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Advice and Tips from One Teen Girl to Another

Updated on January 22, 2014

Healthy Eating

Now I could write multiple things about healthy eating. There's the normal things that people know like, eat your fruits and veggies, and don't eat right before bed. I have found a diet that really works. First off, it is flexible. Second, its normal food. Third, there are tons of food options. It is perfect for teens and their mothers to do together. It is called the shred diet. First you start with the super shred to get your body and metabolism going, then you do the shred diet as an ongoing lifestyle. It really is the best thing I have found, and I have been dieting since middle school.

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Up-Cycling Clothing

Lets be honest. Teen girls go through a LOT of clothing, and it's hard to keep up with the latest trends. Well, today I was searching through my closet for things that I don't wear anymore, or things that are too small. Some things I was willing to cut up to turn into other items of clothing, but some I wasn't. Either way, I found some amazing videos on YouTube about what you can do with old clothing, or clothing that is just too small or too big. See my links below!

Saving Money

Weather you are in college, high school, or middle school, on your own, or still living at home, there are a lot of ways to save money. You can search for sales, cut coupons, and do DIYs.

1) One thing that you can do that really helps save money is to look for sales, weather it be on food, clothing, or furniture. Another good thing is to go to thrift shops and consignment stores. This will help save money if you are moving out on your own for the first time.

2) The second thing that you can do is you can learn to clip coupons. They come all the time, and it's easy to save them up, and stock up. This will allow you to make meals based on the coupons you have clipped. It won't only be cheap, but it will make the meal plan for you.

3) The third thing you can do is look up DIYs. There are DIYd for almost everything: Furniture covers, clothing designs, costumes, party items, make up, make up tools, cleaners, etc. This will save you a LOT of money. It's a lot cheaper to do things yourself than to buy them at stores.

4) Look for garage sales, and go to them. People think they are gross, but you can find really good deals for good quality items.

If you can think of any other good ways to save money, let me know. I would love to hear your ideas.

Telling on a Friend

My cousin has been acting more stressed and anxious than she normally does for the past few months. We thought that it may have been her new medication. We just found out that her best friend had been cutting herself, and my cousin had been sworn to secrecy. The entire time she was weighed down with this burden, and it was really hurting her emotionally. She should have told an adult sooner, but at least she told an adult eventually.

If your friend is hurting themselves, being abused, doing drugs, or drinking to the point where it is effecting their normal every day life, you need to tell an adult. It is better to have your friend be mad for a little bit to get them help, than for them to always be happy with you and die or seriously injure themselves. It's a hard thing to do but the consequences of not telling someone are permanent, weather it be emotionally, psychologically, or physically.

If you tell, and your friend does become angry with you, it will pass. They trusted you enough in the beginning to tell you about something like that, and that shows the love in the relationship. If there is that much of a connection between two friends, it's too hard to be mad for too long, and they will realize that you were trying to help and doing the right thing. They will appreciate the decision you made, and you will have saved your friend from permanent damage.

Parties and Peer Pressure

Let me just say that parents are protective, because of what they hear happens, or because of something that happened to them. They are protective because they know how they and their friends were as teens. When you ask to go to a party, consider the fact that you parents may have done the same thing, and were allowed to go. They know what goes on at these parties, but what they don't know is how you will react to it. That is why they don't let you go. To protect you. Again, it all depends on how much trust your parents have in you. Ask them about it, and ask them why they don't trust you to go. If it makes sense, don't fight it, but try to prove to them that they can trust you.

However, if they say yes, don't get too excited. There will probably be drinking at this party. Just because there is drinking, doesn't mean that you have to drink. I am 19 and have not had a drink in my entire life. Why? Because I don't see the point. I am confident and I don't need drinks to socialize or make friends, no one really does. People freak themselves out thinking people won't like them if they don't drink like everyone else. If they don't accept no as an answer from you, they are probably not the best people to be hanging out with.

Not drinking has a lot of benefits. One thing is, you are less likely to make stupid decisions. You can also help your friends who are drinking not make stupid decisions. Lastly, you could be the DD (Designated Driver) to ensure your friends' safety. Trust me, everyone loves a DD. It's not hard to say no. People won't make fun of you for it. I have never had that happen with friends from my private school or friends from the public school near by. In all honesty, no one in college cares at all because they are all looking for DDs. Since by college, more and more people can drink legally, its hard to find someone who doesn't.

