As A Parent
Our Joy As Parents
As A Parent, As A Human Being
As a parent, as a human being, the feeling of connection to our kids is a very powerful one.
- Whenever I connected more deeply to them, I feel more joy and aliveness that moves and inspires me.
- While this feeling is a natural one, to surface in relation to my children, it's also one that can easily disrupted.
- One of the gift I can offer to my children is how to maintain connection amid challenging situations.
- The challenges may arise, may involve anything, ranging from my children's eating, homework, computer use, mood, friends etc.
- The list really truly goes on. I realise the recognition of the powerful role I can play in catching my self as I begin to fall in reactivity.
- The key is for my self to catch early enough in the process to be able to do something about it in the moment.
- Key to this is appreciating how the thoughts, feelings and actions of my children can pull me into their inner experience.
- If I am unaware of this phenomena, Then I will find my self getting caught in my children's drama, and then becoming one of it's scripted actor, rather than being able to maintain a sense of presence, to help and guide my children through this tricky terrain while remaining always stable and grounded my self.
- Everyday is as well a learning process for me to be a parent, and everyday is a wonderful challenge.
I thank God everyday for the chance to have this great joy as a parent.
Praising Them, Teach And Guide Them To Be Honest
We, as parents have a huge responsibilities on halping our children in having a better manners, behaviors and habits.
- Children need our rewards in praising them whenever they do any kind of success of actions. Of course we can't exaggerate in doing it. because it could be having a very negative affect to the children. We would not want that the children would stop their affort when we stops praising them. The children who grow up getting too often rewards will not have persistence, simply because they will stop or quit when they are no longer getting the rewards.
- Children need to know the importance of being honest, we need to tell them that whenever we know the truth, it always make us happy. They dont have to say only the right thing or the right answer, the need to always tell the truth. And that they should not be afraid in telling the truth. They need to feel that we are here for them, to protect them and to walk with them to their bright future. So they don't need to tell lies or to say only the right thing to please us.
Giving Them Rules
Our children needs rules. We hear very often that we are too strict and our children tend to become rebellions. And if we are more permissive then they are better in their behaviors.
Children who don't have rules or standards of life that are given by parents usualy go wild and often getting themselves into troubles.
As parents, we can not just accepting anything what the children do, despite our unconditional love for them.
We are setting and enforcing them rules to be respected constantly, means we are staying close to them, being warm to them and most of all we are fully caring for them.
At the same time we should as well support their autonomy, allowing them to have their freedom in making their own decisions. In other words, we should not be to controlling to our children. Because they could feel bored and lead to a bordom that will make them do somethng all parents would not be happy about, like drinking alcohol and taking drugs.
When our children are feeling protected and closer to us. And they dont have the need to tell us lies. Or they tell us less lies.
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