ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Consistency is Key with Children

Updated on September 30, 2014

Constantly Testing the Boundaries

I have been a mom for 9 years now, and I realized from the beginning children try to test their limits. The baby cries, you pick them up. Yes, a baby will cry because it is hungry, needs changed, or a list of many other reasons. You have to decipher what that reason is, and it isn't always easy. I noticed with both of my sons that there would come a time where they would cry every time I put them down, and what did I do? Pick them back up, and most days I wouldn't get much done around the house because of this. By the time my youngest came around I was on to this behavior, and decided to not pick him up every time he cried. Of course next is toddler mode, constantly getting in to things, and discovering the world piece by piece. Well, once again they learned if we look at mom with our arms reaching up, she will pick me up, and carry me wherever I want to go. Another one of my favorites is throwing something and making mom or dad get it over and over again. Finally you say okay, I'm not going to make a career out of picking this toy up, and they stop throwing it. Fast forward to the school years, and here we are today. My oldest son is once again testing limits. I worked last year, and the boys went to after school program, and got help with homework until I got there. The oldest got in trouble quite a few times for not finishing his homework, or just not turning it in. I realized I was a lot less tuned in to their school work, and needs concerning school work. My younger son is very competitive, and is a faster learner so he breezes through homework, and complains it isn't challenging enough for him. (We have major learning differences in our home) This school year, I started off believing the oldest was doing better, I trusted him when he told me he was finishing work in class and turning it in before he left for the day. Once again, not true. A month in to the school year, and we've already been to the school for a meeting on keeping him on track. Well, that was enough, I have had enough of this being buffaloed by a 4th grader. We sit down every night, I check the teacher's blog, I check to see the accuracy of what he has written in his assignment notebook, and we unload the book bag and begin working on homework. Last night he was up to his old tricks, "I finished my work at school." Oh really, so if I email your teacher she'll tell me the same? "Well, someone else packed my book bag because I was doing something else, and they forgot to put it in there." Really? Well, that's interesting." (I am giving him a look of disbelief the whole time. "Okay fine, I forgot it at school. The work is so hard I don't understand it." That's why I sit down with you EVERY night, and I help you. Okay guys, get in the car. "Why mommy?" Because we are going to the school, and getting your work. The look on his face was priceless. I had told him I would do it, and I did. Consistency, I believe if he realizes I mean business we will stop having all of these issues. As a parent you want to believe your child, but that trust is earned. So if there is anyone else out there like me that was buffaloed by their child, just remember it's not to late to change their behavior, you just need to stay true to your work, and be consistent.

Staying Consistent with the Other Parent

I don't care if you are married, divorced, or remarried. If you put children in the mix they will try even harder to break the rules. I'm divorced, and remarried as you know. This seems to be the most challenging scenario for most parents. I mean, come on if a family with happy, married mom and dad has consistency problems, imagine what life can be like when another parent or 2 (if the ex also gets remarried) is added in to the mix. Luckily for me, my husband and I agree to be equally consistent with the boys. The ex husband, (who rarely finds the time to see his sons, and I'm talking once or twice a year) wants to just try to talk the kids in to playing against my husband and I. It takes a week to get the boys back on track after spending a day with that man. Seriously though, I'm sure most parents can relate. The kids go to grandma and grandpa on mom's side there's one set of rules, they go to g'ma and g'pa's on dad's side another set of rules, every person they come in to contact has different styles of parenting. I haven't figured out how to get grandparents to listen to how things are handled in our house, and suggesting they do the same. They always nod and agree, but nope the kids come home and tell us of the wonderful adventures they've had. Some things leaving my jaw at the floor, but I guess all we can do is to do what we can. Have any of you figured out how to keep all parties consistent with the disciplining, and rules to follow?

They look sweet and innocent

Brotherly love, my boys
Brotherly love, my boys | Source

The Big Q of the Day

Are you and your spouse on the same page for disciplining your children?

See results


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)