A Good Day on a Bad Day
Here I sit in the quiet and stillness of the night, watching my computer do a boot scan, smoking a cigarette, and feeling at peace with the world. July 7th should not be that way for me; for if life had gone the way it should have, I would be celebrating my 20th anniversary and not thinking of my being divorced for nine years or the reason why.
How is it possible to be so happy when for the past week, I’ve done nothing but cry and sleep? I guess seeing our daughter everyday made it hard for me this year— but I made it through July 7th. With a big smile on my face and a song in my heart. What a beautiful feeling!!!!!
I see how she’s grown into a woman to be proud of; especially from the rebellious teenager, who at the time, I felt as if I could never make up to her what was done to her. Yet here she is: a mother of four children and married to someone, who gives her what she needs. LOVE!!!!.
The only thing I hate her adoptive father for—is showing her how to get her way when the route she takes is not the right one because of a warped sense of thinking that only he could have taught her. But I know, she will be okay. I see her now and am so amazed.
And even though her life at times is hell, she picks herself up and still keeps trucking on. Sometimes she overdoes things as we all do. But the love within her heart still comes shining through.
Granted she can be cold, but we all do it too. It's her guard against being hurt. I can understand that, can you?
© 2010 Ashel Ladyhawke