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Love: A Mother-Daughter Legacy
Before you start reading, I strongly recommend that you watch this feel good (true story) clip ~
Other related hub by the author:
- To The Girl Who Made Her Cry~
Who would understand the challenges of a mother and the choices that her daughter (or son) makes? This poem quite expressed in free verse is an expression of a mother's loving sentiments and of her tender heart's longing....
“An older mother who is tired of mothering has the right to retire, but not withdraw, from the job.” -
Motherhood-it is a timeless calling, a lifelong mission that requires a lot of patience and flexibility. It is one incredible role that will certainly change a woman's life forever.
A mother and daughter relationship could be complex and at times, there is a roller coaster of emotions in between but once built is all worth the ride and once achieved will create a rich and loving real relationship that can last a lifetime.
How often do we ignore the beautiful presence of our mother because of peer pressure and judgment or plain and simple, selfish desire? How often do we doubt our daughter not because we don’t really trust them but mother instinct tell us otherwise? So, there goes some frictions in the relationship.
Because of their tough role as a mother, we tend to completely miss the forest for the trees and often resent them for providing us life, instead of thanking them for the gift of life.
It is a painful thing to know that despite being raised with as much love as our mother’s can give, we still put them as our scapegoat for everything that is wrong in our lives and sometimes even call them, “the monster” or “bloody dramatic mother”. More often than not, they are misunderstood and seldom get what they need and deserve as a mother, for they tend to give than to receive. However, it is also painful to see that there are abused children, abandoned children and children longing for mother's love.
It is fulfilling to have a great mother and daughter relationship. The journey though is not always smooth and never without hurdles. Mothers and daughters are human beings, capable of making mistakes and the relationship just like any other relationships will never be perfect. There could be hurt, disappointment, disconnection, anger and resentment but there’s always love from the mother’s heart and love sadly comes in the end from the daughter’s heart when all there is but a memory.
Give it a chance for the relationship to flourish and grow~
There's a hundred and maybe thousands of reasons why we owe our mothers a debt of gratitude. For simply being a solid rock to whom we all look up to, for helping us and teaching us the lessons of love, peace and joy. She's there to comfort us and dry our tears. A mother’s devotion never wanes, no room for breeding bitterness because they are the enduring ones. However, we don't see this because of our stubbornness and biases blinds us. And, after all the nine months of unbearable displeasure, aren’t we supposed to honor thy mother (and father)?
"Women grow up and our energy is largely turned toward men, but the original love relationship is with a mother. If we as daughters don't acknowledge that, we're closing ourselves off from a great source of power and fulfillment and understanding of ourselves." - Lee Sharkey
It is normal for mothers to be controlling though not to the extent for obvious reason that you care about your daughter and that your intention is only to protect her. But, no matter how you control it, life is full of surprises and it’s going to surprise you. Giving up control over life is not easy, yet when you do you are able to release both yourselves to the confinement of the circumstances, resulting into a more balance mother-daughter relationship.
Having a daughter is a wonderful treasure and mothers and daughters can be best friends. It can definitely be acquired, if not innate. A mother and daughter love is one of the strongest forms of love relationships there is. If we only let it flourish and grow.
Mother knows best~
There’s no manual, no formula to be a good mother except to gently bring your mind to the here and now and simply experience the wonders of motherhood and appreciate the beauty of the relationship you have with your daughters, which in turn will deepen your daughters relationship with you -mothers.
Mothers do it all - they are the ultimate multi-taskers, very versatile, resilient and they do it all with a sense of joy. A mother's heart always accepts and understands in a deep and profound way. However, that doesn't mean you accept what is unhealthy, unethical and unwise. That's why, it is your responsibility to guide your daughters and scold them, if necessary just so they learn and hopefully absorb what was said that will impact their future choices in life. Mothers guide, support and protect their daughters solely because they love them to and beyond infinity. They try to maintain the connection to enhance the bond and uncut the beauty and essence of the relationship. Ultimately and hopefully, daughters will live out their destinies with God's presence working through them.
