ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Family and Parenting»
  • Parenting Skills, Styles & Advice»
  • Motherhood

How a Bad Habit Can Start at Home

Updated on August 25, 2017
Lendell Sapphira profile image

A graduate of Bachelor of Science in Commerce (Business Management Major), I worked my way through multisectoral exposures.

Shouting is a product of a bad habit raised at home
Shouting is a product of a bad habit raised at home

Rarely do we appreciate people for good habits they have. Usually, bad habits are the ones easily identifiable. We easily dislike people who have bad habits like eating too much, using obscene language, telling lies, rumor mongering and many more but most of the time, we failed to realize that we also have some of these habits in us that we failed to recognize. Even in our children, we are easily pissed off every time we caught them telling lie. But do you know that simple bad habits like these usually start at home and not elsewhere. Today, I have chosen this topic to make parents realized things they are not aware of or simply failed to give much attention not knowing that they themselves were the very source of their children’s acquired bad habits.

Telling Tales and Lies

White or black, all lies are still lies. Never can you see in the Ten Commandments, God is telling us to refrain from black lies though there are some instances in the Bible when people are saved because of telling a lie such as in the case of Rahab when she saves the Israelite spies or when Rachel lie to his father when she took ran away from his father with the image she took from him.

At home, we are unaware that we are teaching our children simple lies when we ask them to tell someone that we are not around when someone comes that we don’t want to see. We also teach them to tell tales when we told them pretty lies when we try to hide truths from them. Children are inquisitive as they grow and they try to eject a lot of information from adults around them, especially from us parents. However, because we are too busy of our daily schedule, we use to have little amount of tolerance to answer everything they ask, we choose to tell tales just to get rid of them. Simple as these tales are, they sooner realize as they grow older that their parents, too tell tales and lies. Then they start having them, too. This is just how history repeats itself.

Abusive Language and Behavior

If you just have the chance to interview people committing crimes of abuse, you will easily find out that majority if not all of them have parents, who at one time or another where giving them the same violent treatment. In other words they too, were victims of abuse.

Children who faced this kind of situation hated their parents for doing it. However, when they themselves became parents later on, they repeat the same actions. Ideally, you may reason out that people who had abusive parents must be the ones who should refrain from doing such acts for reasons that they had experiences on that and therefore can easily relate to the pains and hardships those acts may cause to their own children. We may not be able to truly understand why they keep on repeating the same act which they once truly abhorred. Parents who are harsh on their children may have one time or another are led to believe that children need to be beaten for some wrong doings. That’s why they do the same thing to their children. However, discipline and cruelty are two different things.

Every time my children commit bad things which send my blood boils. I make sure my husband take over. I don’t want to discipline my children when I couldn’t even handle my own emotions. Now that my children are grown up and preparing their own family, I told them never to lay hands on the kids when you’re mad. It would not be discipline but violence you are trying to impart. I believe abuse is a kind of spirit that is transferrable and must not be unleashed if you don’t want to hand it down to the next generation. Controlling this negative spirit can be the best legacy you can give to them.

There are some parents who make it their habit to use vulgar or obscene expressions. You may find this harmless by yourself but when you hear your children use the same obscene language, only then will you realize how it hurts you listening ears. We can never say to our children, “Follow what we say but do not follow what we do!” Children are very good mimics, especially the little ones. Once, you hear them say anything or do things which you don’t fund funny, check on yourself or other adults surrounding them that can influence their behavioral habit. Sure enough, you will find the culprit just lurking behind them and it could be you.

Eating too much!

When we are in a social function and we see people taking more than enough of the food in their plates, you find them disgusting but we should be reminded that people like them, not unless they have a rare kind of disease, don’t develop this kind of habit instantly. Usually, this starts during their children and develop more as they grow old which leads to obesity.

At home, we usually show how much we love our kids by feeding them well enough with good food, both quality and quantity-wise. However, we must focus on the quantity or amount of food we usually give to our children. Don’t feed them with more amount than they could take. Mothers especially enjoy feeding their babies with larger amount for the primary reason that fat babies are cute to look at. As they develop into preschoolers, they are feed more, a plateful of food forced on the children to take each meal. This practice goes on and on until the child develops the habit to eat more and learn to appreciate food based on quantity.

A Bad Behavior Brought Poor Management
A Bad Behavior Brought Poor Management

Bad Vices Arise at Home!

Parents who smoke, drink liquors, gamble and indulge into bad vices will surely develop kids who would later have the same habits. A child will always do what he is exposed to especially during his early age. Especially in some Southeast Asian countries where people could easily buy cigarettes or gin from a nearby store, children are asked by their fathers to buy for them while they are in the midst of a drinking free. What is even worst is when a father would ask his little boy to light a cigarette for him.This exposed children to bad vices. Small children would hide themselves and take several inhale of smoke before giving it to the father.

Stealing and Telling Lies

Taking small things from others no regardless of its value could be considered stealing. Children somehow love to get things they appreciates not taking into consideration of owns them. For the same reason that siblings often develop rivalry over toys and other things they would constantly fight over with.

As parents, it is always our duty to teach our children the right manners and conduct. The responsibility on how to turn them into production agents of our society later is truly dependent on us as their first developing years relies on how we deal with them, not mentioning the fact that they inherit our genes.

At home, we often neglect when our toddler get things they like from their little sister or brother. Everyone else could easily give in to whatever whims a toddler could have for a simply believing that babies or toddlers are tolerable. However, we failed to realize that they are just starting to believe the truth in what we actually offered them. Letting them have access or tolerating simple things that actually leads to develop bad habits later must be not be neglected. Emotionally and mentally, your child is developing and this is the proper time to teach them what is right or wrong. Letting him take things he should not will lead him believing it’s alright for him to have. This is why as he grows old, he will learn to steal and tell lies.

Habitual Infidelity

Most of the time, when a person got a long list of marital infidelity, divorce and legal separation, you may trace it in the family, Surely, he is not the only one doing it and don't be surprised to learn that he might have come from a broken family himself.

It is therefore very important to know the family background before getting married. This kind of factor will surely affect a couple's relationship though sometimes it takes long before it will surface.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Lendell Sapphira profile image
      Author

      Helen Dellomes 2 years ago from Philippines

      Most of the time, parents are not aware that they play a major part in their children's misbehavior