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An Adopted Child Writes A Letter: To My Birth Mother Who I Never Knew

Updated on March 12, 2014
The adopted child sixty-three years later
The adopted child sixty-three years later
The author and his adopted family.
The author and his adopted family.

Setting the Stage

I was born on October 13, 1948. It was a Wednesday at 2:10 p.m. that I entered this world. Two days earlier the Cleveland Indians had defeated the Boston Braves to win the World Series four games to two. Three days earlier the Soviets had launched the first successful missile to reach space. Seven days earlier an earthquake in Ashgabat killed over 110,000 people. In nineteen days Harry S. Truman would defeat Thomas Dewey in the Presidential election despite newspapers claiming that he had lost.

The world continued doing what it does on October 13, 1948. Millions of kids headed off to school, parents headed off to work, the sun shone (my fantasy), the weather weathered and I was put up for adoption. I would spend the next nine months in eight different foster homes; by the end of June, 1949 I was undernourished, under-nurtured and blind when I was adopted by Evelyn and Dale Holland in Tacoma, Washington. Two weeks after the adoption I gained my sight. The rest, as they say, is history.




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My Letter to My Mother

Dear Mother (Who I Never Knew):

I thought I would take a few minutes and tell you about the son you gave birth to; since chances are great that you will never read this I guess this letter is more for me than you, a cleansing of sorts to put things in perspective and bring some closure.

I was adopted nine months after you gave birth by Evelyn and Dale Holland of Tacoma, Washington. They were in their twenties when they adopted a blind child who had been bounced around from one foster home to another, eight times in fact, and they gave me a home and a loving environment in which to grow and thrive. Sure they had their problems; what young couple doesn’t? There was never a moment, however, during my upbringing when I doubted their love for me. They both worked hard and did everything in their power to provide a loving home. They pampered me, as most parents will, and they made sure that I attended the best schools that they could afford, often going without so that I would have the tools and opportunities to succeed. They are both dead now; dad died of a heart attack when I was twenty and mom died of cancer in 2003 and I miss them both greatly. The lessons they taught me and their words still live on today and I find myself recalling those words and lessons and I smile. Like most kids I often turned a deaf ear when they tried to teach me something but in the end the lessons stuck and have guided me throughout my life.

I had a good childhood. I was small for my age but finally grew to a fairly normal size. I was a happy child with good friends and a great neighborhood to explore and a safe environment that fostered learning and love. I was sickly as a child, seemingly catching every flu and cold bug but I managed to avoid the horrible diseases that so many caught during the Fifties and Sixties.

Once I had traversed the landscape of childhood my body grew strong and impervious to any disease so that today I look back and marvel at the body you gave me. I am sixty-three now and have been blessed with a body that seems to know no limits or restrictions. I have only been to the hospital once, for a back operation, and considering what I put my body through over the years it is nothing short of a miracle that it continues to function as well as it does.


Sit With Me and Let's Chat About Acceptance

Tough times, Mom

I have made mistakes along the way, Mom. I have been divorced twice and tripped and stumbled often as I found my way through life. When times got tough and I ran out of answers I turned to alcohol and I fought that disease for decades. I am happy to report that I have now been sober for five years and I am the happiest that I have ever been. I have a twenty-seven year old son, Tyler, who is a great kid and I love him very much. I am engaged to the most wonderful woman (Bev) who has shown me more about love in the past four years than I ever knew in all the years prior.

I was a school teacher for eighteen years; I have always loved children and it turned out I had a special talent in a classroom, a real passion to pass on knowledge to my students. Besides teaching I have had twenty other jobs to put bread on the table and each job taught me something about life and responsibility. Today I write full time and I have found the same passion for writing that I once had for teaching.

I have never tried to find you, Mom, as so many adopted kids do. I decided a long time ago that you had your reasons for placing me with an adoption agency and that I respect those reasons, whatever they may be. It is not for me to judge you; you did what you thought was right at the time and I can never know why you made that decision because I wasn’t there and I am not you. There is no blame in this letter. I was adopted by two people who loved me and gave me the best upbringing a boy could ask for; to blame you when I was given everything I needed by my adopted parents would be silly of me.


Your son today
Your son today | Source

I love you

I guess I wanted you to know that I love you and I wanted to thank you. You so easily could have opted for an abortion. It certainly was not unheard of back in 1948; there were ways to have it arranged and in many ways it would have been the easy solution for you. Instead you carried me for nine months and then endured the physical pain of giving birth and the emotional and psychological pain of giving your son away and I know without any doubt that you must have suffered greatly in doing so.

So I thank you, Mom; you gave me birth and in doing that you gave me a chance, and sixty-three years later that boy you gave life to is a happy and fulfilled man who is surrounded by love. That is an incredible gift, Mom, and I will forever love you for that gift.

I hope you are alive and well; if not I hope you had a good life, a loving life, a life filled with wonder, in short the same kind of life you gave me.

Love always,

Bill

Author's note

This was written a year ago. I still have not tried to find my biological mother, but my son, who is also adopted, did find his birth mother six months ago and it was a lovely reunion. They are now getting to know each other and making up for lost time.

I will forever be grateful to my birth mother for giving me the greatest gift she could have given me.....LIFE!

2013 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

"Helping writers to spread their wings and fly."

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    • Matt Tuller profile image

      Matt Tuller 5 years ago from Olympia, Washington

      Nice. Very touching. It's good to appreciate that kind of stuff. Many people go through their lives feeling crippled and betrayed bitter and beaten for much less. It's nice to see.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Matt; I've had a good life and it just keeps getting better.

    • profile image

      Sandy Malzahn 5 years ago

      Thank You Uncle Bill, I love the story and it helped me know where you stand and how you feel. It might seem strange but, I have often wondered about where you stand and how you feel. Love you!!!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You are welcome Sandy and love you too!

    • poetvix profile image

      poetvix 5 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

      I am in awe of your positive attitude and mature outlook on a difficult situation, not to mention the kindness and compassion this shows. Welcome to Hubpages. I predict you will do very well. Thank you so much for sharing something so personal.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Petvix, thank you! It took me a long time to reach the "mature" level but I'm still working on it. Best of luck to you although it does not appear that you need luck with the track record you have.

    • sholland10 profile image

      Susan Holland 5 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Bill, this is beautiful! You found the positive and held no malice. It must have been a hard thing for your mother in the 40's to give you up. We have a destiny from birth, and yours was with your wonderful parents. I know your birth mother would be proud of you. I am glad you were blessed with your adoptive parents. Voted up, useful, beautiful, awesome, and interesting. Thanks for sharing your letter.

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Bill - I found this on Twitter as Sholland shared it with me. I am so touched by this....and your birth mother would be so proud of you - as a mother myself I know this:)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Wow Poetvix, did I really spell your name as badly as it looks? I must have been way past my nap when I wrote that...I apologize profusely.

      RealHousewife....thank you; your words mean so much to me.

      sholland10...what can I say; I am humbled by your praise and since your last name is Holland it means that much more to me. :)

    • sholland10 profile image

      Susan Holland 5 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      We Hollands are cool!! :-) LOL

    • profile image

      Barbara Thavis 5 years ago

      I lost my daughter to adoption in 1980. She looked for me snd that was the greatest gift she will ever be able to give me. You see even as late as the 80's women were coerced into giving ip their children when not married. Or poor. We were told it was the loving thing to do. Bunk. Mothers and children should never be separated.

      Your mother endured much trauma by losing you. It's like losing a part of your body. Part of your soul goes with the child.

      You wrote s lively letter. Just know that it almost certainly wasn't your mothers choice to lose you. And she most likely eould be so delighted to meet you today. It's worth the risk, Bill. Do it for your mom.

    • profile image

      CP 5 years ago

      Bill, it was a kind and thoughtful letter you wrote to your birthmom, full of understanding and heart. It is the kind of letter I wished I could have received from the child that I had to relinquish in 1973. Even then, society frowned upon single girls keeping their babies. Young people today have no idea what it was like.

      My child, who is now 38, wants nothing to do with me. Even so, she could have written kinder letter than she did. Mine and my family's hearts have been shattered. For so many years, I was full of false hope and fantasized about meeting one day. For now, it's not to be, but I pray that her sentiments may change. I hope that she can put herself in my shoes, for once, and try to understand.

    • profile image

      Barbara Thavis 5 years ago

      Ilost my daughter to adoption in 1980. She looked for me and that was the greatest gift she will ever be able to give me. You see, even as late as the 80's women were coerced into giving up their children when not married. Or poor. We were told it was the loving thing to do. Bunk. Mothers and children should never be separated.

      Your mother endured much trauma by losing you. It's like losing a part of your body. Part of your soul goes with the child.

      You wrote a lovely letter. Just know that it almost certainly wasn't your mothers choice to lose you. And she most likely would be so delighted to meet you today.

      It's worth the risk, Bill. Meet her. Do it for your mom.

    • Field-Of-Flowers profile image

      Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA

      Hi billybuc thank you so much for sharing this letter with us. I had a son in 1980 that I placed for adoption. It was one of the hardest things I had to endure in life. Knowing that when I sign the papers, I would more than likely never see him again. I can't even put into words the anguish one goes through... I searched for my son for 15+ years. I posted my information on more adoption websites than I can remember in hopes of finding him. It was when I decided to give up searching, that I received an answer. It was truly God that did that for me.

      I did find him and I've been in contact through emails, letters and facebook. He is married and I also have 2 beautiful granddaughters. He's not ready to meet me yet and I respect that. I hope someday to be able to see him face to face and give him the biggest hug and kiss and let him know he's been loved forever. Also to meet his beautiful wife and adorable girls.

      Thank you again for writing this. As a birthmom myself, if I were to receive a letter such as this from my son...I'd be elated! I was contemplating writing a hub about my experience. Since reading this, it just solidifies even deeper that I will pursue it. You have my votes for sure!

      Have a great day and God bless! :-)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I will respond to all as soon as our power is back on...thank you so much for your lovely responses.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      We Hollands are very cool!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Barbara...thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. A difficult subject indeed but one that is so important to be talked about and shared...I appreciate your willingness to do so.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      CP...thank you for sharing your story. I have no doubt at all about the difficulty of giving up a child and I admire you for telling your story; perhaps others can learn from your words.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Barbara...thank you for sharing your words with me and for your encouragement. I may one day follow your suggestions; they have been on my mind a lot lately.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Field of Flowers...that is just beautiful and I am truly happy for you. That is a happy ending anyone could enjoy...thank you for your comments and God bless you and your son!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      To all of you: your responses, comments and personal stories have touched me deeply. Thank you!

    • profile image

      kelleyward 5 years ago

      Billybuc your adoptive parents demonstrate what it means to me to not just become a parent but to be a parent. What a beautiful example you have written that sometimes it takes many people to be the parent a child deserves. Thanks for your words they touched my heart!!!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kelley...I think you said it much better than I did in my hub; thank you for your words.

    • carozy profile image

      carozy 5 years ago from San Francisco

      Beautiful. Your love shines through.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      carozy...that was a beautiful comment...thank you!

    • Enlydia Listener profile image

      Enlydia Listener 5 years ago from trailer in the country

      The pressure from adults often are the reason for a mother giving up her child for adoption. I am sure your mom would have kept you if she could have.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I have no doubt, Enlydia, that she would have, and I respect her decision for what it was: best for her, best for me. A win-win situation. Thank you for checking in.

    • KevinC9998 profile image

      KevinC9998 5 years ago

      Billybuc: Thanks for an inspiring hub. Great job and voted up! Kevin

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kevin, I appreciate the vote and the kind words. Take care and be well.

    • profile image

      DCE '11 5 years ago

      I love this story! It's so touching...I wish I had gotten to know you better when you were teaching. I hear life is good for you right now, and I'm happy for you. God bless, Mr. Holland!

    • profile image

      DCE '11 5 years ago

      I love this story! It's so touching...I wish I had gotten to know you better when you were teaching. I hear life is good for you right now, and I'm happy for you. God bless, Mr. Holland!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      DCE....well I wish I knew who you are so I could thank you in more depth on a personal level...thank you for reading, and commenting, and for being my student.

    • creativelycc profile image

      Carrie L. Cronkite 5 years ago from Maine

      What a beautiful letter to your birth mother. You have truly been blessed by both your birth mother for giving you life and your adoptive parents for loving you unconditionally.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      creativelycc...yes, I have, and I couldn't be happier because of it. Thank you so much for visiting and commenting; I just love the positive feedback I have received.

    • profile image

      MP50 5 years ago

      Great Hub billybuc, truly touching and inpirational. So happy you came through, nice dog by the way.

      Voted up and shared.

    • Don Simkovich profile image

      Don Simkovich 5 years ago from Pasadena, CA

      I'm glad you wrote this. I may pass it on to my son-- our four children are adopted out of foster care and we have two boys we were guardians to during their teen years. I've been wanting to write about my experience as an adoptive dad and the challenges of the past 5 years. Glad to read such a personal touch.

    • ajcor profile image

      ajcor 5 years ago from NSW. Australia

      This a truly touching letter Bill - and if I was your birth mother and read this I would be rushing out to find you...but more to the point it is lovely to know that with the help of your 3 parents you have reached a wise, thoughtful and loving maturity....cheers

    • Escobana profile image

      Escobana 5 years ago from Valencia

      Beautifully written Billybuc! I can so much relate to the compasion you have for your birthmother. She made a huge sacrifice when giving you up for adoption.

      I was given up too. A Colombian babygirl I was. I think back of my birthmother once in a while though I never met her. I think back at her with so much love.

      To be able to feel nothing but love for the one person that gave you up, is an incredible way of going through life. Loved to read your letter!

      Voted up, shared and away:-)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      ajcor, that was a lovely thing to write. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Don, congratulations on a job well-done. Raising four kids from foster care; you and others like you have a special place in my heart. Thank you for reading and commenting.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jazz is a great dog; we are both getting along in years but we remain faithful. Thank you for your comment and for following along on my journey.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      A beautiful letter to your mother. Your appreciation shines through with each word of gratitude. You got my vote!!!:)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Escobana, your words touch me and are greatly appreciated. Thank you and thank you again!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sunshine, your continued support truly does warm my heart. Thank you again for your words and sentiment.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      All of you have touched my heart with your comments; you have no idea how much they mean to me.

    • greatparenting profile image

      greatparenting 5 years ago from philadelphia, pa and corolla, nc

      What I love about your letter, and there are actually many things, is that you demonstrate a true understanding of what it means to be a parent. It's not about who gave life to you at the moment of birth; it's about the person who gives you his or her life every day of your life. It's about the person who would lay down her life for you. You get it, Bill and I am so happy to read that your life is so wonderful now. I'll bet you were a wonderful teacher. You sound like a person who deserves much happiness. Voted up and beautiful.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      greatparenting...those words are like music to my heart. So kind of you to say those things. Thank you for stopping by and commenting and best of luck to you in the future.

    • Millionaire Tips profile image

      Shasta Matova 5 years ago from USA

      Congratulations on your HubNugger nomination!

      https://hubpages.com/community/HubNugget-Mystery-T...

      Well deserved!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you millionaire; very kind words indeed and I greatly appreciate it.

    • EyesStraightAhead profile image

      Shell Vera 5 years ago from Connecticut, USA

      Congratulations on your nomination. This was incredibly brave, touching, and beautiful. The courage it took to write this and share it with the world...Wow. You took a step that I believe many will be blessed because of and encouraged by. I especially love that you noted it would be silly to be upset when you were given such a wonderful life. I think this is something so many people miss in the heartache of being given up for adoption. One little girl I know said about her adoption, "My mother allowed me to be special. Most kids have to live with the mother and father they are born to, but mine loved me enough to let my Mommy and Daddy pick me. My mother and father gave me life, but my Mommy and Daddy give me love. My mother and father gave me hope, and my Mommy and Daddy give that hope wings. I will never feel that they didn't love me and hope for the best because for me to have such a great family now let's me know I am in the right place. I was born to be placed with the X's." (Name withheld due to privacy.) When she shared that with me it was so touching and so true. It helped me realize that not all adopted kids have to feel a void. It is all in the perspective. Like that little girl, you have a good perspective. Thank you for sharing.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      eyes...that was a beautiful letter you shared with me and I am most grateful and touched by it. Thank you so much for the well-wishes and the kind comments. I am humbled by those words.

