- Family and Parenting»
Bullying, the Cause and the Cure
When We Love Ourselves
All We Need Is Love
What is the Cause?
Bullying is as old as human nature, and the cause is the same as it has always been, but now with the twenty-four-hour news cycle, iReporters, and omnivores electronics, we are more aware of it than ever. The fact that the ways to bully someone has expanded exponentially doesn’t change the reason for it but only makes it easier to do and more difficult to avoid.
With all the attention it’s getting, bullying is finally being understood as the dangerous and damaging abuse that it has always been. There is little difference between the abuse of bullying and the physical, psychological and verbal abuse that millions suffer everyday in personal relationships. There are numerous treatment suggestions cropping up with various degrees of success, but none that addresses the root cause and the cure. There are many levels of causes and cures which makes it appear complicated, but, at the deepest level, both the bully and the bullied feel worthless and are in a dangerous dance to prove that they are. If the bullies are successful in terrorizing their victims, they prove to themselves that they are worthless human beings, but it also gives them a feeling of power that masks their feeling of worthlessness still further. The victims already feel worthless and deserving of abuse, that’s why they seldom tell anyone about the abuse and keep going back to their abusers through personal contact, texts or their email. Like the person living in an abusive relationship, they keep going back to the abuser, because they feel so worthless and deserving of punishment. They prove to themselves that the bully is right about them, and that they have no right to live in the same world as everyone else.
What is the Cure?
Just as the cause is the same, the cure is the same for both the bully and the victim. The cure is already within each of us, but most don’t even know it. We are like the man who sold his family farm and traveled around the world in search of wealth, only to return to his village to find that the man he sold the farm to had discovered on the property the largest diamond mine in all of Africa. We already have our treasure within us.
Carl Rogers, one of the fathers of modern psychology, left us a hint of what that treasure is. At the end of his long career, he said that he had studied all kinds of humans from the most innocent to the most depraved and had come to realize that all of us have within us, a core of wisdom, goodness and understanding. If we could activate that core, he said, it would guide us in becoming all that we can be as a balanced and integrated human being. Few of us consciously know that we have such a treasure, even though most of us in our lifetimes have experienced it in many ways. This core is not only the cure for bullying, but the cure for everything that ails all of us, both physically and psychologically. This core of our being is the most powerful part of our mind, a special intelligence and source of all the answers we will ever need in our lifetimes. It’s first purpose is to keep us alive so that it can lead us to all the wisdom and knowledge we need to become complete, integrated human beings who live life to the fullest and interact with our fellow humans in a constructive, compassionate and fulfilling way.
How do we find our core?
There is a simple and free, science based technique that, if used as directed, will quiet our minds of fear and unnecessary thought so that we will be able to access our special intelligence and use it to guide our lives. If used long enough, this technique will change the neuron pathways in our brain so that, more and more, our brain will be clear, quiet and creative most of the time, and free of the static of fear and junk thought that blocks our true intelligence. When this happens, we know instinctively how valuable we are, and we see how much we can contribute to the development of ourselves and our human family. Certainly, no one who is aware of their real worth could ever bully anyone or be a victim of bullying or anything else.