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DATING AT 13?? NOT IN MY HOUSE (Now with update from Dr. Phil)

Updated on February 29, 2012

Teens Situations

My little angel
My little angel
meeting in halls of school
meeting in halls of school
having make-up/ boy chat
having make-up/ boy chat
No to Alcohol
No to Alcohol
Forbidden
Forbidden

As some of you may know I an raising my three grandchildren. I love them all so much. We have been having a good time this summer. We been to the beach, bowling, the movies and to a few concerts that I must say left me a little deaf for an hour or two, but it was fun.

At one of our movie nights my granddaughter, Ja'Laya seen some friends of hers from school. These friends seemed to be paired of as in couples. At 13 years old I can not see this happening with my granddaughter. Are they really on a date, hanging out or do they think they are in a relationship and are doing what I believe entails a boy/girl relationship?

As you probable figured out Ja'Laya wanted to ditch her family to go "kick it" with her "homies". I finally allowed her with a bit of trepidation and a few dollars.

I must say that these girls and boys, my granddaughter included, do not really look like 13 year olds. more like 16 or 17 year old.They have make-up on, hair extensions in, and false eyelashes. Yes, Ja"Laya has hair extensions but no make-up or eyelashes yet, I won"t allow that yet. Their look can deceive you but when they open their mouths to talk you then realize that they are just kids.

But then I see all these things on the news and on talk shows that some teens are doing and things that are being done to them. Violence, date rape, drugs, teen pregnancy and I cringe at the thought of these things happening to my granddaughter. I do my best to get her to understand that she has to be careful, aware of her surroundings,to trust no one, and to tell everything no matter how small you may think it may be.

Dating In Our Day

This whole dating has me fearful of letting my girl out to experience these so called wonders, after all its not like it was when I started ,when i was 17. I guess that you have to trust that they have listened to you when you had that "talk" (for the millionth time) and told them how you can get pregnant and how to "prevent" pregnancy with "abstinence".

I have preach over and over to my granddaughter so much that certain commercials that come on T.V.. like advertisement for beer, she says "hey grandma, you said not to drink alcohol until you are 21 right" and I have to smile because I know she is being funny because I say things so many times, but deep inside I know that she is paying attention to what I have been telling her, that God.

In Los Angeles they are teaching the school board,staff and administrators how to recognize teen dating abuse.

Teens have made pacts to get pregnant together and have picked who they want to be the father based on his athletic scholarship and which professional sports team he will be playing for in the next six or seven years.They have chosen fathers based on the fact that they want this baby to have straight hair not kinky like theirs

All things are turning with the times but not all things are turning for the good of change.



What's Your Thought on Dating Age

WHAT AGE DO YOU FEEL IS APPROPRIATE TO BEGAN DATING?

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    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      3 years ago

      I must say dating has more variables than ever these days. Parents should spend time discussing dating issues with teens prior to that first date. You voice much of what both parent and teen need to know.

    • roshall profile imageAUTHOR

      roshall 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      thanks and its hard sometime but you have to do what is needed and every child is different so you have to be real with them and to understand them as young ones wanting to be grown much to fast. I just think of how i was at their age and what my mother did and said to me after all I turned out pretty good so something she did was good...lol

    • Dee aka Nonna profile image

      Dee aka Nonna 

      6 years ago

      Every since I got the notice that you were following me ---thank you---I have been meaning to come over for a visit to your site. I always leave a comment because I think it important. I spotted this one right away and decided to read. Your profile caught my eye because I lived in Ohio for about 10 years or so....really did like it there.

      This topic is one that have a lot of mothers and grandmothers worried. These kids watch the shows on TV and think it is OK to act that way. Some will say...things have always happened and you can't protect them from everything....where this may be true (to a point). Just ask any parent who has a child missing what they might have done different. It is a hard thing, but it sounds like you are doing a good job of keeping them close and giving them enough freedom as to not stifle them. Important topic...Voted up

    • roshall profile imageAUTHOR

      roshall 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      thanks and your welcome.