You are not accepting that your friends are drinking if you are the DD. Just because you agreed to be the DD it doesn't mean that you are encouraging your friends to drink. You can't control weather they drink or not. It just means that you wanted to protect them, keep them safe, and keep other people in the area safe. You were preventing a drunk driving accident, and most likely a fatality.

Same goes for drugs or cigarettes. Just because other people are doing them it doesn't mean that they won't like you if you don't want to do them. If they are constantly trying to pressure you into things like drinking or drugs, when you have repeatedly said no, they are not true friends, and not good people to want to be friends with.

If you do drink at parties, make sure that you have a DD, and that your parents know where you are so that if something does happen, they can at least locate you. With a DD you are preventing an accident. If you can't get a DD, it is your decision weather or not to drink, but the best option is obvious. Stay sober and get home safe, or drink and risk getting caught walking home (drunk in public, underage drinking), or driving home drunk (getting in an accident, killing someone, killing yourself, racking up insurance, getting your license taken). It's your choice, but it's really not hard to make the right one.

Making Friends

I, personally, have never had a problem making friends. I have been told that this is because I am so confident. So, here are my tips for easily making friends. (clubs, sports, etc.)

1) Always join one or more extra curricular activities. This will be an easy place to make friends because you know that you already have something in common, something to talk about.

2) Sit next to people in class that you want to be friends with, and don't be afraid to ask them for help or to clarify something.

3) Go to school dances or functions.

4) Get a job. It's easy to make friends with people that you see all the time, and have to work as a team with.

5) Don't make friends with just one social group, make friends with all of them.

6) Don't assume that someone won't like you because of the way they look.

7) Have a buddy on a school field trip. It's good bonding time.

8) Participate in in class activities (or PE activities). When people see you are interested, they will be drawn to you, and try to be on your team, or in your group.

9) Form study groups. Not only is this a good way to make friends, but it's a good way to learn group communication and get good grades.

10) Get a phone number from at least one person in each class. Not only is this helpful when you get sick or miss a day, but it also helps you form a relationship with someone.

Job Hunting

This is a hard thing for a teen to do. Not only are parents asking you to be independent, but they are also asking you to take time out of your weekend to go do something you don't want to do. Some teens want to work and be independent, and that's great, but some don't. If you don't have motivation because you don't want to work, it'll be that much harder to get a job. Here are some tips to make finding a job easier.

1) Apply EVERYWHERE in the area, especially if you can drive, and/or have your own form of transportation (like a bus, trolley, subway, or electric train/tram)

2) A few days after you turn in the application, go in personally to hand in your resume, and speak to the manager about when they think they will make their decisions by. This will make you seem eager and interested, also confident, which is something employers are looking for when hiring.

3) Keep applying. Even if you get interviews and they don't call, keep applying at least once a week, and someone will eventually call you back.

4) Prepare for job interviews. Some of the questions they ask are:

Why did you choose to apply here?

What do you think you could bring to our store that would be valuble?

What are your best and worst traits?

How often can your work?

How serious are you about this job?

What do you plan to study in college?

What is one of your experiences with a difficult person, and how did you handle it?

What is one experience that you've had that has involved good customer service at a store?

With the experience questions, the employer is going to want a specific example so really think about details before you answer the question. Another thing is, you might have to do group interviews. In this situation you are with multiple people and have to prove that you are the most unique and best for the job out of the entire group. To do this you can always offer up opinions and answers to questions first (it's easiest when you've come prepared.), ALWAYS look your best, and ask questions that are relevant. This, again, will show that you are interested and eager to work there. It makes you stand out.

If they tell you that you are hired, be confident. Look nice when you come into work, and try to be excited. Ask questions when you don't understand something, they don't expect you to know everything right off the bat. Don't be afraid to give suggestions or ideas. Make friends at your work place, and always make sure you have at least two coworkers' numbers in case you have a sick day, or need to switch shifts. Think of the job like school. The coworkers are your classmates, the manager is your teacher, and you're there to learn and have fun, while getting paid!

Job Interview Outfits

An outfit like this would be good for an interview
An outfit like this would be good for an interview
Or one like this
Or one like this

Halloween Costumes

What is appropriate, and what isn't? Well, your parents will ultimately decide that, but you should also be able to tell yourself. If your butt is hanging out or your boobs are hanging out, it is obviously an inappropriate costume for a teenager. Some girls may want to try to look sexy or hot, but is it honestly worth it to reveal so much of yourself to the world, only to receive attention for your body, and not who you are. From my experience, it is better to choose a creative costume that shows off your character than to choose a slutty costume that shows off your body. More people are interested in you when you do something unique than they are when you do something that every other girl does. Plus, if you wear a unique costume, you're less likely to be wearing the same thing as someone else.

