A Short Note To What Teenagers Perceive
The Relationship Growing Up
It is always a parent's job to look after their children. Nourishing, teaching, caring, disciplining - and what not. This starts from the very beginning when they were and the instinct of having a kid does not stop even if they're adults.
Truly this has a large impact on how they react to situations, and how they communicate to different people.
That is why when you prepare your children for the world - you can't just go from "I will protect you and teach you everything" to "Now you have to do this, that, learn this, that all by yourself." You need to have a transition and explain certain responsibilities and why these are needed to be done. One cannot expect their children to understand right away because they are dependent on you as parents to help them get used to things. [This has a big effect if a parent is absent from the child's life, or having other people of service to be in contact with your kid]
This can be explained through
- "We need you to learn this because..."
- "Let's get you ready for the world but first know..."
- "I'll walk you through this, and after I'll let you on your own because..."
This is crucial to your kid as when they grow up to be teenagers they can be more empathetic and understand going about tasks, and engaging in conversations.
One should be mindful of how they approach their kids and take into consideration of how one has raised them, and what have they learned eternally. If you haven't been there since the start or not followed through in having a transition for your children, then that is fine - it is not the end of the world.
Let's head straight to the point now
You wouldn't be here right now if you're not having some troubles with your teenager (or maybe you just wanna be extra cautious.)
Approaching and initiating a conversation with someone is never easy, but it can be especially tricky if it is your child that may or may not have some questionable upbringing by you specifically. You have to be aware that teenagers are exposed to the internet, human interactions (that you won't supervise 99% of the time), and their discoveries.
Do not expect the following when trying to talk to someone who can't comprehend taxes and trying to learn from the world:
- Being buddy-buddy after a rough patch. [Grudges exist, external contributors]
- Your teenager having a respectable conversation with you [This is mostly their part, but there are things in their everyday life that influence them to react differently in time, and they're still technically children with hormones]
- Your teenager responding right away [They may have the mindset to finish what they are doing first, or they are choosing to ignore you which is a common circumstance]
- Your teenager understanding what you open up with [It is surprising for us that you would want to talk to us because it usually means we are in trouble, we are children who learn every day and try to improve our empathy and human skills]
What you could take into consideration is:
- Your kid may have a bad day, it is important to check on how they are first and, remember that kids may have instincts to hide details from you [This comes by various reasons: influence, stigma, emotional issues]
- Try to be comfortable and not forceful in appearance [standing tall, stern looks] They can misunderstand these signs so try to look nicer [sitting down leaning close with a soft expression; these work to get their attention and be instinctively empathetic]
- Remind yourself to not lose yourself in the process. Having you reach your temper's limits will also let your child lose their grip on a meaningful conversation [You are the adult, and while kids are learning to communicate, please get a hold to save your talk]
- Remind yourself about how your kid reacts and talks to you. It is better to act softer when hostility is met; likewise, it is fine to act casually when your kid has a stable connection with you
- Remind yourself that the stigma between parents and teenagers exist. There is a usually hostile look into this. [Domestic abuse, emotional distance, etc.]
- If you had a past argument, it is best to apologize. This is the biggest problem among parents. Apologize on your behalf on what it may have affected your children. Do not make it all the children's fault when they couldn't understand some matters - It is best to talk about it later on when both of you are in a stable mindset. [This does not lower your standard of being a parent. You are a comforting figure, not an authoritarian power.]
What It Means To a Teenager
Teenagers have hormones
And with hormones comes with complex emotions - different reactions, different emotions, different perceptions. Everyone has gone through this phase, but everyone also had different experiences [Living conditions, family treatment, social standards]
Parents who force themselves (or rather their beliefs, own perception, etc.) aggressively upon their teenagers are usually the most troubled with parenting. The actions may be of goodwill but the impression of such to your children, who is vastly different from you, will take it differently. Teenagers see it as hostility and limiting the freedom of speech that is widely disputed in the world with the help of the internet integrating different ideas and opinions to your kids. You cannot fight fire with fire, so try to not be aggressive and do your best to tone with your child, especially when the tension rises. Remember, they have a different perception as they are a different person - so knowing how to present yourself and knowing your kid is a definite key. This can result in your kid having a hostile outlook in life.
On the other hand, parents who become too soft with their children so they fail at educating them properly. For a teenager, this may mean slight neglect on their part or believing that they are weak (or the other way around!) for tasks in life that they have to be specially treated. This can result in lower self-confidence in your child as well.
Having a balanced act of disciplining and socializing with your kid is most effective. They won't be dependent, aggressive, and unlikely to obtain any symptoms of mental illnesses. A good caretaker would know when and where to act for the sake of their kids.
Recognizing your kids coping mechanisms and signals are important, it's where a parent can identify if it is a good time to communicate with a kid and avoid the worst outcomes.
Once your kid can see through your efforts, this can mean a lot of things for your teenager. Nowadays, a lot of the youth feel neglect and being misunderstood by their guardians. Seeing this persistent love and interaction can also influence your kid to be understanding and communicate well. While kids do have to learn along the way, it is important to be a guide and be aware of what the world exposes to anyone of any age.