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An Open Letter To Tweens And Teens Who Are Seen As So-Called "Losers"

Updated on September 21, 2010

If you are a young adolescent who isn't seen by others as popular or "cool", who gets ignored, picked on, or bullied in school, read on...

Greetings Young People,

According to the calendar, you have started a new school year after what I'm sure was an extremely fast summer that almost literally seemed to fly by.

I am also fairly positive that many, if not all, of you have been dreading it like the plague because you're seen by your classmates as different in the way you look, behave, or the way you march to the beat of a different drummer, to coin a phrase.

And I imagine that those differences have led to some bad times in your school life.

You have probably spent years being called a "dork", a "geek", a "loser", or a combination of those names. Kids may have done some blatant harm to you such as pushing you into the lockers or throwing things at you, the opposite gender shudders at the thought of standing anywhere near your vicinity, and I would not be surprised if you sat with other so-called "geeks" at lunch, or all by your lonesome.

Or maybe you've been the victim of cyber-bullying, a 21st century thing where people call (or have called) you all sorts of vile things on the Internet for all to see; that seems to be particularly popular among girls these days.

Most likely, you're probably like I was at your age, mostly alone and lonely because you are seen as strange; hardly anybody wants to hang out with you, and the ones who do pay attention to you do so in ways that make you feel small and inferior, as in making fun of you and stuff like that.

Believe me when I say that during the bulk of the seven years from sixth grade to my senior year in high school, I was a lot like you. For the first month of my high school career I remember staying home in bed because I didn't want to be shunned or abused, which is how many of my fellow students interacted with me, calling me stupid, ditching me, and things like that.

I know how it is to be bullied, disrespected, called bad names, and having strong feelings of inferiority and depression as a result of that.

I also want to let you in on something...




Just because you don't look or act "cool", "hip", or "in" like the popular youngsters, does not mean that there's anything wrong with you.

In fact, when I was a P.E. teacher, there was this ten-year old girl who was made fun of regularly and considered by the other kids as a so-called "geek". I went up to this kid one day before class after someone dissed her and said,

"Don't worry, they'll be working for you someday."

Which is often the case, as the ones who were so-called "nerds" in school who were laughed at are often the ones who accomplish great things as adults with seven-figure bank accounts, going to their class reunions in stretch hummer limousines.

I'll bet anything that ten or 20 years from now, you may well be one of those limo riders.

And if you don't believe what I'm saying, try googling the name Bill Gates sometime.

What I'm trying to tell you is that although you may be having a rough time socially in school and in your world at the moment, know that there are people out there that care about you - and not just your mom and dad, either.

Regardless of how bad things may get, please don't do anything stupid to try to become "cool" by changing your behavior or who you are; it's just not worth it because you'll lose yourself and feel like a phony deep down - trust me on this.

Losing yourself and being a phony is never good for anybody, least of all you.

So don't ever change to please people - always be yourself and find friends who'll accept you the way you are, warts and all. I swear that they exist, perhaps at your church or whatever activity you may be into.

Coming from a former so-called "dork", please believe me when I tell you that...


I don't know how to make it any clearer than that, so even though it may continue to be difficult at times, hang in there and stay strong.

Talk to somebody anytime you feel desperate or mistreated, anybody who will listen - preferably an adult.

And always keep in mind that you are worthy, no matter what those arrogant jerks and mean girls say.

Suffice it to say, I wish you all the best for this school year - and I really mean that.



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