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Daddy Lessons Bites!: Finding A Pediatrician

Updated on May 29, 2013
from www.frommrstomama.com
from www.frommrstomama.com | Source

Although there are SOME doctors that only practice for money, I personally believe the doctors that practice with integrity and genuine care far outnumber their black sheep, so to speak.

But as dads, it is our responsibility to find the best pediatrician and doctors for our children. After all, nothing should ever compromise our children's health. But choosing a pediatrician and making the process simple and stress-free isn't always easy.

So I present, this week's Daddy Lesson 101: How To Choose A Pediatrician (Whose Receptionist Won't Eat You Alive!)

1.) Another Parent's Word of Mouth is ALWAYS the best reference.

As a dad, sometimes it's hard for us to talk to other dads. Heck, even I sometimes think it's weird when I or other dads spark conversations. It doesn't come as easy as when moms do it.

But when you're looking for a pediatrician, a word of mouth reference from another parent is a great gauge of how that certain pediatrician performs. A fine example was when our hospital assigned us a certain pediatrician named Dr. Fateh Mohammed for our 2nd baby. So we went to see him a couple of times, and for those times he always seemed to treat my wife as if she was a moron, and turned to me and talked to me like I was an equal. I don't want to judge a person based on what his religion or ethnic background is, so let's just say that he came off very misogynistic.

At first we told ourselves that maybe he was just having a bad day. Then maybe it's just us. Finally, I decided that I'll start finding out exactly why we were treated that way. As luck would have it, I had started chatting with another father picking up medicines at our pharmacy, and I asked him if he knew a good pediatrician. As we started chatting, Dr. Mohammed's name came up. Turns out him and his wife had the same experience we did! Not only that, he said that other parents he knew were treated that way too! As soon as I realized this, I knew it was time to look for another pediatrician ASAP. Which leads us to our next lesson...

2.) Don't EVER Let Any Nurse/Hospital Staff/Secretary/Anyone Tell You That You Don't Have A Choice!

This is the biggest and most potentially dangerous misconception any parent could ever make. Even in Canada where health care is covered by taxes, we have a choice in choosing who we want to look after our health. We had assumed that since the hospital had "assigned" us a pediatrician, we were "bound" to this pediatrician. How wrong we were. All it took is a quick phone call to the local College of Physicians and Surgeons, and we knew we can choose our pediatrician, with the only barrier being if the pediatrician was no longer taking new patients.

Just because the hospital/office/receptionist/nurse tells you "Oh, this pediatrician is good", or "He/She is very smart and knowledgeable" , or worse, "We have no one else but this person to take you", doesn't mean YOU HAVE TO. YOU SHOULD BE THE JUDGE OF THAT, NOT THEM. You can have a guy with a Ph.D in Pediatrics with 20 years of experience, but if their accent is difficult to understand, or their laissez-faire attitude has left your child more sick than better, how can you establish a good relationship that will span YEARS with this individual? You can try, maybe it will work out, but most often it won't. Personally, I wouldn't.

If worse come to worse, where you feel your child needs to be seen by a pediatrician and not just a regular walk-in doctor, don't be afraid to take them to a local children's hospital, where 99% of the time (and in my case, 100% of the time at TheStollery Children's Hospital ) the doctor who will see your child in the emergency room is going to be a pediatrician. Personally, I don't mind waiting 4-8 hours (even more) in a children's emergency room. It's worth it, even if you walk away with nothing more but the stomach flu. It's a price a parent should be willing to pay to make sure their child's health is never compromised.

3.) Call Your Local College Of Physicians And Surgeons, Or Check Them Out Online For A List Of Potential Doctors.

This should be your next step. Google your province/state's College of Physicians and Surgeons, i.e., "Alberta College Of Physicians And Surgeons", and there should be a search/drop box that says "Looking For A Doctor?". Begin your search there, as most search functions allows you to filter potential doctors out via languages spoken, sex, specialty, area, etc. Some will even tell you if the doctor is still accepting new patients. Obtain all the numbers of potentially available doctors, and start calling.

4.) Don't Just Call The Clinic. Drop By Too.

