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Anger in Younger Children: Parenting Tips and Advice to Control and Manage Child Anger

Updated on July 26, 2020
ChitrangadaSharan profile image

Being a parent and teacher,Chitrangada writes with practical understanding and experience about parenting issues and also provides solutions

Anger in small children
Anger in small children | Source

Anger Management In Children: Parenting Advice And Tips

  • We often come across some children, who shout aloud in anger, or throw objects to express their anger. Sometimes, they cry in an uncontrolled manner, or they do strange things, to draw attention.
  • Anger is an emotion, quite natural and common to everyone. While the adults know how to control it, and they behave in such a manner, as not to make it obvious to those watching them. Children do not have that control, and they do not understand, that this kind of emotion is not for public display.
  • Children usually express their angry emotions, when they think that matters are not right, or as per their wish. Most of the times, the parent understands and addresses the issue, and the child is back to normal.
  • But sometimes, the child becomes too aggressive. So much so, that he or she can hurt himself or others. It‘s here, that the parent's role becomes crucial in identifying the causes of anger in the child, and teach them to deal with it.
  • This requires a lot of patience and understanding, but it will benefit your child not only in his childhood, but also in the later phases of his life, when he is an adult.

How to identify that the child is angry?
How to identify that the child is angry? | Source

How to identify that your child is angry?

It‘s not so difficult for a parent to recognise, that the child is angry, or about to get angry. The parents can read his/ her thoughts, or his/ her body language.

As a wise parent, one can take over the control, and handle the situation quickly, before the situation is out of control.

  • You can see the tense facial expressions, or tense body.
  • You can see clenched feasts, if they are getting angry.
  • You can see, that they start throwing objects, which can be harmful too.
  • Some of them, can even resort to verbal outburst.
  • Some of them, may lie on the ground, and start crying.
  • As a parent, you can identify a particular or specific expression, which means that your child is angry.
  • When anger is aggressive, the child may harm himself, or even attack another child, pinch or bite others.

Anger Management in children.
Anger Management in children. | Source

Parenting Tips To Control Child anger:

1. Try to find out the reason which triggers the anger:

Instead of getting angry over your child's anger, try to find out the reason which makes him/ her angry.

Try convincing the child that it is the anger which is the problem and not them. Take them into confidence that together, (that means parent and child), they will find a solution to overcome anger.

Give anger a funny name, such as 'monster' or 'beast'.

In this way the child will be serious about this 'monster' or the 'beast' not overpowering him again.

2. Teach them creative skills:

Try to keep them engaged in creative work or skills so that their attention can be diverted as soon as they start getting angry.

Children are full of energy. Only concern should be to channelize it in a positive manner.

Teach them to sing, dance, play musical instruments, engage them in creative projects or outdoor and indoor games.

3. Teach them social etiquette :

Teach your children to be social. How to play in cooperation with other kids; how not to react on small matters; how not to get irritated with some friend's bad behaviour but wait for the elders to intervene; how to build up patience and so on.

Teach by example by showing the same behaviour to them.

Managing anger and tantrums in children
Managing anger and tantrums in children | Source

4. Parents Should Give patient hearing and valuable 'time' to their children:

In many cases, it is parent's impatience and anger, which may be responsible for anger in their children.

Children are very keen observers and if the parents fight with each other or shout at each other, the small children also pick up those behaviors very easily.

A parent must set an example before the kids of having patience, of speaking softly and in a low tone voice,

Wrong habits or behavior are easier to pick up. But if they observe that their parents speak softly, are helpful to others, do not show aggression, the kids will pick up those good habits.

Give them 'time' and listen to them with proper attention. Make them feel important, even their small issues.

5. Sports and physical activity:

Children should be encouraged to spend as much time in physical activities as possible. Outdoor games, running etc. produces such chemicals in the child's body, which helps them to overcome stress, anger or any other negative emotions.

Those children who are glued to T.V. or computers are more likely to get angry or irritated.

6. Do not slap or scold:

If you think that you can deal with the anger in children by beating or scolding them, you are wrong.

By these methods you will further spoil the situation. And any hope to mend their angry behavior will be completely lost.

Because they might get scared and will start hiding things from you. They may even start telling lies.

They might become more stubborn and develop a distance from his own parents

How do you control your child's anger?

See results

Finding solutions together:

Once your aim of explaining to your child the bad effects of anger is achieved, try to find solutions with his help. For example:

  • Make a progress chart, of how many less times he/she was angry in a day, or two days, or week, or a month.
  • Sometimes, it is psychological. Ask him/ her to count from 1 to 10, if he/ she starts to get angry.
  • Ask him/ her to drink a glass of water, when there is an anger symptom.
  • Tell him/ her to go out, or read, or sing when he/ she is getting angry.
  • Make the child feel, that both of you are trying to solve a problem together.

To Conclude:

If the anger is getting too pronounced, to be handled, and it is affecting peace and harmony in the family, do not hesitate to seek expert help. Consult a psychologist or a child counsellor, about handling the situation.

Remember, that by helping the child to control the anger, you are helping him/ her to become a better human being, and a useful and better social person in the long run.
If left unattended, these behaviours will become a liability for the society in future.

tackling challenging behavior of small kids, source: You tube

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2014 Chitrangada Sharan

Have you dealt with anger in your child? How did you manage it? Please share in the Comments section.

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    • ChitrangadaSharan profile imageAUTHOR

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      5 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thank you Mary Hyatt, for reading and sharing your views!