    • htodd profile image

      htodd 5 years ago from United States

      This is really a very touching story ..Thanks for that

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      htodd...and thank you for reading it and commenting so nicely.

    • Queen Bumble Bee profile image

      Queen Bumble Bee 5 years ago from My Queendom

      What a great letter. I am glad you have a good life, so many kids never get this chance. You are right, it looks that your birth mother made a right decision a long time ago.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Queen; the outpouring of well-wishes following this hub has been a wonderful thing for me. I appreciate your words.

    • Martins Fraulein profile image

      Martins Fraulein 5 years ago

      Reading this has been an honor. it really has. this story is beautiful. for you to come out, and express yourself, has touched mu heart. you have an amazing look on life, i love this so much.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      martins, you have no idea how that makes me feel. Thank you so much for reaching out and making an old writer feel good.

    • Martins Fraulein profile image

      Martins Fraulein 5 years ago

      you are absolutely right, you are loved. you are loved by the people who you have inspired through this hub, and that includes me. I hope to one day meet you in person one day, or to write you actual letters. this has really been a true inspiration to my life.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      He wrote with tears in his eyes...."thank you." Writing, for me, is all about feeling and passion. If I have helped you then my night has been a wonderful adventure. Feel free to email me if you like and we can share stories...are we allowed to share email addresses? guess we are about to find out...holland1145@yahoo.com

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 5 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Hi Billy...I can feel you as I read your words...your sincerity, your love and your gratitude...and my eyes are teary eyed. So many times, we become so focused on our woes that we forget to celebrate the blessings. I thank you for sharing your story which is very inspiring. If your mom would read this I am sure she will be so proud, so happy to know she had such a great and wonderful son! Keep sharing your love and light as you have so much to share to the world. Blessings and love from a kindred spirit.

      Congratulations on your Hubnuggets nomination. To all who would like to read and vote and support the Hubnuggets, this way please: https://hubpages.com/community/HubNugget-Mystery-T...

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      ripplemaker, that was gracious of you and I deeply appreciate your words. Thank you so much!

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Calhoun 5 years ago from Western NC

      Your hub brought tears to my eyes. Egads, you're an amazing writer. We have another thing in common: I'm adopted, too. Catholic school, adoption, alcoholism (in the family, at least) - sheesh. I hope you get this HubNugget. You DESERVE it! I want to be just like you when I'm a good writer. :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      cclitgirl...well shoot, now I'm blushing at seven in the morning. Thank you my dear, but I think you are a great writer, and I will always respect someone who survived Catholic school. :)

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

      You owe me a box of tissues. This is open, gracious, and very moving. I am at a loss for words! Well done.

    • jeyaramd profile image

      jeyaramd 5 years ago from Mississauga, Ontario

      Your mother is very fortunate to have a son like you. I am sure that she would be moved if she were to read this letter. Its so nice that you have so much gratitude and appreciation for your parents and for life in the grand sense of the word. I think we can all learn something from this wonderful letter to your birth mother. I would have cried a pail if I was your mother. I am at a loss for words. You really are a good soul.

      Your letter is a testament to what being a parent means. As I read your letter, I felt an immediate sense of genuine affection. Your words are very inspiring. The fact that you talked about your experiences with a positive tone was beautiful to read. I think when we look at things; we will appreciate the wonderful things in our life. Everything happens for a reason. I think your parents are definitely a gift, a blessing, and symbol of good heart. I can see that they must have brought you up so well.

      You are definitely your parents legacy. Thanks for sharing this awe inspiring and emotional letter. Thanks so very much. You have made my day. Bless your soul. You are a good soul. Thanks so very much. I miss my parents dearly as well. They were both teachers and wonderful human beings.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Oh Tammy, why is it that I feel so good when you read one of my hubs and comment? Thank you and the tissues are in the mail; just keep reading and I'll keep sending them.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      jeyaramd, that is incredibly nice of you to say. It is a letter that has been a long time in the making. I wish, now, that I had met my birth mother so she could have heard these words. Oh well, no regrets and move forward. Thank you my dear; your words have touched me.

    • kat11 profile image

      kat11 5 years ago from Illinois

      I think no matter what happens when it comes to a mother's love it will always be there. A warm touching hub that will give any mother joy. You inspire those around you.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Well thank you kat11; those are kind words indeed and I appreciate them greatly.

    • Cliff Mendrez profile image

      Cliff Mendrez 5 years ago from Philippines

      Billybuc, this is a beautiful piece. I admire your positive attitude and loving heart. I hope other adopted kids will realize the things you shared here instead of blaming and cursing their parents for the rest of their lives. It's always nice to read an inspiring story such as yours.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Cliff; I appreciate your words and my hope is the same as yours. Personal experiences need to be passed on so others can possibly learn.

    • BakingBread-101 profile image

      BakingBread-101 5 years ago from Nevada

      Children are never "given up" for adoption. They are placed for adoption. I sincerely doubt any woman who has gone through pregnancy, birth, and the decision to place her child (even if it is forced) has "given up" her child. That child, I'm sure, will always remain in her heart.

      I tell my daughter that she grew in another Mother's tummy but she grew in my heart. Then after she came home to me she stayed in the other Mother's heart while I became her forever Mommy. My daughter tells me that before she found me she was looking for a Mommy and a Daddy and a sister (but no brothers because boys are icky), but she's glad she found me and that we adopted each other!

      I only hope and pray she feels that way when she becomes a teenager!

      From an adoptive single Mom to you, great hub Billybuc!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Baking, that was lovely, and I'm so happy that you adopted. It is a subject that is near and dear to my heart and I appreciate you reaching out with your message.

    • anndavis25 profile image

      anndavis25 5 years ago from Clearwater, Fl.

      I just saw this on a weekly news about hub nuggets. And I thought...Gosh, that's billybuc! I just made friends with him....wow.

      Did you say your were blind? That can't be. You just described the yellowstone park.

      I really liked this hub. A spiritual sweetness in it.

      Did you ever find your birth mom?

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ann, I was blind until nine months of age so yes, I have seen Yellowstone. No, I never looked for my birth mother; I always figured she had a reason for giving me up for adoption and I respected that; now I'm more curious than I was when I was younger but I doubt I'll ever look for her. Thank you for your comment and I appreciate you reading along and finding spiritual sweetness in it.

    • Chloe Castro profile image

      Chloe Castro 5 years ago

      Billy Buc - what a beautiful hub - any mother who reads this will be comforted in the decision she made. God bless you, and your family.

    • elayne001 profile image

      Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

      I am so glad I decided to read your hub. You have shared from your heart and it is felt thru your words. My sister adopted three abused children. She knows all of their biological parents. Sometimes it is better not to know who gave birth to you, but I can understand your feeling grateful just to be alive. Wonderful hub.

    • SimpleGiftsofLove profile image

      SimpleGiftsofLove 5 years ago from Colorado

      Beautiful hub Billy Buc. Being a birth mom, I am sure that she is in heaven rejoicing over what a great heart you have. I wish you the best in life and love, as I did my own.

    • Beata Stasak profile image

      Beata Stasak 5 years ago from Western Australia

      This piece was 'crafted by your heart', congratulation to your nomination, well deserved:)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Chloe, thank you so much! Your words warm my heart. God bless you as well.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      elayne, life is a wondrous gift; how could I not be appreciative. Thank you from the bottom of this old heart.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      SimpleGiftsofLove...what a wonderful hub name you have. Thank you for your words and I wish you happiness as well, a life filled with love.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Beata, I appreciate it. I do write from the heart in hopes that my words can somehow help someone else.

    • EyesStraightAhead profile image

      Shell Vera 5 years ago from Connecticut, USA

      Congratulations on your win! I imagine it feels great to write such a heartwarming story that can help others AND win an award for it. Keep writing!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Awww, thank you Eyes...it did feel good, being judged by other writers for my work. My family has to like my writing but when strangers do...yes, that feels good. Thank you for your support!

    • Melovy profile image

      Yvonne Spence 5 years ago from UK

      Congratulations on winning a hub nugget. This is a lovely piece, I particularly like the compassion and understanding you show for your birth mother. How can we ever know what leads a person to make the decisions they do? Blame helps no one, certainly not the one doing the blaming, and your letter shows so clearly that compassion heals.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Melovy, as usual I appreciate you and your comments. I certainly have no right to blame anyone for their decisions. I'm sure she did what she felt was right at the time and that's all any of us can do.

    • Shell-Belle profile image

      Shell-Belle 5 years ago from Mesa

      Beautiful letter! Thank you for sharing. Voted up and beautiful.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Shell, I thank you! This one came from the heart and that made it easy to write.

    • Martins Fraulein profile image

      Martins Fraulein 5 years ago

      Serendipity - an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.

      maybe this wasn't an accident, maybe it was fate, you weren't supposed to meet your mother,. maybe you were to supposed to live life as a free spirit, open your heart to other things.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Martins, maybe indeed that was the case. I know only that my life turned out very well and I regret nothing because to do so is to invalidate all that has come before. Thank you for taking the time to read my hub!

    • Martins Fraulein profile image

      Martins Fraulein 5 years ago

      Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.

    • jenntyl99 profile image

      jenntyl99 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Very touching! It sounds like you had wonderful parents who helped you become the man you are today. Sometimes in life we become who we are because of the experiences we have gone through. In your case, you had a rough life early on but it did not deter you from doing great things and helping others. Thanks for sharing!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I believe that completely Belen! :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you jennty, and you are right, I did have wonderful parents who supported me and loved me and really showed me the way. I got sidetracked for awhile but never forgot their lessons of love.

    • LisaMarie724 profile image

      Lisa Stover 5 years ago from Pittsburgh PA

      I cried while reading this and admire you for writing this. Your parents sound like saints and your birth mother did a wonderful thing by placing you in their lives. I also want to say congrats on being sober and I hope all the best things in life find their way to you.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LisaMarie, I always hate making a woman cry but in this case I guess it's okay. :) Thank you for your kind comments and I wish the best in life for you as well.

    • Martins Fraulein profile image

      Martins Fraulein 5 years ago

      she gave you life, you were adopted, you lived a happy life, and most of all, you've become an amazing writer. destiny happens :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Belen, you are so right...it all worked out and I love happy endings. Thank you my dear for following faithfully.

    • Nare Anthony profile image

      Nare Gevorgyan 5 years ago

      This is just so beautiful. If your Mom could read this I think she would feel happy to have you in this life, but she would also feel such deep sorrow and regret for the circumstances having gone that way. You have such a unique way of treating things...

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Nare, first of all thank you. I don't remember seeing your name pop up before and I appreciate all of my followers. Thank you so much for your kind words; it's been a long life, at times fairly difficult, but I wouldn't trade it for any other. Thank you!

    • jaybos profile image

      jaybos 5 years ago from Utah

      Your letter reminds me of one of my favorite quotes: "Stories make us more human." This story of yours reminds us of how human we all are.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jaybos, I love that quote and it is why I write...the human experience that we all understand so well. I appreciate the kind words and thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment.

    • beadreamer247 profile image

      beadreamer247 5 years ago from Zephyrhills, FL

      Hi, I am glad that you see no bad in your birth mother. I have been through a couple of hubs suggesting adoption instead of abortion. While I don't feel good about abortion, I don't think in a situation where a mother has to make the decision between abortion or adoption - there is a fine line and nobody can judge it, unless they have been there in that exact situation.

      I don't believe for a minute that it is easy for a mother to give their child that they carried in their womb for 9 months, away and just move on with their lives. We hear stories all the time from mothers searching for the child they had to give away for all kind of reasons. So, they are obviously never free of the painful decision they had to make once.

      There are cases where adopted children are being abused by their adoptive parents, just read one the other day again, where he had 3 adopted children and one pending - the kids under sexual abuse.

      I am always glad when I hear of those parents who really accept the adopted child with love, like yours did!

      Even though you moved from one home to another at very young age - not sure, but I suspect it was a plus for you not being older, yet. The more you experience consciously the more it affects you and your life - you were spared.

      But I also understand that you still keep thinking about your birth mother. There might be some curiosity for you to wonder what she is like, what she looks like. Ever wondered about your biological father?

      And I think that is natural, but you have accepted it as a part that you have no influence on and worked hard on yourself all those years through good and bad.

      You did well and you will do well.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Beadreamer...thank you for taking the time to read my hub and the detailed comment. To answer your question I have given very little thought about my birth father and I would not be able to give you a good answer why not. Being adopted was in the background for most of my life; I had a wonderful childhood and always considered my adopted parents to be the only real parents I had. As I grew older there was curiosity but obviously not enough for me to do any real search; I always felt that my birth parents had their reasons and at least for me it turned out to be a good decision. Thank you for the in-depth observations.

    • Owais Siddiqui profile image

      Owais Siddiqui 5 years ago

      @Billybuc I think you were raised by great parents. This letter says nothing to your biological mother but is an instant tribute to the ones who raised you to be such a sensible person. Hats off to them, May they rest in peace.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Owais, you are of course correct. They were incredible to me and I love them daily even though they are gone. Thank you for your beautiful insight.

    • moonfairy profile image

      moonfairy 5 years ago

      billybuc, this hub leaves me speechless. I didn't know what to expect when I began to read it. You always seem to enlighten,inspire and leave me in awe. Your birth mother would indeed be proud of you. Your adoptive family were as blessed to have you as you were to have them. Thanks so much for sharing.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Moonfairy, I greatly appreciate you visiting and your words are uplifing. I love happy endings and I am indeed a happy ending. Life finds a way of sorting things out in time. Thank you so much!

    • moonfairy profile image

      moonfairy 5 years ago

      no. Thank YOU billybuc. You ARE a happy ending and I am sincerely happy for you. You have touched my soul with your journey and I applaud you.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Moonfairy; I am honored by your words. Have a wonderful weekend!

    • eolikes profile image

      eolikes 5 years ago from Bangladesh

      beautiful.. U r the real hero.. I LOVE UR HUBS

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Eolikes, thank you for your kind words. It makes me happy to know others out there like what I write. Have a lovely day!

    • aethelthryth profile image

      aethelthryth 5 years ago from American Southwest

      It is encouraging reading your story. I know some parents who adopted children and poured their hearts and lives out for them and then were rejected (not by the children seeking out the birth parents, just escaping into what appeared to be the excitement of life on one's own, but the excitement is already turning into pain). It is encouraging to think that even if it takes decades, the children's life might smooth out and be happier as your seems to be, and the parents may yet experience the understanding and appreciation you show for your parents.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Aethelthryth, this is truly a happy ending but in fact I have never had anything to be unhappy about regarding adoption. I am a living, breathing billboard for the benefits of adoption. Thank you for your lovely comment.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      Oh wow Billy I thought those comments were never going to end;however I was hardly surprised;a hub right from your heart and truly beautiful also.

      Before reading this I composed another in my Cherokee series and strangley it was also along these lines;it must be telepathy.

      As Sunshine Ray receives a letter also which upsets her for a little while.

      Now she had great decisions to be made;very important decisions too; and what should she do.??

      I loved this one take care and enjoy your day.

      Eddy.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Eddy, your Cherokee series amazes me. How do you know so much about them? how do you manage to capture their spirit so well? You are a marvel and I look up to you as someone who has taken her craft to a different level through hard work and perseverance. I'm proud to call you a friend. I was pleased with this hub; it felt right after I had finished it and I was quite happy with the response. Anyway, have a day to be proud of my friend.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      Oh Billy;you are certainly doing my self confidence the world of good. Ha ha !!

      How do I capture their spirits???

