ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Absent For A Birthday, Again.

Updated on December 29, 2016

Cheering You On

Don't forget to wish!

The candles now light the room.

Lung power is needed.

Aren't photos great?

The two of us when our mother was still alive. This year's birthday will not be the same. We too are aging and apart.
The two of us when our mother was still alive. This year's birthday will not be the same. We too are aging and apart. | Source

When it comes to Mary's birthday....

Mary has had lots of birthdays before this one, and I have had six more than she has had.

On so many of her birthdays I was absent. I will be absent again this year.

Most of her birthdays have been spent in New England, a few in Virginiam a couple in Illinois, and even one in England as I recall..

She has missed some of mine, too. I was a world wanderer, and this time I am out west with my family scattered from coast to coast, content where they are with only three of mine close enough to Mary to share the celebration.

When we were younger it seemed that most birthdays might be shared, hers and mine. But living took us down different paths, and here we are again separated by the miles, limited by finances, gardens that need watering due to the July heat that blankets the nation, and getting to "the afternoon naps" stage of our lives.

If I was there this year, my energy would not be as high, but my smile would still be a good broad one, as I reflected on the years that are past, the birthdays I recall, and the memory of the two loving parents we were fortunate enough to have.

Our dad was a professional safety engineer, a gardener, hunter, outdoors man, and loved to fish. He loved us both equally and differently at the same time....the daddy-daughter thing I guess. He enjoyed life into his early 90's coping resignedly with his health limitations, one of which finally took its course.

Our mother was a generational mother. She was home to greet us after school, to counsel us when important decisions seemed major enough to need her wise counsel, and she was outgoing enough to feel that what she taught us about making a difference in our world applied to her, too. She never met a public service project she couldn't identify with and often lead.

Mom was well provided for and enjoyed life and family another decade plus after the lasting love of her life went on before her and she settled in to accept her own physical limitations and succumb to cells the Energizer Bunny no longer recognized, spending only a few brief weeks bed-bound at half past 105.

Mary took on the role of caregiver and performed heroically, giving back love that a loving mother and father had once given selflessly to her. Three daughters and a granddaughter added to her joys and challenges of motherhood.

Now here we are, senior citizens, and the birthdays come around again, seemingly faster than ever.

Our birthdays will hopefully continue to come and go again, separated by 2,300 miles. Neither one of us really lacks for anything except the closeness we once had. A card and nominal gift from me, a card and birthday wishes from her will see another summer end with beach walks for her along the Atlantic seaboard, and the resumption of college sports here in the Rocky Mountains for me.

The childhood birthdays were the best.


© 2016 Demas W. Jasper All rights reserved.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image

      Norine Williams 

      3 years ago

      Very, very touching HUB!

      Oh, how true; The childhood birthday's are the BEST!

      I try to make them very special for my grandchildren and give them "the run of the house" during November, December and January in which most of their birthdays fall! Our house is a 'home' and not some elegant place with crystal and places that are "off limits" (Except refrig! lol)! They run and slide, tumbling on leather couches when the weather doesn't permit them (8) from going outside riding their bikes jumping on the trampoline, swinging on the swing set, and exploring in the creek or making mud pies! I want theirs to be a special as mine was!

      But now, as you say, my sisters (2 now; 1 deceased) and I only send a card or make telephone calls to each due to the distance between us! But there's one thing we all have; "Memories;" beautiful "Memories" of the way we were!

      I continue to be "thankful" in that I can still pick up the phone and hear their voices! I continue to be "thankful" that GOD has spared us to live to see each other get "old and wrinkle" and tease each other about it!

      But what I'm MOST "thankful" for is that "We Know the LORD!"

      Merry Christmas to You and Yours and I pray there are MANY MORE!



    • Perspycacious profile imageAUTHOR

      Demas W Jasper 

      4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      It was wonderful and I hope it can continue to be. Sharing is an important part of life. May God bless you with such opportunities.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 

      4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      I grew up without siblings, so I can only imagine what you must feel. It must be wonderful to have shared your entire life with someone. This is a wonderful story.

    • Perspycacious profile imageAUTHOR

      Demas W Jasper 

      4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      teaches12345 - Remembering birthdays of the 17 grandchildren is a bigger challenge!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      4 years ago

      You are so good to remember birthdays in this way. I only wish I could be with my children on each birthday.

    • Perspycacious profile imageAUTHOR

      Demas W Jasper 

      4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      FlourishAnyway - I did a tape of such memories for my Dad that did just that. One of these days I will set aside some time to do one for her. One of her daughters has "inherited" their shared computer, so these days I get short responses from Mary's cell phone.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image


      4 years ago from USA

      I bet it would mean the world to her to take a walk down memory lane (in writing or via Skype or phone). You're a good sibling.

    • Perspycacious profile imageAUTHOR

      Demas W Jasper 

      4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      ChitrangadaSharan - Perhaps we will try to duplicate those childhood experiences in the next life? Sadly, some would not want to. See my last comment though, for I would be happy to.

      Thanks for commenting.

      We have the heat here too, 103 F. but it is compensated for my our low 17% humidity. It still takes a lot of water for the gardens to stay alive. Cheers!

    • Perspycacious profile imageAUTHOR

      Demas W Jasper 

      4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      MizBejabbers Mary and I have indeed been fortunate to have had loving parents, good times, educations, children and grandchildren, and a life in the land of the free and the home of the brave. It doesn't get much better than that.

    • Perspycacious profile imageAUTHOR

      Demas W Jasper 

      4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      PAINTDRIPS - Blessings to you, also. Do you have that new degree now?

      I'm glad this may have brought back birthday memories, as it did for some readers. Keep in touch. Demas

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Beautiful and emotional write!

      How lovely are the childhood days--once gone they never return! You reminded me of my own joyous birthdays and togetherness with my siblings. Over the years priorities change. We get busy with our family and lives. The love is still there but birthdays are never the same. Just a mere Happy birthday wish on the telephone or exchange of some gifts by courier.

      Thanks for sharing this touching hub!

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      Doris James MizBejabbers 

      4 years ago from Beautiful South

      You and Mary were very fortunate. At least you have good times to cherish.

    • PAINTDRIPS profile image

      Denise McGill 

      4 years ago from Fresno CA

      Great memories and glimpses into the future for all of us accepting physical limitations. It was a very sweet-bitter sweet read.




    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)