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Chapters of My Childhood 7: Age 2-5

Updated on October 6, 2009

The Final Chapter of Life with My Biological Family

A little girl, age 5, a kindergartner in a ghetto of Southern California, in the home of alcoholic parents and poverty ~ what is such a sweet little girl doing in a place like this? The wolves were about to attack this precious little lamb that belonged to Jesus.

I remember the day when Dad was out of the house for some reason. Sean really shocked Sarah and me by taking us into Dad’s room and pressuring us to do sexual things with him! I don’t remember if we did or we didn’t. I suppose my brain, by God’s grace, “forgets” anything that might be too traumatic.

It didn’t stop with Sean, either. One night, I was sound asleep in my room that had been turned into some sort of Satan sanctuary by Grant. Dad must have been gone again, I can only assume. I woke up as I was being carried by my big brother, Grant from my room into Dad’s room. Adam, Mr. Randall’s son, was with him. Grant promised to give me his bracelet if I would let Andy and him do sexual things with me. I remember adamantly refusing, but again, my brain “forgets” if anything else happened for sure.

But, I will never forget the day I was outside walking up the street to Debbie’s house. She lived on the corner. Mr. Randall came driving by. He stopped his car and offered to drive me home. I told him I was going to Debbie’s and I didn’t need a ride home. He asked me if I wanted some ice cream and talked me into riding with him. I asked if I could sit in the front seat ‘cause I was a big girl now. He let me.

As he drove for awhile (I wondered why we were driving so far), he started reaching over and touching me very inappropriately. I couldn’t believe this man I trusted as the pianist for our church would do such a thing! Needless to say, he drove me past a field of poppies to an empty field. He molested me there. I was so frightened and so mad, I punched him in the nose. He just laughed at me! He did take me for ice cream when we left that field. I often wonder if his son hadn't gone home after that experience with him and Grant to tell him I was an easy target?

Mr. Randall took me back to his house afterward. I remember running home as fast as I could. My big sisters told me years later that I came running into our house and told everyone what happened.

That same week Sean, Sarah and I decided we were going to play up in the closet on a shelf above the clothes rack. We took snacks to eat. It was so fun! The closet had two doors: one to Grandma and Grandpa’s room, and one to our room. Dad found out we were up there and went to get his fly swatter. We scrambled down off the shelf and stood in the center of the closet waiting to see which door Dad would come in first. He came in Grandma and Grandpa’s door, so we ran out the door to our room. Sean and Sarah ran out the front door of the house, but Dad caught me in our room. I got the worst beating I’d ever gotten. That fly swatter left marks all over my back. I was relieved when Dad calmed down later that day. That’s when Sarah and Sean knew it was safe to come home.

A day or so later, Dad took Sean, Sarah and me to Audrey’s house to spend the night. Dad said good-bye and I remember watching out Audrey’s window as he walked to his car and drove off. I didn’t know this would be the last time I would see my Dad for years and years….

(continued in Chapter 8: Age 5-6)


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    • Shepherd's Lamb profile image

      Shepherd's Lamb 8 years ago from Roseville, CA

      firefly love bug, I emphathize with you. It sounds like you've had a lot of healing to be able to talk about it and I'm so glad that as adults, we don't have to fear this any longer. It has made us stronger and convinced us we can overcome by the grace of God. He comforts me, for sure. Molestation is a real issue in our world today ~ since the stats are so staggering, we can also know the stats of adults who've experienced such things is equally staggering. We can make a difference by sharing this reality and protecting our own children the best way we can! Thank you so much for sharing and know you're not alone!!

    • profile image

      firefly love bug 8 years ago

      I was molested when I was a little girl. I figured it would all stop. I was wrong it was continuoisly but I never said anything because I was to scared. I lived in fear everyday because I was threatened to get my behind beat or hurt someone I loved. I think the positive side was going to foster-care although I was very troubled and mistreated but didn't have to live in fear by being molested again.