ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Family and Parenting»
  • Parenting Skills, Styles & Advice»
  • Parenting Advice & Tips

Do as I Say (Not as I Do) How To Avoid Becoming a Hypocritical Parent (Emunah La-Paz Defines You)

Updated on November 19, 2014


Parenthood is can be a rewarding job if you lead by example. However it's not easy to lead with integrity due to the fact that parents are human. Through human error mistakes are made. This article displays how you can lead by example through diligent concepts.

Do as I Say (Not as I Do)

Mother Scolding Daughter.
Mother Scolding Daughter. | Source

On An Airplane the Flight Attendant Will Instruct Parents To Secure Their Mask Before Assisting Their Child

Image of airplane cabin.
Image of airplane cabin. | Source

The Lead By Example Poll

Did your parents lead by example?

See results

Leading By Example Is Not As Easy As It May Appear

Hypocrite definition: A person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess.

Before a plane takes off the flight attendant will conduct certain rules to follow to ensure passengers safety. The advice which always stand out regards the oxygen mask.

In case of a loss of cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will be deployed from the ceiling.” The flight attendant then makes a point to explain to all adults, who are traveling with children, to put their masks on first and THEN place one on the child. This makes perfect sense to me as the child may not be capable of helping themselves or taking care of the adults. The security that a child must have knowing that if their parents put the mask first then it's okay if they follow suit. most important, this advice applies not only to oxygen masks on airplanes, but also pertains to parents leading by example for the well-being of their child.

Some parents know that they are not setting a good example for their children. keeping this in mind these parents will resort to using the common phrase, "Do as I say- not as I do."

The problem with this command is that children, were designed to follow instructions by example. Nothing confuses a child more than to be told not to do something that the parent continues to do right in front them.

Setting A Good Example For Your Children May Be A Challenge

Advice from Dr. Myers ( Ph.D., University of Denver) is an Associate Professor of Communication Arts at Bryan College in Dayton, Tennessee, where he teaches undergraduate courses and MBA courses in leadership and communication, gives advice on this subject of hypercritical parenting. He shares, "Just because a person becomes a parent doesn’t mean that he or she knows how to act like one. This is no more true than when kids become teens. You’ve probably seen it: a nervous parent groveling before a surly teen or trying to be a “buddy” rather than a parent. It makes one wonder: why do some parents feel so guilty about parenting with authority?"

Unfortunately this is more than just an occasional outbreak of bad behavior—it’s an epidemic with at least one root cause: “I can’t be too hard on him. After all, I made lots of mistakes growing up and I don’t want to be a hypocrite!”

To parent well, we’ve got to swallow our feelings of guilt and hypocrisy and learn to speak openly and honestly about what is most important in life.

Babies don't come with instructions, and even if they did some parents are set in their ways and will not take the time to enforce the healthy steps to bring up their children.

Most parents raise their children how they were raised unaware of the negative impact. When we know better we do better.

Some parents end up harming their child do to a lack of knowledge, however many adults survive their awkward family childhood and go on to set a better example for their children in hopes of avoiding the same mistakes.

Steps on How To Avoid Becoming a Hypocritical Parent

For those that do not like hypocrisy and desire to lead by example certain steps can be taken.

STEP ONE: Surround yourself with people who hold you accountable for your actions within reason. There are adults that set good examples and are open and honest with others. Invite honesty into your life. There is a difference between honesty and ridicule. Ridicule is a form of mockery, and honesty is spoken out of love and respect for what the individual is going through.

Don't take advice from people who don't have experience raising children. Experience outweighs a degree in my book. I feel that although education is very important, their is a vast difference between studying child behavior and actually raising a child.

Children Do What They See Their Parents Do

Image of family looking upward.
Image of family looking upward. | Source

Step Two:

Learn How To Hold Yourself Accountable

We all make mistakes. When you catch yourself doing something that you asked your kids not to do, and your child brings this action to your attention, Be honest enough with yourself and your child to admit when you are wrong.

Step Three:

Let Your Yes Mean Yes and Your No Mean No.

If you say your going to do something follow through. There are some circumstances that come up which may hinder you from doing so, however your children will respect you and as adults they will strive to live a life of integrity.

Matthew 5:37

Set Good Family Values That Your Kids Can Respectfully Follow

Image of a family.
Image of a family. | Source

Being A Parent Is Not An Easy Job

Being a parent is a tough job, however we can all have a good laugh through comedian parents who share our pain.

Parenting Can Be A Painful Experience

Parent Advice.

Being A Parent is A Tough Job But Rewarding in the End.

Than God for Comedians that make the trials of parenthood funny!

Bill Cosby On Parenting

This Book Provides Helpful Advice That I Try To Apply To My Life As I Raise A House Full Of Children


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • swilliams profile image

      Emunah La Paz 4 years ago from Arizona

      This is true! It's not easy at all. Our kids are a constant reminder of what we should do better. We are only human as the song goes, "Born to make mistakes." Thanks for stopping by!

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Great article. After two full straight days with my 4 year old I am exhausted. Not because of the activity -- but because of the constant need to lead by example. That is really hard work, unless you are an angel or something.