      My interest began about two months ago when I awoke really early one morning and out of nowhere wanted to research and hopefully write about these wonderful people.

      My first chapter was what I had learnt from the research and then slowly but surely my own mind took over and there were words and feelings pouring out and I didn't try to stop them.

      Then came the moment when I pressed the publish now link I was a little nervous as to what others would say.

      I needn't have wooried because everyone seemed to enjoy them.

      Also many who had strong connections with these people noted the connection;so for the second chapter a little more of me showed and I now know that I do have a connection with the Cherokees.

      I am not too sure how or why but I just accept it and am enjoying myself so as I create them.

      It may stem from Earth's Mother's strong message.

      As a child I spent so much time with my Beagle Lassie in the fields way up high or in the Commins(Woodland)to escape the abuse at home.

      I have learnt so much all through my life from places such as this .

      I also know what you mean about feeling that the hub is right;if this happens I delay publishing and come back another day or week when it may freely flow!!!

      A true gem here Billy and take care my friend.

      Eddy.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Eddy, you had the Commins and I had Mt. Rainier. That was my place of escape and sanity, but whereas you were running from abuse I was running from myself. I never did win that race. :) Thank you for telling me about the process in writing those hubs. The older I get the more Native American I become. :)

    • christollesseb profile image

      christollesseb 5 years ago from UK ME ASIA

      Dear billybuc,

      Thanks for touching my soul - I was also adopted as a baby and had a marvelous set of parents. I also wondered about my origins and the circumstances. You have opened up my mind onto a higher plane by your loving letter. It is the middle of the night and for some reason I couldn't sleep. Now a fountain of tears have washed away my tensions and I feel light and ready to sleep sweet dreams. Will surely read more of your Hubs. Cheers, Christo.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Christo, your comments are the reason why I write. Thank you sir and I will visit your site soon. I greatly appreciate your words and I am so very happy that my words touched you.

      Peace to you my friend!

      bill

    • Spirit Whisperer profile image

      Xavier Nathan 5 years ago from Isle of Man

      The toughest cases I have had to deal with in my private practice have always been to do with abandonment. Regardless of the reasons behind why a parent gives up a child the child feels it subconsciously and this feeling touches every aspect of the child's development. In adulthood every relationship is influenced by that initial separation and each time they push a loved one away they are not consciously aware of why they do this to themselves. Thank you for sharing Bill.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Xavier, that is very interesting to know. I suspected as much but had not heard a professional endorse my feelings. Thank you for sharing that and of course for you constant support.

    • Spirit Whisperer profile image

      Xavier Nathan 5 years ago from Isle of Man

      You can understand why so many who have been abandoned as children resort to alcohol and drugs to anesthetize these very powerful feelings. The operative word here is feelings and in my experience it is only in dealing with these repressions at the subconscious level that the person ever experiences real and permanent relief and freedom from their all encompassing influence on their lives.

      BTW I have also sent your details to another professional Noel McDermott ( @NoelMcDermott on Twitter) who is someone who specializes in addiction in England asking him to share your stories too.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You are a kind man Xavier; if I can ever reciprocate for you please let me know and it is done.

      On a personal note, it took me a very long time to realize that it just doesn't matter. I could use that as a crutch if I wanted to or I could choose to be happy. I fervently hope that through your work others do not have to wait as long as I did to cope with these issues and feelings.

    • karmicfilly profile image

      karmicfilly 5 years ago from Franklin, TN

      Beautifully written and a wonderful perspective. So many times I wished I were given up for adoption as I came from a cruel abusive family. We all have paths for a reason and I accept mine and have grown from it. I too love the person I have become and am grateful for every second I have lived. Glad you are in a good place and able to reflect and appreciate what you now have. I too am in a similar place and grateful.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Karmicfilly! It was a letter that I needed to write and I appreciate your kind words. I also appreciate that you are in a similar place and that, my friend, is a win-win for both of us. Peace and happiness to you always.

    • Dinruq profile image

      Dinruq 5 years ago

      Thanks very much for sharing your story. It's a beautiful letter that really touches your soul.

      One day I hope to adopt regardless if I end being married or not. My only hope is to bring up a child with the warmth of a family and much love and the best level of education I can manage.

      I find the world is full of hate and greed, if I can change one child's upbringing, I feel that life would be worth it.

      Your story was inspiring :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dinruq, you are very welcome and I hope one day you do, indeed adopt; I have no doubt you will love that child and raise it properly. Best wishes to you!

    • JessicaSmetz profile image

      Just Ask Jess 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Wonderful touching hub. I hope one day to adopt.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      My best wishes to you Jessica and thank you for your nice words.

    • Tina Hope profile image

      Tina Hope 5 years ago from UK

      Very beautiful and inspiring Billy. Your hubs always touch my heart.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Tina, that makes me happy! Thank you my friend!

    • Dinruq profile image

      Dinruq 5 years ago

      Thank you for your kind words. I'm sure you were a great teacher.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Dinruq!

    • Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

      Jo_Goldsmith11 5 years ago

      My heart leaps with joy for you! because you are not bitter. You are safe and found wonderful parents to help raise you to be on the good path. You walked through the pain and now arrive a happy and centered man. I send BIG spirit hugs! :) May you always know that your birth mom will always be a part of who you are. I send you blessings and continued happiness! :) voted up for the moving and beautifully written feelings. shared on twitter to help those who seek answers that they may find them.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jo, that is so sweet of you! Thank you my friend and hopefully this hub will give some comfort to someone who is struggling with this issue.

    • TripleAMom profile image

      TripleAMom 5 years ago from Florida

      Very beautiful. Your parents, all of them, would be very proud of the person you've become.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      TripleA, thank you for those kind words. I hope you are right and I'm pretty sure you are. :)

    • snowdrops profile image

      snowdrops 5 years ago from The Second Star to the Right

      Hello..it's soo sad, i know that your mom did suffered so much for losing her baby way back. She loves you so much that she carried you for 9 months and let you live. She's a great mom. Giving you up is very hard but she has reasons.. reasons that sometimes we cannot understand but if you will just take a deeper understanding, then you will know. Everything happens for a reason. I hope your mom is still okay. you are truly a great man.

      I never seen my dad, never seen his picture..I thought he's dead, but never seen his grave.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Snowdrops, thank you and I am very grateful for my birth mother caring and loving enough to bring me into this world. I am very sorry to hear about your dad. Bless you!

    • snowdrops profile image

      snowdrops 5 years ago from The Second Star to the Right

      Some people can't see the way you see it..they just see abandonment, unloving parent. They don't care to see the positive side of everything. They're alive, they've experienced the life they deserved..

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Snowdrops, that's very true and it is a shame for sure.

    • Suhail and my dog profile image

      Suhail Zubaid aka Clark Kent 5 years ago from Mississauga, ON

      Hi Billybuc,

      This was a very touching story. Keep sharing the love and boldly go where no one has gone before. And that brave partner of yours in your picture will enable you to reach any goal you set :-)

      "Live long and prosper".

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Suhail, I couldn't agree with you more. Love your last line...and may you live long and prosper as well my friend.

    • lola oyedotun profile image

      Lola Oyedotun-Balogun 5 years ago from Calgary

      Now i want to cry..so touching...i wish you all the best in finding your mum, if she is still alive....

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Lola; I didn't mean to make you cry. :) Say hello to my relatives in Dublin!

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      This is beautiful. I was looking at the top hubs and this one is ranked up there. I loved it! Another great one!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Vicki, thank you. This is a strange one because it just had a resurgence after several months. Now it's hot, hot, hot...and I have no idea why. OH well, I'll ride the wave until it breaks. :)

    • anusujith profile image

      Anoop Aravind A 5 years ago from Nilambur, Kerala, India

      Really it's a touching hub...

    • profile image

      mikeydcarroll67 5 years ago

      Voted up! This was a good hub and totally made my day!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Anusujith, thank you so much! It was a letter I needed to write.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mikey, I'm glad I could brighten you day with my writing. That is why I write, to reach people. I appreciate your kind words.

    • Seira Girl profile image

      Lisa Tippette 5 years ago from North Carolina

      What a beautiful tribute to your birth mom AND your adoptive parents! Speaking as a birth mom myself, who gave up her son over 30 years ago, I KNOW your birth mom would be so proud of you - you're an amazing person! As birth mothers, we somehow "cease to exist" after the adoption papers are signed. Thank you for recognizing our worth through a beautifully written letter that ANY birth mom would be blessed to receive! Looking forward to reading more of your inspirational writings!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Seira, thank you so much and I am so happy that my letter had special meaning for you. I know that for many it is an agonizing decision and I wanted everyone to know that there are happy endings in those circumstances.

    • Rusti Mccollum profile image

      Ruth McCollum 5 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon

      Billy,

      this is the most amazing hub about your mom,your mom who raised you and your dad.I like how you don't judge your mom,In those days girls were put in unwed shelters until their babies were born,then they'd send the girls back to their parents and promptly put up for adoption.It was shame on a family then and a girls reputation was protected in this way by their own parents themselves.That may not be the case since you were 9 months old.Maybe she was alone and wanted so much more for you than she could give.You show no animosity and I think that makes you a fair decent ,kind Man. There are so many reasons you could blame her for.You had a good life and I believe she wanted that for you. Your mom and dad were amazing people, to give you such a loving home and taught you to be a good man.Through them, you learned love, compassion for others among other traits.Your going to make a great husband to your girl because of what they taught you.You were their son,the second they took you.Not a lot of people wanted a sick child then,even now people don't.Billy just through knowing you here I think they raised a terrific guy. I'm also positive over her years Billy, your bio mom hoped and prayed you were loved and in a good loving home.Thanks for sharing this.It's truly moving and honest.Now Billy, you can let go of your bio mom, but do it believing she wondered about you too.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rusti, you can call me Bill if you like and thank you for the kindest comment I think I have ever read. I have let go of my bio mom and all is well.

      I realize how difficult it was for many women back in the old days and I'm sure it was a horrible time for her. She did what she had to do and I respect that decision. I can't judge someone and won't judge someone I've never met and never talked to.

      There were also illegal abortions back then and she did not choose that option so I have endless things to be thankful for.

      Including your wonderful message. Thank you dear lady and my best wishes to you and your family.

    • faithbuilder23 profile image

      faithbuilder23 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Great letter!! I've been through an adoption as well. I need to write a letter to the father I never met.

    • TheLastBabyBoomer profile image

      Deborah Turner 5 years ago from Surprise Arizona

      What a beautiful, moving, amazing hub. Thank you for sharing. I loved it!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Faith; it just felt like something I needed to do.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Boomer, thank you! It was important to me and I guess that showed in the writing. I appreciate your kind words.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Naimishika, I'm sorry this made you feel sad. For me it was a celebration of life. Thank you for reading and I'm sorry for your pain and loss.

    • Rebecca E. profile image

      Rebecca E. 5 years ago from Canada

      this is such a wonderful letter. It hits home more than you know, I too am adopted, but much younger, but how brave of you... brings tears to my eyes.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Rebecca; I'm glad you liked it. If you ever want to talk about adoption drop me a line.

    • reagu profile image

      reagu 5 years ago from Los Angeles

      How wonderful. Thanks for sharing.

    • jasmith1 profile image

      Adrian Smith 5 years ago from UK

      What a beautiful letter Billy! I have tears in my eyes.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you, Reagu, for stopping by; I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jasmith, thank you for appreciating this letter. It means a lot to me.

    • NickelsWorths profile image

      NickelsWorths 5 years ago from Colorado

      That was a very endearing article. Hopefully some day she will be able to read this and know that you turned out great. It is such an advanatage to have such supportive and loving parents to help guide you though life.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Nickels, you are oh so correct. My adopted parents were simply the best. Thank you so much for your support and kind words.

    • AmyEliza profile image

      AmyEliza 5 years ago from Toronto

      Lovely post

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Amy, thank you. I appreciate your words and for stopping by.

    • profile image

      Me 5 years ago

      Thank you! I too am a birth mom . I had no choice and I continue today to suffer great loss. It never leaves me. I so love my son. Your letter gave me peace , not guilt for what was out of my control so many years ago. Your mom for sure would be proud of your letter...

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Me, there are so many reasons why women have to give up their child, and I have no doubt that they are valid reasons and there is a great deal of pain associated with the decision. I have no doubt that you did the right thing and guilt is a complete waste of time. You gave your child the best opportunity to thrive and that's an act of love.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Me, I never once said my birth mother was a nothing. She made her decision and that decision included a closed adoption where the information surrounding the adoption are locked away. I respect her wishes to keep it closed. She can open it any old time she wants and I respect that too.

      I appreciate you commenting and I hope you can find some peace in your life regarding this matter.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Me, I make no judgment about you; please don't presume to know enough about me to make a judgment about me. I respect your stance and your opinion.

      Thank you for your comments. Have a good life!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Me, I'm going to say this one more time and then you have used up your time and space on my site....I'm sorry for your pain. You have no business telling me how to live my life or what decisions to make. Nobody gave you that right and your time in the limelight here is over. Deal with your pain and your life and I will deal with mine. Unlike you I am happy; you obviously are not or you would not continue this diatribe. I am sorry that you have this much pain still after all those years.

    • Daisy Mariposa profile image

      Daisy Mariposa 5 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

      Bill,

      This is a beautiful tribute to both of your mothers. Thanks for sharing your letter with us.

      I admire your strength and your patience in responding to all the comments that have been left here.

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      Billy, you dear man. I can see by all your followers that your courage has touched so many lives. As I read this letter my own heart was touched. You have inspired others in a very special way.Once again, this is a gentle reminder of why we must never judge others. We have no idea what their lives have endured. Let us all love one another unconditionally. You are indeed a diamond.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Daisy! Those are very kind words and thank you for sharing this.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Audrey! I'm just a guy trying to find his way in the wilderness of life. Right now I seem to be on the right path. :) I appreciate your kindness.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Hi billy, now I have used up about ten tissues I just want to say what an amazing letter, and you are an awesome man too. This was beautiful.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Nell! This was a hard hub for me to write but I'm glad I did and I appreciate your kind words; sorry about the tissue!

    • profile image

      iamaudraleigh 5 years ago

      I have to say that is one of the most moving letters that I have ever read! Your words are so vital and expressed with grace. Your Mom would have been proud of you and glad you re happy now! I hope you showed this to Bev...she would be prod of you too! I am glad you expreded your feelings in such a great way! Voted up for miles :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Audra! Coming from you that means a great deal to me. It was an important letter for me and I'm so happy that others have given their support.

    • profile image

      anthony wallace 5 years ago

      check out my book coming soon. it is called letters to know where an adoption st.ory

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Anthony, thank you for stopping by but please note that HubPages discourages mentioning or promoting your own work in comments.

    • profile image

      Jemma 4 years ago

      I am a birthmother, only 21 and was forced into giving my son up for adoption, by his dad,4 years ago when I was just 17. It was a case where none of our families knew and shrouded in secrecy.

      Since then I have lived with a heavy heart and my relationship failed, but seeing it from your perspective and just how well your adoptive parents have raised you has really made me come out of my state of self-pity and think of the wonderful life he is having that I could not of gave him.

      This is the first time i have searched for anything like this and to stumble across yours on the first try, I feel, was more than just a coincidence.

      Thank you for posting this, I just hope in time, that my some is as mature as you to be able to find me and ask me the very questions of which you have.

      Thanks again

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jemma, your words touch my heart! Be at peace with yourself my dear; we do the best we can in any situation. It may not seem like the best thing at the time but we can't control that sometimes and many times it works out to be best. It is time to move on and find happiness, Jemma!

      Thank you for your very kind words. I am glad you found me and I am thankful that I found you.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      We have many things in common Billybuc! I am 64 and I too was adopted. I did, however, look for my mother and found her three months after she died. My reason for looking? To tell her she did the right thing and I had a good life.

