- Family and Parenting»
At What Age Should Children Leave Their Parent's House?
When do animals depart from their parents? I was doing a good job of trimming my fence the other day when I came across a nest containing three tiny birds that had not even opened their eyes. I carefully navigated around the nest leaving the tiny birds in peace, hoping that predatory birds or cats would not find their way to this safe haven and make a meal of the miserable creatures. Shortly thereafter, both parents came fluttering nearby making me realize how unwelcome an intrusion I was. I couldn’t help wondering how long it would be before the tiny birds left the nest. This brings us to the same question on man.
Boundaries in human relationships
Birth precedes work, which in turn precedes marriage and children, who come before one's demise. Shortly after birth, life demands that we grow to a level where we are able to fend for ourselves. Animals naturally depend on parental support for survival. A time comes when children too must fend for their needs. That is the time they need to take flight. I love the mother eagle that even compels the young one to learn how to fly early enough in preparation for a difficult future. The nest tends to get cramped up with time.
Too long a stay under parental care makes someone overly dependent upon one's parents. There is that tendency to overly rely on parents with a claim that you are their obligation. After all, you never asked to come into this world. We should stop and ask ourselves when our parents departed from their parent’s houses. Suppose they had taken longer than expected. Would they have had ample time to breed children?
Too long a stay breeds a carefree character that is soon enough branded a social misfit i.e. 25 years going 30+ and still under your father’s roof!!! I wonder why an 18-year-old is considered an adult if they cannot provide for themselves.
A bird feeding young ones in her nest
How to be an adult
Parents demand a lot from children. Financial needs keep growing as the child increases in age. The end result is incessant complaints from parents and orders on how to spend their pocket money. Statements like “Do this ASAP, Don’t come home late, Look out for your sister” become commonplace as parents recognize your mature role in the family. But how do you like being at somebody’s beck and call when you feel you have matured up? Isn’t it time you became a man or a woman of your own? I believe it is a parent’s obligation to pump into a child the need to be independent as you prepare them for your absence in future. After all, you will not always be there to fend for them.
Careful is a parent who feels disturbed when their offspring refuses to grow. Parents tend to be overly protective. At times it is up to the child to know the right time for departure. Children should be cudgeled verbally to depart and if possible, stay with other working siblings who have already found their place in society. A normal situation demands that once a child starts earning a living through work, they should be encouraged to depart from their parent’s house to fend for their needs.
Can this nest accommodate mum including all the adult children on maturity?
A man or woman who is still under their parent’s tutelage has natural needs that require attention. They need to marry or wed. How would their suitors think about them if their age under parental care raises questions? Social branding assigns otherwise responsible persons wrong signals to their detriment. I’m not likely to be yoked to a fellow I consider incapable of fending for themselves. Pertinent queries arise automatically. How would they take care of a wife and their own responsibilities if they continue relying on their parents in their advanced ages? Independence, on the other hand, is an indicator of reliability.
A woman will approve of a character that exhibits independence against one that does not. Nature calls for comfort, safety, and security where life is concerned. These should spread out to encompass physical, financial and social lives. Start your family and you will be branded responsible. Personal problems may, however, delay a person from following their dreams. In this case, parents have to should the burden within a measured time period. Laziness makes one over dependent upon parents.
A woman will approve of a character that exhibits independence against one that does not. Nature calls for comfort, safety, and security where life is concerned. These should spread out to encompass physical, financial and social lives. Start your family and you will be branded responsible. Personal problems may, however, delay a person from following their dreams. In this case, parents have to should the burden within a measured time period.
Laziness makes one overdependent upon parents. Financial independence must be cultivated early to avoid inconveniencing our parents. After all, they have carried their burden. So, why not carry yours?
Baby, when will you move to your own house?
Throw your 20-year old children out of the house because even birds do it
Parents get concerned when they have to control an “overgrown baby”. A child’s physique can be domineering to parents to a point where discipline becomes a problem. Growth comes with physiological needs that might require privacy from parents. Consider the fact that parents too need their privacy. On the other hand, no parent welcomes a child who will curtail the family’s bloodline with regard to biogenetic propagation. There is an innate trend for the longevity of life. Financial independence must be cultivated early to avoid
On the other hand, no parent welcomes a child who will curtail the family’s bloodline with regard to biogenetic propagation. There is an innate trend for the longevity of life. Financial independence must be cultivated early to avoid inconveniencing parents. Learn life skills that enable you to generate money. An adult should experience shame when requesting for finances from another adult, whether they can fend for themselves or not.
Let overgrown children stop being a burden (shame) to their parents. Parents are proud to have an economically productive child. You soon become the joy of the family.