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Avoiding Child Abuse By Learning The Art Of Parenting
Most of the people believe that parenting is a natural thing and comes with the birth of a child, especially for a woman. Men living with a family learn it with passage of time and intimacy with a child. On the other hand, a temporary parent, such as a foster parent or a person who wishes to adopt one has to learn it by attending classes and courses to qualify them as parents.
The fact is that an abusive parent can be a biological parent as well as an adoptive or a foster parent. No amount of training and teaching can change an adult’s nature and conduct. What really matters is the fact that a person loves a child and this love is unconditional.
Beginning Of child Abuse
Although anyone can become a parent just be a stroke of luck or even by a careless interaction, but acting responsibly towards your child is not just by a stroke of luck. Child abuse records show that people have been abusing children even in their infancy. This is basically due to the lack of parenting knowledge.
As every child have his own pace of growth and a different timeframe of achieving their development milestones, the child comes under fire for not achieving what the parents see another child doing at the same age. This has been a very strong reason for parents to act irrationally with a toddler or a preschooler.
What has to be realized is that nothing is wrong with the child’s learning but it is the parents who need an additional class or two.
The terms disciplining and abusing are indeed far apart, but the difference in their practical implication has a hairline boundary. Some parents with the intent to discipline their kids very easily transgress across this boundary in to the realm of abuse without actually having any bad intensions.
What is needed for the parents to understand is that this is the age of a child to explore and experiment the world beyond the four walls of the house being separated from the parents. They learn a lot of things from others at play and at school and interact as an individual. They need to be guided but not punished for follies. These kids still need timeout and curfews but not sever punishments which fall in the category of abuse.
This is the most delicate period of a child’s life where the final imprint on a personality is casted. A teen is a person who needs extra careful handling by the parents as after this parents relation with a child will totally depend on adult reciprocal basis. A teen who is severely punished and abused by the parents is likely to become a negative personality who considers many wrongs as rights and continues the legacy of child abuse with his own children.
This is the minimum negative effect, where as it is a proven fact that almost all of the notorious criminals have records of childhood abuse by their caregivers which led them to the world of crime and psychopathic life.
Who needs parenting guidance?
It is not a matter of shame or embarrassment, but a common fact that we all do not know everything about everything. We all love our kids and want the best for them. This best should start right from our own homes and right from a mother’s lap and father’s arms.
A child must feel secure with his parents and have the confidence in his parents as his rescuers from a situation at any age right from toddlerhood to teens. This is only possible when a parent knows how to handle a situation and the best way is to learn parenting to avoid inappropriate action on the part of the parent.
As a parent you should:
· Accept the way your child is as an individual.
· Take advice from parents with more parenting experience and with successful kids.
· Approach parenting groups in your area.
· Read good books about parenting and know about child development stages.
One must realize the fact that when we decide to grow plants and flowers in our garden we do not hesitate to read and get advice about tending to their needs and proper care, then why we should not get the same for tending the biggest treasures of our life. Our children.
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this is a great resource for parents to help their kids grow as successful individuals in the society