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Blame-An Addicts Best Friend

Updated on March 12, 2011

The first step in my recovery is taking responsibility for my actions

The first step is my recovery
The first step is my recovery

The Power-Who Has It?

I heard a comment on tv today and it got my attention.The comment came after a question. The question was..Will you change? The responce was...I'm not going to change, no body did it for me. There are some things that raced through my mind that I would like to share with anyone who is dealing with addiction. Whether it has to do with alcohol or drugs. They both consume us as we consume them. This is quite interesting and in my opinion ...worth the read.

These are the questions I have about this comment......What does anyone have to do with you changing? You mean they determine who you are? Who you can be? They control your destiny? Your life? WOW! That means, everything you do is for them/because of them. Not you...THEM. You are choosing to get back at them by giving them All the Power in/and over Your Life! WOW again!!! I would never allow anyone to have that kind of control over me. No Way!

So maybe you feel you are hurting them by your actions or in-actions. Who's actually getting the short end of the stick? YOU! You are the one who's going to pay the ultimate price. The price they pay will never be equal to your consequences. You are taking someone else down with you and the sad part of it all is that it doesn't change anything. You have chosen your destination and only you.

So I don't see a win win situation here. No body wins. No body comes out a winner and you may lose your life in the process. Sound promising? Selfishness, anger and revenge will get you nowhere except on a one way ticket to....

If you have children, who do they blame when your gone? What are they going to say about you (their Mom/Dad)? Will they say how proud they were of you? How wonderful of a parent you were? Or.....Do they have to live with Your Choices?. What will they carry throughout their lifetime?

YOU need to make this end or it never will. FACT! YOU hold the power and the outcome. No body else does or ever will. You can either give hope or leave everyone else without it. Hope for life and for the ones who want you in it. Your choice. No one can have hope if you decide you have none to give. So whats it gonna be???

I have a 3 part series on alcoholism. Even if your a drug addict your still addicted, so if your ready to face the harsh truth about your behavior and the effects your addiction is having on others then I would start here. There's no better time than NOW. Before it's too late. God only know...This may be the last chance you will ever have. With God's help, you can be on your way to recovery. God Bless You!

Part one, two and three

Here are two hubs on Forgiveness "How To Truly Forgive and We Are Forgiven.


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    • profile image


      7 years ago

      nice article...

    • reemhmam profile image


      7 years ago

      good topic thanks

    • drpastorcarlotta profile image

      Pastor Dr. Carlotta Boles 

      8 years ago from BREAKOUT MINISTRIES, INC. KC

      Addiction, A life I lived, a life Jesus SAVED!!! Praise God! Wonderful hub!!! Missed you!

    • Tamarajo profile image


      8 years ago

      years ago I learned in Alanon to take responsibility for your life good or bad. Even if you were a victim of something you still must take responsibility in deciding what you will do with it. And how you will allow it to affect you. Informative hub thanks

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Hi Tina, Have you read my three part series on Alcoholism? It's an embarressing, ugly, draining and overwelming disease and it effects everyone who's in contact. Blame is their best friend. I wish your friend would read my series too. When one is still in the addiction the alcohol is speaking, not the person. We too can become addicted/overwelmed by the pain they are suffering. We need to be an example before them by trusting in God. Some need to fall, before they will see the light, sad to say. They need to come to a point where they can/will no longer tolerate it's effects. Not only the effects it has on them, but the effects it is having on others. It's a sad state to be in. Will you take time to read my series and also read "Trials and Temptations-The Valleys of Life" because we too can be stuck in this disease (this valley).I know I was. We must say a prayer for her. I will continue to keep her in my prayers. God bless you and keep you!

    • Tina Ann profile image

      Tina Ann 

      8 years ago from Frozen tundra of the Northwoods

      I am very close to an addicted soul and it is true that she suffers more than I do. It's painful to see. She says it started with her parents giving her alcohol as a very young child. And it's true that her parents and her brothers are/were (her dad is gone now) struggle with this (whether they see it as a struggle or not). Her one brother actually had to go to rehab and her mom wanted so badly to keep it quiet within the family. Perhaps she felt guilty. Perhaps she didn't want to face her own problems with alcohol. Perhaps she didn't want the family secret to get out. I don't know. I friend also puts a lot of blame on stress. It's how she "copes". But it's funny how getting out of her stressful marriage and attaining freedom caused her to drink more slide much further down the mountain. I know that it is all up to her and that she needs mountains of help that I can't give her. She refuses, of course.

      Thank you for this post. It served to remind me who has to start helping my dear friend- herself.

