- Family and Parenting»
Cycles of child abuse
Innocence is born
Precious is the child who graces this world with their presence. The nine month preparation for the entrance of a child is both exciting and daunting for the expectant parents. There is much to do to ensure that not only the necessities of a new born babe is adequate enough to provide a healthy, safe and protective environment for their newest addition. But it is important to ensure the mother is healthy and comfortable throughout the duration of the pregnancy as well.
For the aware, healthy would include not only the physical health, but the mental health too. It is well known now that the emotional state of the mother can transfer to the emotional state of the unborn babe at cellular level often referred to as limbic imprinting. The healthier the state of the mother the healthier the state of the baby.
On the special day when innocence is born it is a jubilant affair for the parents and their families. The love that envelops knows no bounds and the helpless and fragile innocence of the new born is embraced unreservedly.
My Bundle of Joy
Oh precious child what joy you bring
Like the beautiful flower in early spring
Into my life you bring beautiful light
Lighting my world and bringing pure delight
As long as the sun and the moon still exist
I promise to love you and seal it with my kiss
I will nurture and guide you the best way I know how
Keeping you safe and protected I vow
Shield you I will from the darkest of nights
So your innocence remains untainted by life
If I should fail, I trust you will find
The source from within that is there all the time.
Where does the cycle of abuse begin
In an ideal world to greater or lesser degree, the above is the norm. However, what is normal for some parents may not be the generally accepted normal by others.
What if the expectant parent/s are children themselves who perhaps lack the internal maturity to prepare both physically and mentally for the joyful event? How would one define their normal? How will they cope bringing a child into this world?
When seemingly mature adults emotional world is in chaos, (which may or may not be due to being raised in an abusive home that involved drugs or alcohol or a combination of all) will they even be able to grasp what is required to create or enable a nurturing environment to bring a child into our world? Especially if their internal world perceives life or giving life differently?
Some will and some won’t unfortunately.
What impact therefore would unprepared parents have on a child?
Limbic imprinting is the process of registering of all the sensations and feelings of the surrounding environment at a cellular level in the limbic system of the brain that can affect a person for the rest of their life. So when an unborn baby is cocooned in the womb of the mother, it makes sense that this is the environment the limbic system of the baby will absorb. This is where the cycle of abuse begins or not.
If it is positive and nurturing, then baby is being prepared more healthily and the innocence remains pure. A cycle of nurturing and growth begins. If it is negative and destructive, innocence is tainted and a cycle of abuse begins.
Perhaps too there could be varying amounts of positive and negative imprints creating yet a different cycle. This is evident in the uniqueness in which the internal cycles we follow and the patterns that recur in our lifes journey manifest in our lives..
The physical and the mental health of the mother whilst the baby is in the womb will therefore determine the initial environment in which the unborn baby will be nurtured and imprinted. It will also determine whether or not the innocence of a child remains blank before baby can write the first chapter of life before his or her grand entrance into this world.
Once born into this world, the environmental variables by which the limbic system will be written or over written will extend to include not only the parents, family or friends but society as a whole and the experiences that come to the fore.
Abused in the womb
The harsh words I do not understand
The violent tumbling around
It is all too much for my developing body
I contract in fear with the sound
The anger causes my crib to tense
My breathing now restricted
I don’t understand what is happening
My emotions all conflicted
The throbs of sadness are like endless waves
Smacking my tender skin
I grope for the connection of what I have known
These feelings are not my kin
Where is the love that I know that I am?
When I first came in to being
The safety net and peace I felt
Even though I am unseeing
Gladly from the depths it comes
From a connection I’ve always known
Cradling me in tranquil peace
The unconditional love it has shown
Hear me speak my parents to be
I send you love and peace
I hope you find the silence within
And the chaos of mind does cease.
Thoughts affect your unborn baby
Child abuse is a sensitive and diverse subject to explore, and for the most part spans across many walks of life and cultures.
It is unconceivable to many that an adult can harm an innocent child.
For many others though it is the only way of life they have known.
The cycles of child abuse varies in severity from the minor infraction to the ultimate taking of a childs life.
Cycles of abuse, although they can be broken, often continue to be passed on from generation to generation by the unconscious. The absuer/s are not always aware of what they are instilling in those whom look to them for love and protection. The cycles then repeat until light is shed on their actions.
Gladly there are many who become more aware of the internal patterns that are caused by these internal cycles imbedded in the pysche from an early age and steadfastly set about consciously to eliminate these learned cycles. Over time they are able to move forward creating more meaningful cycles that heal and nuture the once injured psyche. That which they have created and healed enables them to pass on less abusive cycles to the newer generation.
If the limbic imprinting process is a given then it makes more sense that the cycles of abuse can begin in the womb and do indeed go on unnoticed or unattended by those who have it imprinted in their psyche.
Children that suffer by the actions of their abuser or abusers worldwide is heart wrenching and sorrowful in all its various shades. And to those imprinted with such patterns I send love and healing.
I am free
I am finally free from the pain they inflicted
In their drug fuelled games that they played
As they battered and bruised my tiny body
My mind it struggled but stayed
But when my mind did finally break
My spirit whisked me away
It carried me in the winds of love
And took all the pain away
I am the breath of the wind through the trees
In all things I now dwell
When you feel the wind and see falling leaves
Remember I am happy and well
Suffer the little children come unto me.
This passage in the bible has always intrigued me. Does it mean that children must suffer in order to find the kingdom within? Unless suffer meant something else before translating from the original language this meaning will continue to plague my inquisitive mind. Why can a child not enter the kingdom without suffering? Or can they? When the bible states be as child to enter the kingdom what must that passage be referring to?
Is it referring to the innocence that children are as they come in to being from the eternal womb of life to the temporary womb of the mother? A consciousness with a clean slate, pure. An empty first page of an unwritten book. An empty vessel that is connected to the eternal womb where love and peace flow freely unimpeded by the discriminating mind. Ready to enter the world as a unique expression of pure potentiality to experience life in a way no other has experienced life.
Makes more sense to me, that to find the kingdom within, one must be as a child, pure, empty and untainted by preconceived notions of what is.
Children are precious treasures to protect, love and nurture in as positive environment as we can provide. This ensures that our future generations will epitomise the wisdom of those who chose these environmental variables. Perhaps we must wise up and help in whatever way we can to prevent the cycles that cause suffering, by revealing what each of us has within. Unconditional Love.