I don't know where all you live, but even here in California it gets cold during Halloween time. I would rather be dressed as a cute fox in cute black boots, and orange t-shirt, and ears and a tail with well done makeup, then a $40 costume that barely covers my body. I'd be freezing. Now, I am only 5'3" so even if I go buy the skimpy costumes, they still come down to my knees because I am so short. Making my own costume gives me more opportunities to make it look how I want it to, and not a general store bought costume that everyone is expecting.

Another thing is, people won't make fun of you for wearing a non-revealing costume. Honestly, I have heard more talk about how annoying the slutty costumes are, and how people would never hang out with people like that. Recently, I feel as though teens have become more respectable, and respect themselves more than they used to. I am not sure if this is because there are so many shows that are showing them the bad side of making bad decisions like, "Teen Mom", "Sixteen and Pregnant," and "True Life," but it seems as though teens are beginning to have a greater understanding that there are serious and permanent consequences to the decisions they make.

Halloween is the one day where it is deemed "socially acceptable" to reveal more skin than you normally would, but that doesn't mean that you have to.

Some of my Halloween Costumes as a Teen

1940s girl
1940s girl
Typical Blonde
Typical Blonde
Hippy
Hippy
Modern Day Hipster
Modern Day Hipster
Ke$ha
Ke$ha
Nature Fairy
Nature Fairy
Robber
Robber
Fox
Fox

Braces!

There are several types of braces, but when most teens think of braces they think of the ugly metal ones that hurt your teeth and gums. There are Invisalines that are like clear retainers, but they can be extremely expensive. It's all a mater of research. If you are planning to get braces, don't settle, find the ones that you really think are going to work for you, or don't get any at all. Here are some tips to help you with braces:

1) Don't take the date that the dentist tells you too seriously. If he says you'll have them off in one year, expect them to come off in two.

2) The better care you take of your braces, the better chance you have of getting them off early.

3) If you don't plan to take care of them, don't get them. Your parents don't want to pay for something that isn't going to be worth it. If your having super anxiety about them, don't get them. Wait until your absolutely sure you are ready to take care of them.

Again the first two tips come from my little brother's experience with braces, and how he dealt with them. The last tip comes from my experience. I didn't want the braces, and I was fine with my teeth, plus I knew I would never take care of them so I told my parents not to bother because it would be a waste of money. They were very proud that I told them that, and accepted my decision.

Even with out braces
Even with out braces
I accept my crooked teeth
I accept my crooked teeth
Even Tom Curiz's Teeth are off
Even Tom Curiz's Teeth are off

Makeup

When can I wear it?


A lot of young girls ask themselves this question, especially when entering middle school. The answer really all depends on you parents. If they say no, I will be listing some useful tactics to help you convince your parents.

What brands should I wear?


If your parents have already given you permission to wear makeup, a large question is what kind of makeup you should buy. Many people will say that M.A.C. and Sephora are the best, but there are cheaper brands that work just as well. Some of them are:

1) E.l.f.

2) Wet n' Wild

3) Covergirl

4) Maybelline

5) Revlon

6) Rimel

How much makeup is appropriate?


This depends on your parents aslo, but here is what I think.

If you are in middle school, you should not be wearing an excessive amount of makeup. Why? because the more you wear, the younger you are going to look. In middle school, you still have your baby face with rosy cheeks (so no blush), and wide eyes (no eye shadow). Wearing too much makeup will make you look like a 6 year old who broke into moms makeup collection and put everything on. The only makeup you should be wearing is a light powder foundation, a brown or black eyeliner, and some mascara. That's it.

If you are in high school, you could easily add some blush and shadow now that your older and more experienced, but still don't wear too much foundation. Too much makeup can make you look worse.

Tips to save money!


1) Generic chafing prevention sticks have the same ingredients as expensive foundation primers

2) Baby powder can be used in place of dry shampoo

3) Lipstick can also be used as blush

4) Filling perfume bottles with a little water now and then will make the bottle last longer

Can I share my makeup?


