! Your daughter is very lucky to have you as her mother! Beautiful pics as well! Voted up!

    • traceydempsey profile image

      Tracey Dempsey 2 years ago from Fitzgerald

      Very well written! It almost makes me want to wake my daughters up just to tell them I love them... :)

    • stuff4kids profile image

      Amanda Littlejohn 2 years ago

      13 yesses to that!

      Bless you. :)

    • Chitrangada profile image

      Chitrangada Mukherjee 2 years ago from Chennai, India

      Beautiful hub! It made me kiss and hug my daughter. And made me more aware of the role of a mother as a mentor and friend. Voted up.

    • Thelma Alberts profile image

      Thelma Alberts 2 years ago from Germany

      Congratulations on the HOTD award! These are good tips for daughters and mothers relationship. Definitely yes to all 13. Thanks for sharing. Have a nice day!

    • lilmissmontana profile image
      Author

      Erin Nichols 2 years ago from Montana

      Thank you all for your kind words; it brings a tear to my eye. It's truly an honor to be a mother!

    • BNadyn profile image

      Bernadyn 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida

      I love all your tips and enjoyed reading especially since I have a young daughter, too. Congrats on HOTD and I'll be pinning this. :)

    • lilmissmontana profile image
      Author

      Erin Nichols 2 years ago from Montana

      Thank you! If you don't mind me asking, how old is your daughter BNadyn? My daughter will be 18 montha in just a few days. Boy, time flies!

    • Relationshipc profile image

      Kari 2 years ago from Alberta, Canada

      All good things to tell your daughter. I think too, though, that you have to lead by example.

      My sister-in-law bought my daughter a shirt that says, "Girls can become anything they want to become!" It is such a positive message, but the victim-like message that my sister-in-law sends her daughters likely outweighs a positive message that she tells them. She is being abused; she is miserable; she hates her body; she is afraid to be herself; etc.

    • lilmissmontana profile image
      Author

      Erin Nichols 2 years ago from Montana

      I'm terribly sorry to hear about your sister in law. That is no good for anyone, and especially a mother. And I fully agree with you that it must be a priority to set a good example for our children. I have made a lot of changes in my life so that I can be a good role model for my daughter. I quit smoking and decided to lead a healthier, more active lifestyle. My hope to encourage her and prove to her that we as women can be strong, do what we want with our lives and be happy. The verbal portion is important, but showing them is equally as important and necessary for healthy growth. Thank you for your comment and I hope things with your sister in law get better! Prayers for you and her.

    • DzyMsLizzy profile image

      Liz Elias 2 years ago from Oakley, CA

      Congrats on HOTD!

      So very well said and important.

      Voted up +++

    • Aneegma profile image

      Merida Craze 2 years ago

      What a lovely hub to end my evening. Nicely done. Congrats on HOTD.

    • lilmissmontana profile image
      Author

      Erin Nichols 2 years ago from Montana

      Thank you both so much! I was very suprised and very delighted! Of all my Hubs, I'm very happy that this one which hits close to home and has some true feelings and emotion was selected!

    • MPG Narratives profile image

      Marie Giunta 2 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      "You don't need a man" is the first thing I taught my daughter. She said, but you have Dad? Now as a teenager she understands what I meant. You can still be yourself even if you are in a committed relationship. If you are not then you are not in the right relationship. Understanding, love and showing by example go a long way. Congrats on HOD, well deserved.

    • profile image

      ReenGordon 2 years ago

      Now I need a tissue!

    • lilmissmontana profile image
      Author

      Erin Nichols 2 years ago from Montana

      MPGNarratives, what an excellent lesson. It's so important to be who we are no matter who we surround ourself with. I plan to teach my daughter the same, and although I also have a man in my life, he complements who I am, he doesn't change me or expect me to be anyone else. I want her to know her worth. Thank you for the kind words.

    • lilmissmontana profile image
      Author

      Erin Nichols 2 years ago from Montana

      ReenGordon, that means a lot to me. Thank you for reading my Hub!

    • Crissylite profile image

      Crissylite 2 years ago

      Lovely article!!

    • lilmissmontana profile image
      Author

      Erin Nichols 2 years ago from Montana

      Thank you Crissylite!

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 2 years ago from North Carolina

      What a lovely, lovely hub, and well deserving of being chosen the Hub of the Day. God Bless.

    • lilmissmontana profile image
      Author

      Erin Nichols 2 years ago from Montana

      Thank you Denise! God Bless you and yours also.

    • BipashaNS profile image

      Bipasha Nandy Sircar 2 years ago from Puerto Rico

      Beautiful hub! loved reading it throughout. Loved all your tips...

    • jlpark profile image

      Jacqui 2 years ago from New Zealand

      I enjoyed this hub - my daughter is only 12wks old, but I will use these tips a lot.

    • lilmissmontana profile image
      Author

      Erin Nichols 2 years ago from Montana

      Thank you both for your kind words.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Oh, what a beautiful hub and wonderful truths to tell daughters. Your daughter is precious and she is blessed to have you as her mother. Thank you for sharing and congrats on the well-deserved HOTD!

      Up ++++ and away

      God bless you. In His Love, Faith Reaper

    • lilmissmontana profile image
      Author

      Erin Nichols 2 years ago from Montana

      Thank you kindly Faith Reaper! That makes me want to tear up. I am the lucky one! That little girl hasturned my life around and brought out the best in me. God Bless you and have a wonderful day!

    • BNadyn profile image

      Bernadyn 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida

      Oh, no I don't mind- my daughter is two and yes, time sure does fly!

    • lilmissmontana profile image
      Author

      Erin Nichols 2 years ago from Montana

      BNadyn, thanks for sharing! I love this age, it's so fun. My daughter is developing her personality and she is learning so fast. I wish I could pause time!

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