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Amen brother! The truth has been spoken! When sin comes at us (and it comes with a vengence) we must not let it in, not allow it to penetrate for that is it's purpose. We need to rise above it, call it by its name and rebuke it out loud. Say it has no place in me. For where God is..there is NO room for Satan! Not let Satan gain a foothold in our souls. Grab the bible and start reading. Breathe in His Holy Spirit of healing. You should be a preacher Bob! Amen!

    • no body profile image

      Robert E Smith 

      8 years ago from Rochester, New York

      Our enemy knows our lusts and temptations. He knows what we are prone to succumb to and puts it in front of us. When we give in to it enough we have to realize we will always have that weakness to that temptation. When the Lord delivers us from it He does not promise that the enemy will not offer it again. He does say that there is healing in His wings. He does say that we are to become dead to sin. When the temptation comes we are to become dead to it. Like a corpse that you tell a joke to... they will never laugh because they are dead and God says we must become dead to ourselves and to sin and alive in Him. We do this by clinging to Him, by praying without ceasing, by reading and soaking in the word of God, by ministering to others and being aware that we will never be strong of ourselves against that lust or temptation that had become the addiction. I believe that Satan has us all at the edge, if not totally addicted to something. But there is healing in the wings of the Lord. Mine is porn and I must watch where I go, what I do, what I read, who I hang with, everything that comes in to me. I pray and watch all the time. I remind myself that I have a Lord that loves me, a wife that I need to be faithful to, a sister and brother I can call at any time to help me to get over the next weak point. We struggle against spiritual forces. God in us is stronger than he that is in the world.

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you Dave! Yes, there are many addictions. Addiction is meant "to destroy/self distruct, whether mentally, financially or phycially. All considered self destructive and distructive to others around you. We need to be "addicted to God! Amen!

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you djbraman, I am able to provide this imformation because I delbt with it first hand. I was raised in an alcoholic/abusive family with all the phycical and mental that goes with it and let me tell you, I never suffered so much in my life! The beatings my Mother took day after day. Her swollen black and blue face. You could'nt even recognize her! She was barefoot and pregnant, had 10 kids from being raped constantly. I was one of them.

      I would never wish that on anybody. People with addiction take these matters too lightly and don't consider the effects it has on those around them. I am still effected in more ways than one and have lived out 2/3's of my life with the effect's of it and I notice that I am not normal because of it. I'm not the only one who see's this in me, others do as well. So will I ever find true happiness? I wonder. I have sought help but the effects run deep. I so want to reach out to anyone who is having to deal with this horrible disease and try to prevent this from happening to them! God Bless you brother!

    • Dave Mathews profile image

      Dave Mathews 

      8 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

      TimeHealsAll, addictions come in many shapes and sizes, we now know that people can even become addicted to computers,cell phones,gambling is an addiction even food.

      The only way to try to avoid these addictions is to turn to God in prayer.

      Brother Dave.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      This is interesting because I saw the preview of this man you are talking about and my first thoughts were, hey, there's that me, me, me thing. Unfortunately he will remain in his addiction with such stinking thinking. People change around you and for you when they see a positive change in you. Good hub, and so, so needed. I knew when I saw that man and looking at the pain in this family what this family needed was Christ. The horrible hurt and pain is real with addictions in families. Christ is the only healer and He changes our hearts first. This is a wonderful work to do for Christ in others. It takes a great deal of love and I think you have it my dear Sister!

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you Judah's Daughter! I believe God is working through me to help heal the wounded in heart. My ears are open to him. I never know what he is going to place on my heart but whatever it is I know there is a purpose. If one soul can be healed from whatever is keeping them in bondage then Praise be to God! Love and hugs sister!

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you lorlie6! Good to hear from you again! Responsibility, WOW! So So true. We are all responsible for our own actions and our own recovery. I don't know anybody out there who is going to do it for us. But there is someone who will help in the process...God. Blessings my friend!

    • TimeHealsAll profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Thank you Vladimar! My articals come on quick. I believe God is working through me to help in the healing process. Blessings my friend!

    • Judah's Daughter profile image

      Judah's Daughter 

      8 years ago from Roseville, CA

      God is so good to spark His truth to us and through us; amen! Keep on preachin' it, sister!

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 

      8 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      Taking responsibility is a core issue in recovery, as you well know, TimeHealsAll. Thanks for such a helpful hub!

    • Vladimir Uhri profile image

      Vladimir Uhri 

      8 years ago from HubPages, FB

      Thanks for very good article.


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