It is not healthy to share makeup, especially eye make up. You can get so many diseases and nasty things from sharing makeup, or the tools used to apply makeup. If you have shared make up, make sure to wash the tools that were used to apply the makeup on the other person. All you have to do is fill your sink with hot water and dish soap and soak your brushes in the sink. After about 15 min you can take the brushes out and rinse them with cold water. When drying the tools just dab them on a paper towel. Any other sort of drying can either pull out bristles or ruin the tool all together.

How can I convince my parents?


There are two easy ways to convince your parents to let you wear makeup. One way is to maturely ask them why they won't allow you to wear make up. After thinking about their reasons, try to think of good reasons to why you should be allowed to wear makeup. Don't argue with your parents, simply state your reasons and tell them that you understand where they are coming from but you feel that you are responsible and old enough to make your own decisions.

The second way is to subtly mention the makeup to your parents every so often. You can do this by saying things like:

"Jessica was wearing this mascara today that made her eyes look really pretty. Is there anything I could do to convince you to just let me get mascara and try that out?"

"I saw this lip color on TV and it was mixed into a moisturizing chap stick. Since it's tinted chap stick and not lipstick, do you think I could try that out? If that goes well, maybe I could pick out some more makeup later on."

How can I learn to apply makeup?

For one thing, ask your parents, but if you are looking for a different way, you can always turn to YouTube, and find the technique that works for you. Applying eye makeup is different for everyone. It's good to look up ways to apply eye makeup based on your eye color, skin color, eye shape, and lash color. Looking up things like this will not only tell you how to best apply the makeup, but also what colors are best, and what products will work best for your skin.

Makeup Variations by Age Group

The amount of makeup I wore in middle school.
The amount of makeup I wore in middle school.
The amount of makeup I wore in high school and now.
The amount of makeup I wore in high school and now.

The Locker Room

In middle school, you are faced with the idea of changing in front of other girls. You start to feel embarrassed about your body, and at what rate your developing compared to the other girls. Honestly, there is nothing to worry about. Movies and shows portray these horrifying scenes of girls being cornered and made fun of by all the other girls for whatever reason, but that doesn't normally happen.

All the girls in the room feel just as awkward as you do. They don't want you to look at them, so the aren't going to look at you. Almost everyone is still wearing granny panties, and a training bra, so there's nothing to be embarrassed about. If your breasts haven't developed yet, and that makes you feel uncomfortable, have your mom go out and buy you a cute training bra or sports bra so that you don't have to feel so left out or embarrassed.

Feeling uncomfortable with your weight is something normal. It doesn't matter if your 100 lbs or 200 lbs or anywhere in between, every girl sees herself as fatter than she is. Know that everyone is uncomfortable. If it really bugs you, have a buddy hold up a towel while you change, and you can do the same for her if needed.

Getting things stolen from a locker is something that doesn't happen often, but it does happen. Don't keep your valuables in your locker. Either make pockets by cutting holes in the first layer of your gym shorts, or ask the coach if s/he will lock it in he/r office for the period.

Lending gym clothes to a friend is not a big deal. I can remember many times when I had forgotten my gym clothes and had to borrow them from a friend. I didn't want to wear the extras they kept in the office. I didn't know who had worn those! If you lend out your gym clothes, wash them, even if your friend says they already have. Do not, however, led out socks. Feet can spread nasty diseases and warts, and no one wants that. Bring an old pair of flip flops to wear in the shower also. As you should already know, don't EVER share soap.

Again, if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions for topics, let me know!!

My Friends and I getting ready after PE
My Friends and I getting ready after PE
When getting ready for the senior play, we all had to change and get ready in the same room!
When getting ready for the senior play, we all had to change and get ready in the same room!

Mean Girls

High School vs. Middle School mean girls.

I have only every had two people in my life who really hated me to the core. One was in middle school, and one was in high school. These were the mean girls in my life. For purposes of protecting these girls from getting into trouble, I have changed everyone's names. Remember, these are my real experiences, and the ways I chose to deal with them that worked.

So, the first mean girl I encountered was in the eighth grade. Some parents say that middle school girls aren't as bad as high school girls, but from my own experience, they can be just as catty. This girl's name was Brandi. She was new to the school, and so I decided that me and my friends should try to make her feel welcome. I got an uneasy feeling around her, but figured that it was just me. So her, my friends, and I became close friends. There were four of us that were really close, Alex, Megan, Brandi, and me. We shared all our secrets, had sleep overs, and hung out at school every day. Then one day, I realized that my friends were talking to me less and less. I confronted them about it, and they said that Brandi had been spreading these nasty rumors about me being pregnant around the whole school. I was horrified. I was being so nice to this girl and here she was talking about me behind my back. I was so mad, but I knew that yelling and name calling, or spreading a rumor about her, weren't going to help anything get better. I let things sit for a while, explaining to people that it was only a roomer and there was no need to worry about me. After thinking about it, I worked up the courage to go to the counselor's office and told her that I needed a safe space where me and Brandi could talk about the problem privately.

