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I'm Having A Baby Without Getting Married, Is There Anything Wrong With Being Ms. Mom? (Emunah La-Paz Defines You)

Updated on November 19, 2014

Mommy+ Baby = Just The 2 Of Us.

Beautiful Beginnings
Beautiful Beginnings | Source


Is it possible to raise a baby on your own? This article touches on the subject of becoming a single parent and what you should expect when your single and expecting.

My Time Clock Is Ticking!

Image of a red alarm clock.
Image of a red alarm clock. | Source

Oh No! I Can't Believe You're My Mother! What Was God Thinking!

Image of little boy covering his face.
Image of little boy covering his face. | Source

Mommy Minus Daddy.

I'm 38, time is not on my side. I've always wanted to have children. I have a great career, and I love my company. Now i'm noticing that while I was working hard everyone around me had gotten married. I ignored my biological clock long enough, to the point in which it started sounding like an earthquake. I thought marriage would come easy just like everything else in my life. I suddenly realized that I never dated one normal guy in my lifetime. I couldn't imagine having a kid by any of the men that I once dated, however I tried to make Mr. Wrong, Mr Right, and that did not work out. The best thing that came out of that failed relationship is my pregnancy.

My sister on the other hand is mortified for me. My sister is a perfectionist, she's been married for years, a stay at home mother, and her kids are perfectly behaved. But if you ask me, she's too dependant on her husband. However my sister tells me that I will fail as a single mother, because we were raised by single mother who lacked that motherhood gene.

My sister does raise good points, such as what if I have son, when he becomes a teenager he will desire a father figure in his life. And the question involving "Who's the Daddy?" I've thought about donor insemination, in the past more so than adopting but I never thought that one day the child might ask information about his dad. At this point I'm so frustrated with the actual father so much so that I wish I had resulted to using frozen sperm. The father of my child is a useless angry little man. However I fear that my sister may be right, what if I behave just like my mother this child could be doomed.


Can I Get A Little Help Here?

Image of a pregnant woman holding an empty baby bottle.
Image of a pregnant woman holding an empty baby bottle. | Source

The Facts:

Single motherhood should be taken seriously, just as children that have both parents. Psychologist that specialize in the field of single parenting share that some single mothers have unrealistic expectations. And as usual they are surprised once they realize how hard it is to raise a child. The facts may be harder for the single parent who has to deal with raising a child alone. Giving birth to the child, to getting up with the child at 3:00 A,M. teething, fevers, feedings. Child raising is not something that can be accomplished by one parent.

National Center for Health Statistics Report:

  • Number of live births to unmarried women: 1,607,773
  • Birth rate for unmarried women: 46.0 births per 1,000 unmarried women aged 15-44 years
  • Percent of all births to unmarried women: 40.7%

Choose The Right Father Figure

Image of man holding baby.
Image of man holding baby. | Source

The Single Mother Poll.

Are Single Mothers At A Disadvantage When It Comes To Raising Kids?

See results

The Solution:

Being a financially secure career woman can help provide a good nanny, however children desire to have a close relationship with their natural parents. Surround your child with people who care. In Jillian's case her sister is not very supportive. Pregnancy can be a frightening journey for first time mothers, rather they are married or single a positive outlook is important. Motherhood is a journey in which you will make mistakes, however through the mistakes of our parents we should be encouraged not to repeat the same omissions.

Choose The Right Father Figure:

Church Groups offer great outreach programs for children.

Supportive Grandfather.

Supportive Uncles.

A genuinely spiritually sound person that you've known for awhile can help "water down" the single parent syndrome.

Melissa Writes: "I wish I had a strong man in my life to stop me from Going off when ever my teenage son pushes my buttons. I feel like he needs a break from me ragging on him all the time. Clean your room Alex, do you homework Alex, Put the video games away Alex, and so on. I need a man's help. It's stressful."

The Bottom Line:

Single parenthood, can be a successful journey. Choose helpful trustworthy people to help you. Be sure of yourself in such an uncertain situation by joining a support group that will help you grow in your journey. Take time out to love your child and also yourself. You can love yourself by speaking positive words of faith to yourself. Being a single mother can occur by chance due to divorce or an unforeseen accident, all mothers need to encourage one another regardless of their status.

A Very Helpful Book! The Power Of A Praying Parent

Diane Keaton's 'Baby Boom'

Academy Award ®‎ Winner Diane Keaton Stars as J.C. Watt a high-powered businesswomen who inherits a baby- from her long lost relatives. Her significant other is not into babies. J.C. finds herself facing a situation that she never could have a imagined. Life as a single mother has its challenges, and it can also be a blessing in disguise.

Baby Boom Theatrical Trailer

A Classic Entertaing Movie, 'Baby Boom'

Baby Boom Is A Booming Success.

5 stars for Baby Boom


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    • swilliams profile image

      Emunah La Paz 3 years ago from Arizona

      I admire how you are unafraid to answer the deep questions in life that many ignore. Living without fear shows faith Thanks for your thought provoking words view of wisdom VVanNess.

    • VVanNess profile image

      Victoria Van Ness 3 years ago from Prescott Valley

      You know, I didn't get married until 31. For many years, with my strong desire to have a family, I was ready to go find a way to have a child on my own, husband or not. I figured maybe it was meant to be this way. I was going to be a little backwards.

      But in today's world with modern conveniences and technology, why should I have to wait to have a ring on my finger before I could start the big family I wanted? It didn't work out that way though, and now I'm 33 and we've been struggling to conceive for two years now.

      I've been questioning whether that would have been the way to go. Would it have been difficult? Absolutely. Would it have been a challenge? Absolutely. Will having a husband make it less difficult? Maybe or maybe not. I say go for it!!

    • swilliams profile image

      Emunah La Paz 3 years ago from Arizona

      True indeed a loved child speaks wonders into a hurting world.

      Thanks for your feedback ericddierker.

    • swilliams profile image

      Emunah La Paz 3 years ago from Arizona

      Thanks for your feedback Tom! I agree most single parents are doing a great job raising young adult who are making a difference in our World.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I am adopted and youngest of 6 children and my father left the home when I was 7. Not everyone likes me. But a whole lot of people do. All us siblings worshiped our mother. Life throws strange curve balls and sliders at us.

      I think my young son would do just great with just his mom. Maybe he would be too loved if that is possible.

      "Over this and Over that" the complaints of a single parent are fair. But the payment for the "Overtime" is well worth the effort. Loved children become loving humans no matter the structure.

    • Tom Schumacher profile image

      Tom Schumacher 3 years ago from Huntington Beach, CA

      That is a great question, although very controversial. Personally I don't see anything wrong with being a single parent. However, the rub lies with whether or not the child will receive a similar kind of up-bringing that a 2-parent household can offer. Of course, the obvious answer is usually no. But, given sufficient family support of siblings, grandparents, and extended family members why not.