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A life a time and a place

Updated on November 29, 2010

Father and son

Life discovery - Father and son

There are so many things happening in the world we live in and yet we are only seeing a very small part of it and we sometimes wonder what it is that we are supposed to do in our own life. We are learning each and every day and we are living and carrying on with the desire and hope that we are doing all that we are supposed to do. We look to others for guidance and direction and we all are to spend our formative years in school learning to develop as individuals with thoughts, ideas, dreams, goals, hopes, desires and a vision that will help guide us as we navigate and discover life and develop relationships and explore the world around us. We are not always certain of what we are here to do but we will learn throughout the course of our life and will strive for achievement, success, love, happiness, acceptance, friendship, compassion, hope, a feeling of belonging and the desire to help others.

There are so many questions to ask and sometimes the answers are not always so obvious but it is in living and pursuing our goals and our dreams that we will find meaning and purpose. We should always look at our life as precious and cherish the ripple effects that are the result of touching others and being touched by others. We all draw strength and meaning from all who come into our life and we should always appreciate that. I also firmly believe that we draw inspiration from the people that touch us directly such as our parents, our family, our teachers, our friends, our coaches, our doctors and those who come into our life and help us in some way.

We also are inspired by writers who we never meet but touch us with their words and the messages they leave us with. I recently read the book Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom who wrote a real insightful book about the bond of a young man and an elderly man facing his death with dignity and courage and with his wife by his side. It is by chance that Mitch, the author and former student has the opportunity to revisit his teacher from college but now the chance to reunite is under far different circumstances than when he was a college student and are quite sad. In hearing of his professor's illness on Night-line he was committed to rekindle the relationship he once had with his professor and decided he would plan regular visits with him on Tuesdays talking about all that his professor, Morrie wished to speak about and what transpired was a beautiful book that captured a dying man's view of where he's going. where he's been and what it's all about. It will touch you and make you realize the importance of living life to the fullest and providing the best you can for your family and dreaming and holding on to hope.

As I see my son growing and trying to deal as best he can with his autism it is evident he is encountering some difficulties and I so much want to be there protecting him and making things ok for him but sometimes I feel that it is not as easy and straight forward as that. I feel that we have to try to give him his space but also need to closely monitor him through reaching out to his teachers and the professionals trained in working with helping him. We also need to learn how to reach him as he lives with barriers that seemingly are self imposed by a condition neither he nor we fully understand. It can at times be heartbreaking when you want to find opportunities to improve his situation but find you have limitations due to economics or due to time restraints.

I often wonder how I can be a betterĀ father towards my son who is challenged by autism and I find that I have the best of intentions but seem to have limitations that I have no control over. I so want to help my son and give him the best I can and it pains me when I see him have his social and behavioral difficulties and I am not always certain how to help him through those difficulties. Growing up has its many challenges and I have many discussions with my son and try to explain to him that he should always feel comfortable talking about anything on his mind. I will always be there to listen and do my best. I just wish we didn't feel like we live such separate lives. It seems we all feel alone even when we have the love and support of others. It just seems to be that way because that is the reality of life. We go to school alone, we do just about everything alone even when we are together. Our lives are separate though we live together. We need to have more ways of establishing relationships with our children that are meaningful and provide reinforcement in their social development and form healthy bonds that are enduring and will help them grow and feel confident.

Occasionally I will speak to my son on his level to better understand his situation and I will discuss matters of interest to him and also focus on areas he needs to improve upon. I also relate stories of my childhood to teach him about life experience and growing up. I learned from my dad when I was a young boy as my dad would relate stories to me of his childhood as he learned from his dad when he was a young boy. I always illustrate this to my son that we all experience life in a certain time and place and we learn from those who came before us. That is the generation gap as we all associate our own life with a time and a place and we pass our knowledge and wisdom to the next generation as that is our responsibility.

Edward D. Iannielli III

Father and son

In the living years

Father and son


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      7 years ago

      Well one things for sure. Your son has the very dad he needs, to show him the way through life. I also read TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE and I think that your creativity and writing skills are on par. Beautifully done. brownlickie


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