The challenges and the challengers~
It is very challenging to be a mother from the ephemeral moments of conceiving through the seemingly forever labor pain, infancy through adolescence and young adulthood through completely mature adult. I know so. I am a mother myself and have experienced the cult of motherhood. The experience is of my own because I wanted to give my daughters the very best in life. I wanted to see my daughters fulfill a successful life, earn a decent living, be God fearing and intact with their values-good values in life. I know too that society is a big factor in shaping up their character and one of my biggest fears is that my daughters will fall prey to the wrong crowd, to the wrong path, the bad influences of the society and end up being hurt or I will end up being hurt.
But then again, it is also challenging to be a daughter. I know so because I am one too. The very first-born, I was the fruit of love, the bundle of happiness for my parents. I brought pleasure and pride to my family (so they say). Although I can be willful at times, I know how to obey and be considerate to others. I willingly submit to my parents' expectations. I obeyed, I showed respect and did what I think was right as a daughter.
And so for mothers when a conflict arise, sometimes you just need to be silent and wait, be ready to pick up the pieces and pray they know that you do things in love.
'Stop your crying and wipe away your tears.
All that you have done for your children will not go unrewarded.
They will return from the enemy's land.
There is hope for your future.
Your children will come back home.
I, the Lord, have spoken'.
(Jer 31: 16,17) Good News Bible
In the end, when all is said and done, then it is simply a restful celebration of the life and the relationship you have with your mother as a daughter and vice-versa.
Poem: Relationship of Mother and Daughter
You can see it in their eyes,
in tender hugs and long good-byes,
a love that only moms and daughters know.
You can see it in their smiles,
through passing years and changing styles,
a friendship that continually seems to grow.
You can see it in their lives,
the joy each one of them derives,
in just knowing that the other one is there...
To care and to understand,
lend an ear or hold a hand,
and to celebrate the memories they share.
However you reverse the role, it is very challenging to strengthen a mother-daughter relationship. Motherhood in general is tough. It is a gift of perfect madness but surely worth the journey.
Mother-daughter stories, we all have that. Maybe you are the mother, maybe you are the daughter. It could be a happy one, a sad one, a bitter story but in the long run, we all have to tell the stories we have in our bones. You pass that story along in the hope that others may be given out a sense of knowing and belonging. This mother’s day, as it resonates from my heart all the words and wisdom that my mother had told me when I was young, I'm summing them up here and passing along to my daughters.
I know in time you’ll have to be on your own but when that time comes, I want you to be ready to face the world with courage and dignity, respect to your self and to others as well. Most importantly, wherever you go and whatever decisions you make in life, keep in mind that family comes first and that when things go wrong as they sometimes will, it will be a pleasure to have you back. Do not falter because you’re never too old to sit on mommy’s lap. As you go face this beautiful yet sometimes cruel world, remember this:
- ♥Slow down, don’t be in such a hurry. It doesn’t do any good to run if you’re headed down the wrong way.
- ♥Don’t tarnish yourself with arrogance. Be proud of yourself but don’t get so big that you forget where you came from.
- ♥Honesty is the best policy. No one was ever ruined to tell the truth.
- ♥You are not alone in this world and you are responsible for more than yourself. Be considerate of other people.
- ♥On bad days, remember that it will only get better and your day will come.
- ♥Do not forget your devotion to your family.
- ♥And lastly, believe. Have faith. Pray.
On my 18th birthday, my mom gave me a lovely birthday card and in a missive, it says: “I am so blessed to have you in my life and never will I be far.” In time for Mother’s day, it’s time I say this back to her: “I am so blessed to have you in my life and never will I be far”.
May the legacy and love continue to flourish in our hearts, mother-daughter, daughter-mother.
I love you everyday.
Copyright@CrisSp -05/10/12~ Read me: "The heart of my soul speaks to the soul of my heart by writing." ~
For "K & KC"~
Beautiful Mother's Day Gift ideas:
© 2012 CrisSp