You've probably heard of the saying, "A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing". Well, this is often the case with medical receptionists and clinic staff. They can sound sweet on the phone--that is their job, after all--but overtime, their true colors show. I know some of you may be saying, "Well, they have a stressful job, they're allowed to be jerks." I want to see how long before you eat those words. Point is, we all have jobs to do, and when we are at work, we should strive to do it. You do it, I do it. We let our emotions get in the way, we get penalized. Trust me, happened to me many times. So why should they be exempted?

When you drop by the clinic, observe how the receptionists are towards other parents. Are they rude? Snappy? Overtly expressive of the fact that in the doctor's clinic, they are gods since they control schedules? If you start to see any of those warning signs--use your intuition--you shouldn't totally discount the staff and the doctor's clinic right away, but do keep a mental note. And find a way to compromise.

A fine example was when we finally found a new pediatrician named Dr. Michael Bowman. Fine guy, looks like he's about my age, very soft spoken, very calm and he seems to genuinely care about his patients well-being. But turns out Dr.Bowman's office receptionist was one of those "wolves in sheep's clothing": She sounded sweet and innocent at first, but the more you dealt with her, the more her b-wordiness showed. From questioning why you didn't call her at 9 AM to book your appointment, to downright judging you for not having a car, to simply being crude when asked why you can't book an appointment for next week, this lady was hell. She reminds me of me when I was working pharmacy full-time, the kind of person who probably hates their job but can't leave because of what little power that position gives you. Leaving Dr.Bowman is out of the question, so how do I make the next few years of pediatric appointments better? Well, turns out she doesn't answer the phones on certain days. So perhaps I'll call on those days. Worse comes to worse, I'll ask to see Dr. Bowman at a different clinic (Don't forget to see if this option exists if you find a pediatrician you like, and a clinic staff you hate!)

5.) Keep The Rose-Coloured Glasses Off. And PLEASE Ask At Least 1-2 Questions!

So FINALLY you've found that perfect-on-paper pediatrician. Bilingual? Check. Open to new patients? Check. Plays the banjo at the local club on Saturdays? OK, I don't know how you would find that out. Anyways, everything seemed perfect. And then you get to meet the guy/gal. And then...it just doesn't click. Maybe he finds you annoying. Maybe you stare too much at her to even maintain normal eye contact. Or perhaps you simply don't gel...a clash of personalities...etc. You go for a few more visits, and nothing changes.

Do you leave? Look for a new doctor? NO. Unless the doctor is being rude, racist, is sexually harassing you, or is downright difficult to understand (thick accent, inaudible voice, etc.), simply because these reasons won't likely change or get better over time.

Rather, observe the way he/she is around your child.Is he as cold as Dr.House with you, but like an angel when dealing with your child? In our case, Dr.Mohammed treated my wife like crap,me with some respect, and our son very casually, borderline laisez-faire. And as a protective, attached dad, that doesn't sink well with me when a doctor treats any member of my family as just a number, and not as a person. And as a father yourself, you should never let anyone who is in charge of something as important as your family's health ever treat you like you're just a liability to them. YOU--people who need help,guidance,etc.--are the reason businesses exist and people get paid. Don't be afraid to ever make that known, in a civil, courteous way. Even doctors need to get paid--and in Canada, they get paid a set fee for every patient they see. The more patients they see, the more money they make. So for a doctor to treat you like a second class citizen when they're getting paid by the government the moment their receptionist inputs your health care number is a joke. So make sure you're not at the butt of it.

Oh, and do ask a question. Or two. This will help you gauge how the doctor deals with questions, in case an emergency someday arises. Even simple questions. Observe how they answer the question. Did they answer it? Did they brush it off? Did they consult their books (which is a great gauge of their scholastic integrity), or did they just Google their answer?(which to me screams UNPROFESSIONAL) Take mental notes of these.

Then, keep a mental note of all the things you like, and the things you don't. A good pros-and-cons breakdown will help. See if the goods outweigh the bads. Then, see if you can find ways around the bad. And always remember to put your child's welfare first. Don't be afraid to be critical, but be realistic.

