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7-Day Mourning Plan: Coping with Death of a Child
There's already been hundreds, if not millions of books written on how to cope with feelings of grief and loss. But practically for those mothers who grieve out there, who would have the time to read a hard bound book when you don't even feel like eating? These 7-day plan might be of help. There's no rush, take one step at a time.
Get some fresh air. Go out. Go out alone if you trust yourself not to jump on the first bridge you see. Get as far as you can from anything that will remind you of her.
Go to her room. Tidy her things up. Let the tears roll; don’t try drying them up. Let it all out. Cry and wail like a baby all you want. But don’t stop the chore. Set your mind into letting her things go; at least away from your sight for a while.
Ask a relative or a family friend to safe keep her things for you. Take a quick inventory of what’s inside your house. Give up every little reminder you have of her. Easier said than done but yes it is an effective way of coping with the unbearable grief.
Talk to the rest of the family of how you all need to support each other in this time of loss. It is of utmost importance to not talk about the negative emotions, or say any negative word associated with death. Be the first to divert the topic whenever it seems to lead that way.
Get back to doing the menial tasks. Spiders may very well have claimed your house by now. Plus, it’s not a secret how chores become great distractions when we put our hearts and minds on them. Though there’s always an end to it, at least there was a time within the day when you were not feeling so hopeless (not to mention useless).
Sweat it out. No one will mind if your tears fall with your sweat! Pick on a hobby you left decades ago (ok, just years ago). Call up some friends. Play ball (if used to do that), visit the gym, walk your dog and the list goes on. Like the chores, this is a good outlet for pent up emotions.
This is your quiet time. The whole 6 days before today may have seen you ravaged, torn and used up; but today, stay still. This is the time to replenish.
Still by Hillsong
By now you must have used all your energies and muscles. From the time you've come face to face with the knowledge of your child's death, to the funeral program preparations and finally the burial, it is finally time to move on and look forward.
All your time spent on trying to let go are not without a reward. To have been broken and emptied is to being open to be filled up again and be whole. Spend your quiet time at the end of the week (or even every night after the day has ended), with your Maker. Go home to Him whom you believe to have made you, and you’ll never go astray.
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