      I too was adopted by two wonderful people who had a child of their own, adopted me and then adopted another. They were truly magnificent people. My childhood was wonderful and I have continued to have a wonderful life (could that be a movie?)

      Following your philosophy I believe, we get out of life what we put into it!

      I'm reading this hub after following the link in your five month hub and I'm so glad I did.

      Voted across the board...this time though I did leave funny out.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mary, I knew I liked you for a reason. :) Nice to have another member of the adoption club! You and I were quite lucky, weren't we?

      Thank you my dear; have a wonderful week.

    • mtkomori profile image

      mtkomori 4 years ago from Yokohama, Japan

      billybuc, this brought me to tears. Although you were loved by your parents who adopted you, your birth mother was always on your mind though you never knew her. I can understand how you would want to somehow communicate with her and this prompted you to write this hub. I admire your positive attitude and your feeling of thankfulness towards your birth mother.

    • sfshine profile image

      sfshine 4 years ago from Michigan

      Very touching story. I believe, she did not have a choice at that time to keep you, because of the social situation at that time. There is no doubt that she always loved you and wished you the best.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mtkomori, thank you for your kind words. You are a very sensitive soul and that is obvious in your reaction to this hub. I greatly appreciate your kind words.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sfshine, you are most likely right. It was a time in history when quite a few women had no choice in giving up their children. Thank you for taking the time to leave such a compassionate comment.

    • snakeslane profile image

      snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

      Hello billybuc, finally made it. First off, I have to tell you I love Jackson Browne and this song is a favorite for sure.

      I am intrigued by your life story, and touched by this letter you wrote to your birth Mom.

      I wonder how you see so well, you must have state of the art technology to assist with reading and viewing Hub Pages offerings, I hope you won't mind me asking. More reason to make every word count in the writing, to include details picked up by all the senses. Regards, snakeslane

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Snake, thank you! I'm a little confused by your question; How do I see so well? See what? Please clarify and then I'll be more than happy to answer your question. Forgive an old man for his confusion! :)

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Wow, Bill! This letter took my breath away! I hope your birth mother somehow reads this. If not, God has and He loves you!

      So do I, my friend. Perhaps even more now than before. What an awesome man you are!

    • snakeslane profile image

      snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

      "They were in their twenties when they adopted a blind child who had been bounced around from one foster home to another, eight times in fact, and they gave me a home and a loving environment in which to grow and thrive." Sorry billybuc, by the way I read this, I assumed that blind child was you. Now, happy to see it's not :)

    • RichieGils profile image

      RichieGils 4 years ago

      Another beautiful Hub Bill! You've had, and continue to have a lot of love in your life. You express it well in your writing. Nice one.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Snake, I'm sorry for the confusion....yes, the blind child was me. I gained my sight shortly after my parents adopted me.

    • snakeslane profile image

      snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

      oh my gosh, thanks for letting me know, you had two back to back miracles happen, that was a rough start in life, but everything righted itself, what an amazing life story.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, thank you my dear friend. You are so kind to me! Thank you for always being so supportive. If I give back half of what you give to me then I'll at least feel like I'm in the ball game. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Richie! I appreciate those words. Where would I be without the love that has been showered on me? I hate to imagine!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you snakeslane; I consider myself very fortunate. I really appreciate your kind words and support.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Darlin', you ARE the ballgame! You keep me looking at home plate!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, I'm singing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" as I type this. :)

    • cracklingrose profile image

      cracklingrose 4 years ago from Cheshire, United Kingdom.

      To say I was moved is an understatement Bill. What a beautiful tribute to your mom and you adoptive parents, but most of all a tribute to the good heart of a man full of gratitude and love. Godbless you richly, it was a priviledge to read. Thank you XX

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Cracklingrose, thank you very much for your kind words. I am deeply touched by them.

    • twillnurse profile image

      twillnurse 4 years ago from North Carolina

      I love this, my husband is adopted. He has never looked or really spoke much on this. I do not really ask. I feel if he wants to look or know more he will express it. All he knows is his mom was 16 and unwed his parents that adopted him are older than mine. But they adopted him due to they tried and could not have kids, and lo and behold a few months after they did adopt him lol they got pregnant so they got the best of both worlds. Two sons right together almost. They love each other and are so similar. His parents treat him no different and never have. Although at times I feel they still even at his age of 41 focus a lot on my husband vs their real son. Just in conversations listening and watching. I have not pointed it out to them however but only to my husband. But I do wish some people would put their kids up for adoption the way some parents are now a days Others want kids can not have them.and I know would give them all the love in the world.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Twill, I am grateful for you personal comment and for sharing that information. Thank you for taking the time to visit my site.

    • profile image

      oceansider 4 years ago

      Hi billybuc,

      I enjoyed reading your letter to your birth mother so much!

      It was great that you were adopted by such a loving couple, who raised you and took such good care of you!..I was especially touched when you thanked your birth mom for carrying you for 9 months, and not having an abortion. I am sure that your birth mother loved you very much! Thank you for sharing this letter with us all.

      Take care,

      Helen

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Helen, thank you so much! It was a very personal letter to write and I can't believe how much love I have received in comments. I really appreciate your kind words.

    • Rhoda Talisaysay profile image

      Rhoda Talisaysay 4 years ago from Philippines

      I left my account for awhile and just come back today to submit a new hub but I can't finish it this time so I checked something to read and I got yours and felt to share my thoughts with you too. "To be a MOM is a tremendous thing. I read in yahoo news a few weeks ago that a young Mom choked his baby to death in insanity. She left her husband and stayed at her cousin with the baby. You can guess whatever... was happening. But I can guess the pain she went through.

      I am a separated mom for 7 years now. I got the courage to gather all my five children even in uncertainty and still hurting. The best part of being a woman is motherhood and giving you up for adoption is the most painful thing a mom would resort. Your Mom could be one of the most broken mothers in the whole world. Maybe you are more lucky than her but who knows really but there is one thing I am very sure: that your son is lucky having a father such as you.

    • harrisfamilylaw profile image

      harrisfamilylaw 4 years ago from Denver, CO

      It's very touching, and despite the trials you've been through, you still managed to be strong and grew up to be a great person you are right now. This is why we're also helping kids out there with adoption cases and helping them cope. You are an inspiration. Adoption is not a hindrance/excuse in what you become.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rhoda, yes, there are many unknowns and always will be regarding some adoptions. I thank you for your kind words. My life has been a gift and it's because of my birth mother.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Harris, no, adoption should never be an excuse or hindrance. For me it was a gift that keeps on giving. Thank you for stopping by and your great comment.

    • harrisfamilylaw profile image

      harrisfamilylaw 4 years ago from Denver, CO

      Hi Billy, exactly, adoption is never an excuse for what a person becomes. Thank you for inspiring everyone. Hope to hear more great stories from you soon.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Harris! It's very nice to have you visiting.

    • cherrycrime26 profile image

      January Moon 4 years ago from NY, Now Living in Atlanta Ga

      This is such a heart felt hub, great story about your life, you are agreat writer, you really captivated your audience with your words :-)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Cherry, thank you very much! I really appreciate you saying that.

    • Nora411 profile image

      Nora411 4 years ago from Chicago, IL

      Wow, you seem like an amazing person. This was so personal, thank you for sharing your story.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Nora, thank you so much for your kind words. I've lived a full life and tried to learn from it as I go. I appreciate you stopping by again.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      And Nora, welcome to HubPages. If I can be of any help or answer any questions feel free to drop me a line.

    • Nora411 profile image

      Nora411 4 years ago from Chicago, IL

      Thank you so much Billy! I really appreciate that, I will difinetly take you up on that offer! Im sure I can learn a lot from a talented writer like you!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Nora, the offer is always open. Others helped me and now I need to re-pay the favor.

    • ishwaryaa22 profile image

      Ishwaryaa Dhandapani 4 years ago from Chennai, India

      After reading this letter full of love and gratitude, I am deeply touched. I am very sure that your birth mother would be very proud of you. I learnt a lot from your personal story. I am happy that lately your life turned out beautifully - you have your beloved son Tyler, your Princess Charming, Bev and now engaged in your passion - writing which you succeeded so much. A beautiful tribute to your birth mother as well as your adopted parents who molded you into a wonderful person. I salute you. Well-done!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ishwaryaa, that was so very sweet of you to write that. Thank you so much; I have a big smile on my face right now because of you.

    • profile image

      ccrook 4 years ago

      Hi Bill...I especially love your letter to your Birth Mom as I am a Birth Mom too. I recently met my daughter who I made the very very difficult decision to give up for adoption thru a private SDA Adoption Agency out of Pasco, WA back in 1977. We communicated for 4 mths before meeting, was a nervous wreck, very emotional inside but did have a very brief breakdown, cry-tears when I opened the beautiful album she made for me of her birth to approx 9 yrs old..I treasure this gift (met 1 wk before Christmas) as she put her time in creating this album for me. I did not want to give her up but felt best for HER..I wanted her to have more instead of less and not just financially...I prayed all the time that God keep her safe, is with a loving, caring, supportive family...she was. I prayed that God allow me to meet my daughter at least one time before I die..I just couldn't leave this world not knowing she was healthy & happy; that she was treated well..that I did make the best decision for her...I did. I'm so thankful for this Blessing.. We communicate still..trying to take it slowly as I'm a stranger to her..in her head I am her Birthmother but in her heart...I'm a stranger..well now that we met, I'm an Acquaintance...so with time and patience..& more prayers..we will build a relationship of whatever she is comfortable with..even if just friends..good friends. I give thanks to her parents, her Adoptive parents-family, for loving my baby girl, giving her the life I could not..the life my daughter deserved. She is their "daughter"...whom loves them deeply. My daughter recently emailed me with exciting news that she & her husband are expecting, a baby boy, in Oct..2012 just 4 days before my birthday...I am his "Birth Grandmother".. I don't know what or if any involvement w/her pregnancy or after his birth...as her "Adoptive" parents are and w/be his Grandparents. However there are many "genetics" involved..because it's one thing for her curiosity of meeting her birthmother-father; medical history, family tree but now it literally extends to her future family. Her son may very well not look at all like or very little her husband, grandson's daddy or his side of family..which means he'll take after my side or her Birth Father or his side...so however she wants information, relationship &/or connection of her son w/us..will be welcome and on her terms. I for sure would love to be part of all this and future..even if just a "friend"..but with Birth Grandchildren now into the mix...it brings it all to a different place in my and my daughter's connection and future. I'm not sure how to approach her with any of this as I don't want to seem I'm pushing or override her Adoptive Mother...but maybe I should not do anything..just let things fall as they are meant to be....So again, thank you so much for sharing such a very touching account of your life & how you could take some sadness, adversity and realize beyond..those bumps in your early life is what lead you to your loving family...God certainly watched over you. God Bless You....

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      ccrook, thank you for that beautiful comment and for sharing a very personal piece of your past. Your comment gives hope to many birth mothers who for whatever reason had to give up their child at birth. I am so happy for you that you found your daughter. I greatly appreciate you sharing your story; it should give strength and hope to others.

    • ashish04joshi profile image

      Ashish Joshi 4 years ago from India

      My eyes are drenched as I write this and I'm having to twitch my lids often to see the keyboard clearly...This is one of the most beautifully innocent pieces of writings I've ever had the pleasure to read.

      And I must tell you that my respect for you had grown manifold by this time.

      And how many of us really think that way? Not to blame and instead understand the reasons she must have had...is something only a man of of mettle and character can even try.

      I'm honored to know you and wish to learn even more from you. Not about HubPages, but about life.

      Regards.

      Needless to say, all the vote buttons, and shared of course!!!

    • Lastheart profile image

      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 4 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      Whoever has blood running through their veins will cry with this hub. These are words every mother would love to hear. God is proud of you and your mother also. Blessings!

    • Froggy213 profile image

      Greg Boudonck 4 years ago from On A Mountain In Puerto Rico

      Billy, thanks for that--thanks

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ashish, you are a good man...I like people who are emotional and find joy in human experiences. Thank you for your kindness and your following.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lastheart, I really do appreciate your kind words. God bless every mother and thank you my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Froggy, my pleasure completely! Thank you so much!

    • Mrs Jil Manning profile image

      Mrs Jil Manning 4 years ago from Sussex, England

      I love this hub. I am adopted too, and I am still searching for my birth mother, to thank her for the gift of my life, and to hope that my birth did not cost her a happy life. I have wonderful supportive friends and family, but only people like you truly understand. Thank you for sharing your story, and making me feel less alone.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jil, you are very welcome! I'm glad you could relate and best of luck finding your birth mother.

    • Mrs Jil Manning profile image

      Mrs Jil Manning 4 years ago from Sussex, England

      thank you billybuc!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jil, you are very welcome!

    • landscapeartist profile image

      Roberta McIlroy 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Thank you for sharing this letter. I feel so privileged and blessed to have been able to read your touching letter to your birth mother. It brings every emotion I have to the surface, and makes me want to hold tighter unto my own mom. Take care and enjoy life!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Landscapeartist....thank you for visiting. I don't remember seeing you here before so welcome to my neighborhood. :) Thank you for the kind words; this hub touched quite a few people, and the comments have both humbled me and filled me with happiness. Yours included!

    • dwachira profile image

      [ Danson Wachira ] 4 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      I'm so touched by this billybuc, i hope you feel better about it now. Thanks for sharing this with us.

    • landscapeartist profile image

      Roberta McIlroy 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Your very welcome. I have been on here for a few months now. I wish I had found this site sooner. It has helped me heal some and learn a lot.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      Stopped back to tell you this hub is currently listed on the Hot Hubs Top Ten! The Hot List is a lot like Hub Scores, it fluctuates for no apparent reason but as of this minute this hub is on the list! (I didn't even know about the list until phdast told me.)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      dwachira, thank you and I feel great about writing this. It has helped others and that is a bonus.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      landscapeartist, I'm glad to hear that. Best wishes for the rest of your journey.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mary, it took me several months before I knew that list existed. Then I couldn't figure out why some hubs were on it. But thank you for the heads up; this hub has legs...it keeps doing well five months after I wrote it.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      Just got to read this one, Bill. Glad you posted it on FB so that I caught it today. It's very touching and has me in tears. This should hit the heart of those who need to hear how much taking someone in your home and heart can only help others. Great video and filled with so much truth, thanks for sharing your personal story.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 4 years ago from London, UK

      Beautiful Hub of Love.

      You're an Angel.

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Oh Bill, this is beautiful. I am really touched by your words and you have so much family here at HubPages xx

    • poojasd7 profile image

      poojasd7 4 years ago from India

      so cute. :-)

      I am so touched by this. A pat on your back for being such an understanding person.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dianna, my personal story is worthless if it isn't shared. Thank you for your kind words and your continued friendship. Let's sit down some day as friends and enjoy each other's company in person.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Elena, thank you my dear; I happen to feel the same way about you. :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Christy, you have to be in the top ten of nice people on HubPages. Thank you so much for reading this work of mine; it was an important piece for me and I am humbled by the response to it.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Pooja, thank you for the pat on the back. Very much appreciated.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      Bill, it would be my pleasure and honor to sit and chat sometime on our life journey. Blessings and PIPO to you!!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dianna, it's a date. :) PIPO to you my friend!

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      I read this and thought of my dad for a moment, not because he was adopted, but because coincidentally you're a year and day older than him and pretty much from the same generation. As I read though, I am amazed at how much love you have for your birth mom and what a wonderful journey you had with your adopted parents over the years. I really do enjoy reading your articles and this one was no exception to the rule. All I can say is thank you yet again for sharing a bit more of yourself on here. I, in turn, have shared and voted up yet again.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Janine, thank you so much! I have been a lucky man, gifted with love throughout my years. The good stories need to be written about, and mine is a good story. :)

    • elle64 profile image

      elle64 4 years ago from Scandinavia

      You were chosen to live with your parents- and i think your mum gave you up for good reasons. But you touched my heart- you write so well.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you elle...I truly appreciate your kind words and I couldn't ask for better parents.

