Adopt Locally Not Internationally!
The Question Asked "Why people prefer to adopt Chinese babies over white babies?"
This morning I ran across this question. I have to say the topic gets me a bit upset. As an American who also happened to be in our foster care system, and did NOT get adopted, I have an unpopular, not PC opinion on this. I'm sorry, but this will be one of those times where I will likely offend someone.
I simply can not grasp the ignorance around the topic of adoption. With that said, I'm fertile so I can not relate to mothers who desperately want an infant child. I can't relate to anyone on the topic of adoption other than those people who have actually been up for adoption here in the USA.
I do not think it should be legal for an American citizen to adopt from overseas unless they plan on remaining in that child's home country or at least near it.
Anyone who thinks these babies are all legally obtained is oblivious. Not only are many of those babies kidnapped, but then they put these sob stories in place to make people come running to the rescue. These people feel like they did something good when all they did was help a child be ripped from it's mother, and help pay to keep the money hogging adoption agency in business.
So Why Are International Adoptions Favorable Over Adopting From the USA?
- People are lazy and assume the inaccuracies about local adoption are true instead of busting their butts to find out the correct information from local Child Protection Services. Long ago I knew a lady who worked at an adoption facility that coordinated international adoptions. She would actually brag about how she could just tell potential parents that it's "too hard to adopt locally". The parents would just believe her. For her it was just another sale, another commission in her pocket. The people that came to her were willing to just believe what she had to say instead of actually doing some research themselves.
- Parents think they are entitled to get a child without having to go through extensive screening, or assume that they do not fit the criteria to adopt from American foster care. Which leads to me to wonder do they think a kid should just be handed to anyone? This also relates to #1. People assume that they have to be perfect to adopt from the USA foster care system. I often wonder if they want a child so badly why not find out what the criteria is instead of assuming what they have heard is true. By many it is perceived to be easier to adopt from other countries.
- The infertile couples want a cute little baby. They assume there are no perfect babies in the foster care system. Guess what? There are NO PERFECT BABIES ON THE ENTIRE PLANET!!! And really do you think that cute little baby from another country will be perfect once it realizes it's parents didn't want it and it ended up being raised away from their own heritage? All babies have at least one unpredictable less than perfect trait! For some it's colic, for others it is never sleeping through the night, and for others it can be serious medical issues. My logical guess, infertile parents have likely been through hell trying to conceive so by the time it gets to adoption they want to hope for the easiest possible situation.
- People Assume children in foster care here in the USA are well taken care of or not as disadvantaged as international children. They assume this amazing government we have actually protects and provides for the children in foster care. They want to feel like they are doing a good deed by adopting the most disadvantage child they can.
The Realities of Adopting U.S. Children in Foster Care
- There are over 100,000 children each year in foster care who's parental rights have been terminated forever. Either they get adopted or float through the screwed up foster system until they age out to no one.
- Adopting from foster care is CHEAP!!!! Typically adoption from foster care is either free or costs less than $5000.
- Adopting from foster care typically only takes about 1 year when some countries it can take 2-3 years to adopt.
- Each year there is an average of 10,000 - 15,000 INFANTS UNDER 1 available for adoption in foster care.
- All foster children are not "Special Needs" as many assume. However in foster care the term special needs can mean anything from an older child to a child of a race that is harder to get adopted. So when statistics show the large amount that are special needs, understand their definition of special needs might just mean that they also have a sibling in the system. Lets also be honest. If you were to birth you own child isn't there always a risk of them developing a special need? Wouldn't you love them anyway?
- Foster Children are not "taken care of" by the United States government. Sorry to say but that is simply an illusion! Children in foster care are often beat, raped, starved, and just about every other form of abuse you can think of! Just recently, here in my state, a foster child was found chained to a porch with a dead chicken around his neck! This is not some rare situation. So while you think you are saving some disadvantaged child from another country, you can do the same here!
- You do not have to be married, perfect, live in a huge house, in order to adopt from foster care. In fact on average about 30% of children adopted from foster care go to either single parents or unmarried couples including those from the LGBT community.
- ADOPTION AGENCIES ARE BUSINESSES!!! Don't forget this people. Unless they are non profit they are in a business that requires making a profit by selling children. We can nice that up all day long, but simply they are in the legal business of selling children. Why not just go straight through foster care or through a non profit group?
- Getting a foster child is NOT always easy, neither is child birth, pregnancy, or parenting so this should not be a deal breaker. Yes you have to have home inspections and interviews. This isn't a puppy or a fish you are adopting! It is a little human! One that you will be responsible for, well forever. So if getting that child was easy, it would likely not be in the best interest for the child.
By choosing to adopt local you are choosing to give a child that may even live in your city a second chance. If people would only adopt locally they could impact an entire generation of foster children. Can you imagine what it feels like to spend years in foster care, never getting adopted, feeling unwanted? Well I can!! I am the face of foster care. I am the face of someone who never got adopted! I am the face of that "special needs" foster child. I am the face of that "not a cute tiny baby" waiting for adoption.
I have seen what it really is like living in foster care. I can assure you those children are not taken care of fully like many assume. Adopt local. Would you drive past your local pet shelter when adopting a dog, ignoring the hundreds of dogs that need you there, just to go to Mexico to get a dog? Doesn't sound very logical. Be the person to change the life of a child near you. Don't support the business of selling children, and don't pretend like ALL those children in other countries got there through abandonment! Many children are kidnapped in other countries just for the purpose of selling to white Americans.
I can't say it enough people! Adopt locally!!!!! ADOPTING INTERNATIONALLY IS OFTEN MORE EXPENSIVE AND SOMETIMES MORE LENGTHY!!!