- Family and Parenting
Buying Children's Affection with Expensive Gifts
Is it really a good idea?
If money was able to solve any problem or to foster a genuine bond between parent and child, then there would be less of the troubles that we see in today's society. As people are able to afford more things and lead a better life due to rising affluence, it is needless to say parents are able to provide more for their children, material wise that is. However there is a cost to this increase in affluence, something undeniably intangible and irreversible - time.
As more and more parents head out to work, the time they are able to spend with their children is lessened. Usually these parents want their children to live in a comfortable environment and have all the things that the parents themselves never had. Thus, in an attempt to make up for the time spent away from the children, most parents would substitute their attention and affection with money and expensive gifts. But by doing so, these children tend to be a little on the spoilt and pampered side.
Children in turn, would not understand the value money and importance of the family bond, as the parents are away most of the time, leaving the children in the care of others. These children will soon start to assume that whenever they want something, they will get it, regardless of the cost or effort out in by other people. They will never have to put in any effort in getting what they want, all they have to do is incessantly ask (demand) from their parents. I am not saying that gifts should not be given to children, but everything, even expensive gifts have to be given in moderation and appropriately.
After all, if too many of a good thing is given to anyone without going through any or little effort to attain it, it would be the norm for a person to not in the least feel any sense of accomplishment and appreciation. As a result, that individual would begin to take things for granted and lose the meaning of it all; where everything in life soon becomes meaningless. So if you are looking for a way to temporarily satiate your child's cry for attention, then giving expensive gifts would be a good option for you, but after a while when it loses its novelty, be prepared to encounter a very spoilt and demanding little person - who will soon grow up to be the kind of person you would not like.
What children (especially children who are still young, e.g. infants and toddlers) really crave for is their parents' attention, gifts and money are good, but they are unable to substitute the genuine attention of the parents' (e.g. eating, playing, going out together etc...). The affection that parents assume their children are showing them when they constantly present that expensive gift is but just a materialistic one which fades as quickly as it came. And if it continues, in no time the children will start to treat their parents the same as those expensive gifts - dispensable, if the need arises.