    • T4an profile image

      T4an 4 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

      Billy this is such a beautiful tribute to both of your Moms. You are a gifted writer with a heart of gold. Voted up!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      T4an, those are very kind words. I truly appreciate your heartfelt words; in fact, they humble me. Thank you!

    • T4an profile image

      T4an 4 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

      I only speak the truth. :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you T4an!

    • B Lucy profile image

      B Lucy 4 years ago from Podunk, Virginia

      Tears are flowing . . .

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Awww...I guess that's good, right? Thank you for the visit, B. Lucy! :)

    • B Lucy profile image

      B Lucy 4 years ago from Podunk, Virginia

      Yes . . a very good thing. You're an inspiration!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you B!

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image

      Kathleen Cochran 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Life is sure full of surprises. Amazing about your son's birth mother finding him through your writing. If you never wrote another word, that would be worth it all.

      Wish we'd had your contribution on The Journey. You would have added a great deal.

      Just saw the movie "People Like Us" and it deals with some of these issues. My husband had a wonderful Father and cried at the end. My birth Father basically abandoned us and I left the movie somewhat angry. Hard to explain. Your story is fascinating and well-written. Thanks.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kathleen, you have spoken true words....all of my writing is worth it because of my son finding his mother.

      Thanks for the share about the movie; interesting reactions.

    • glorgeousmom profile image

      Glo L Bernadas 4 years ago from Philippines

      Very touching and inspiring. You are blessed with an attitude of gratitude because you are still very thankful despite of all the initial hardships you've been through from being separated from your biological mother. It is really true that nothing happens without a noble purpose and only God knows why. Thank you for sharing your story. May it become a vessel of inspiration to others who've been adopted who harbor bitterness in their heart and inspire them to forgive and let go. God bless you more.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Glorgeiousmom, that was very kind of you and I thank you! Life is so much easier when I just turn everything over to God and not try to run the show. Once I accept that everything happens for a reason then everything makes sense...I know you understand that.

      Thank you so much; I'm glad I'm following you now as you seem like a very nice lady.

    • Thelma Alberts profile image

      Thelma Alberts 4 years ago from Germany

      What shall I say...It is a very emotional letter to your birth mother. You are very brave to write this letter and making a video to tell the people out there around the world without tears in your eyes about your life, is awesome to me. I do respect how you think about writing a letter to your unknown mother. I do respect your adopted parents too, as they took care and love you so much and how lucky you are to have them in your life. I wonder if your birth mother knows about you and how great you become.

      Billy, thanks for sharing this to us. Have a great day! Take care.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thelma, thank you very much. My adopted parents are both dead now; they were wonderful parents and I miss them greatly. I appreciate your kind remarks so much!

    • Escobana profile image

      Escobana 4 years ago from Valencia

      Hi there!

      Linked your Hub to mine because it´s such a beautiful Hub! I remember while reading it, I wanted to write my own Hub in a different way but with the same loving tone.

      I saw you found mine recently. Thanks for stopping by and hope you´ll appreciate the link:-)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I do appreciate the link my friend and I will reciprocate shortly. Thank you!

    • profile image

      assert1958 4 years ago

      BEAUTIFUL! My twin and I were adopted by the greatest parents. Great life. I found my birthfamily in 2007 thru much searching. My Bio parents gave up 7 babies at birth, they had both already passed. Found my siblings all but. One. We have a reunion couple times a year as we are all spread out. We love each other dearly. The stories are long so I will leave it at that. BLESS YOU. I LOVE THIS HUB.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Assert, that is a happy ending for your story. I still have never tried to track down my birth family; maybe some day, although I'm running out of years to say that. :) Thank you for your kind comment and I'm happy for you.

    • Escobana profile image

      Escobana 4 years ago from Valencia

      Hi Billy!

      Just noticed the link of my own Hub:-) I greatly appreciate your generous gesture! Have a wonderful and sunny day:-)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Escobana, my pleasure. I'm glad you found it!

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 4 years ago from Taos, NM

      Beautiful hub an what a journey! All's well that ends well! You are a fine adjusted person for all your experiences. Congratulations on your Hubbie Award for this hub and for being the most supportive hubber. You certainly deserved both awards. This letter is so endearing and touching and really pulls at my heartstrings. All the best!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Awww, suzetten, thank you! I felt good about winning with this hub; it was very personal and it just felt right at the time. I appreciate your kind words and your continued support.

    • sen.sush23 profile image

      Sushmita 4 years ago from Kolkata, India

      Billy, sometimes I think, it is a better option to abort when you do not want to go through the process of bringing and bearing the responsibility of another human being. As I come from a third world country, where population density is a problem and huge social-economic setback, a tendency to look upon child birth only with love and assured nurture seems logical. But you are so correct. Life in itself is a gift. The situation is alien to me, of which you write, but so touching and I can feel the deep treble of little pain, lot of love and joy. Awesome is all I can say. I must thank Deborah for I got directed to this from her hub.

    • vespawoolf profile image

      vespawoolf 4 years ago from Peru, South America

      This is a moving history of your life and very motivational! You did a great job on the video as well. My husband was adopted by his stepfather and never recognized by his biological father. He doesn't look back, though, and loves his father dearly. I think it's important not to look back and count our blessings everyday. Congratulations on no less than two Hubbie awards! This certainly is the Most Beautiful Hub, and you are the most supportive hubber!

    • sen.sush23 profile image

      Sushmita 4 years ago from Kolkata, India

      Vespa, I agree to what you say about the appropriateness of the two awards for Bill, and I must also add that he is also as I feel, the most 'consistently good humored hubber'! Love every bit of your work, Billybuc :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sen.Sush23, thank you so much, and I must remember to thank Deborah as well. I cannot imagine life in a third world country, so it is difficult for me to speak of such matters where you are. I certainly understand what you are saying on a purely logical basis.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Vespa, thank you so much! It may surprise you to know that I think I don't do enough in supporting others. Time makes it so difficult to read the hubs of my supporters....over 100 daily...but I still feel bad that I might be leaving someone out.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      SenSush, thank you again! It was been a deeply moving experience on HubPages and I have enjoyed it greatly.

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 4 years ago from Florida

      First of all : Congratulations! You certainly deserved the awards! I truly believe everything in life happens for a reason. I think "The Big Man Upstairs" controls everything. I adopted two of my grandchildren (the ones you see in my avatar) for different reasons than you had for being adopted. They have added so much joy to my life; they make me feel worthwhile and loved.

      You are certainly loved and respected in Hubland. I am one of your admirers for sure! My best, Mary

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Big congratulations on your awards, Bill! How did I miss that???? Is it another peril of being waaaaaaay behind in reading my Hubmail? I do apologize my friend. You earned both, without a doubt and you earn the Most Supportive Hubber daily!

      Love Ya!

      Sha

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mary, thank you very much! I try to be a good friend here....and everywhere. It is the way I was raised, and now that I am older, it is the way I believe in.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hey Sha, thank you! To be honest, I'm not sure they announced them to all the Hubbers. Maybe they will in the weekly newsletter....there was no email for sure. I found out on Facebook! Anyway, you know I love you and appreciate your friendship so much.

    • Happyboomernurse profile image

      Gail Sobotkin 4 years ago from South Carolina

      Oh my, this is such a touching and wonderful letter- as much a testament to your adoptive parents as it is a tribute to your birth mother.

      And the PS at the end was an unexpected bonus, proof that your writing is having a real impact on others and how cool that two of those others are your own son and his birth mother.

      Yes, miracles do happen, especially when we open up our hearts and meet the world each day with passion and love.

      I missed this hub earlier, but came tonight to wish you congratulations on your Hubbie Awards. Am so glad those awards brought this outstanding hub to my attention.

      You are an incredibly gifted writer and I'm so proud to be one of your followers.

      Hub Hugs,

      Gail

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Gail, I thank you sincerely; your words have touched me. This was an important hub to me; it has a great deal of me in it. The reaction to it has warmed my heart in ways few would understand. I fight myself on my writing; you say I am gifted; I see the little kid who has to work harder in order to get it right. Sigh!

      You are a dear hub friend and I thank you!

      sending love from Olympia,

      bill

    • glassvisage profile image

      glassvisage 4 years ago from Northern California

      Wow, I'm surprised I haven't found this Hub until now. A lot of the things that you describe in your letter are what I think about myself as an adopted child. It was great to learn more about you and I am happy that your life has been so wonderful so far - with more to come!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      glassvisage, with more to come for sure....thank you and I am happy if this letter helped you in any way.

    • rahul0324 profile image

      Jessee R 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

      Well I am happy Sir Bill that you were found by the right people and grew up to be a mentor and support for many like me...

      A touching letter.... a memoir worth preserving...

      As we speak... numerous children around the globe face bad luck unlike me and you... I pray they find good people and stay protected

      This was a great piece Sir Bill and it moistened me...

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rahul, you are even a poet in your comments. What a wonderful sight you have for life! Thank you my young friend; you are wise beyond your years and a pleasure to know.

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 4 years ago from West Virginia

      Bill, so glad you changed your profile to the new interface because I probably wouldn't have found it. I honestly don't know where to start. You and then your son, miracles my friend. It took a lot of courage, but most of all, forgiveness to write this Bill. That takes so much more then having courage. The more I read about you, the more I see an honest, caring, and loving soul. Myself and others can learn valuable lessons from you and I am sure others have cause I know I have Bill. I know it has only been a month or so when I found your page, but in that month, you have opened up my eyes. You remind me of myself, not in your story, but your heart and soul. Once again, I am speechless.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lyric, that is high praise and I am honored and humbled. I'm just a simple guy who sees wrongs and wants to right them....and sees values and wants to shout them from the rooftops. Those are things I learned from some quality people and now it's my turn to pass them on. Thank you for hearing them!

    • Rfordin profile image

      Rfordin 4 years ago from Florida

      From one adoptee to another that was beautiful. I have/had a lot of the same feelings you did in regards "to searching" for my bio family. I am happy your son was reunited with his bio family and I am positive that he will only realize how good he had it growing up.

      I semi-searched for my bio family growing up because I'm to curious of a person to not know or see things that interest me. I was lucky enough to find them (all 6 of them, parents, and 4 siblings) living realitivly close to me. We have an aqquatiance type relationship now but I'm glad I was able to meet my bio siblings more than anything.

      As always bill, interesting read. Thanks for sharing all your adoption stories!

      ~Becky

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Becky, thank you for sharing part of your story with me. I appreciate hearing what has happened to others who walked my path. Have a wonderful weekend and I send happiness your way.

    • Super Lux profile image

      Super Lux 4 years ago from Singapore

      beautiful!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much Super Lux!

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Bill, very touching and a very moving account. This account speaks volumes about the love you have for your mother since it is with untold pain that a mother can separate from her child. She must have had very strong reasons for it.

      I'm all the more happy that inspite of falling into the trap of alcoholism you were able to get out of it and not only that, you were able to write about it and your other life experiences and become a beacon of hope to so many as I read from the comments in the hubs of yours. The post script is one example.

      This one quality has endeared you to me most. It's great to know you Bill and I'm honored to be your friend.

      Voted up and beautiful and sharing.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rajan, I never know what to say to such praise. Thank you seems much too little. You honor me, Sir, and I hope I continue to live up to those high standards. I am proud to be your friend, Rajan! I truly am honored and humbled.

    • travmaj profile image

      travmaj 4 years ago from australia

      Hi -compelled to write - this is so touching and says so much about the human condition. The journey we all make. A lovely tribute to your birth mum and your adoptive parents. Very inspiring and easy to see how many hearts you have touched. Thank you.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      travmaj, thank you so much! This one was somewhat of a surprise; I never expected the reaction to it that I received.

    • Georgie Lowery profile image

      Georgianna Lowery 4 years ago from Slaton, Texas USA

      Billy,

      Adoption is amazing. My mother was adopted, as was my paternal grandmother. My mother never cared to find her birth parents. My grandma Mimi knew hers and they were a part of her entire life.

      I asked my mom once why she never searched for her birth parents. She told me that she was lucky. She wasn't a kid that two people had, she was a kid that two people chose. She was happy with her adoptive parents and her adopted brother.

      Of course, there were times when I was growing up that I was convinced that my brothers were adopted from Mars. Or hatched from rotten, green eggs.

      My Mimi's birth family's name is the name I chose for my secret writing identity. They meant a lot to her, and she meant a lot to me.

      Though I often identify as a liberal, I do not believe in abortion. I wish that people who are considering that procedure could read your letter. Maybe they might make a different choice.

      I hope somewhere, some how, your birth mom can hear the beauty in your words. I'm glad you have a passion for writing, you do it so eloquently and effectively.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Georgie, you are a doll, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. I have nothing but good to say about adoption, and I am torn on abortion. I hate the government controlling human rights, but there are other options out there and I just can't abide by abortion.

      Having said all that, it sounds like you mother had the same attitude I have about abortion; I couldn't have asked for better adopted parents and it all worked out the way it should have. I have been blessed.

      Thank you my dear! Be happy and I'm sending hugs your way.

      bill

    • Relationshipc profile image

      Kari 4 years ago from Alberta, Canada

      Excellent viewpoint, Billy, on your adoption and life. I find it really cool that you adopted a son, as well. I am a big fan of adoption.

      I also thought you were still blind from the way I read it. lol. I was looking in the video thinking "Well, he doesn't look blind. And why is he wearing glasses?" lol. But you explained it well in the video. I've never heard of failure to thrive before - very interesting. Makes sense.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Relationship, you aren't the first to mention the blind thing....that leads me to believe I did not do a good job of explaining it. I'll go back and take a look and thank you for mentioning it. I appreciate you taking the time to read and leave a meaningful comment.

    • vnsatakopan profile image

      Dr.Vangeepuram Navaneetham Satakopan 4 years ago from Chennai, India

      Very interesting and touching hub. You are lucky in that people who adopted you were like real parents and you are right in praising their contribution to your present status.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      vnsatakopan, there is no doubt that I was very lucky! Thank you for the visit.

    • Cogerson profile image

      Cogerson 4 years ago from Virginia

      A very touching hub. I got a kick out of the fact that you were born days after the Indians last World Series championship. My brother was born in 1961 and is a huge Indians fan and has been waiting all these years for their next title.

      It sounds like your parents were the perfect fit for you and gave you all the love in the world. As for the birth mother....glad to see you give her kudos as well....you are so right....having an abortion would have the easy way out....but she did the right think...and just thinking about all the positive things that happened to you and all the people you have "paid it forward" is a happy thought.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Bruce, thank you! You just gave me an idea for a new hub! I am beholding to you. :)

    • Fennelseed profile image

      Annie Fenn 4 years ago from Australia

      It's a long, long way down here, but not long enough because I am still wiping away my tears. Your letter to your biological mother is one of the most beautiful pieces I have ever read, it is full of gratitude, compassion, understanding and acceptance. There is not one iota of bitterness or blame. You tenderly acknowledge the hardship and heartache your mother must of endured and every mother knows the deep inner turmoil (or the thought of) parting with a child.

      This hub most of all reveals the depth of your soul, Bill and it is the most humane, selfless and beautiful soul I know.

      I have fallen behind with HP, life unfortunatley gets in the way, but I am so glad I have read this. Thank you for sharing and congratulations on a most deserved award. My best wishes to you my friend, from Annie.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Annie, thank you my dear friend. I hope one day we can sit as friends and enjoy our company in person. This was one of the first hubs I wrote....after bombing with a couple "evergreen" hubs I found my writing voice with this one. It's amazing what happens when you write from the heart, isn't it? But then you understand that very well, and that's one reason, of many, why I respect you so much.

      You are a beautiful person, Annie, and I am so grateful to have met you.

      Be well my friend; you brought tears to my eyes with this comment.

    • Sparklea profile image

      Sparklea 4 years ago from Upstate New York

      WOW, voted UP and AWESOME! What a wonderful letter to your mom, and what a miracle that you mention at the very end to the reader! Did you write a hub about the reunion? I have checked out your Profile page which is incredible, but immediately clicked on this hub, so if you HAVE written about it, I haven't checked out your titles yet.

