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A father's message

Updated on August 16, 2010

A voice to speak with

To truly understand a person and what they are feeling you have to allow them to feel safe and establish trust with them in order for them to speak freely and discuss everything they are experiencing and going through. I have always felt shy beyond words in expressing my feelings and I never truly felt comfortable with others especially when it came to opening up and expressing myself. I have made strides in my life due to the love of family, my personal dedication to my studies and work and really good friends in my life.

I feel it is very sad the lives shy people lead because they feel so isolated and unable to express themselves and share their lives with others. I feel shyness is a debilitating social disorder very similar to autism which also affects a person in how they relate with others and express themselves.

As a parent who has come to terms with my shyness I knew I had to step up to the plate for my son and do everything in my power to help him from day one when my wife and I first learned that he was diagnosed as autistic. It is a very emotional time when you learn your child will have struggles due to something beyond their control. I always felt our son was a gift that we are truly grateful for every day of our lives. As our son is growing and developing it is essential that we allow him to verbalize his feelings and give him our undivided attention and always listen so he can share with us everything that he is feeling and going through. For kids growing up today life is becoming more complicated for them and the expectations are always set way to high. We have to have a give and take and role playing approach to our communication with our kids and allow them to speak their mind and express all they are feeling.

As a father I too need to express my feelings and I have sought a means for doing so by attending support groups with my wife and reaching out within the autism community to those who make themselves available which I truly appreciate. It is always our priority to be very supportive of our children and be strong as we are their source of strength and we are responsible for their welfare. When I think back to the times when my son was a baby I remember always being so careful in how I held him and how we gave him his freedoms to navigate his boundaries. I would say that I was overprotective in a good way. When you have a child of special needs you have to take extra precautions in helping them and protecting them so naturally it is necessary to be extra careful with your child in how they experience their world.

Since last year I have compensated for my lack of expressing myself verbally through writing. As I have started my journey in writing I find it has opened up a world to me that is nonthreatening and allows me to share a part of myself and relate to others sincerely as a compassionate and concerned human being and truly share my love for my son and my family. I had never felt as comfortable as I do now and my vision is to heal from within in dealing with family tragedy so I can help my son. I have shared this wonderful gift of writing as a legacy so one day my son can look back and realize how much I have been there as a concerned father and one who feels truly blessed. I often wondered why we all have to go through life feeling alone even when we have a strong family support system. This is why writing is so important to me.

I write because I want my son to experience through my words that he should never feel alone and that he should always know that he will always have our love and support. I want him to know how much he has made my life a pure joy and I only hope that we can help our son to find his way and take on the responsibilities and challenges in his life and to find joy and happiness. I have become more sentimental in the aging process and have shed tears through the stages of my son's life both happy and sad.

Life is such a puzzle at times and we have to try to fit all the pieces together so we can live our lives and feel fulfilled and complete. To me writing is a means for self expression that is extremely important as it is rewarding and a means for healing. I never knew I had it in me to write but as I sit in front of my keyboard and I think of my son and my wife and all the people who are and were important in my life I feel it is very important to share those experiences. I have been blessed and I don't know any better way to express it then with the words that come from my heart as I translate it to the screen as I hold on to the image of my son as a baby and a young boy growing and experiencing his life in the world we were born into.

One thing about my son is he has a gift for singing and remembering lyrics in songs and lines in movies which to me is amazing! When I hear Matty sing and see how happy he is when he does karaoke I am so happy for him because he really does enjoy it as you will see on his singing videos presented here.

May he always walk with confidence and love in his heart and know that we will always be there for him and help him throughout his life. I am so lucky to have him in my life and it is my hope that he will achieve all he is capable of and live a happy and satisfying life. I want to see him graduate from college and live a life filled with ambition, drive, confidence and a whole lot of heart.

God Bless you Matty! May you always live your life knowing how truly special you are to your mom and dad.

Dedicated to my son who inspires me every waking day of my life.

Edward D. Iannielli III

My son Matty

Matty singing Elvis and Funkytown! Really Awesome!

Matty, Quite the singer!!!

Introducing and talking with my son

Matty coloring his seahorse at Crayola factory


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    • KMattox profile image


      7 years ago from USA


      What a great hub. Your family is obviously very loving toward one-another. Very heartwarming stuff. I understand what it means to be shy and introverted. I started out that way and didn't make any real strides toward being extroverted until I was in my thirties. I personally found as it seems you are also finding, that the world will somehow meet you halfway if you take first steps as you are obviously doing. G-d bless you and your family. Wonderful hub I really enjoyed a peek into your lives. I voted up and beautiful.

    • bayoulady profile image


      8 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA

      Nice to "meet matty" . He is such a smart little guy. I know you are very proud of him. It seems he might be in the autism spectrum of Aspergers?

      My daughter is brain injured and mildly autistic. She sees and hears things that I can't deny are "there" to her.They are real to her. She only has too hear a few bars of music before she can tell me what the song is.She is a fun person to be around and everyone loves just her!

    • ediann profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago


      I am very proud of you and I am always there for you along with your mom to help you along the way. Always enjoy your childhood because it goes way to fast and it is a precious time in our life. Also remember that my writings are to help you and not to label you. You are special and you can do anything in life. There is nothing holding you back. I am just trying to shed more light on autism because more and more children and families are affected by it. My website, Autism Dreams is dedicated to you and my vision is to make it a very valuable resource to go to with your help. It is still in it's infancy.

      Love you Matty!

      Your dad


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