Causes of Family Crises and Their Management
Why lots of broken homes all over the world? When a couple got married newly, they live in harmony and peace as if nothing can make them to have misunderstanding. But after some years of living together, one crisis or the other finds its way.
So many cases have been reported in various courts of Law because of family crisis. Crisis is defined as problems which may be caused by humans or other natural occurrences. These problems take many forms and can give ‘birth’ to other ones if not properly controlled.
Crises (plural form of crisis) have eaten many heads of human beings and other lower animals in the history of man. Experiencing crises can be dangerous and deadly. Any society that wine and dine with crisis do not have peace of mind.
Based on this topic, the discussion is on the causes of crises in families. Some of the bad habits showcased by many people today are because the families they come from were built on problems. Most crimes committed by youths of today are because of the crises they witnessed in their families when they were young and those crises affected them negatively. Some youths that behave abnormal in the present time can be because they lack moral youth empowerment which is a type of youth empowerment due to family crises. Nations are fighting on daily bases to see that the intake of hard drugs by their citizens is limited but all these efforts are proving to be just a mere play. What do you think is the cause of the ineffectiveness of the fight? The answer is because as the government is trying to rebuild the demolished buildings, much more buildings have their foundations weak and porous, which can also collapse within a few second. The collapsed buildings in this context are those who have been taking the drugs, and those whose foundations are weak are those that come from families that have crises embedded in them, who can still go into smoking of weeds or taking of drugs.
Disrespect: This is one of the causes of family crises. The disrespect may come from the side of the father, mother or the children. The father, who is the breadwinner of the family, may be faced with some challenges. These challenges may come in the form of serious sickness that may take years or even lead to the death of the breadwinner of the family. In this respect, the wife starts to perform the functions made for the man. She then works hard to make the money that the family needs for their feeding. The woman may start feeling like a king and began to disrespect the husband through insult. Some stubborn children in the family may support the mother and others may see what their mother does as being inhuman. In this respect, there will be two opposing parties in the family and family crisis arises.
The solution to this problem centres on understanding between husband, wife and the children. All wives married in different families should build understanding and admit their husband irrespective of the problems they are facing. No wife or children should rate the man of the family low or see him as being incompetent. Simplicity should be adopted among family members. Even if any is wronged, one should simply forgive the other.
Poor management: What is management? Management is the process of planning, organizing and controlling of things in order to achieve a particular goal or goals. The problem that many families are having today is because of poor management. Many mothers find it difficult to organize their children and husbands. They do not work hard to take good control of their husband and this can make him to start looking outside to find someone that will manage him well. When he finds another lady and brings her into the house, problems begin to rise and this can “break” a family because two drivers cannot handle same steering at the same time.
Some crises that occur at homes take place immediately after marriages at homes. Men who lack idea of good management spend a lot during marriage without thinking of what happens after marriage. It is painful as many families start experiencing divorce between one to two years after marriage. The husband at times spend much in wedding without knowing that he and the wife need good sum of money to start new life after marriage. This makes some newly married wives to feel tired and start thinking of going back home to the parents. Money is the beauty of every woman and that are to be provided for them. Any man who spent a lot in marriage and wedding without having reserve which he will use to support his family is writing 'invitation letter' to family crisis.
To avoid family crisis due to poor management both the husband and wife need to have good idea of management. They are to make good plans and organize everything about their life properly. Good management will make their family to last until death do them part.
Hatred: It simply implies dislike. When couple get married newly, they find their togetherness as something that will never end. In fact, they see their unity as heaven on earth. But what happens after ten to fifteen years of marriage between some couples. Things begin to take another direction and all begin to bring out their full color and real selves. The next thing is great ‘visit by hatred’. The two may begin to see each other as Satan and enemy of progress. This hatred can bear fruit in the children and they grow with it. Because of this, there results exchange of negative words between husband and the wife and even the children at large. When this hatred grows from level one to level ten, the family collapses and crisis takes place.
Husbands and wives should develop their minds to easily forgive each other. The offense committed by one partner against the other is to be forgiven and forgotten before the next day. It will enhance building of stronger family instead of divided one. Life is not a bed of roses but full of obstacles. When one is hurt, he or she should forgive.
