ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How Spiritual Journaling Healed My Father-Daughter Issues After His Death

Updated on January 16, 2016

Spiritual Journaling Benefits & Steps

Spiritual Journaling helped me heal issues of guilt and unforgiveness concerning my father after he died. It is a resourceful tool, which contains several techniques that can be instrumental in disciplining you to discover and document your spiritual journey. Keeping a history of God’s faithful presence throughout your life can serve as a source of encouragement during personal reflection and in sharing with others. It can also become the foundation of your memoirs/testimony as a legacy for generations following.

The Dialogue method will allow you to address persons, projects, your body, events, inner realities, and ideas, where guilt, pain or questions emerge. The steps include: 1) Recall and write out in great detail the whole situation; 2) Offer the situation to God in prayer; and 3) Begin the dialogue regarding the details. “In doing so, you will often receive insight as to what is required in the present to defuse (or grow beyond) the past”. (Spiritual Journaling … by Richard Peace).

In 2005, I attended a Spiritual Journaling class, using Richard Peace's book, that yielded surprising results in helping me to heal, on a deeper level, some age old issues that were still very present with me. Practicing the Dialogue technique proved to be the most challenging and revealing experiences of the class. I share my experience of healing, forgiveness, and hope, with the prayerful intention to facilitate healing in someone with a similar circumstance or inspire someone to explore the practice of spiritual journaling and incorporate it into their own process of self discovery.

The Acknowledgment

I acknowledged in my latter years that my heart’s desire, my passion in life since about age 15 was: I yearned for a soul mate to love with my whole heart. Someone who understood me and loved me inside and out from the imperfect outer shell to the depth of my being. For 32 years, I remained in a holding pattern, wondering if I would ever get the opportunity to release the abundance of love I possessed. A love that used to seem so intense it overwhelmed me when I pondered the possibility of releasing it within the confines of the divine relationship I long awaited. I came to believe that the desire stemmed from the following two childhood factors:

1. Although I was acquainted with many people growing up and participated in social activities, I was always a loner at heart; a deep thinker, who often felt misunderstood at the core and who was more comfortable at home reading a book, watching TV, or taking a nap.

2. I never had a civil relationship with my biological father during his lifetime; in fact, our interactions were basically non-existent.

RIP: Remembering Is Possessing
RIP: Remembering Is Possessing | Source

Dialogue with my Biological Father

Me: Father, I’m sorry for my behavior during most of your life. I didn’t know how to do it different at the time and I was operating out of a child’s perception of distorted facts. I guess I took after mommy with my attitude. Remember, everything was either black or white with no shades of gray in between.

Father: Jo Anne, why were you so cold and distant every time I tried reconnecting with you? We never talked.

Me: Father, I believed that you had abandoned your children because you were mad at mommy; and I felt that if you really loved us, you would have maintained your responsibilities. I felt like you wronged us, so I cut you off emotionally. I apologize for never treating you with love (from my recollections) and I repent for not being spiritually mature enough to seek you out and share my faith after I received the Lord.

Father: Jo Anne, I can’t say that I wasn’t saddened and hurt by your treatment of me, but I am thankful that you eventually became civil. You did stop referring to me by my last name only and you stopped looking at me with disgust and contempt. I never held it against you; I named you and have always loved you.

Me: Thank you, Father, and forgive me for not sharing my hope with you when you were at your lowest. I regret the wasted years of never knowing you as a person or a father. I did eventually come to realize that I was wrong about you and had acquired some of your attributes, like your good-natured personality, dancing ability, and sense of humor. I think that our lack of relationship and understanding have been the seedling for my heart’s desire. I love you Father and hope to rejoice with you on the other side.

Source

Dialogue with my Heavenly Daddy

God: My daughter, “Yes Daddy,” I have already forgiven you for that and it is time for you to release it completely. “I know Daddy, but-” JO ANNE! I know you are fearful that your father died in his sin and you blame yourself for not being a witness.

Me: Yes Daddy, I don’t even know exactly when or where or of what he died, but I know he wasn’t doing well and that his life and his choices had taken a toll on his health and his physical body.

God: Let it go my daughter, it is what it is. Release the past in order to be completely healed and embrace your future. You have repented and are forgiven. His soul is in my hands and I will render the judgment of lives lived. Learn your lessons and move on.

Me: Daddy, will I ever get this relationship thing right?

God: Baby Girl, when and only when your relationship is right with me and I AM enough for you, will you be able to experience that which you desire most. Until then, you are not ready. I understand the root and intensity of your desire, but to obtain it outside of me can destroy you. As a child, you were an old soul with questions and fears about life that no one took the time to listen to or could answer for you. You desired someone who would love and care for you and walk through this journey of life with you. You knew nothing of me at the time, but I was always the answer to those fears and questions and I AM the fulfillment of that desire.

Me: Daddy, I know that to be true in my head and in my heart of hearts, but you know that it has been a longstanding issue with us, and my own personal stronghold to experience your love in the flesh; that’s how I ended up in my first marriage (and I say first because it is my desire that I will have a second chance).

God: No daughter, you ended up in your first marriage because of disobedience. You made your own decision and didn’t listen or WAIT on Me, then you got scared and didn’t know what to do and went ahead because you didn’t talk to ME! To endure 11 years, you prayed for a special love and plenty of grace, but you didn’t repent until 10 years had passed. By then, you were lonelier married than you had been single, and were dying a slow spiritual and emotional death; and as for a second chance, only if and when you are ready.