      Childhood temper tantrums can happen and if dealt with patience, like you did as a parent, children learn how to remain calm and composed.

      Thanks for appreciating the hub, voting up and sharing!

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 

      5 years ago from Florida

      My son who is now 20, had temper tantrums when he was a toddler. I would put him in "time out" for a while then we would talk about the cause of the anger. He grew up to be a very even tempered, sweet young man.

      Great Hub; voted up etc. and shared.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile imageAUTHOR

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      5 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thank you Sharp Points, for your kind visit and valuable comments!

      Anger in children is an important issue and the parents and teachers should take note of and try to deal with it when they are young. Otherwise it may become a social problem.

      Thanks for pointing out the slip. I may have missed it and did not mean to refer to only 'he or his'. I did the correction.

      Thanks again for voting up!

    • Sharp Points profile image

      Sharp Points 

      5 years ago from Big Bear Lake, California

      Very informative, well written, and very nicely laid out hub. I do not have children of my own but I help take care of my goddaughter now and then. She is a very happy child but she still gets irritable about certain tiny issues. I suppose there is only so much you can do. Towards the end of the article where you list solutions that you find together, they are all references towards helping 'him' with 'his' anger. I am not sure if you meant to do this or not, just thought you may not have noticed. I only noticed because I was thinking of a little girl while reading. Anyway, great piece! Two thumbs up.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile imageAUTHOR

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      5 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thank you Dianna, for your kind visit and comments!

      You are right, the behavioral issues are getting more pronounced nowadays, especially among kids.

      Glad you liked it!

      A Very Happy And Prosperous New Year To You!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      5 years ago

      Great tips on how to help a child deal with anger. These days we are seeing more children with behavioral issues surrounding this topic. It is good to have the knowledge you post here.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile imageAUTHOR

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      6 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thank you aviannovice, for your kind visit and comments!

      Important point made by you. Anger management must be taught, when they are still young.


    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 

      6 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Excellent advice for a child. A frightening thing is to have an adult like this at work...

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile imageAUTHOR

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      6 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks AudreyHowitt, for your visit and comments!

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile imageAUTHOR

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      6 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks Devika, for sharing your thoughts. I agree parents must understand their child's behavior and try to correct it. Because no one understands the child's needs better than the parents.

      Glad you liked the hub!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 

      6 years ago from California

      Very useful article!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      6 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      I have seen anger in small children and that really gets me annoyed. Most parents don't know how to approach the situation. Your hub is helpful and very interesting.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile imageAUTHOR

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      6 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thank you teaches12345, for your thoughtful advice!

      I agree children behavior must be given proper attention and care by the parents, otherwise it becomes a social problem later.

      Thanks for your valuable comments!

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile imageAUTHOR

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      6 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thank you Nell, for your kind visit and positive comments!

      You are right, diverting the mind or talking to them works quite effectively. I remember doing the same to my kids.

      Child anger is just superficial. It should not be allowed to become a habit.


    • ChitrangadaSharan profile imageAUTHOR

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      6 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thank you Thelma Alberts, for your kind visit and comments!

      You are right, anger in children is on the rise due to various reasons. One such reason may be the lack of communication between parents and children due to the busy lifestyles.

      If handled carefully with patience, this can be tackled. Thanks for sharing your views!

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile imageAUTHOR

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      6 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks denise.w.anderson, for your thoughtful words.

      Yes, anger among children must be dealt with sensitivity, otherwise the situation may become worse.

      Many thanks for your visit and comments!

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile imageAUTHOR

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      6 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks billybuc, for your wise words. Yes, anger among kids is on the rise in today's world. And there are many reasons responsible for it. I plan to explore the same in my future hubs.


    • ChitrangadaSharan profile imageAUTHOR

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      6 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thanks Michelle, for sharing your thoughts. Thanks for sharing!

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile imageAUTHOR

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      6 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thank you Jodah, for your kind visit and positive comments!

      Your views are much appreciated. The emotion of anger among children has to be handled very carefully, otherwise it becomes more complicated.


    • ChitrangadaSharan profile imageAUTHOR

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      6 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Thank you Jasdeep Singhji, for your kind visit and appreciation! I am glad you liked it.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      6 years ago

      You have some great tips here for parents on handling children who are out of control. Knowing how to handle anger is so important for a child socially.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      6 years ago from England

      Hi, this is great advice! I remember my son if he ever got angry, I would try to distract him or just sit him down and talk to him quietly, but as you said if it does go on and you can't help, then get help, its such a good idea, nell

    • Thelma Alberts profile image

      Thelma Alberts 

      6 years ago from Germany and Philippines

      Good advice. I have seen so much angry in the children in my home country that I don´t really know what was going on. Well done!

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 

      6 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      This is an excellent article. Children feel anger as much or more than we do. They become especially frustrated when they do not get what they want or someone takes advantage of their innocence. As we teach them to identify their anger and to express it appropriately through physical activity, we are giving them an important life skill.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      6 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Wonderful tips. I see so much of this thing in today's world, much more than ten years ago. There must be a reason.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 

      6 years ago from Singapore

      YES. We should always take steps to rein it in when young. Sharing, Chitra.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      6 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Excellent advice here Chitrangada. ANy parent knows that young children can sometimes become angry and we need to be calm and sit down with them to work out the problem rather than becoming angry ourselves.

    • Jasdeep-Singh profile image

      Laddi Singh 

      6 years ago from (Punjab) India

      Wonderful tips and advice for parents to teach children about anger management skills. Thanks for sharing.


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