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8 Concepts You Should Never Teach Your Child
8 Concepts You Shouldn’t Teach Your Children
Unarguably, there are forces and powers beyond human control. While we cannot ignore effects of certain opinions, theories, and laws. We must strive to understand them in the context of what good they do or represents. It’s obvious we need to be open for bending and flexibility. Such adaptive positions help us to utilise our learning capacity fully.
Our minds in effects are like photographic plates. What we know about the universe are things imprinted upon it through teachings, learning, experiences and or psychological theologies. While groping with desires to see our children agree with us; follow our paths, and practice our faiths or share feelings. We must understand that such sentiments are or do not represent the absolute truth.
Some worth, there could be something truer than our sentiments, feelings, beliefs or viewpoints. If we conform them to one view (way) we may have denied them the ability to see other possibilities—perhaps, truer possibilities than those we hold so dear.
While you teach and train your children, remember the important goals:
That you own them the responsibility of teaching them to be true to themselves
That they are going to be men or women of their own someday
That they are going to explore possibilities if they must grow—through doubts and probes
That, there is known and unknown part of life which emerge somewhere known or unknown
And above all, that independence of life stems from independence of thought
These form the template for this article, "8 concepts you should not teach your child or children". Here is a list of eight things you should never teach your children; or teach them differently.
The concepts of finality
To begin with, there are no such things as finality. Nothing in life is ever final if we look them objectively. The world or universe is in constant flux and all things are subject to change—our opinions, faiths, beliefs, laws and perceptions or sentiments. Neither riches nor poverty is ever final. What is true today may not be true tomorrow. Therefore, you must never say, ‘never’ and you must never teach them that anything is final. Objectivity remains the hallmark of learning, growth and advancement.
2. Don’t teach them to be afraid
The concept of fear creates a fearful living. Fear, though, is innate and psychological. We all learn it even without been taught. But there are varieties of issues or topics parents teach their children to be afraid. Such teachings cripple their ability to learn and perform.
For instance, most parents teach their children that sex is bad. That could be quite untrue. Sex is not bad. If it is, why are we all are products of it (sex)? Instead of teaching that sex is bad, teach that sex comes with responsibilities and consequences.
Every action, of course, comes with responsibilities. That's what my dad taught me and I think that was fair enough. Don’t teach your children to be afraid, teach them to know and be responsible.
3. The concept of wrongdoing leads to hell
Well, heaven and hell are two possibilities. They are two options emanating from two sentiments:
Our lives on earth cannot just end here. It has to be continued somewhere.
Good and evil cannot enjoy the same fate. One has to be rewarded and the other has to be punished. So if our lives have to continue somewhere, there has to be chances of heaven for the good and hell for the evil. That's a possibility. That isn’t final or verifiable. It can be true as well, it can be false—so create a possibility for both.
The reason why what is considered evil is bad is because it destroys our common good. So we made laws to protect our common good and laws breakers are punished when caught. They may be punished again somewhere who knows? But instead of teaching that good and evil are rewarded or punished somewhere; teach what good or bad they do us here on earth.
Evil destroys our world and makes it difficult to live in. Good makes it better for all of us. Teach them to do well for the good in it not for fear of hell or for expectations of heavenly rewards.
4. Never teach feat of luck—rather teach feat of hard work
If we believe in the concept of cause and effects; if we believe concepts of sowing and reaping; what then is luck? Luck is an egg that doesn’t lay itself. I've often heard people say, “He is lucky, she is lucky or they're lucky”. Not so true! Even winning a lottery is a merger of effort, hard work and timing (seen and unseen).
I am not lucky. I've never been lucky. I don’t believe in being lucky nor trust that being lucky will solve my problems. So I don’t hope to be lucky any day someday. I earn my luck through hard works. If I believe anything about being ‘lucky’, then it’s being human and being graced with good health and a super-powerful brain (which also takes efforts; of you or someone else)—not in success, not in events.
5. Never teach your children to believe or live to wait for miracles
No denying, miracles do happen but you should never teach your children to believe or live to wait for miracles. This is going to be a goofing idea.
While it’s good to expect a dramatic or miraculous change—it shouldn’t take the place of effort. The expectation for miracles should be placed outside the zone of human effort—a point where effort cannot reach. This is required for a balanced life—spiritually, faith-wise, real or apparent efforts. That is absolutely wrong. Even a miracle requires some spiritual or psychological investment—at least, a faith in the unseen.
As rightly put by Benjamin Franklin, “He that lives on hope will die fasting”. Miracles come while we're busy acting, not when we're busy waiting.
6. Don’t teach your children freedom that is total—let them know it comes at a cost
We all like freedom and what to enjoy it for free. What message does that pass to us—that we can undo human helplessness? No! We can’t. The last two centuries has witnessed growth and demand for freedom. Do you know if you've to be free the way you want some other person’s freedom and security will be threatened or taken away? Do you realise there is no total freedom?
Oh yes, for you to live, your dad and mum gave up part of their freedom for you. Freedom is relative and it comes at a prize. If you're enjoying one you didn’t pay for, be reminded someone else pays for it. In trying to make our children free, we must teach them it's relative; we must teach them it comes at a cost.
7. Never teach your children education is going to school; teach rather going to school is one of the many ways of becoming educated.
Now, the word education means to develop from within. Most of us think that it’s to develop from outside. So we created schools. That in itself is not bad because we can develop from within by getting impacted from outside. What appears a near bad situation is not making the first or primary definition the goal. Instead of being productive, we become absorptive.
We further our errors by telling and teaching that people who never went to school are not educated. What an error? Should I say that education is 50% innate—that’s skills, gifts, and talents; 30% genetic or psychological and about 20% environmental or acquired? Yes, that’s my opinion. The greater inward must blend with lesser outward to create a hybrid. While the schooled are in classrooms doing theoretically frameworks. The non-schooled are on the field doing practicals.
One group just learned in the conventional environment while the other group learned in the unconventional. That's the difference. We both develop from within, we both learn and we both grow.
8. Never teach that what any book says is final being them Holy or institutional
I’m sure I'll run into trouble with some folks here. That won't force me to narrow my subject. All books are written by men and no matter how you paint it, that remains true. We may say inspired. We may say instructed. We may say they're given. All these are paintings to prove and defend our viewpoints as being superior.
Is someone thinking I’ll go to hell for blasphemy? Well, that's only a possibility unproven. What is proven is that Bible, Quran or evolutionary books are thoughts and opinions of men. What's evil is relegating your brain to dustbin simply because someone propounded a theory. I think God should rather be angry with you for not putting your brain into use.
Teach your children. Teach them to be independent. Teach them to be men and women of their own. That, however, comes with independence principles, thoughts and open-mindedness.