Rules: A rule is a set of instruction that governs a group of persons or organization. The family being an organization of father, mother and children has codes of conducts governing them. The problem is that there are parallelisms between the rules set by a mother and that set by a father of a family. The training given to the father of a family when he was young may be different from that given to mother of a family. Because of that, the man may like to train the children with his own rules while the woman instructs that her own is to be followed. This results to misunderstanding among the two as there is no coherence in the rules. The children who obey that of the mother and fail with that of the father continuously receive punishment.
All in a family should come together and agree on better rules that will guide the family to avoid disparity. The rules of both are to be analyzed by someone who is close to the family to come out with better and good one.
Academic: Crisis may erupt as a result of children having different problems in the school ranging from poor performance, truancy, dismissal, suspension, loss of school fees or name but a few. Blames that come from this kind of failure is usually directed to the mother of the children by the husband. Irrespective of the person that is blamed for the weakness of the children in academics, the truth remains that man always feel to the right in some issues. This problem can result to misunderstanding among couple.
Still on family crisis due to academic, between husband and wife, one may be more educated than the other and earn more salary. If the wife is the more educated, she may use her education in taking advantage of the man. She may insult the husband because of it and can results to quarreling and misunderstanding between them and can go to the extent of divorce.
Families are advised to work together and train their children to avoid blaming anybody in future. When any child appears to be naturally unintelligent after many efforts have been put to sharpen his or her intelligent quotient and there is no improvement, he or she can be shifted to another field to learn something else that can help in future. Between husband and wife in every family, all is to lay low no matter the qualification possessed.
Infertility: It is the wish of every married couple to have babies to call their own as it gives joy to every couple. When couple try over and over to see if they will at least have a baby to call their own and nothing works out, it can lead to disunity. The man starts thinking of how to marry another woman who can bear a child of his own. Because of this, the woman feels depressed and worried. If the man finally remarries as he wished, broken home begins and greediness becomes the order of every day.
Couple should meet medical doctors for help if a problem like this comes into play. Also, they can seek for advice from loved ones, pray to God and have faith that one day all will be well.
Retirement: This is leaving of one’s job when he or she comes to a particular age by the Law guiding the community. Retirement of a worker from office can be one of the causes of family crises as money does not flow in the way it used to enter. Notwithstanding the pension paid to some retired workers, it is usually small for him to use it in sponsoring his family. Due to limited money in the family, misunderstanding may arise in the family. It sometimes gets to the extent where fight is experienced in families in the course of shearing the pension paid to the retired man.
Fathers and mothers should invest when they are still active in the organizations they work to avoid crisis in their family. This will make them to have good reserve to train their children properly to any level they want to attain.
Drug taking: Married persons should detach themselves from taking of hard drugs because it does harm to effective home administration. Any couple that takes it behave abnormal and can lead to continuous fight in the family. The man can go outside and take some hard drugs and came back to see his wife as another little girl and start acting in an unusual manner. The wife is still the wife but the husband was just acting under the influence of hard drug.
Serious counselling and teaching is to be given to the man. At time hard drug acts as magnet to those that take it. Any wife or husband that takes hard drug is to be guided very well until he or she stops it. If the person follows any bad friends, reasons and convictions are to be given to him on why he should quite.
Crime: Engaging in criminal acts by father, mother or the children is a big blow on the face of any family. Oxford Concise English Dictionary defined crime as an action which constitutes a serious offence against an individual or the state and it is punishable by Law. When a father in a family gets involved in a crime and gets imprisoned for years, who do you think will take over his function as a father? The children in the family will not receive fatherly care and this can affect their behaviour. The non-mannered behaviour showcased by these children can always cause crisis in the family.
The father, mother and the children that make up a family should do everything possible to run away from crime as it can paint the image of any family black. If it is friends or relation that pushes them to commit any offence, that relationship should come to an end.
A happy home is that which live in peace and harmony and answers ‘absence’ to any kind of family crises. This electronic book is on the causes of family crises and the solutions. Every member of any family should join hands and give ‘red card’ to family crises. If you are a married man or woman and do not want any crisis to come into your family, there are some points you need to take into consideration for good and effective management. One of the points is wisdom. Wisdom has a lot of benefits attached to it. Application of wisdom in your family will help in running your family affairs in good way.
- United Nations Research Institutes on Social Development (UNRISD) on a topic: Is There a Crisis in the Family? By Henrietta Moore
- Journal of Vocational and Technical Education Vol. 1 No 2 by B. I Okeke, School of Vocational and Technical Education, Nwafor Orizu College of Education, Nsugbe