- Family and Parenting
9-1-1-Emergency-HELP! Parents today, dont take the time to know their kids
Why would you not want to know someone that is as special as they are?
What Can You Say You Know About Who Your Child Is?
The most wonderful thing about children is; they are not adults. The most important thing you can do with your children is; spend time with them. It does not matter if you sit down and watch a television show with them and have conversation about the show, characters and what is happening, or if you read them a book and let them turn the pages. They are going to enjoy it, because you are taking time for them. Even if you have an older child, talking to them matters-it leaves an impression on them that they will carry with them throughout life.
Parents have a million things to do. What each parent needs to realize is, there will always be dishes to wash, clothes to fold, a floor that needs to be swept, mopped or vacuumed-but there will come a time when your children will grow up and you won’t have a chance to spend time with them. It surprises me how many parents don’t know their kids. Ask yourself a few questions and determine-do you know your child?
- What is their best friend’s name? Where did they meet this friend? What are the common interests or what do your child and your child’s best friend enjoy doing together? What are the best friend’s parents names? What do they do?
- Does your child have a favorite toy? Favorite outfit? Favorite pair of shoes? How about a favorite movie or TV show?
- Is your child allergic to any type of food or medication? Do they have allergies?(Typically mothers know this one but fathers do not)
- How tall is your child? How much do they weigh? What size clothes and/or shoe do they wear?
- Do they have a bed time? If so, what time?
- Does your child have nightmares? What are they about?
- What does your child want to be when they grow up?
- Is your child afraid of bugs, snakes, dogs, and monsters?
- Does your child have any defining birth marks, moles or scars?
- If your child goes to school or daycare, what is their teacher’s name? Do they like him/her? If they are in kindergarten or under-when is their lunch time, nap time? Do they actually sleep during nap? If they are in 1st grade or higher-what is their favorite subject or teacher? Why?
- Without looking at a picture or at them, how long is their hair? What color? Do they have ear(s) pierced? If yes-what ear ring(s) do they typically wear?
- How much did you pay attention to them today? Do they have plans for the coming weekend? What were they wearing when you last saw them? Who were they with? What were they doing?
- If you have a daughter, does she wear makeup-shave her legs-paint her finger and toe nails?
- Does your child shower in the morning or at night? Do they really shower or do they go into the bathroom and run the water for ten minutes? Does your child brush their teeth and how often?
- Does your child have one particular thing that they absolutely dislike doing, eating or seeing?
Whether or not you wrote down answers, you know what you do and do not know about your child. Unfortunately when I asked 50 couples to answer these questions, not one couple was able to answer all of them 100% correct. The only individual people that were able to answer all of these questions were13 mothers, all of which had children under the age of 5, and some of these questions do not apply to them at this point. Only 3 parents, who have adolescence, knew their child’s best friends parents names and what they do for a living. A father of three was only able to tell me the color of each child’s hair. Another father had to confirm the spelling of his two year old daughters name with his wife. My questions to parents that are unable to answer basic questions having to do with their children is, what is so important in your life, that you have not found the time to know your kids?
If you are the parent of a teenager and your child did not come home from school one Friday afternoon, do you know where to begin looking for them? If you don’t know their friends and you don’t know their interests-you are in some serious trouble and your child may be as well. If you are taking a small child to a mall with you-you turn around to ask a store employee where the bathrooms are, when you turn back around-your child is gone. It takes about 15 seconds of scanning the store before panic starts to kick in. If you are unable to give your child’s height, weight, distinguishing birth marks to the police because you don’t know-you may not get a 2nd chance to be able to find out. Parents that do know the answers to these questions, have a hard time giving answers when in a panicked situation, I hope you can at least tell police what your child was wearing that day-if not, telling them a 3 year old with curly blond hair, blue eyes that has teeth and is wearing clothes may not help you out in a crowded mall.
The probability that your child will be abducted or come up missing isn’t likely, but do you really want to take the chance, just incase you are that 1 out of 1000? How about taking the chance that tomorrow does not come for your child? If their life is lost in a car accident or if they are taken by a sudden illness-you will never get the chance to memorize the exact tone to their laughter or the lines of their smile or the way that they smelled after a bath. What if tomorrow never comes for you? If you don’t know your children-how are they supposed to know you? You have not given them the chance to memorize the feel of your hug, or sound of your voice when you are happy, sad or excited-perhaps you could just leave them with a photograph? I'm sure that a picture will be equally as important as the memories that they don’t have because you were too busy at work or needed a few hours of alone time at the end of each day, instead of spending time with them.
I spend time with my kids and talk to them, and make a point to have a multitude of experiences with them because it helps me know them better, it helps them know me better and it is my way of showing them that the world is full of possibility. I do not want for my kids to learn how the world works, or be taught how to interact with others by watching the TV-while I attempt to do all the things we attempt to do but have no chance of ever having 100% completed . I did not conceive or give birth to them to have them raised by Blues Clues or Yo Gabba Gabba; I brought them into this world to leave this world in better hands than I entered it in. The only way I can or will ever have hope of doing this is determined by what I teach them through play and through talking while I spend time with them. The laundry can wait-answering the phone can wait-who ever is calling will leave a message if it is important, because for now-I have to go build a castle out of hundreds of Lego’s for a Barbie Princess being chased by Dinosaurs, after that we are going to visit Never Never Land before we take a bath and dream of fairies and adventures to the moon. When they lay their heads on their pillows I will be their to kiss their cheeks and cover each of them with their favorite blanket, and as I turn on the humpty dumpty night light and turn of the ceiling fan light-I will tell them that I love them and tomorrow we will have another adventure, so sleep tight-I will be here when you wake up in the morning. I know that if one day, I do not wake up in the morning, the very last thing they will remember, no matter the day-is that we had endless adventures with mommy and she always told us that she loved us and covered us with kisses, and that is what is the most important thing on my list of things to do today.
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