When the last period of the day came around, the counselor called Brandi and I into the office. I confronted her about the rumor. She said that she had nothing to do with it, and continued to pretend to be my best friend. I was so relieved. Once we left the office however, she told me that it was her and that she was going to take all my friends from me, and she did. She told them that I had been so mean to her and had said all these things about all of them, and they all believed her over me. I decided, instead of reacting negatively, that those people were not my real friends if they didn't trust me, and I started to make new friends.

Brandi would bug me every day, but I would ignore her. Then one day she got so tired of me ignoring her that she screamed at me in the middle of class. That was the day my friends realized how mean she really was to me, and became my friends again.

In high school, the girl was a little different, only because she was more manipulative of everyone around us. Her name was Tiffany. My best friend, and only good friend, at the time was named Emma. Emma and I had been friends before high school because our moms worked together. We ended up going to a private school for high school with a class of only 34, and they had all known each other since kindergarten. This made Emma and I become even closer. Then, a new girl came to the class our Junior year. She was also from public school and seemed really nice. She was Mormon, and had nine other siblings. Her name was Tiffany.

Emma and I became okay friends with this girl, but I got bad vibes from her and didn't want to repeat eighth grade so kept myself at a distance while still being nice.The first problem we had was when she told everyone that I was jealous of her because she stole Emma from me. This rumor didn't last long at all because Emma and I still hung out every day and everyone could see we were still friends. I didn't care much about it, and didn't want to confront her about such a minor thing, so I left it alone. The second problem we had was that she confronted me about not liking her. I was fine with it until she started talking really loud and putting words in my mouth. She told everyone that I hated her and was so mean to her, but again, no one believed it. I feel like every time she tried to bring me down, and no one believed her over me, it just fueled the fire. The third time it became the worst of the worst. She did something that I would have never even dreamed imaginable.

One weekend, I was on vacation with my parents. When I came back to school that Monday, everyone was looking at me weird, and no one really talked to me. I confronted Emma about it and she told me that Tiffany had called a whole bunch of people in the school telling them that she was me, she was drink, and she started to bully them and call them vulgar names. I had to explain to everyone it wasn't me. Everyone believed me because I don't drink, and I'm not a mean person. This made Tiffany pissed and so she told everyone that she was one of the people who had been called and she didn't believe me. She even told the teachers it was me. At this point I was so mad I wanted to hit her, but I knew that that wouldn't help my cause. I started a journal instead.

I confronted Tiffany after this incident and asked her for a truce. We became really good friends after she agreed. We had even shared a bed on our senior trip and did our senior project together. The day before graduation I wore a white lace undershirt, and she asked me where I got it because she had lost hers. At the time I didn't understand she was accusing me of stealing hers, but I explained to her where I got it, who I was with, and how much it had cost me. She said okay and walked away.

We had graduation and I was so happy to be out of high school, but then the worst thing happened. My mom came into my room and said that the school and Tiffany had called her accusing me of stealing her shirt. I was so confused and explained to my mom everything that had happened. She understood, and didn't respond to either call. I then confronted Tiffany myself, and asked her why she would do that when we had already talked about it, and why she called my mom instead of me to discuss it. She said she was sorry, but she felt like it was something that I would have done. When I heard those words I was utterly offended. I proceeded to tell her that I did not wish to be friends with her anymore, and nicely asked her not to contact me in any way ever again. I then blocked her on every one of my social media networks and just forgot about it.

The moral is, tell an adult. It really does help to talk to the person in a closed space. Confront the person. The longer you wait, the worse the problem can get. If it continues, ignore the person, eventually they will show their true colors and get themselves into trouble all on their own. NEVER retaliate with negative actions, and NEVER use revenge to excuse a horrible act. Trust your instincts about a person. If you get an uneasy feeling, don't be rude, but don't become best friends with them.



Mean Girl

A picture I took of Tiffany and Emma
A picture I took of Tiffany and Emma

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