    • roshall profile imageAUTHOR

      roshall 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks for commenting and I need all the luck I can get.

    • Heart Felt Book profile image

      Cheri Taylor 

      6 years ago from New York, NY

      awesome hub!!!!! and great topic, I feel the need to share this, I love it, Thanks Much!!!

    • JDove-Miller profile image

      JDove-Miller 

      6 years ago from YOUNGSVILLE

      Good hub. I agree it is way too scary in the dating world of teens. They are much more likely to cave to pressure than to listen to adult warnings. Good luck.

    • profile image

      lisa calloway 

      6 years ago

      great story

    • roshall profile imageAUTHOR

      roshall 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks for commenting MsDora That is the whole problem they don't think and some parents are not thinking either if they allow dating at such a young age.Have great day.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      6 years ago from The Caribbean

      I totally agree with you. I recently wrote a hub, "Purity Quotes to Grab Your Teenager's Attention." We have to feed their minds with positive thoughts that will encourage them to enjoy their early years; and not take on adult situations before they're ready. You mentioned dating abuse. They don't even think of such things.

    • roshall profile imageAUTHOR

      roshall 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks for commenting. You right i should have had that included.With today's kids that seems to be old fashion, but i would like that too.I started dating when i was 17.

    • Sinea Pies profile image

      Sinea Pies 

      6 years ago from Northeastern United States

      Wish your poll had "none of the above"! LOL I like the old-fashioned approach of courting, instead, where the parents are very involved in the process...and the children are approaching the age of marriage. Your grandchildren are so blessed to have you.

    • roshall profile imageAUTHOR

      roshall 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      y Hi BkCreative yes i agree with you and that is why i will not have a 13 year old dating. thanks for commenting and have a great. day

    • BkCreative profile image

      BkCreative 

      6 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

      Why even date as a teenager? What happened to friendships? Where will that take you in the real world. I lived and taught English in Seoul S. Korea - and it is fairly easy to see why they are near the top of the world in literacy and technology - and every thing else. We can't touch them. And all we feed our children here is bad food, bad TV, an archaic school curriculum and parents who want to be friends. Equals with children - it makes no sense.

      Let's not forget the violence towards young women as they slip into these easy, useless relationships.

      Thanks for the hub and nice to meet you by the way. I'll follow now so I can keep up with you.

    • roshall profile imageAUTHOR

      roshall 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      Hi creativeone59 thanks for commenting. I try my best and with Gods help I'll do good.have a great day.

    • creativeone59 profile image

      benny Faye Douglass 

      6 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you roshall, for a very informative hub on teen dating, I can tell you're special grandma just by reading your hub . keep up the good work. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • roshall profile imageAUTHOR

      roshall 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      Hi denise ,I agree with you. I want you all to know she's not dating but i do invite her friend over for dinner some Sundays and they do go to movies when i only,

    • roshall profile imageAUTHOR

      roshall 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      Hi kirsib, yes my grandson is the same age and he is into sports too, Thank goodness. I agree that the girls will be the ones more interested in dating. I have to deal with it by communicating very well with them.Thanks for commenting and have a great day.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 

      6 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      I think that it is important to teach young people the process for developing an intimate relationship. When my youngest three were teens, we talked about the importance of developing friendships first, and adding physical touch as commitment increased. We discussed when it is okay to hold hands, hug, kiss, and have sex. If we don't talk about drawing the lines, we can't expect our kids to know where they are.

    • gmwilliams profile image

      Grace Marguerite Williams 

      6 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Excellent hub. 13 is too young to start dating. In fact, I believe that anyone in high school should not be dating- save that for later. Junior high and high school are stages in life to devote to a child's studies and ultimately preparing for college.

    • kirsib profile image

      kirsib 

      6 years ago

      I agree my oldest son is almost 15 thankfully he is not into dating he is into sports. I think this will be more of an issue with my girls who are now 10 and 8....

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