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A Pat On The Back For Single Mothers

Updated on May 3, 2012

The Complex Art of Single Parenting

Single parenting is one of most isolating situations to be in. Most people do not start off deciding to be single parents but life can happen. However once you have settled in the role you soon pick up several skills you may not necessarily be taught.

You learn to be self less in your devotion to your children. You soon let go of the wiles of your generation because of the intense hands-on that single parenting demands.

Planning is a must for single parents. They have to plan the day, the week, the month the school term and the holidays and the year.

Many single parents make fantastic accountants. If the national budget for many countries were given to the single parent they would do a better job than many of the finance departments because they have learnt to stretch the pound/dollar beyond limits. It's always a case of prioritising the needs of the family and budgeting to the last penny. You do not shop in the Selfridges and Harrods of this world instead you shop at the lower end, more affordable shops, combing the sales section or if push comes to shove rummaging through in charity shops.

When you invite them to a party where everyone is expected to bring a bottle of wine, the recipient needs to be thankful of this widow's mite. At the back of your mind, you are thinking, that was the cost of a box of washing powder which would have lasted a week maybe. To go out for a meal even to McDonalds with the children, the cost for 2 to 3 people easily amounts to home cooked pasta/potato and minced meat meals and a pot of soup for four days.

They soon learn that it is healthier for their children to have water than to have drinks which will not only make them hyper but affect their teeth and diet. Unless you are a sandwich maker or a baker you do not know how many slices of bread are in a loaf. The single parent is aware of how long a loaf of bread will last because they would have counted the slices and accounted for every slice.

Where with the two parent family, one parent could be responsible for dropping off children to school and extra curricula activities, cook a meal for a change, talk to the child about a gender issue, support the child with their homework, the single-parent does not have that luxury. They will often try and get around the homework, arrange with their network of support to get the children off to the extra curricula activities. Their duties range from planning for every meal to trying to discover aspects.issues about the other gender which they may have no clue about and address it with the child of the opposite gender. I remember my father trying to advise me on female matters which I knew enough about having been in a girl’s boarding school for four years, at the time. Of course, I put him out of his misery by telling him I had been briefed at school.

Many single parents have to balance the needs of their family against their raging hormones. So at their peak when they should be in a regular sexual relationship, they often find themselves on their own because of the children and they have to curb their yearnings. Climbing the walls unaided would have been easier than this, my friend used to say.

Often this can be very frustrating and could lead to the development of other bad habits like depression, drinking, unattractiveness and God knows what else. However, the awkwardness of dating and trying to keep their relationships alive makes them remain celibate far longer than they would have ever imagined or planned.

The single parent can also have difficulty addressing certain problems, particularly, what to do in the event of falling ill. In such instances, the network will be relied upon to give the relevant support. Most times this cannot be discussed with the children. As well as this, the single parent can not always discuss problems at work with the children.

As if they do not have enough on their plate and although they appear totally involved in their children, the single parent still makes time for their parents and siblings and all other duties.

How great ye are single parents! How great ye are!


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    • ThussaysNanaMarie profile image

      ThussaysNanaMarie 6 years ago from In my oyster

      Hang in there! It will pay off in a big way later.

    • ThussaysNanaMarie profile image

      ThussaysNanaMarie 6 years ago from In my oyster

      Thankyou so much.

    • lovelife08 profile image

      lovelife08 6 years ago from United States

      Awesome hub! I am a single mother and am studying to be an accountant. Voted up!