- Family and Parenting
Bullying Is A Fad That Needs To Fade
What Does Bullying Mean Today
Bullies are something that a lot of people deal with at some point in there life. The bully can be a parent, sibling or can even be someone that is outside your home life. A lot of people may mistake bullying for something that is normal or acceptable, but the truth is bullying can cause long lasting and very devastating consequences. Bully is defined in the dictionary as someone that picks on people that are weaker through harassment and other forms of abuse. Funny enough and something few probably know is that the dictionary also says that the archaic use for the term bully was for a nice person or someone who was sweet. Oh what a long way we have come in the use of this term. To understand the prominence of the issue of bullying it is important to understand the timeline of bullies. What were bullies like in the past compared to what they are today? Its also important to understand what is different that is causing so many problems with our youth that some of them have even turned to taking there own lives to escape the constant torment. Bullying has probably always existed in one form or fashion however, it was not really noticed until the year 2000 when technology offered a new and accelerated way to harass and torment individuals through the internet and text messages. The damage that a bully can cause to a person can and has lead them to suicide in the past over the years. Even the 1950s style of bullying was extremely harmful. Now bully's are armed with more ways to ensure that the torture never ends. Ninety percent of teens who participated in a research study admitted that they ignore cyber bullying. This shows that bullying is something that can affect almost every single teenager today. Out of that same group 43% said that they had been bullied online. Not many teenagers seek help when they are being bullied either according to this research meaning there are a great deal of teenagers who are encountering cyber bullying that are not finding a good way to deal with the issue. Perhaps the most terrifying part of this issue is that it is something more profound than anyone could even imagine. Teenagers are not the only ones being bullied and bullies are not always children. The more research that is done to understand the widely debated issue, the more disturbing results are uncovered. One study found that some students reported that they were experiencing bullying from teachers and adults that they trusted. The same study also showed that some teachers were experiencing the issue as well. Bullying is something that can be considered extremely complex considering it is something that is affecting massive amounts of people on a daily basis. Adults are not safe from being targeted and children can not always safely rely on an adult for help. There could be a strong possibility that the real issue is that people do not want to address bullying because they would have to admit that they themselves have bullied someone. Admitting to bullying and owning up for the responsibility of the harm it caused another person may be the first step in stopping the epidemic that is growing into quite a monster. It is easier said than done when people are so busy worrying about there own bullies to try to see what there actions are doing to someone else. My theory is that everyone is a bully in one way or another, This is why everyone has a bully. The videos I have included may be difficult to watch but they are the truth that everyone is hiding from. In Adult bully any adult who really looks outside of there own excuses will see there own behaviors reflected in one way or another. Your behaviors and actions may not be as extreme but the truth is you are still acting like a bully to someone. Sometimes people do this because they feel threatened and bullying makes them feel powerful. The truth is most people see themselves as defending there own beliefs or ways but if you have to hurt another person to do this you are a bully. We are all guilty of bullying someone at one point the problem is that most people do not want to see themselves as the bully, but if you are the aggressor you are in fact a bully. No amount of excuses or reasons for your actions will take the fact away and if you do not want your child bullied you have to take a stand and make a change because they are learning it from us. If you hurt someone to make yourself feel better than you should think about remedying the situation in another way. If the person is a bully and you feel you had to sink to that action then you have already begun to be like what you hate. If you apologize or do the right thing and they attack then your action of self defense is understandable, it is when you take it too far and become a tormentor, a terrorist, a bully that the cycle continues to cause damage and be ignored.
Coulter, l. (2016). Bullying Timeline. prezi.com. Retrieved 2 May 2016, from https://prezi.com/dctsyzkn7fr9/bullying-timeline/
Sedghi, A. (2013). 10 years of bullying data: what does it tell us?. the Guardian. Retrieved 2 May 2016, from http://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2013/may/23/10-years-bullying-data
Webster, M. (2016). Definition of BULLY. Merriam-webster.com. Retrieved 2 May 2016, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bully
My Survey Results What Bullying Means To You
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View and analyze results from the What Is Bullying To You SurveyMonkey survey. See actual response data, text summaries and word clouds.
ABC News Report
Resilience The Weapon Against Bullying
Resilience is a weapon that can be used for the greater good. Building resilience can help both children who are being bullied and those at risk for becoming a bully. Resilience is defined as the ability of a person to overcome extreme situations and deal with them in a healthy way. Many people who have weak resilience are at risk for having serious mental health issues. This does not mean something is wrong with them, it is a situational sort of depression that can and does lead to suicide. A person who is resilient is able to deal with bullying by recovering from the issue more easily than someone who does not possess this trait. Even a bully who is taught resilience may be able to change there habits. Bullies may be acting out because they feel like they are a victim and the power that comes with looking like someone people should fear is there way of coping. If a bully had stronger resilience to the things that were bothering them then they too would feel less of a need to pick on another person. In layman's terms it is about having the ability to say that it does not bother you and truly believe that this is the reality of the situation. There are a list of ways that a person can become a more resilient, happier healthier version of themselves:
1. Encourage behavior that is considered uplifting. This simply means creating more chances throughout the day where you have something to be joyful or happy about.
