Anger in Younger Children: Parenting Tips and Advice to Control and Manage Child Anger
Anger Management In Children: Parenting Advice And Tips
- We often come across some children, who shout aloud in anger, or throw objects to express their anger. Sometimes, they cry in an uncontrolled manner, or they do strange things, to draw attention.
- Anger is an emotion, quite natural and common to everyone. While the adults know how to control it, and they behave in such a manner, as not to make it obvious to those watching them. Children do not have that control, and they do not understand, that this kind of emotion is not for public display.
- Children usually express their angry emotions, when they think that matters are not right, or as per their wish. Most of the times, the parent understands and addresses the issue, and the child is back to normal.
- But sometimes, the child becomes too aggressive. So much so, that he or she can hurt himself or others. It‘s here, that the parent's role becomes crucial in identifying the causes of anger in the child, and teach them to deal with it.
- This requires a lot of patience and understanding, but it will benefit your child not only in his childhood, but also in the later phases of his life, when he is an adult.
How to identify that your child is angry?
It‘s not so difficult for a parent to recognise, that the child is angry, or about to get angry. The parents can read his/ her thoughts, or his/ her body language.
As a wise parent, one can take over the control, and handle the situation quickly, before the situation is out of control.
- You can see the tense facial expressions, or tense body.
- You can see clenched feasts, if they are getting angry.
- You can see, that they start throwing objects, which can be harmful too.
- Some of them, can even resort to verbal outburst.
- Some of them, may lie on the ground, and start crying.
- As a parent, you can identify a particular or specific expression, which means that your child is angry.
- When anger is aggressive, the child may harm himself, or even attack another child, pinch or bite others.
Parenting Tips To Control Child anger:
1. Try to find out the reason which triggers the anger:
Instead of getting angry over your child's anger, try to find out the reason which makes him/ her angry.
Try convincing the child that it is the anger which is the problem and not them. Take them into confidence that together, (that means parent and child), they will find a solution to overcome anger.
Give anger a funny name, such as 'monster' or 'beast'.
In this way the child will be serious about this 'monster' or the 'beast' not overpowering him again.
2. Teach them creative skills:
Try to keep them engaged in creative work or skills so that their attention can be diverted as soon as they start getting angry.
Children are full of energy. Only concern should be to channelize it in a positive manner.
Teach them to sing, dance, play musical instruments, engage them in creative projects or outdoor and indoor games.
3. Teach them social etiquette :
Teach your children to be social. How to play in cooperation with other kids; how not to react on small matters; how not to get irritated with some friend's bad behaviour but wait for the elders to intervene; how to build up patience and so on.
Teach by example by showing the same behaviour to them.
4. Parents Should Give patient hearing and valuable 'time' to their children:
In many cases, it is parent's impatience and anger, which may be responsible for anger in their children.
Children are very keen observers and if the parents fight with each other or shout at each other, the small children also pick up those behaviors very easily.
A parent must set an example before the kids of having patience, of speaking softly and in a low tone voice,
Wrong habits or behavior are easier to pick up. But if they observe that their parents speak softly, are helpful to others, do not show aggression, the kids will pick up those good habits.
Give them 'time' and listen to them with proper attention. Make them feel important, even their small issues.
5. Sports and physical activity:
Children should be encouraged to spend as much time in physical activities as possible. Outdoor games, running etc. produces such chemicals in the child's body, which helps them to overcome stress, anger or any other negative emotions.
Those children who are glued to T.V. or computers are more likely to get angry or irritated.
6. Do not slap or scold:
If you think that you can deal with the anger in children by beating or scolding them, you are wrong.
By these methods you will further spoil the situation. And any hope to mend their angry behavior will be completely lost.
Because they might get scared and will start hiding things from you. They may even start telling lies.
They might become more stubborn and develop a distance from his own parents
How do you control your child's anger?
Finding solutions together:
Once your aim of explaining to your child the bad effects of anger is achieved, try to find solutions with his help. For example:
- Make a progress chart, of how many less times he/she was angry in a day, or two days, or week, or a month.
- Sometimes, it is psychological. Ask him/ her to count from 1 to 10, if he/ she starts to get angry.
- Ask him/ her to drink a glass of water, when there is an anger symptom.
- Tell him/ her to go out, or read, or sing when he/ she is getting angry.
- Make the child feel, that both of you are trying to solve a problem together.
If the anger is getting too pronounced, to be handled, and it is affecting peace and harmony in the family, do not hesitate to seek expert help. Consult a psychologist or a child counsellor, about handling the situation.
Remember, that by helping the child to control the anger, you are helping him/ her to become a better human being, and a useful and better social person in the long run.
If left unattended, these behaviours will become a liability for the society in future.
tackling challenging behavior of small kids, source: You tube
Further suggested readings:
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2014 Chitrangada Sharan