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Adolescence - A huge problem for parents

Updated on December 22, 2015

ADOLESCENCE

ADOLESCENCE

It is a Psychological human development that occurs after the age of puberty till the age of legal adulthood. However the age may vary from person to person depending upon its behavior and maturity and may start even before the puberty and can stay much later till the legal age. It is associated with teenage years of the child. Physical growth, behavioral changes and curiosity for many sensual topics are many of the changes that occur during this period. Each child may behave differently according to the education and teachings gained by him during his school time and parenting. These two major places play an important role in a child’s life. This is the age when a child starts analyzing the society and activities taking place around him. He is filled with enormous number of questions and seeks for their replies from the sources available with him. These sources may his friends, teachers, siblings, parents, television, computer or mobile. But many a times if not answered properly, may fill him with irritation and rudeness. Hence it becomes quite important to take proper care of the child especially during this period and fulfill him with all the desired information. If not guided properly, it may impact him with negative impression and can also lead to many wrong doings and improper behavior. It is a period of multiple changes that involves education, employment and physical changes and even relationship status too. The age comes with rapid changes in one’s role within the family. The child tries to influence the family with his abilities and assert themselves forcefully. But in most of the families they are not treated as equal and their views or opinions on any topic are ignored not taking seriously. During the age of puberty, there is enormous increase in the child parent conflict leading to lose family bond. The major reason behind such conflicts is very minor issues related to the child like clothing, privacy and friends. Parents consider their authority on the child which is not acceptable to the teenagers any more. They are more in love with their privacy and freedom to live, speak and give opinions. This all of a sudden change in a child makes parents not only furious but also protective. It is a disagreement between the child and parent on their opinion of style of living of a child and their freedom. It would be better to say that disagreement is majorly due to the ignorance of both the child and the parent, ignorance of the problem, ignorance of the changes and ignorance of its solution. It is an important challenge for both the parents and the child to be educated about the adolescence, its problems and the solutions related to it. Without proper guidance or knowledge, none of them can tackle the situation and feels frustrated due to the conflicts arising. Not only the parents but the siblings too falls prey to the rude behavior of the adolescent child. Its affect may vary in from person and person and their bonding. Sometimes puberty age strengthens the bond between the siblings and sometimes it affects adversely depending on the relationship between the siblings and their understanding.

Being a parent, it becomes the duty not only to understand the condition of the child but also to search for a solution. Since the infant age, it is the parent who came up with all answers and solutions for the child probing. Here too parent needs to take a step forward to answer the entire question entering a child's mind. Being an adult and a mature person, parents can easily understand the situation of an adolescent child and know better how to resolve them. It is observed that 80% of the parents are themselves not aware of the major changes of this age and are quite away from the social media. This doesn't allow them to understand their child and they could not rightly behave with the child as they actually should do. Ignorance to the problem and its solutions is the major cause behind the harsh attitude of an adolescent child. The problem takes a huge shape when both the parents are working and does not have spare time for their children.

Adolescence

Adolescents of a House Lady

It may be correct that the housewives can spare as much time as they want with their children. But spending time is not sufficient until it is rightly utilized and in the right direction. Understanding the child and his problems is the foremost step to be taken for the betterment of the child. Major problem with housewives is that they are quite far away from the social circle and social media. This makes them ignorant to the latest updates of worldly affairs and the latest problems arising. Whereas an adolescent child is full of endless questions arising in his mind and he feels the mother incompatible to understand the problem and its solutions. This creates another issue of distant relationship between the child and the mother. More over an adolescent child is the lover of freedom that can offer him the freedom to act, think and behave. Whereas a home limited mother still treats him like a small kid making endless restrictions which in turn results in hide and seek game between a mother and child. He doesn't come up openly with his views and opinions in front of his mother.

The most important fact for a house lady is to maintain her social status as per the current society and to gain as much knowledge as to fulfill her child with all the required information. The child should not feel awkward or ashamed in front of his friends and society due to his mother. Else it will create a distance among the child and the mother which would be difficult to minimize. Any human being likes to share and discuss the cases with a person, he is most compatible with. If the child doesn’t feel his compatibility with the parents, he will not come up openly and will feel shy in common discussions. To maintain compatibility with the child, it is quite essential to feel and think like an adolescent child and also to assume the kind of problems and issues faced by the child.