      You have accomplished SO MUCH in SO LITTLE time. What a role model you are! My greatest loves are reading and writing, and I am going to take your advice and focus MORE on those two things, even if it means getting up EARLIER. I am already up 5 a.m. and am willing to push it back. I could spend all day reading your remarkable hubs!

      God bless you and thank you for this inspiring and uplifting hub!

      Sparklea :) PS: CONGRATULATIONS on your accomplishments on HubPages!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Awww. thanks Lea! There is a hub about my son finding his birth mother....can't really remember what it is called...let me look.....http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/Adoption-My-Son-F... it is.

      Thank you so much my friend. This hub that you read was one of my earliest, and the most successful...people really related to it, and I am so appreciative of the comments. You are a blessing my dear.

    • Daisy Mariposa profile image

      Daisy Mariposa 4 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

      Bill,

      I very much appreciate how you wrote with your heart. I came back to read and share your beautful Hub a second time.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Daisy; this was one of my first hubs and boy, did it ever strike a chord with people. I appreciate you taking the time to stop by again.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 4 years ago from South Africa

      Billybuc, what a heart-touching letter. Oh, and how sad! ~ spending your first nine months in eight different foster homes, ending undernourished, under-nurtured and blind.

      I am actually overwhelmed, once again, by the fact that we all have bad and good memories, misfortunes and fortunes, and yet here we are today, still alive and striving, challenging Life with all the knowledge and wisdom we have acquired.

      Lots of hugs to you from me down here in South Africa!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Martie, thanks for the hugs from down under. It all worked out for the best, and because of it all I have insights into matters that might help others. For me, that makes it all worth it.

      Thank you my friend; I hope you are getting a little more sleep.

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 4 years ago from sunny Florida

      billy buc, my new friend, what a moving tribute to your birth mother and uplifting words for the parents who raised you and loved you.

      It is important to be able to give voice to our inner most feelings. It is a way to send out to the universe, if you will, something we may have carried with us, wanted to say, but never have.

      And your adopted son recently met his birth mother. That must have been one of those events that will be burned into memory. Sobriety is a wonderful thing. In 1993 I began my journey from prescription drug addiction which I wrote about in a hub about migraines. My life has been forever changed by that so I understand how you feel.

      Once again, another hub I can relate to.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      pstraubie, thank you so much! Yes, we have traveled a similar path. I am grateful to have found you and I'm also on HubPages. i firmly believe it is selfish of us to keep our experiences to ourselves; others can learn from our journey....anyway, that's my hope.

    • sweethearts2 profile image

      sweethearts2 4 years ago from Northwest Indiana

      billybuc,

      What a journey for you. A celebrated journey. A journey that has touched so many. That's a celebration as well. Your story and video brought tears not only to you but all who have read your story (with the exception of one I noted). Somewhere in all these comments and replies (which kept the tears flowing)I believe you responded incorrectly - you stated (paraphase and maybe out of context) you spent time running from yourself - and you didn't win the race. You, dear heart, are a gold medal winner. If you were running (and I think this means searching), you did win that race and now are the inspiration for all who are searching and a celebration reminder for those who ran that same race and won as well. And now you may add your are an adopteed inspirationn. iLove PIPO

    • sweethearts2 profile image

      sweethearts2 4 years ago from Northwest Indiana

      Adopted inspiration. (Ran out of screen space and couldn't see the typing - that's my story for typo's) How do others write such long comments without running out of space? Just saying.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sweethearts, what a lovely thing for you to say. Thank you...now I have tears. It has been an interesting journey for sure. Do you love life? I sure do, and I think that is incredible and amazing and oh, so worth the journey.

      Thank you again!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sweethearts, that's one of those mysteries that come with time I think...I don't know how others do it. :) Maybe I'll learn eventually.

    • girishpuri profile image

      Girish puri 4 years ago from NCR , INDIA

      What a nice and positive way to remember and pay tributes to the respected mother, i am touched, God bless you.

    • sweethearts2 profile image

      sweethearts2 4 years ago from Northwest Indiana

      I absolutely ♥ life and it's obvious you do to the max. Continue to celebrate your journey as well as those who celebrate with you. Of course, you already do celebrate all who have touched your life even if you haven't met face to face. You were a gift to your parents and are to others. You're a TIMEX MAN - I can almost guarantee you'll see the meaning. ( I hope so, or you'll think I've gone bonkers) Have a nice evening.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      And God bless you as well, girishpuri! Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sweethearts, you had me laughing on that one...yes, I know the TIMEX reference. Great line! Thank you so much; life is never boring and yes, I love life. :)

    • MargaritaEden profile image

      MargaritaEden 4 years ago from Oregon

      Wow, it takes a very special person to write something touching like this, you are amazing! I am so glad that you are looking at what happen with such a positive outlook, good for you!!! It is always easier to be negative, but you are keeping it on the bright side, that is wonderful! I know a lady, about your age, she gave her son up for adoption when she was 16, so many years later, she is still searching for him.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Margarita, you are a very nice person and I thank you! How could I be negative about the person who brought me into this world? I know others have chosen to be, but I simply don't understand that way of thinking.

      Thank you my dear; have a wonderful day!

    • vibesites profile image

      vibesites 4 years ago from United States

      Aaaaw.... how this hub tugs my heart! I almost shed a tear while reading this. Thanks for this lovely hub, I appreciate it. :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Vibesites....almost shed a tear???? I have failed miserably, then. LOL Thank you my new friend; I am always grateful for new visitors to my site. Hope to see you often.

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi Billy... what a great heartfelt letter. It touched me the way you have addressed it and the way you have lived out your life. You were dearly loved and that is a wonderful thing to know.

      As a Pastor I have been in many sessions with people who have been adopted and the stories have been hard ones. Yours my friend s one of great success in all you have done... well done

      Hugs from Canada

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rolly, few days pass that I don't feel like a Lotto winner! :) Thank you buddy; have a great weekend!

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 4 years ago from TEXAS

      Billy -- a word about 'the blind thing' - upon reading it, I, too, had wondered how you overcame it or if you did, -- till I heard the video, in which you explained that it was caused by the early 9 months of nurturing deprivation, and then cleared up soon after you were adopted by loving, nurturing parents.

      There is so much to think upon and respond to here. . . I am touched by it all, and most of all, by your gracious 'attitude of gratitude', as Zig Zigler used to call it! You've no bitterness or blame toward your birth mother, whose actions may have been fueled by much courage and genuine concern for your best interest. As you say, in that period of history, there was no 'right option', really, for a young woman in a situation which society could not accept. So she took a courageous course in electing to have you and possibly to spare you from what she could foresee as your life if she'd tried to keep and raise you herself. Parents and family may have been a huge pressure. They might even have tried to force her to have an abortion. So many unknown possibilities but all of them are, truly - as you have recognized - HERS to have dealt with and upon which to make a huge, tough decision.

      I'm so happy that your adoptive parents were so good! When I saw your name was "Holland" on the first video about Love (and I'm becoming addicted to your videos!) -- I instantly thought of "Mr. Holland's Opus" - that wonderful movie about the musician whose ambitions to become a great composer had to be set aside when his wife became pregnant - and he became a music teacher. . . - well, I won't relate the whole story but it, too, is inspirational. When I saw you have been a teacher, it just seemed to fit!

      As you may have surmised, I'm 80 and was born to rather 'old' parents; - they were born in 1890 and 1892. In their day there was a plethora of infant mortality, as well as maternal mortality. After each of their fathers' first wives had died after bearing MANY children, each of their fathers married my grandmothers, and they, my parents, were the first-born of each of those second marriages, and each of their fathers died when they were young, leaving my grandmothers widows. Some of their half-siblings had been 'farmed out' to kinfolks all over the place after their mothers died and their fathers were at a loss to take care of so many children. All of their stories were not of loving foster parents. My mother's half-sister, my Aunt Nellie, was such a child. Eventually she got an education and became a teacher, but her daughters wrote of her difficult life with the unkind kinfolks who took her in, though she just had to make the best of it.

      It is a blessing for you to have been so well loved, nurtured, and educated. And it's a blessing for us here on HP to benefit from hearing of your life.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Nellie, what a beautiful comment! Thank you my new friend!

      I am one of the lucky ones. My life, regarding adoption, has been a fairy tale; many were not so lucky. My birth mother could have easily gotten an abortion, although they weren't that common in the late 40's. She could have shuttled me off to a distant relative. For me, she chose the perfect path, and I will forever be grateful for her unselfishness.

      I loved the movie "Mr. Holland's Opus"....I was teaching when that came out and heard quite a bit about it for a couple years afterwards....the kids loved to tease me about it. My name is Bill, and right about that same time there was a cartoon where the main character said, "Oh noooo, Mr. Bill," in a high voice. The kids enjoyed doing that too. LOL

      Life is good Nellie; no complaints from this 63 yr old at all.

      Thank you again! Have a wonderful weekend.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 4 years ago from TEXAS

      You're an inspiration, Bill. Hugs.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Nellie! I am humbled by your words. Have a wonderful weekend.

    • lrc7815 profile image

      Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

      My comment will get lost among so many others but I cannot leave this page without say WOW! What a beautiful attitude and tribute to both the mother who gave you life and the parents who gave you...a life. Absolutely beautiful!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Irc, thank you my friend! There are some hubs that were just meant to be written. This one has been sitting in my brain for decades and I finally let it out.

    • lrc7815 profile image

      Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

      I understand and...am proud to call you friend. You could have chosen to be a bitter, angry person. You took the high road. You healed those wounds and conquered alcohol too. Kudos to you...my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Irc.....:) Thank you!

    • Deborah-Diane profile image

      Deborah-Diane 4 years ago from Orange County, California

      What a beautiful letter. Whether your birth mother ever sees it or not, I know that you brought comfort to many other birth mothers who felt it was necessary for them to give up a child. Thank you for sharing it with us.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Deborah....this one was obviously special to me. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

      blessings and peace to you

      bill

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 4 years ago

      Dear Billy,

      I have to tell you I am having trouble writing this as the tears are falling as this brought so many emotions. This hub touched my heart in so many ways...I wrote a letter to my birth father and at 44 years old met him and developed a relationship for the next seven years, until the night before he passed, he called me and like always told me how much he loved me. He admitted to being a wild one and gave my brother and I up because he felt he was a lousy person at that time. There wasn't a day that went by when he did not think of us. He cried many times on the phone with deep regret. I tried to tell him how all was forgiven and I thanked him for giving me the life he did. ..Years later I adopted two babies, and I felt for the birth mothers who so unselfishly gave their babies to me so I could be their momma. What a beautiful gift. I feel honored that out of all the mom's my two babies were placed in my arms. I am sure your mother felt the same way.

      Love,

      Sunnie

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sunnie, aren't emotions like yours wonderful? What a great comment you shared, and I feel your emotion from 1500 miles away. I am a lucky man, and I am eternally grateful for the gift of life I was given. I love receiving comments from people like you who understand that we have been given the greatest gift of all. I am so happy that you were able to meet your father and form a relationship with him; that is incredible.

      Thank you my dear!

    • Dancing Water profile image

      Dancing Water 4 years ago

      Thanks, Bill. A very courageous and compassion-filled letter to your birth mother. You demonstrate that you are a very evolved individual by following your consciousness. Your positive energy shines through in your writing!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dancing, I have my adopted parents to thank for that positive energy! Thank you so much! You are a kind and caring woman. Have a wonderful weekend!

    • RedElf profile image

      RedElf 4 years ago from Canada

      I am becoming quite addicted to your video "moments" - thanks so much for sharing your story. I have a relative who was adopted into our family. We never hear from them any more, since they became an adult, and they are very overweight, depressed, and very unhappy. They have never tried to get in touch with their birth parents. I wonder if that might not have helped them in some way? (Yes, I know "they" is incorrect grammar, but I don't want to be any more specific about the relative.)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Red, it's a tough call in all honesty! Many people feel they would be better off finding their birth parents only to find it a mistake; and the opposite is true as well. My son is having the time of his life with his birth mother, but my experience is that those are rare occurrences. It sounds like your relative is already terribly unhappy so I doubt seriously if finding the birth parents would make them any more unhappy, if that makes any sense.

      Anyway, thank you for the kind words. I haven't done a video in two weeks and really need to find the time to do so.

    • mariexotoni profile image

      mariexotoni 4 years ago

      Probably one of the most touching hubs I've read on hubpages. Beautiful.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Marie; it was pretty close to my heart when it was written.

    • BobbiRant profile image

      BobbiRant 4 years ago from New York

      Great hub! I too was adopted. I have never dwell on it though as my adopted parents gave me so much love I never cared as a child. As an adult I appreciate it takes much more than giving birth to make a real parent. The ones who cared for me when sick, attended every dumb school play and loved to to adulthood and beyond Are my true parents. I enjoyed this one very much.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Bobbi, you are so right! My adopted parents were the best, and to consider them anything less than parents would be wrong. Now I'm an adopted parent and there is no greater love than the love I have for my son. Thank you!

    • SommerDalton profile image

      Sommer Dalton 4 years ago

      This is the most beautiful hub I have ever read on hubpages. This is why I love hubpages, you are truly an inspiration to anyone who has been adopted and what you said about your parents living on was amazing. Voted up and much more!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Sommer! I have been blessed during my lifetime, and none of it would have happened if it were not for my mother.

    • worddsplaytoday profile image

      worddsplaytoday 4 years ago from NC

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you for your kind words. You know all too well what my letter was about. I cannot begin to understand what it must have felt like for you to give up a child, but I can gain some sense of understanding from reading your story. I hope your story is read by many; maybe, just maybe, it will help others who have experienced what you have experienced.

    • profile image

      whowas 4 years ago

      What a heartening and touching piece of writing. My sister was adopted when she was only a few months old. I know that when she reached the age of eighteen (the age in the UK that an adopted child can legally request their birth parent's details) she did go and try to find her parents. I know that she found her mother and they met. I also know that that was the only meeting that they had together and she has never wanted to talk about what passed between them. She had, I think, as a younger child, created all manner of expectations that were clearly not met.

      So, I guess that while on occasion it can be a happy meeting, there are often reasons why a child is put up for adoption that cannot necessarily be resolved even with the passing of the years.

      Thank you for such a thoughtful and thought-provoking piece.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Whowas, thanks for a great comment. I never tried to find my birth mother, for exactly the reason you mentioned at the end of your comment.....there was most likely a very good reason why she put me up for adoption in the first place, and I have to trust her judgment. Thank you Sir!

    • profile image

      Alma 4 years ago

      Thanks for writing as an adopted person reading your article has re-enforced the ideas I already had in me. Thanks and a HUGE THANKS to God for putting my adoptive parents in my life. They gave me a 2nd chance of Life and I will forever be grateful.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Alma; I always love hearing from other adoptees. I am thankful if this article helped you.

    • Abundant old soul profile image

      Abundant old soul 4 years ago from united states

      Thank for this! We adopted our son from Russia. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. My wife would say the same thing.

      You are a gift to us all.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Abundant, thank you so much, and bless you for adopting your son. I greatly appreciate your words and sentiment.

    • WannaB Writer profile image

      Barbara Radisavljevic 4 years ago from Templeton, CA

      I wish my adopted daughter had been able to resolve her issues over her adoption, which was when she was 11. She was still in touch with the birth father her testimony had help jail for molestation. She was always hoping she'd find her mother, and after she was 18 she finally did. It did not help her resolve her issues. Unfortunately, we weren't able to help her much, either, no matter how hard we tried. I often wonder what would have happened if we'd gotten her when she was a baby instead of when she was a tween.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      WannaB...that is such a tough age to be adopted. I have no doubt you did everything humanly possible to help her through the sorrow and angst, but by that age there is a lot of emotional damage that has been done. Hopefully, as she grows older, she will come to terms with it all. Thank you for sharing that experience; it just might help someone else.