2. Make sure that there is a society that encourages support. People feel more accepting of the pressures of the world when they know there is some place or people at home or in there immediate surroundings that they can feel safe.
3. Having a hobby or activity that is interesting builds resilience in so many ways. Not only does it teach your body how to react in a stressful situation ( physical activities), it also helps to feel encouraged and like you can accomplish something.
4. You would think adults would know how to do this but often we do not know how to calm ourselves down when we are stressed in a healthy manner. Knowing how to calm yourself down lets you take a step back from the situation to understand both yours and another persons behavior.
5. Problem solving skills equip people with the idea that there is more than one way to cook a chicken. In most situations involving aggression or bullies the only action people know is to retaliate. Having other options helps you not become the bully and helps the situation so it does not escalate.
6.All of these ideas were taken from a site for psychology that shows parents how to build there children's resilience. The truth is that practicing them as adults also helps with the next step which is to set a good example. The truth is that children mock us more than we think. They may see a parent stand up to someone they don't like or get into a fight with them. We wonder why our children think it is acceptable to be a bully, it is because we taught them. It is hard to recognize when you are unwilling to see your actions as bullying.
Becoming resilient and strengthening this particular ability is a way that one can understand how there actions affect others and in turn they can more capably deal with negative actions that are directed at them. When you have a deeper understanding of why a person is aggressive or mean it helps you see that pity is a better response than anger and retaliation.
Firestone, L. (2016). How to Bully-Proof Your Children by Building Their Resilience. Psychology Today. Retrieved 2 May 2016, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201112/how-bully-proof-your-children-building-their-resilience
Suicide Is The Option That Kids Are Seeking
Suicide is an extreme measure that many kids are taking to end the torment that they are suffering as a result of being bullied. This goes to show that there may be a serious issue that is being overlooked. Bullying is something that has grown into a monster and the more it is fed the worse it is getting. Homicide and suicide are young peoples response to bullying which suggest that this is not typical old fashioned bullying there is a real possibility that the act of bullying or terrorizing another person has become more than a normal healthy person can handle. Suicide is not the only answer that kids and adults should feel can take away the pain and pressure that bully's inflict upon them. The only way to help is to find a way to relieve this pressure and change the problem that children and adults face by stopping bullying starting with yourself. Be proactive, accept your responsibility in this issue and try to change. This will not only make a difference in your world but it will make a difference in our children's world too.
The Torment Continues After Death
In my own personal life I have witnessed the levels of extreme people will take to make other peoples life miserable. In one instance a young girl with severe depression caused by the bullies around her spoke often of committing suicide. So far she has not done it but the problem continues to be a serious issue. The same people that make her feel this way have no empathy for her depression and response. They even take to social media to make comments about there awareness of her depression. The people that are bullying her do not stop because they know about her depression. In fact they become even more dangerous by saying things like "I wish she would just do it already".In one survey that I conducted most people admitted they had been bullied but none of them think they have bullied someone. One person even said there is an app called burn book created by apple that allows a bullying platform. Technology was made to be helpful not harmful but it seems even companies that we trust are taking part in the madness. This really makes me fear humanity and there ability to overcome this struggle. Young children with no sense of understanding, compassion or empathy. Who knows what will become of the world if this is allowed to continue. Another case that hit home was when a childhood friend lost her daughter because of the pressure from bullies. In the end her daughter chose suicide as an option to end the torment. Later I personally witnessed messages from the tormentors that were all but lacking any type of emotion or responsiblity. They were just as harsh as the message to the other young woman. How can we change this unless there is some way to hold the bullies accountable for there behavior. Yes it is true that the person who committed suicide was not murdered because they are different definitions. However, in a way the truth is that suicide caused by bullying is a form of murder. One person or a group of people lacking any human empathy wanted this result and did what they could to make sure that it happened. This is especially true in the cases where young people say things like I am glad he or she did it. Intent is obviously present and just because there hands were not on the weapon doesn't mean they gave the person any other choice. Since 2012 laws have been enacted to make bullying unacceptable in almost every state in America. Some states have even made bullying a civil and criminal offense. This means the laws in your area may make it possible to prosecute bullies and even sue for the damages they caused in court. This will not take away the pain or give a loved one back but it does start to design a punishment that fits the crime and holds those responsible accountable for there actions. If you have questions about what laws are applicable in your area contact an education laywer. There is always the option of taking it into your own hands and enacting a new law but this is a much more difficult process and should be used only if there is no protection available because of the difficulty of the process.
Laws, T. (2016). Tougher Bullying laws - Lawyers.com. Education-law.lawyers.com. Retrieved 3 May 2016, from http://education-law.lawyers.com/school-law/tougher-laws-have-bullies-in-their-sights.html