- Family and Parenting
When You Are Adopting A Child
The first step in adopting a child is to be sure that you want to – that is, if it is a couple, both must be very sure after having discussed the matter that they both want to adopt a kid. Just one person in a couple wanting to adopt a child won’t work so the groundwork and the agreeing will have to be done in advance.
Then comes the question – should it be an open or a closed adoption? In an open adoption, the names of the parents or the mother are known while in a closed adoption it isn’t. There might be couples who will only consider adopting if the parents are not known but the thing here is, at some point of time, you have to expect the child to be curious about his natural parents. This is something you have to accept and it might be easier if the parents or mother’s records are available rather than a secret so that at some time the child does not go looking for his natural mother or parents and wastes a lot of time doing so. You must also accept that this is a primal need for any child – to know and in most cases, this will not mean that the child will feel any less for you.
Then comes the decision about where the child would be from. Will you be comfortable about the child being a different colour from you? More importantly, do you live in a place where it matters? These are questions that need to be pondered over. You might not have the answers but you need to spend time figuring out what the possible future scenario would be. There are so many options out there – and so many children in need of a home. If you know you can give a child that love, then you need to plan well to make sure all of you are happy. The adoption laws and the adoption process in most countries are very different so you will need to look at them and try and assess which would work best for you.
There are many children waiting for adoption in the United States and you can make enquiries at the various adoption agencies about how to go about adopting a child. You need to also discuss whether you want infant adoption or you don’t mind of it is an older child. Sure, there will be adjustment problems but with the right guidance and help, you can make it a success. It is far easier to get an older child than it is to get an infant for whom you will have to wait. You will also have to look at the adoption cost that is involved.
Whatever the reason, adopting a child is a very noble thing to do and for many, it is the culmination of their dreams – holding a child in their arms and loving them.