- Family and Parenting
A Grandparent's Everlasting Duty
Grandparents have their grandchildren’s attention in a very special way. Sometimes, though, that advantage goes to waste because grandparents don’t realize what wonderful people they’d make, or how greatly their own children would appreciate help in raising their children.
.Most parents have to learn the hard way that children actually have very good memories. But it’s a proven fact that from a very early age, kids can repeat word exactly what you should not have said.
Kids mimic good behavior, too, even when modeled by people other than their parents. Coaches, teachers and active teens are often credited by young people with having a powerful impact on everything from their batting stance; to their choice of career.
Grandparents, in this case, enjoy a unique advantage as teachers. First, of course, the relationship has a depth permanently and comfort level unequaled by any but that of a parent and child. That does not mean that every grown son or daughter appreciates their folks’ advice on every aspect of childhood – baby names and pacifier use are a couple items to steer clear of.
By recognizing and demonstrating the quality of doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong at “teachable moments,” grandparents can teach the behaviors of virtue. While parents, of course, can do the same things to their own kids, grandparents still have something unique to offer the development of a child. They have a different and less-driven view of the world that makes it easier for a child to adapt with fullness of fun and high spirits.
Do you know why grandchildren are always so full of energy? They suck it out of their grandparents. ~ Gene Perret
Grandparents also want their grandchildren to develop virtues sooner rather than later. If you're the typical parents, you know the thrills of seeing your child come home from grandma's neater and more polite.
Grandparents also don’t feel they need to try to shape the child into something the child might not want to be shaped into. Because grandfathers and grandmothers are not directly responsible for the day-to-day care and discipline, they are able to assume the job of a friend and confidante. This allows children to feel more comfortable discussing sensitive issues with a grandparent than with their own parents.
It is so much joy for a child to receive something from grandma or grandpa. Older children and adolescents, especially whose parents have separated, divorced, or those living in single-parent or step-family households, see their grandparents as sources of comfort. Time spent with them helps equip grandchildren with better social skills and fewer behavior problems.
A World of Support
Every grandparent can see that when parents are stressed, children are stressed. This is where grandparents come in -- by offering words and assurances on things turning out OK. They may not solve everything, but older people are a great resource.
You and Your Parents
Old Dad and Mom help you become more realistic about your own lives by remembering your own childhood. Despite the many "uncertainties" caused by today's noise, your parents are the best people to give you an island of peace. It's them reminding you about family time and how you have savored every sense of belongingness, love and security back to your own home.
Your Parents and Your Children
Your parents are living witnesses of the many things you have survived when you were young. They can tell your children how you have played ball and how playing ball remained among the most basic outdoor fun they too can enjoy. Thoughts like it's not safe to play outside the house these days continue to distract you; then there is grandpa's backyard.
If grandparents were there then, and still here now -- it simply proves of a journey that's still and so much capable of providing unconditional love.
There are fathers who do not love their children; there is no grandfather who does not adore his grandson. - Victor Hugo
Grandparenting - Second Chance and Sweeter
Many grandparents find grandparenting an opportunity to relive childhood, some even feel it a second chance to parent all over again. The only difference is that this time, they'll be parents with a little more time and patience.
Grandkids get more attention than their own kids, and it's amazing how the little ones can easily get grandma and grandpa's undivided attention. This answers why grandchildren feels that somehow at “Grandma’s house” everything seems just a little but better than it is at home."
Like parents, grandparents also recognize teachable moments – to seek them out and use them as opportunities to instruct a grandchild not just to be “trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, and kind,” not only as part of the boy scout oath goes, but why it is important to be so.
Smiles for Your Thoughts
- My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too. ~Gene Perret
- "On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town." ~ Gene Perret
- An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. ~Gene Perret
- Grandchildren: the only people who can get more out of you than the IRS. ~Gene Perret
..and Some Words for Contemplation
Grandparents like everything to be "the best," which tend to over-indulge grandchildren and create issues. It is still wise to ration the offers of advice. Go just once in a while; you would like to contemplate the cusp between the realistic and the fanciful. This way, not only can you form joy and discipline, but take this area in a more practical approach.
To our grandfathers, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
What About If:
- Grandparents Are Bad Influence?
Multigenerational and family issues expert Amy Goyer offers advice for easing conflict with grandparents and tapping into this rich familial resource.
- Conflict with Parents and Grandparents Arise?
It's not always easy for parents and grandparents to get along, especially when these issues come up