OMG!!! Your not preggers???
When a young man such as myself finds out his girlfriend is preggers, we brick it.....No....I mean we actually brick it....some leg it....but usually we just shit our pants and fill at least one shoe with an off yellow, smelly liquid-you know what I mean. Once the initial "shit, what are we gonna do" is out the way, or the "have you told your dad" tremble of the lips, it's time to grow up.....and quick. From the point of being told "i'm pregnant" till the little bugger pops out is probably a little less than 9 months, 9 months of pure hell, 9 months of total complete hormonal disarray, 9 months of stomach churning, vomit inducing cravings, such as-Ice cream with gurkins or mustard on just about anything...sick. 9 months of weekly midnight dashes to the 24hr tesco for that emergency tub of caramel ben & jerry's. I'd be sitting there, fake guitar in hand trying to beat my high score on guitar hero when, from the kitchen, a scream like I've never before heard, followed by moans of dissatisfaction. I jump out my skin and bolt it to the kitchen door, expecting to see my girlfriend spreadeagled on the kitchen floor with a head protruding from her crotch, only to find her standing there, toast buttered and ready, clutching an empty jar of peanut butter...... 3 months come and go, and it's time for our 12 week scan. I'm excited, but at this point i still don't think i feel anything towards the bump, it still doesn't seem real. My girlfriend try's getting me more emotionally attached to this bump, but to me-thats exactly all it is......a bump..... At the hospital I sit, clutching my girlfriends hand, she's not even having the baby, but still she almost draws blood with her fingernails-as the nurse apply's what I can only describe as, goo, to her bump. He turns the screen so we can see. Suddenly, for me, things very quickly became serious. I take my attention away from the screen for a second and focus on the bump, then back to the screen. "It's moving" I say, as dear girlfriend actually does draw blood this time, I stare at the screen for what seems an eternity, and then, in that moment, seeing my child growing for the first time, I grew up and became a dad.