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Should You Be A Stay At Home Mom?

Updated on May 9, 2011

I'm a stay at home mother of three children. I have two different grades of home-schooled children, plus a baby. Imagine taking my child to the doctor and the person filling out the financial information on the forms asks the question..."Do you work?"

I know what they mean, but I can't help but reply, "Yes, I work, but I'm not employed."

I may go about the day trying to clean, cook, do laundry, bandage boo boos, homeschool, break up quarrels, wipe up spills, give baths, brush hair, change diapers and this is all just for starters. If I start to make progress I may go in another room only to find out on my return that everything that I'd just accomplished has been undone. Then, my darling husband comes home at night and wonders what I've done all day.

Being home all day with your kids isn't the cushy job that many think it is, but it's the highest paying job I know. You, and not some daycare worker or babysitter, is the one who gets to experience your child's firsts, and each milestone they reach. You are the # 1 influence in their life.

I don't mean to downplay mother's who have to work for a living. I know that there are some instances where it just can't be helped. I appreciate you mothers just the same, because you are doing what is necessary to make the best life for your child, and these will be qualities that your children will appreciate in the future. I know many of you who have to work would gladly stay home if any way possible. I'm not talking to you. However, there are many mothers that work when they don't have to. They want an income that will make it possible to invest in the finer things of life, not realizing that the greatest thing that they could invest in would be their own children. You may say, "My husband just don't make enough to get my kids the things they need." How do you define what they need? Things to make them popular such as the latest fashion on clothes, or the newest and coolest toys? Or is it love, quality time, and moral teaching? I'd say, when we really weigh the importance of the two side by side, the latter will always win.

If you are a working mom who would like to stay home with your kids but you need your income to help keep you afloat financially, then take heart. Let your children know that this isn't Mommy's first choice at the moment, and then show them all the love that you can when you can. Hold them, talk to them, and praise worthy accomplishments. Try to find time to connect with your child every day. Also, work to get out of debt. Start shopping at thrift stores, and start practicing frugality in every area possible. Take the money that you save and put it in a savings account. Save change. It all adds up. You'll be surprised that you actually can live on very little if you try. It just depends on how important it is to you.

After you save a little nest egg, start paying off some of your debts. Try starting with the smallest balances first, like a credit card with a low credit limit. Get these bills out of the way. When they're paid off, don't go celebrate with a chocolate sundae, keep paying the bill just like you did before, except to your savings account. After enough has built up, pay off something else, and so on.

I know this is a controversial subject, and I like to stay away from those as much as possible, but this is something that I feel strongly about. I have been in several situations where I could be an observer of both sides. I was a pastor's daughter for 16 years, the oldest of five kids with a stay-at-home mom, I've worked in daycare before I had my children and have even taught in school. I've seen the evidence over and over that children who have their mothers at home are happier, and the ones who have their mom replaced with other people or things (such as nice homes, great toys, etc) are overall more unhappy. Let me remind you, this is from an unbiased view.

So, if your not a stay-at-home mom, try to "work to stay at home." Remember, there are options out there to help moms work from home also.

We all love our kids, sometimes we just need to get our perspective. Don't let this article upset you, but use it as a way to make things better. Not only will your children be happier, but you will be too. Once your children are grown, they're grown. Never live with regret.


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    • profile image

      kim 8 years ago

      i really hope when the time comes and i have children i can stay at home with them. i am newly married and plan on working for a few years and saving so that when the time comes that i do have a child i can stay home. my mom sadly was not able to be a stay home mom but i hope one day i can be. but i do believe that when your children are older like teenagers i do think my mom has it harder than stay home moms. she has to do her job, where she has to be dressed professional, be there at a certain time, do stressfull work with mean parents at the school, THEN she has to come home and cook and clean and do all the other motherly things. now that i am no longer in school i help her with that of course but i think when your child is in middle or highschool its not the same hard work being a stay home mom than it is having a job where you have to go to. just my opinion but great blog. love it!

    • thelesleyshow profile image

      TheLesleyShow 8 years ago from US

      You've already seen my nevermind checking that one out. thanks anyways.

    • thelesleyshow profile image

      TheLesleyShow 8 years ago from US

      I love being the one to raise my children, nurture them, educate them. There's nothing more rewarding than staying home with my kids. I started my own daycare just so I could be home with them. Great content! An Easy Thumbs up! Come see my hub for stay at home moms

    • blessedmommy profile image

      Carisa Gourley 8 years ago from Oklahoma City Metro, Oklahoma

      supermum: I know that most mother's feel that way. (Wishing they could stay home). But even when it's impossible your children still look at you as a "supermum".

      God bless :)

    • supermum1961 profile image

      supermum1961 8 years ago from London, England

      I wish I could stay at home. I envy you!

    • profile image

      JamesLGX 9 years ago

      good stuff

    • blessedmommy profile image

      Carisa Gourley 9 years ago from Oklahoma City Metro, Oklahoma

      ME TOO! Thanks for commenting, Shira!

    • shira profile image

      shira 9 years ago from U.S.A

      I am a PROUD Stay At Home Mom!

    • beth plumley profile image

      beth plumley 9 years ago from Wine Country, CA

      Great hub! I'm almost at the end of my "stay-at-home" status now that my kids are in high school, and I've always felt so lucky to have this choice. It's been wonderful and the next chapter exciting, too! I wrote my very first hub about it. Hubs are so cool! Thanks so much for yours.

    • WeddingConsultant profile image

      WeddingConsultant 9 years ago from DC Metro Area

      Great hub here blessedmommy. My wife and I won't be able to afford having one income when the baby comes (in a month), but it's something we'd like to do eventually.

    • crystalkay profile image

      crystalkay 9 years ago from Sunny Southern California

      I love my job as a full time wife and mommy! SO rewarding...everyday I'm appreciative and thankful for the opportunity to be here for them! Great hub!

    • profile image

      MOmmagus 9 years ago

      Amen, from SAHM of 4!

    • blessedmommy profile image

      Carisa Gourley 10 years ago from Oklahoma City Metro, Oklahoma

      Dear virtuallymaggie,

      I pray that one day your wish will come true. HUGS for you and your little one(s)!

    • virtuallymaggie profile image

      virtuallymaggie 10 years ago

      Coming from a working mom who wishes more than anything that I could be a stay at home mom...Thank you! Awesome hub.

    • blessedmommy profile image

      Carisa Gourley 10 years ago from Oklahoma City Metro, Oklahoma

      Thanks for the nice comments! I hope that more mothers can begin to make their staying-at-home dreams come true!

    • profile image

      piggylane 10 years ago from Oklahoma

      Great hub!!! Things like that need to be said more often to remind us that we are doing the best for our children and ourselves even some days we dont feel like it.

    • singingmommy profile image

      Candace Green 10 years ago from OKLAHOMA

      Wonderful hub!!!!I agree..our children are only home a short while, I want to invest my time to better our future generation of leaders.

    • Zsuzsy Bee profile image

      Zsuzsy Bee 10 years ago from Ontario/Canada

      Blessedmommy! I sure agree with you.

      Great HUB

      regards Zsuzsy

    • MrMarmalade profile image

      MrMarmalade 10 years ago from Sydney

      I know husbands and males for that matter are so unrealistic.

      I like your hub