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7 Ways Parenting Can Be Fun And Not A Nightmare
7 Ways Parenting Can Be Fun And Not A Nightmare
There is nothing nobler, fascinating and more admirable than being a parent. Perhaps, one of the reasons all the none-officiating (Priest) men and women want or get marry, get a house and then begin the home building processes—part of which is bearing and raising children. This fun affair had turned a nightmare for many parents. Instead of seeing parenting as fun that it is, they tend to see it as a nightmare which may further create tensions that don't exist in the first place.
Have you ever read a book for examination purpose and the same for pleasure? If you’ve, you must have discovered a simple difference between the two. But if you haven’t, it’s not too late to give it a try.
In reading for exams, you struggle to understand, store, retain and make sure you are able to produce should a demand be made of you. But in reading for pleasure, you simply get it flowing and you tend to enjoy the fun created by the writer. The same is true for parenting—but irrespective of what anyone’s perception of parenting is or are, we do have a chance to learn and change our perceptions. That is one thing basic about being a human being—that ability to learn. It makes us unique and adaptable.
Parenting should be fun and not a nightmare. Here are seven things you can do to make it more fulfilling. I have learned these as a child and as an adult. I believe it they could help anyone to enjoy the fun of parenting.
- 1. Let everybody have a role; then reverse the role once in a while where necessary
As a child, there was one interesting moment I always look forward to. It’s the moment when I have the opportunity to play the role of my dad. For me, it was an opportunity to learn how to be a dad. And as was revealed by dad, it was an opportunity for him to see or learn my truly wants. The same happen between mum and my sister too. That makes everything fun. Dad and mum study what we do as a way to know what we expect of them.
When we take a wrong path, they called us to order. That kind of creates friendliness and openness in the family. In some ways, it also makes us feel really more equal and free. It put both of us—children and parent to understand the difficulties of each position and appreciate each other’s struggles.
Doing this was fun for us. Each of us looks forward to the day he or she will take a turn. Or sometimes we simply shy away from our day.
- 2. Make rules for the family not the children
The society cannot exist without laws so it the home. But are they laws in the society children specific? No! They are for everybody. You rule shouldn’t be children specific or targeting. The laws that govern the child must govern mum or dad.
My friend James has a rule for everyone in the family, no one eats alone. If it is too small to go round, then don’t bring it to the house. Everybody must share; so that no one salivates while other is enjoying—the rule applies to all and James lives it first for the children to see and learn.
- 3. Reward honesty
Honesty is a rare integral part of parenting and home building. It is an all important ingredient to building a trust based family. If then, honesty is an all important ingredient, it needs to be rewarded. Now a home is not a perfect place. It’s a continuously under construction and reconstructing process. That is why ‘bringing up a family should be an adventure’. You keep discovering more and new characters and behavior every day, and you have to adapt to each of them in order to be a good parent. Some may get you upset at first but looking them up a second time may get you laughing.
The one very important thing about rewarding honesty is that it encourages more honesty and builds confidence. I remember I did something stupid as a child of 11/12 and I thought I was in for a big trouble with my dad. When he asked me, I wanted to lie but I managed to muster up enough courage to admit. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “I am proud of you, not because you did it but because you proved I can count on your honesty. Your reward for being honest is, ‘You are forgiven!’”. Well, I can’t tell how that made me feels. But I know it did make me feel better than any punishment would have done. That makes me more determined, to be honest at all times to him.
The reason why children lie is because they lack the confidence and courage to admit the truth. Rewarding honesty helps them to build up that courage and confidence.
- 4. Let every single action be a lesson not a punishment
Scolding, canning is part of every day’s parent-children relationships. Punishment simply makes us feel bullied and pains and made us believe that those who inflicts them on us are bullies, enemies, wicked, hates us or that they are even terrors. That is because they don’t come with reasons and positive lessons we can value or cherish as children.
When you scold or cane a child without telling him/her why, without showing him/her what is expected of him/her, you are just a bully. But when you take the time to explain, you introduce love, lessons and show you only use that means a corrective measure and not punishment. The same action can give two difference results depend on how you’re able to make the child see the action.
- 5. Be a friend and a partner, not a daddy or mummy
The fact that you gave birth to your children makes you their dad or mum already. Your child or children recognized and knows that fact and respects it no matter how stubborn or wayward they are. But that is not what they look out for in you. They are looking for a friend and a partner who will help them understands their personal conflicts, overcome such conflicts and build their confidence. The truth is, if your children are not confiding in you, you are psychologically not their parent. That is where the load lies. We tend to be closer to those that share our emotional burdens and secrets than we are with those that share our roof, bed or food. Talk to your children. Talk with your children and talk to your children.
- 6. Be a life coach and a teacher
Well, every parent should be a life coach and teacher. That’s what a child need. As Mario Cuomo observed, “I talk and talk, and I haven’t taught people (children) in fifty years what my father taught by example in one week”. Isn’t that the work of a life coach? To give an example how it can be done? Your primary goal as a parent is to keep your children learning and acting in the proper ways; not to make them know you are a lord or superior.
For instance, I have a way of getting my children to get things done or to do my bid. I simply suggest in a subtle way. I could say, “Hay Jack or Julie, look at stuff, can we make it look this way or that way. I think that will make it beautiful, right?”
Sometimes I got a “Yeah dad! Don’t worry I will get it done”. Isn’t that amazing a response? Most we get it done together or I get a volunteer.
- 7. Create fun and friendship—that is the only rules that can prove love
Charles Peguy wrote, “Love is rarer than genius itself.
And friendship is rarer still”.
There is lots of gain in being a friendly dad or mum, it means no one can take your place in your child or children’s life. No one can do your duty and no one can win their heart more than you do. One mistake more parents make is that they thought they can impose respect. No! You can’t impose on people to respect you—not outside, not your children. If everybody knows his or her role, the rest is history and friendship build everyone up.
If you’re not simple and relax, the child won’t be free—then the sense of adventure is lost. Play games, together, take a ride together, take a walk together and go site seeing together. Remember what you taught them is what they are going to teach their children—your grandchild and as Mary S. Calderon rightly puts it, “Our children are not going to be just ‘our children’—they are going to be other people’s husbands and wives and the parents of our grandchildren”.