Knowledge and a proper survey has become a necessity to educate the parents as well as the children about the age of adolescence and all facts related to it.

Adolescents of a working lady

Unlike the housewives, working ladies may be fully fledged with knowledge and information related to adolescent children. But there are other problems faced by them that hinder them from guiding their children. As being a working lady, they are required to be focused on their work as well as family. They can’t be lenient in their responsibilities towards their family and are expected to give their 100%. In the same manner, office going ladies have to prove themselves in front of their bosses and management about their capability. This two way pressure sometimes leaves a negative impact on the children especially of adolescent age. This age children are more sensitive in terms of emotions and relationships. This is the age when attitude, ego and emotions are on a rapid growth within the child. If not taken care properly any of the behavior may take a strong position within the child’s brain. This major problem arises mostly with the children of working ladies as the child may feel ignored. Rejection becomes unacceptable to the child of this age due to the growing egoism which in turn enhances the distance between the child and the parent. Most of the time spent by the child at home is all alone without any proper guidance of the parents. This is the period of complete freedom which may be utilized in wrong direction by the child if not guided properly. They have access to Television, Mobile phones, internet and their entire friend circle. Now it is up to them, how to utilize the time and the technology available? Children with thorough knowledge and guidance will use them for their betterment whereas the children feeling ignored and dejected may use them in a negative way due to frustration. Lack of time between the parents and children makes it impossible for the parents to understand their children and the actual problems faced by their kids. Without understanding the situation, it’s not possible to come to a conclusion.

Major task of a working lady is to spare time for the children and make them feel their presence. Child should be able to feel the back support of their parents in any sort of problems. This feel of support is only possible with a healthy understanding among the child and parent. Child should be able to feel the presence of his parent’s ethics even when they are not present. Ethics can be learnt only from the parents and guardians and they are the only support that helps a child even when there is no one to help them. Difference between wrong and right is the responsibility of a parent to teach their children and only a strong relationship allows the child to take teachings in a right manner. Sometimes when teachings are overloaded on the child, he takes it in wrong direction and behaves adversely. Hence the child is required to be treated in a friendly manner and teachings should be given as friendly advice and not as a teacher’s lecture. It is rightly said that adolescent children are more of a friend to the parent than a child. Hence it is required to be friendly and make them a part of all family related opinions.

A better future can be created only by the well behaved and educated adolescent children. Hence it is a necessity to educate our society with the problem of our society children and resolutions related to them. Society is a clump of nuclear families and each family has children of different age group. To educate the society, it is essential to educate the parents of each family. Healthy society will be the result of well aware and educated parents who are responsible towards the problem of their children.

Study and Research on Adolescence

Organizations like WHO, IOFA, are working on different issues related to the adolescent children. It is also essential to survey and research properly:

  • On the facts that are responsible for a healthy relationship between a parent and a child.
  • To understand the problems and issues of an adolescent child.
  • To understand the behavior of different age group in different conditions.
  • To understand the reaction of the parents on sudden change in attitude of the child and precautions taken.
  • To understand the parents point of view over the Adolescent children and their changing behavior.
  • To minimize the gap between the child and parents and create a healthy relationship so that discussion can be done on any topic.
  • To educate the parents on changes taking place in body structure of the children.
  • To educate the children on many issues like puberty, Sex knowledge etc.
  • To understand which type of parents are better for a child and measures taken by them.

The study on Adolescence plays a major role in educating the society and problems related to the children. Surveys and research allows us to analyze the problem and issues related to a particular topic so that proper measures can be taken to overcome them. Without the proper education, it’s not possible to get rid of a particular problem and eliminate it from our society. It allows discussing the problem so that proper solution can be planned.

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    • meenakshibhati profile image
      Author

      meenakshibhati 2 years ago

      Thanks for your valuable feedback. I agree with your comments. Although i am not a mother yet but can feel the issues faced by parents as i have seen my friends and my cousins facing this.

    • wordswithlove profile image

      Neetu M 2 years ago from Pennsylvania, USA

      Important subject, no doubt. I say this as a parent of two girls I have raised through adolescence and am aware of every single problem encountered by most parents. I do, however, think the title is a bit over the top. "A Huge Problem" to describe the adolescent child assumes a bit too much of the negative. The challenge is huge, not the "problem". And success is possible if one can find the right method of communicating with adolescent children, which of course is dependent on many factors. Good post on the importance of addressing adolescence.