    • WannaB Writer profile image

      Barbara Radisavljevic 4 years ago from Templeton, CA

      billybuc, she won't be growing any older. I told her story on a Squidoo lens which I wrote before I joined hub pages: Sarah, the Suicide of a Child. Only she wasn't a child when she died. She left us at the age of 17 to control her own life. After her brother, whom we had also adopted, died in an accident at the age of 14, she was never the same, since she thought he was the only one who really loved her. She did not communicate with us at all between the time she was 20 and 34, and then we got the call that she had shot herself. Her birth mother had killed herself two years earlier, but, of course, we didn't know that either until we got the call.

      She had moved to Texas. Her common law husband relayed her wish to be buried beside her brother (it was a double grave, half empty.) Her husband could not afford to pay the bill for transportation and funeral expenses, or even to get to the memorial service himself. He did let us foot the bill for the burial, since we offered, knowing that Sarah would want to rest beside her brother. Her half brother and my husband officiated at her service. It's sad to us that she would not come to us when she was in despair, but had trusted that we would lay her to rest, when the time came, where she wanted to be.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dammit, I hate to hear stories like that one! This stuff happens far too often in the world....lost, lonely, confused, hurting....they pass us by on the streets, close enough to touch, but they can't reach out for whatever reason. I know all too well how lucky I am; far too many adoptees are miserable, and it breaks my heart to see it.

      I'm sorry for your loss; sorry for her loss. It's all just so very sad!

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas

      This is an exceptionally touching piece of work, Bill. In this letter you have woven the fabric of your soul letting both the good and bad come out for all to see and at the same time making us realize that you don't see your life as a regret or a "what if". You take it for what it was and is and accept that with great humility and thankfulness. We should all be so appreciative of the joys and opportunities of our lives. So glad to hear that your son opened a long closed door in his life as well. Very inspiring. Writing has brought a lot of good things into my life and allowed me to open up a lot of what is inside myself to share. It is a wonderful tool which God has blessed us with in life. Thanks so much for sharing this with us. ~WB

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Wayne, thank you for that eloquent comment. Regrets? There is no point in it; I am human and I have made mistakes...but I have grown and learned because of them all, and today I am happy....and how cool is that?

      I appreciate your words, Wayne! We are both lucky to be writers; who would have believed it so many years ago?

      bill

    • profile image

      robin 4 years ago

      I too can't remember not knowing I was adopted. I've always been curious of who my birth parents are. But there was never a need to know them. I also had the best parents in the world. My Dad died when I was 9 and my Mom died emotionally too. She did die when I was 20. I'm greatful for what I was given and my big brother too! I'm 54 now and still haven't foound her. But I haven't really put alot of effort into it.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Robin, thank you for sharing your story, and I'm glad you had great parents. I guess if I were really interested I could find out.....but really, what would be the point? I had one lady who was mad at me because she said that my birth mother would want to know.....well.....I'm not that hard to find. :)

    • MariaTeresaM profile image

      Teresa Martinez 4 years ago from Philippines

      Although your comments here are so many already, I dare join them if only to say how beautiful your story is even if it did not follow the usual route to happiness which we often expect in life. Your adoptive parents have been proven right in their decision to provide a life of love to a child who is not biologically theirs in the triumph you have shown.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Maria, that is so kind of you to say! Thank you so much! I have been blessed my friend, and I love life, and that is the greatest gift my parents gave me. :)

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 4 years ago

      Hi Billy, you have expressed your thoughts and sentiments very well on paper. The closing of the letter is very touching. I enjoyed the pics as well.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hello lovedoctor! So nice to see you again! I had to run to your site to see if you have written lately, which you have not. Anyway, I'm glad you dropped by and thank you for the kind comment.

      Have a wonderful weekend and I look forward to reading your next hub.

      bill

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 4 years ago

      Thanks Billy. I was on vacation in August and then just busy with work and all.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Love, I hope you had a great vacation. Be well and be happy!

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 4 years ago

      Thank you.

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 4 years ago from Minnesota

      Oh wow Bill. This letter to your mom is a sheer master piece. You have such a beautiful soul and it always comes out in your writing. You have touched me so deeply today and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story. I was so excited to hear this story helped your son find his birth mother. Do the miracles never end???

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Twin, you are a kind human being. Thank you! No, the miracles never do end, and I'm living proof of that. :)

    • Jamie Brock profile image

      Jamie Brock 4 years ago from Texas

      Bill, I actually saw this one when you published it but I didn't read it because I was afraid of the emotions it would bring up. I'm so glad I came back to read it though.. it brought tears to my eyes that you were so forgiving and what a miracle that your son found his birth mother.... wow.

      Here is another thing we have in common - when I was 15 I had a child and gave her up for adoption. I don't know anything about her but there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about that little girl. Your hub is inspiring, I may have to write my own hub soon. I would love to be able to meet her one day. Thank you again and God Bless :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jamie, thank you, and thank you for sharing about yourself. It is such a personal decision, and God bless you for making yours the way you did. I'm sure it is what you needed to do, and I am sure it was best for your child. I hope one day you do write that hub. I would love to read it!

      Hugs to you my friend, and have a great weekend.

      bill

    • Pamela Kinnaird W profile image

      Pamela Kinnaird W 4 years ago from Maui and Arizona

      Wow, this is an amazingly honest hub, one written with courage and optimism -- and love. I am happy for you that you are at the place you are -- in your life.

      The comments are EPIC -- e.g. surpassing the ordinary, particularly in scope or size. There were some I particularly enjoyed as I felt the same as the writers.

      I have several friends who were adopted. I know the feelings run deep on this subject. I admire your strength and compassion for your birth mother -- and your love and appreciation of your parents.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much Pamela, and I appreciate the visit. We have lost touch and I'm not sure why, but I will try to do better on my end. I appreciate your heartfelt words; the comments on this hub blew me away. This was my 5th hub on HP, and the comments are the reason I stayed with HP many months ago. I love this site, and it is because of people like you.

    • JaimePage profile image

      Jaime 4 years ago from New Jersey

      Thank you for writing this. It brought tears to my eyes. Very touching. I plan to share this article with my niece, who is adopted. I've only been on here briefly, but I can see how many people in this writing community that you've touched with your writing and support.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jaime, thank you; I hope this helps your niece in some way. It is a tough issue for many adoptees....but it doesn't have to be that way. :)

    • profile image

      Justsilvie 4 years ago

      This made my cry... It was so warm and touching and I am sure if your mother read it she would be happy with the person you have become. It is also a very touching tribute to your adoptive parents. Your writing always adds a very positive note to my day... Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Justsilvie....I'm sorry about the tears. I really don't like to make people cry, but I will assume they were tears of joy, as mine are. I am blessed....no doubt about it....and so very thankful. :)

    • shai77 profile image

      Chen 4 years ago

      This was very beautiful, and very touching. A great story, with a happy ending. So many people think being adopted means you feel you never know your 'real family' but the fact is when someone raises you with love they are your 'real family'. Very nice.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Shai, thank you again, and you said it perfectly. Birth does not make a real family; I came to realize that at an early age and nothing has changed my mind. I'm just happy that my birth mother gave me the chance at a great life.

    • Pinkchic18 profile image

      Sarah Carlsley 4 years ago from Minnesota

      Awesome article, this was wonderful to read! You are truly a great writer.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Pink, I greatly appreciate those kind words. Thank you for the visit.

    • HoneyBB profile image

      Honey Halley 4 years ago from Illinois

      That was absolutely amazing! You are so wise to see the gift you were given and to not feel abandoned by your birth mother. I'm sure she suffered greatly and thought or still thinks about you every day of her life.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Honey, thank you! How selfish it would be of me to blame her, when it was she who gave me life. I am one grateful adopted child. :)

    • shiningmoments66 profile image

      Debra Pelletier 4 years ago from Norman, OK, 73071

      Your story was very touching and heartwarming. It really touched me personally as I have been looking for my half-brother for several years who was adopted. Although I have some basic information, I seem to have hit a wall. I think it is very different to be looking for a sibling than for a child or parent. I would like him to know that he has several brothers and sisters who would like to meet him. Thank you for sharing your life with us. It is a testimony to your strength and your parents' love.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Siningmoments, I love your hub name! Yes, it is a testimony to the love of my parents, birth and adopted. I have come to greatly appreciate them all over the years.

      Welcome to HubPages and thank you for a lovely comment. Best of luck to you in looking for your half-brother.

    • Debby Bruck profile image

      Debby Bruck 4 years ago

      Billy - I'm awed and amazed. What a beautiful life story you have written here. I'm now listening to your chat. If only everyone on the planet could feel the amount of gratitude and love that you have found over your lifetime. Many more miracles and blessings to you and your family. Debby

      P.S. Happy Belated Birthday!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Debby, thank you for the kind words and the birthday wishes. I consider myself an incredibly lucky man. I send you wishes for happiness today and all days.

      bill

    • profile image

      MariaB 4 years ago

      idk how you can be so accepting. maybe its just cuz im young, barely turned 20 and havent had much life expierence as you. I was also adopted, although my expierence was nothing like you. ive recently come back in contact with my birth M and im sad to say, im not happy with what i find out.....i just feel so hopeless, if i had stayed with her or any of the family i wouldve had i wouldve ended up in a gang w/ my cousin (who apparently i was close to when we were 4), went to jail like literrally EVERYONE in my family, been hooked on drugs w/ my aunt or dropped out of hs, never graduated and gotten pregnant like my cousin also......but i was adopted and i had seen and been to places that not many people can say have been too and although yes i was adopted with both my half brothers and we stayed together pretty much all through foster care.... buh everything has a price, a price for happiness, a price for stability, a price for a child to have any type of love at all from a parent. i was adopted by 2 horrible people....idk sometimes i look back and feel ive been robbed in life

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Maria, thank you for your honest comment. You ask how I can be so accepting? It's because I have seen the worst in life; I have lived the worst in life.....and I fought my way to the best in life, which is what I'm living now. It does me no good to blame anyone for the bad in my life; no good at all. It won't make that stuff go away and it won't make it any better. It happened, it's over, and I have chosen to be happy and love what life I have remaining.

      I wish for you peace and happiness.....you deserve it and you can have it.

      bill

    • molometer profile image

      molometer 4 years ago

      Well done Bill,

      I get it about writing to ourselves. It clears space in the brain to move on in a positive way.

      Looks like your birth mother did what was right for both of you.

      Good to see.

      Nice that your writing reunited your son with his birth mother too.

      We never know where these hubs will end up, and what or who they may affect, as you say. It's a kind of miracle.

      Thanks Bill for a great share.

      All the votes and sharing.

    • ElizaDoole profile image

      Lisa McKnight 4 years ago from London

      I liked this hub Bill, thanks for sharing your adoption story. It raised a tear in my eyes. I think this is because it is so wonderful how you thanked your mom for the good things she passed onto you via her DNA, and the understanding you showed her for giving you up. I wish you well wise man. xx

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Eliza, I am a blessed man, and I have my parents to thank for it; they are the ones who gave me principles to live by; any mistakes I made were mine alone; any hardships were of my doing. I am grateful today for the life I have been given.

      Thank you kind lady; enjoy your weekend. By the way, I have always loved the name Eliza! :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Michael, thank you Sir! The power we have, as writers, is unbelievable, and our reach is long and far. I love writing as I know you do as well. Have a great weekend in Cambridgeshire!

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 4 years ago from North Carolina

      419 comments here, Bill...just in case you haven't noticed! This is a beautiful hub and brought tears to my eyes. It's amazing, as you describe your life in the first paragraph or so, that your 'blindness' was not lasting. As if, symbolically, you were shutting your eyes to the trauma of abandonment and rejection.

      I'm thrilled to learn that your work has made a direct difference in your adopted son's life and his reunion with his birth mother.

      It was wonderful to hear your talk about acceptance...did I hear a chuckle from Bev in the beginning when you discussed being exhausting? LOL

      Thanks for this awesome hub and I rated it UP/U/and across...sharing.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Denise, thank you! This was the first hub where my "writing voice" was used, and I guess it was a success. :) Yes, that was Bev chuckling in the background. Can't keep that girl serious. LOL This hub is a great reminder of the difference we writers can make in this world; who would have guessed that my article would reunite my son with his birth mother. A miracle for sure!

      Thank you so much for your kind words.

    • LaThing profile image

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      I am sending you a virtual hug, Billy..... The hug is more for me then for you..... You see, I need that shoulder to cry on! This is such a touching and oh, so moving letter! Your story is truly amazing..... Any mother would be proud to have a son like you. Dear Billy, I wish you the best...... And I see I have missed your birthday. Hope you had a wonderful B.day..... You are doing great, dear friend!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LaThing.....well, I had tears in my eyes with that comment. What a sweet, caring thing for you to write. Thank you my special friend, and anytime you need another hug or shoulder to cry on, just stop on by. :)

      Sincerely, thank you!

      bill

    • neophonic profile image

      Jakub Dubec 4 years ago from Europe

      It was an extraordinary experience to read such an awesome story of Bill Holland. Or William D. Holland? :) World is small and full of Miracles, You are right.

      Best Regards.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Neophonic, thank you for your kind words. I had a hard time when you asked for our best. This is probably not my best job of writing; I have written other hubs that I thought were better....but this one was the whole package of emotions and writing style. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment; thank you!

    • neophonic profile image

      Jakub Dubec 4 years ago from Europe

      Its only several minutes for a years of life! Doesnt matter. Personally i think that you have chosen very nicely :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Neophonic; I appreciate it greatly!

    • TNSabrina profile image

      TNSabrina 4 years ago

      Very thoughtful and loving hub! I bet your bio-mother would be so proud to know that you are safe and have a kind, forgiving heart. Sometimes adoption is the most loving thing a mother can do for her child.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sabrina, thank you so much. This article touched a great many people and I am very grateful about that. Yes, adoption is an act of a loving mother for sure.

      Thank you again!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Wow!! What an incredible life story. I am amazed by your encouragement through the battle you had, but having loving parents who show you love makes life pass through easily. Thanks for sharing story.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      DDE, thank you so much! It has been quite a life so far, and still much left to do. I love life, and I want others to love it as well. That is my quest!

    • SidKemp profile image

      Sid Kemp 4 years ago from Boca Raton, Florida (near Miami and Palm Beach)

      Thank you. What a wonderful appreciation just for being alive!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      SidKemp, thank you so much; this is my favorite hub of all the hubs I have written. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 4 years ago from Texas

      Oh...Billybuc, every adopted child should read this hub. It brought tears to my eyes, not sad ones, but because I could feel the love.

      My parents were divorced when my brothers and I were little. Not being able to see one parent (Dad) is a little bit like being half adopted. My Step father loved us kids as if we were his own. But, when I grew up and was expecting my second son, I found my blood father, and he and my stepfather became friends and they use to go fishing together.

      Keep the faith, you never know what may happen.

      I hope your birth mother reads your hub/letter, that is my Christmas wish for you.

      Shyron

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Shyron, that truly is kind of you. Thank you so much, and a Merry Christmas to you as well. I am very touched by the response to this letter.....there are a lot of great people out there. :)

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Who am I to judge such a child, but I do. I judge you above others and require you to perform above others. I come after you adopted as such in 1957. I shall watch you closely and try to be more like you.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Eric, thank you, but my best advice is to be more like you. :) I am just a man who has had to learn lessons the hard way due to my own stubbornness and ego. Learn I did, but there must be easier ways to finding happiness. LOL

    • live-creatively profile image

      live-creatively 4 years ago

      Love this. My Mom is adopted and I have a sister that's adopted also. Having become a mother myself, I can really appreciate the sacrifice that a birth mother makes when she decides to give up a child so that he/she may have a better life. I am so thankful for birth mothers and the sacrifices they make so that families like mine can feel complete.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Live....your comment is wonderful and really says it all. Thank you for the visit!

