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Cure for self Centered Behavior in Youth

Updated on July 31, 2008

A cure for the Self-centered kid

Psychology has answered the question by pointing out the different stages everyone experiences as part of growing up. As Erikson, Rogers, and Bowen theorized, the stage of narcissism lasts from infancy until the person becomes aware that others have feelings and viewpoints. In addition, theylearn how to negotiate with others so that all may get their needs met. Otherwise it may get very lonely. Not everyone makes the transition from adolescence to young adulthood, but remain stuck and unable to keep up with peers. Bad parenting, substance abuse, overly restrictive parents, membership in cults are causes for delayed development, and some never make the transition.

These are the beer swilling, aggressive, showoffs that have never grown up and still define manhood through sports, sexual conquests, and pushing the opposite sex around. Of course there are exceptions. Most individuals who are developmentally delayed may have other poisons, such as casual, criminal behavior they visit upon their neighbors, training outlaw dogs, fighting and vandalism. On the more civilized side, they may hold down jobs and marry and have children. These are the persons that avoid PTA, teachers conferences and contributing more to the community than absolutely necessary. They may be passive aggressive, leaving the responsibilities of maintaining a home to their mate. They may feel no need to spend time with the children and are solitary hobbyists, non-responsive to adult or child conversation, often perched on a favorite chair watching television.

Granny was fond of saying that the cure for the self-centered is to simply put on the years and grow up, find a mate and marry and you will be cured. If only the old homilies would work for us in our complex societies. future changes are likely to be exponential. At warp speed one might say. The individual who stays stuck is going to be left far behind of peers, resenting a second-class life of low paying jobs and serving hamburgers to their achieving friends.


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      Mr Bitchnofun 7 years ago

      "These are the beer swilling, aggressive, showoffs that have never grown up and still define manhood through sports, sexual conquests, and pushing the opposite sex around."

      only men then, yes? You're an idiot.

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      Rebecca Jones 9 years ago from Florida

      Very interesting thoughts. Thanks for the input.

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      mike king 9 years ago from california

      There are plenty of "good kids" who hang in cliques and believe their life is on hold as long as they are having fun. Of course, some self centered behavior is normal, and the normal kids will get through the stage just fine. Children are all different and may enter stages at different times. I am reminded of a friend whose life at 30 still revolved around the college scene. He didn't want the responsibilities awaiting him "out there." Erikson encouraged a stage of learning about life, travel and meeting different people. The amish allow their young a time to leave home and get "it" out of their systems. That woulod be sex, drugs, rock and roll. Most come home wiser and prepared for marriage and settling down. Sadly, some do not.