A Mother's Bleeding Heart
My son, my dream come true, the first one in my womb, my joy, the epitome of my womanhood, the extension of my bloodline; how come my heart bleeds for you?
Who can fathom the mystery and depths of a mother's heart?
It's warm and hot as the oven of Nebuchadnezzar and as deep as the earth's core;
No nothing can compare;
I was an innocent virgin at 18 years old when I first fell in love with a very awesomely beautiful baby boy of a neighbor;
I kept visiting the baby in their home and that was when my dream to have a baby boy just like that of my own;
The thought of getting married first as a prerequisite to have a baby had never occurred in me;
But then one day everything fell into places and I was pregnant at age 20;
I prayed that the baby in my womb would be a boy and as beautiful as that baby boy of our neighbor;
Then I delivered the baby;
Lo and behold!
The baby was a 12-lb healthy baby boy, my own!
My dream come true!
Then my world had changed completely;
He is now the center of my universe.
From then on, everything I did was for the brilliant future of my son;
I had foreseen my son as a brilliant boy in school;
I resolved to mold my son into a creative and productive citizen;
To inculcate in him the values of being human;
To mold him into the most beautiful person that he can ever be;
I pampered him with material things and provided him for everything he would need for whatever he desired to do;
I made predictions that one day he will be one of the youngest millionaire;
I thought and dreamed of everything a mother can do to make her son the best person that he can be;
And most of all, I love him with a kind of love that only a mother can give.
Everything was fine until one day my son became a father at 17 when he was far from even supporting himself;
He was just a freshman in college;
The first trauma of my life; I should have liked him to become a Doctor first, or an Engineer, or anything that he desired to become in his maturity so that he will be a responsible and loving husband and father to his own family in the future;
I denied myself and had focused to do my best to support him, emotionally, financially, spiritually, psychologically just so he can succeed in whatever endeavor he would set for himself;
But he seemed to have ignored what I had strive for his own good;
My heart has started bleeding;
What have I done?
Is my love and support for him not enough to make him the person that he should be?
He is my little prince and treated him so; prepared him to be so in the best way that I can;
Where did I go wrong?
Then, mother as I am, I had to continue loving my son and supporting him despite the mistakes and heartaches;
I had accepted his family and had strive to love his unlovable wife like she is my own daughter;
Besides, I love my grandchildren so much;
I had known for some time now; about five years that something wrong had been going on in my son's marriage and I was even wondering who is that baby that my daughter-in-law is carrying in this photo;
Nobody told me that I have a new grandson; then the truth came; she has a baby sired by an unknown father; definitely not my son.
My confusion was now cleared and the truth had just dawned in me when yesterday, my son brought this new woman that he will marry;
God! Can I forgive myself? What have I done to my son?
Where did I go wrong?
No, I don't know my son anymore...
He does not need me anymore;
His financial success and in business had lifted him up high above the pedestal;
He is now a stranger to me;
Where's my son?
Where's my baby?