Me: Daddy, what do I need to do in preparation?

God: Yield precious one. Give Me your whole heart, especially the part reserved for your soul mate. Enter into the center of My will. When you give up total control, I can complete the good work I’ve begun in you. Accept my will, even if it means to live single in a life of service. Open your heart and let me pour the fullness of Me into you. My love will allow you to love me right and true and help you desire what I want for you.

Me: Thank you, Daddy, all that You say I will do. I know that Your will for my life is far better than anything I can will or orchestrate for myself. I have learned and truly believe that it is better to live a full life alone than to live a life with someone and be lonely. I pray your kingdom come in my life.

God: Dear heart, in doing so, you will receive a glorious inheritance and I will reward your humble obedience exceedingly abundantly above all that you think or ask.

Me: Let it be so and so it is! In Jesus' name, amen.

Source

The Healing

After years of not learning the lesson, failed tests, repeating the same class on the topic “Love, Lust and Compromise versus God… Enduring Love, Meeting Every Need,” breakthrough finally occurred. I learned to separate myself, set boundaries, shut out distractions and the input of others, and develop a direct intimate connection to the Source and Creator of all things.

How could I have given or received love without knowing and experiencing the true, pure love of God, who is LOVE! For the first time in my life, I am really in love. I thought I was three times before, but now I know that was just practice love – a yearning little girl’s love, not fully developed.

Pentecost is real; the Comforter has come and is the same yesterday, today and forever. I am empowered and delivered through the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. I walk in confident victory by faith unto the full manifestation of my deliverance.

Do I still desire a committed physical relationship? Yes, but only if God wills it. And now that I am assured I will not self-destruct without it, nor settle for less receiving it, I no longer desire to look or wait around for love. I have entered into an exclusive relationship with Love, who is alive within me. I am validated everyday by a new level of intimacy beyond what I could think or ask. My God, El Shaddai, is more than enough, speaking ceaseless revelations through His word and inspiring unlimited constant creativity within me. If or when it is time, the love I desire will find me being about my heavenly Father’s business.

(Matthew 6:33) “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Inspired 4 U profile imageAUTHOR

      Jo Anne Meekins 

      6 years ago from Queens, NY

      Hi Clicksmama! Thank you for sharing your story in such a beautiful way. I admire your ability to write daily for that year. I aspire to daily writing. I applaud you and thank God for your deliverance from darkness with a mind to LIVE and help others. Continued blessings of peace and love until we meet on the other side, where it's a given. :-)

    • Inspired 4 U profile imageAUTHOR

      Jo Anne Meekins 

      6 years ago from Queens, NY

      Yes, Thank you Peter! I asked God to help me identify and examine the issues and He always helps me see and process. I believe I go through my experiences to help others in theirs, which is why I seek understanding to share the lessons and insights freely so we can all heal together. Be blessed.

    • profile image

      peter j foster 

      6 years ago

      That was a clear, honest, touching and humbling journal. Thanks for sharing. It just goes to show that writing out our thoughts with honesty can bring understanding and healing.

    • profile image

      clicksmama 

      6 years ago from Dallas,Texas area

      Thanks for your article! If not for spiritual journaling I would not be here today. I brought me back up from the dept's of darkness. A place I don't have words to describe. Even found myself praying everyday for death.

      I never read a book about writing journals. It was my desire to tell God I needed Him. My way of releasing the darkest of darkness. The light of God is the only thing that can bring one out of such a dark place. For no lies can hide in the light of truth.

      I spent over a year writing daily. Notebook upon notebook filling all pages front and back. I would write some days a few hours, others 13-14 hours. What ever it took to be in the light of His truth. I learned a lot about myself in those days. I gained the desire to live, and help others like myself. A prayer by a saint came to me. St. Francis. though I didn't know the prayer at the time. The jest of it still rings in my heart. It is in the giving that we receive. In the dying of self that one awakens to eternal light. Out of all that writing the most important thing I came to believe.

      Never to ask God WHY! Who am I to question God. With that realization, came the answers too all the questions I asked why too...

      Today I lead a Blessed Life in my eyes. I found peace here in this world, and look forward to the place God has for me on the other side. In His Time. Not Mine...

    • Inspired 4 U profile imageAUTHOR

      Jo Anne Meekins 

      9 years ago from Queens, NY

      Thank you.

    • dreamer32 profile image

      dreamer32 

      9 years ago from Mississippi

      Very nice well written article! Very inspirational and touching!

    • Inspired 4 U profile imageAUTHOR

      Jo Anne Meekins 

      9 years ago from Queens, NY

      Amen!

    • Christa Dovel profile image

      Christa Dovel 

      9 years ago from The Rocky Mountains, North America

      " only when your relationship is right with me and I AM enough for you, will you be able to experience that which you desire most"

      So true. I, too, have heard these word from Him before. God is so good. Again and again, He is there; and I am so lonely without Him and His love. Why do I ever stray, or shut Him out of my heart? Simply because I am not worthy of His abundant love; and yet He loves. He is ever there. Ever the Comforter and Redeemer.

      God is Love.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)