    • ienjoythis profile image

      Marissa D. Carnahan 4 years ago from Nevada

      This hub struck a delicate chord in me. Though I was not adopted, I have never had a mother. She is around and I have gone to visit her only a hand-full of times in my life - however, the drugs and alcohol are just too much for me to yield to. Throughout my childhood, I bounced back and fourth between my then young father who had not the slightest clue on how to raise a baby girl and my wonderful grandparents who I owe my life to. I've always yearned for a mother; and I have always found myself reaching out to the strong women in my life.

      This was touching to read and a deep respect for you and your journey have been placed into my heart.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Marissa, thank you so much! It must have been so hard for you, and yet look at you, in college, writing, dreams and a future. Bravo to you my young friend from Ohio! Use your experiences to learn from and then move forward stronger for them.

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 4 years ago from USA

      Billy,

      Ok to call you that? :)

      What an amazing story and just amazing. I'm sorry you had to go through what you did but you turned out to be one of the most amazing people on hubpages I've met. Your giving attitude is amazing and I believe you have so much wisdom to share.

      I'm very greatful to have come to meet you here, you are a wonderful writer. Thank you so much for being you. You are good people!

      For real, SGFR

      Sharing, Up and awesome, bookmarking!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rose (alright if I call you that? :)_ thank you, and please, call me Bill! The other is a nickname from high school that I use for all my writings. Thank you so much; it's been in interesting life but I wouldn't change any of it. It ended up bringing me to a very special place.....happiness. :)

    • Monis Mas profile image

      Aga 4 years ago

      Bill, your letter is... I wanted to say beautiful, but there is so much more to it... I read it with goosebumps, and with a teary eye. You put so much feeling into your words... I am so glad you can thank your birth mother for giving you life, with no regrets, with no blame.

      Your letter really touched me!

      And best of luck to your son, I hope he found some answers!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Monis, thank you so much for your kind words. This hub has been so well-received, and so much love has been spent.....well, it is very heartwarming. I'm glad we are new Hub friends and I look forward to reading more of your work in the months to come. Welcome to HubPages by the way!

    • Monis Mas profile image

      Aga 4 years ago

      Thank you, Bill! I enjoy my time on HubPages very much!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Monis, you are welcome! :)

    • toys-everywhere profile image

      Rachael C. 4 years ago from That little rambunctious spot in the back of your mind :)

      I have to say, part of the reason it took me so long to read this hub is because I was avoiding it.

      My biological father left me a week before my 2nd birthday and I was adopted at 14 by the father who came into my life when I was around six years old.

      I've written several letters to my biological father, all unsent and in a keepsake box. I wish I could say that I have written one from the perspective of the one you wrote above, but I can't say that I have reached that point yet. I hope to get there soon, though.

      The older I get, the more I am learning that, just as other people can sometimes be a pain in my ass and a knife in my heart, so can I, and I need to keep loving and forgiving people no matter who they become or what they have done, because it is not for me to judge.

      I've learnt to accept my situation, because as far as I can see, his life has (while not morally wholesome--he's a drug dealer -_- with warrants for his arrest in my home state and New York) been better for leaving me; just as my life has been better for his having left.

      Despite knowing where he is, I have chosen not to contact or look for him either, but I hope that maybe one day he will want to meet the daughter he left behind and that I will be forgiving enough and able to one day meet the man that walked away.

      Your hub made me think of all this, and I know that my outlook is changing because, reading your story, I was able to look with a smile upon my own.

      So, thanks very much Bill, and I sincerely hope you are doing well and that you had a lovely Christmas. :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Toys, I am doing quite well, thank you, and I did have a lovely Christmas. I hope you did as well.

      About the only constant in life is change my friend. How I feel now is light years beyond how I felt when I was in my twenties. We do gain a different perspective on life as we get older. Those things we thought were so important either change in importance or lose their importance completely. So it was with me. This letter was closure for me, and acceptance.....and it only took me sixty years to reach that point. :)

    • expertscolumn profile image

      Stanley Soman 4 years ago from New York

      "The adopted child sixty-three years later" I was caught off guard by that statment. For whatever reason, that was profound.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you expertscolumn.....if so, it was one of my rare profound moments. :)

    • rdsparrowriter profile image

      rdsparrowriter 4 years ago

      Hi Billy, your letter really is priceless. It is indeed a great blessing to get to know you through your writing. Words of wisdom, love, care and appreciation. Infact, few days ago for the first time, I visited a malnutrition orphanage. I simply wondered how can mothers give away such beautiful small kids. ( I was so sad to hear that some babies were found in garbage places and I always thought abortion is not an option.) My mom said, if I want I can go and spend time with small kids.. No one is perfect, but you made a change :) Stay blessed!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      rd, again, thank you! This was a special hub for me, obviously. I have had a blessed life, all things considered. It takes little imagination to picture how things could have turned out differently. I am one happy adopted child. :)

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 4 years ago from Texas

      I can understand that when a woman loves her babies so much and does not have the means to care for them, for their sake she could give them up for adoption.

      And you are a special person to see that.

      Thanks for sharing your story.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Shyron, I would hope that everyone would understand that, but sadly that is not the case. Thank you for your kind words.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 4 years ago from Texas

      Will post on my facebook page!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Shyron; you are greatly appreciated.

    • profile image

      Phoebe Pike 4 years ago

      A beautiful letter.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Phoebe; it's nice to see you drop by! This one was important to me. :)

    • expertscolumn profile image

      Stanley Soman 4 years ago from New York

      Adopting a child can be a wonderful thing, billy you should add this video to this hub, for the importance of adopting a child

      http://jesusnameaboveall.wordpress.com/2013/01/17/...

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      experts, thank you! I will take a look at the video you suggested.

    • LovelyAni profile image

      LovelyAni 4 years ago from Connecticut

      Touching letter ! I know it must be very hard to not know who your biological parents are, despite that you are living a long and healthy life. Congratulations on finding peace. Good Luck in the future ! =].

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LovelyAni, thank you! In truth, it was never that hard for me. My adoptive parents were such great parents, and they did such a fine job of telling me about adoption, that it just seemed normal. I was one of the lucky ones!

    • Annie Miller profile image

      Annie Miller 4 years ago from Wichita Falls, Texas

      I was adopted in 1950 and your story and letter resonated with me. I recently found and have spoken with my birth mother and am still coming to terms with the discovery - at last I know where I got my eyes and nose!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Annie, I don't live with regrets, but I do wish I had sought my birth mother earlier in my life. I'm happy that you did; I think in many ways it is very important for us adoptees. Thank you!

    • skye2day profile image

      skye2day 4 years ago from Rocky Mountains

      billybuc Awesome endearing and heartfelt story bro. I am touched and have tears. Good tears. Your heart is love bill and your mom would be gleaming if she read this. Thanks for sharing what a wonderful God we serve. He gave you a wonderful home to grow and be nurtured. One day I believe you will meet your mom maybe not here but in Heaven. Awesome your son and his mom reunited. God is good. His plans and purpose amazing. Hugs to you bill. Skye

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Skye, so nice to see you again, and thank you for your kind words. I have been very lucky and blessed during my lifetime. I live a life of happiness and contentment now, and I squeeze every drop of pleasure out of this life that I can. Life is good! Love is good!

    • khmazz profile image

      Kristen Mazzola 4 years ago from South Florida

      I was adopted as well and I have to say that your letter displayed a type of courage that I admire. Your story is beautiful and it thoroughly touched my heart. Thank you so much for sharing that. I feel the same admiration for my birth mother that I could feel you do too. My parents were a lot like yours, giving me unconditional love through a wonderful childhood. I have never had a desire to seek out my biological family, but maybe someday I will change my mind and find the strength to. I hope this comment finds you well!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      khmazz, thank you very much. I see no reason in the world to feel bitter about being given up for adoption. I have experienced a wonderful life because a woman chose to give me life when she could have chosen the opposite. I am blessed and lucky and I am glad you feel the same way.

    • kaiyan717 profile image

      kaiyan717 4 years ago from West Virginia

      Sir, I think I ran across this by accident or maybe by fate. I gave my son up for adoption when I was 15, he is now almost 13 and not a day goes by that I don't wonder how he is. I now have a four year old and to know what I have missed is the worst feeling in the world. I hope and pray to meet him one day, to see what type of man he has become and I hope he turns out as well as you. It was an open adoption in the beginning, but the adoptive parents wanted it closed and I have to respect their decision. But it doesn't stop the hoping and praying that one day, we will meet again. I am happy that you have found true family and love, this is what any mother would want for their child.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      kaiyan, maybe it was fate. I'm sure the decision you made thirteen years ago was the best one you could have made at the time considering what your circumstances were. We each have to make some pretty damn difficult decisions during our lifetime. We do as best we can and move on. Love that four year old for all you are worth my friend. Thank you for sharing a very personal adventure.

    • bingskee profile image

      bingskee 4 years ago from Quezon City, Philippines

      you are an inspiration! though this hub could make anyone cry, i find it such an inspiration for everybody whose mother chose to have her baby adopted. you are very right that there was reason for her that time to make such a decision. there is no use brooding on that especially when an adopted child found love. :D

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      bingskee, thank you for your kind words and for your following. I have had an incredible life; why would I complain? My birth mother could have chosen to abort, so I see no reason to find fault with her decision.

    • faythef profile image

      Faythe F. 4 years ago from USA

      Wow billybuc .......I am sharing this, in the hopes that many more will, see it, read it ....I know that there are many out there that can relate to and benefit from this hub. Voting up....across and sharing..

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      faythef, thank you so much! I hope, as you do, that others will benefit from this.

    • Linda Compton profile image

      Linda Compton 4 years ago from The Land of Enchantment

      Sir William,

      Once again, you have mined the depths of heart, mind & soul...and shared a rich vein of pure golden insight & compassion with us. Personal, universal, compelling...I've just added a courageous woman to my "thankful for" list today for choosing life and blessing...Proud and pleased don't even come close...

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Linda, I don't even know what to say to that other than thank you! You humbled me with that comment. We will say thank you to that woman together because I am sure happy she made the decision she made. :)

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      I love these Hubs about your birth mother.. You give us your heart in these hubs and makes my soul cry.. You are simply an awesome writer bill..You have grown to be a wonderful man.. and Your advice always rules the day..

      thank you bill for who you are

      Debbie

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Debbie, that is high praise coming from such an accomplished writer, and I thank you. I am more touched by you saying I am a wonderful man. That means a great deal to me and I thank you.

      blessings today and always,

      bill

    • stuff4kids profile image

      Amanda Littlejohn 4 years ago

      Hi,

      That was such a moving and inspiring read. I don't know what to say more than that. I didn't expect such an open, honest and yes, beautiful letter.

      The one thing I can say - as the mother of four kids - if you had been mine I would be very proud of you. I don't know you are or what you have achieved and done (this is the first hub of yours that I have read) but I can see that you are a wonderful, thoughtful, wise and loving man. Of that, I would be proud.

      God bless you.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      stuff4kids....Wow! What a great first comment. :) Thank you so much and I appreciate you following me. My birth mother gave me the greatest gift a human being can give...life. How could I not be appreciative?

      I look forward to reading some of your work soon. Again, I really appreciate your kind words.

    • Sonya-Artis profile image

      Sonya Artis 4 years ago from Kansas City, MO/Ft. Lauderdale, FL

      Wow....tears and smiles were brought on by reading this article. I gave up my son for adoption, but the outcome was so different; we've met, and we have an excellent relationship. I also have a great relationship with his father (adoptive)-his mother passed away. Your letter was heartfelt and inspiring. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sonya, I appreciate your kind words. I have nothing but respect for women who give up their children for adoption. It must be incredibly hard to do. Thank you for your visit and your comment.

    • beingwell profile image

      beingwell 4 years ago from Bangkok

      You're doing great billybuc. There is a reason for everything. Your mom should be proud of you.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much beingwell. That was a very sweet thing to say.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 4 years ago from Texas

      I am keeping you in my prayers that you find your mom. She must be a wonderful person.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Shyron. Maybe some day. I appreciate your caring spirit.

    • cathie bridges profile image

      Hamza Arshad 4 years ago from Pakistan

      Very heart touching and emotional.God bless you

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Cathie, thank you so much. Your kind words have touched me.

    • athulnair profile image

      athulnair 4 years ago from India

      Great hub, the best part I liked is the part, "I don't blame you or anyone", where you say you have no complaint with birth mother.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      athulnair, thank you so much. Blame is a waste of time; I was given life...what's there to blame?

    • QudsiaP1 profile image

      QudsiaP1 4 years ago

      Bill, as I read this; my cheeks are still wet and my soul enlightened. To speak to your birth mother on such a forum with such devotion. To have come to terms with her decision and to not have remained vindictive in itself speaks for who you are as a person and what a wonderful job your adoptive parents did in upbringing you. You are wonderful Bill and I am sure wherever she is; she will be very proud of you.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Qudsia, thank you so much! I'm sure my mother made the best choice at the time. For me to question her would be folly at best and hubris at worst. I refuse to do that. We all deal with life in our own way and it is not for someone else to question.

    • profile image

      Beth37 4 years ago

      What a beautiful letter. And a wonderful reminder that every life is special, unique and worthwhile. I am also glad your birth mom brought you into this world, as you have helped encourage many ppl thru your writing.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Beth, it's good to see you again. Thanks for stopping by, and I'm glad you chose this hub to read. It is my favorite. It many not be my best, but it is my favorite. :)

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 4 years ago from sunny Florida

      Good morning Bill

      For some reason I have not read this before today. And what a precious letter it is. Your birth Mother would be proud of you for many reasons, no doubt.

      Your generous spirit honors her for her gift of life to you. As you say, you could have NOT been on the planet at all. So it is indeed a blessing ...a blessing to you and to us.

      The Mom and Dad that you grew up knowing and loving sound as if they were thrilled to have their little Bill..

      Thank you for sharing this with us...

      Angels and hugs are on the way ...have a great day, Bill :) ps

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      PS, I consider myself one of the luckiest beings on the planet. How else can I look at the gifts I have been given, and it all started with a wonderful woman who made the decision to give me life and allowed me to go forth. :)

      Thank you dear friend. Have a great Monday and I will do the same.

      blessings and a hug,

      bill

    • Theater girl profile image

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      Brave, poignant and beautiful! What a lovely tribute to your origins. Somewhere in her heart, I hope this woman at least feels your love and acceptance!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Theater girl....what a touching comment. I really appreciate your kind words.

    • savvydating profile image

      savvydating 3 years ago

      Lovely. You've come a long way, baby... Your video message about control is right on the money. I was very moved by your letter to your biological mother. Indeed, it takes a lot of courage to bring a baby to term and then hand him over; a truly heart wrenching experience, especially when that woman would have done anything to keep that child. Imagine living with that sorrow for a lifetime? I can only guess at the strength required to give one's precious child to another couple. Probably, it would kill me.

      I admire any mother who has the resiliency to withstand this sorrow. I respect that you have no ill will toward your mother, and that you still love her very much.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Savvy, thank you for stopping by, for the kind words and for the following. Obviously this hub was close to my heart, and I'm so happy that you liked it. Sincerely, thank you!

    • epbooks profile image

      Elizabeth Parker 3 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      That letter was so very kind and sweet. What a nice way to honor your birth mother. Voted up , awesome and beautiful!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you epbooks....I have nothing but gratitude for her, wherever she is. :)

    • profile image

      Kathleen Kerswig 3 years ago

      You know what? I'm glad your mother opted for adoption rather than abortion too. You are an inspiration to many, you encourage in our writing, and you have overcome many obstacles. Thank you for sharing this with us here on HubPages. It is a beautiful letter my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kathlee, thank you so much. Obviously this was an important hub to me, but it is nice to have it so well received by such compassionate people such as you.

    • Carl8033 profile image

      Alexander Okelo 3 years ago

      Such a sweet and moving hub billybuc.

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