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5 Tips to handling ugly people, (no reference to looks)...
Don't you hate having to deal with nasty, self indulgent folks! You know those people who have to be the center of attention. The ones that have to have the last say! The ones that are negative. Those individuals known for accusing others, especially when they know they have no right to be talking about anybody. Yet you couldn't stop them from being negative because they miss all of the cues.
The golden rule always and will forever remain the same - that we are to treat others as we would want to be treated. It is one of those concepts that resonates in every culture, typically it sprouts from a religious background. In the western culture it is specific to Christianity and biblical teaching.
I love it because it is a reminder that we need to be careful about how we treat others no matter who they are or what they do to us. It is our reaction to these people that always cause me to re evaluate what we consider a peace treaty.
The natural reaction, at least mine is to slap the face of nasty people because that physical contact seems to be a way to get most people to snap out of their own sense of self importance. They are the ones that keep mischief going. You know those who pretend to be something they are not because they do not really like themselves.
That individual is normally the one that causes you to feel uneasy, because most of us do not know if they are completely sane. They are the ones that thrive on drama, are envious and jealous, so you never turn your back on them because you do not trust them not to stick a knife in it.
They are volatile and no one is safe from their wrath no matter how much they pretend, you know there is something just under the surface that causes you to be on your p's and q's. They disrupt the atmosphere's sense of peace. Yuck!
I have to stop myself from hating that kind of individual. Remember these tips.
- Be respectful
- Be firm
- Be honest
- Be straightforward
- Always speak your mind
- They talk negatively about people and feel it is okay
- They shine the light on other's negative points and laugh at it
- They are nasty
- They are jealous
- They are greedy
- They are selfish
- They must be the center of attention
- They brag on themselves
You know the 'B' in the center of the room who wants every one to believe they have their act together, so they belittle others, promote themselves and try to run the show. UGH! These individuals are typically bully's and depending on the environment get away with harassing others.
I don't particularly like bully's. They come in all shapes, sizes and age groups. They must manipulate every situation they are involved in to suit their own ego, irregardless of how it affects others. They don't make good, trustworthy friends.
They are snakes in the grass and no one is off limits to their forked tongue, accept those who know how to handle snakes. Hint - chop off their heads.
II. How to handle them
- Be bold
- Be assertive
- Remain calm
- Walk away if you can
- Face them if it can not be avoided
- Speak the truth, even if it hurts
- Set the rules you are willing to live by
Handling nasty people is not all that difficult. It is your reaction to them that wins the day, but you must be firm. Nasty people are all about intimidation.
III. Signs of nasty temperament
- they throw tantrums
- Others allow them to get their way
- No one tells them they are wrong
- They escalate situations, they get loud, threaten violence, etc
- They start gesturing, at you pointing fingers, rolling their neck and gyrating
- They embarrass others without a second thought
Ever wonder why people act like they are on pins and needles with that one person in the family? Because they know from past experience that that person is crazy and behaves like a demon possessed maniac if they are given the opportunity. So, therefore they are afraid, intimidated or uncaring.
Those who have experience with them usually make excuses for the person's nastiness and avoid telling them the truth. What a god awful mess.
But you do not have to accept any type of behavior that makes you feel uncomfortable. We all have a choice in what type of behavior good or bad that we are willing to accept and that does not matter where you are in your life or the people you are involved with. Respect is freely given but it can also be revoked, never forget you can walk away from any toxic relationship.
IV. Walking away
- What is acceptable
- What is unacceptable
- Know when to speak
- Know when to keep you mouth shut
- Draw emotional lines in the proverbial sand, and do not allow anyone to cross it
You are the one that makes the choice of what is acceptable and unacceptable in any relationship. Family relationships are harder to disconnect from but they can also be regulated by what you want to live with.
V. Push comes to shove, as a last option
- Limit your time
- Cut them off completely
Sometimes these are the only options left to us but FORGIVENESS, is the best way to get emotionally untangled. Another thing is to do them good and pray for them as well. Yes, i know i am asking a lot but it sure gives you such a sense of freedom that you know what life can really be like.