And there ya go. Sure, this isn't the be-all, end-all list of what to look for when you're looking for a pediatrician. Many guides exist out there that can supplement this little 5-pointer. But I hope that from my personal experiences, these lessons help give you that extra edge in finding your perfect pediatrician.

Cheers to fathers everywhere around the world!

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    • angryelf profile image

      angryelf 4 years ago from Tennessee

      Haha you think so??? That sounds like a pretty awesome idea, I worked as tech support for a few months, and developed an excellent "phone voice". So that might just work! Haha McDonald's will be just another venture; another stepping stone to build my knowledge, my work abilities, make friends in the process, and eventually pay off my truck and return to college. The place I feel most at home. Boy do I miss class! Don't get me wrong, I hated high school. Skipped 3 of every 5 days, sometimes weeks at a time, from the 6th grade. HATED GRADE SCHOOL. Dropped out 8 days after I turned 18! But I just somehow knew college would be different. Fewer trouble makers, more intellectual stimulation, and more freedom. SO MUCH TO LEARN, plenty enough for a mind like mine. Oh I can't wait to be back :) McDonald's is how I'll get there though; and that's a okay with me. Won't be a laughing matter when I'm walking the stage, anywho lol. The only issue is that with children; trying to get through school, open my own office, get my own sanctuary & rescue going... It's so much, so so much. And with calculations; family will be so hard to fit in! Thank you for the compliments on my raising :) My mother did do well; used the "remove the leash" approach when I was a teen. She asked questions, but never scolded me. Never confined me. Let me do what I pleased. She knew though haha, she knew I wouldn't sacrifice a future. Now I will say, I'm a strong advocate for marijuana. And unfortunately a cig smoker for maybe 2 more months max. I guess those were my only "downfalls", but marijuana is the only "medicine" that accurately relieved my different issues; from gastrointestinal issues and PCOS- polycystic ovary syndrome- to anxiety, depression, ADHD, and insomnia. It's a hole in one; and I prefer it to 6 other meds. But I often hide that part of me, because the "pot revolution" is still just an infant, and I don't want to look bad. I even rarely touch it; in fear of tests regarding employment haha. I'm not sure where you stand, but all views are always interesting!

    • TheYoungDad profile image
      Author

      Retired Pharmacy Tech 4 years ago from Canada

      Wow you sure sound like a strong young woman! I admire women who have the guts to take their children away from anything that can ruin their future; and from your writing and your comments, your mother did a mighty fine job raising you.

      And do you know how many people in the "real" world look down on Mcd's employees, and yet you proudly say you work there and even have aspirations of management! I can tell you from personal experience (worked there when I was 14, have friends who work there as managers) the experience it gives you is amazing, something you can easily leverage to another management position.

      I love your opinion on children too; I guess I've just been exposed to so many North American parents, both moms and dads, who would rather leave their kids with nannies and pursue the corporate ladder, only to realize the best years of a parents life is between birth and 8-9 years nowadays.

      You know what you should do? Make a website and a blog and a podcast/webcast focusing on these weird but true things like self-immolation and self-mummification and Sokushinbutsu, in the same vein as those "Weird or What" shows by William Shatner. It'd be a great hit!

    • angryelf profile image

      angryelf 4 years ago from Tennessee

      Hahahaha see, I see it that way. It's one of the reasons I'm absolutely, positively TERRIFIED of having one "so young" as I'd call it haha. In all honesty, I'd love to have a child; I love kids! Makes me so jealous with my friends; but I see their hardships, I also saw what my mother went through. My biggest goal for becoming a vet is to be able to support my kids well; even in the event the father runs off. Just precautionary haha. I know becoming pregnant would be an instant death to the dream of being a DVM, because I would never even think for one split second about adoption, couldn't do it! I just want to, get it right I guess; never have to struggle, have my dreams, and have a family on top. I don't ever want to have to wonder if I could afford that amazing thing they want for Christmas, ya know? I'd like to pamper; lots of discipline when called for, but pampered & well cared for :) I've not ever heard one person ever say they regretted kids; and I've met a few guys who just, up and left them. My father did the same as well, then my mother banned him away from us. I didn't meet him till I was 17; and happy my mother did that too! You could only imagine his record with the law when I say that haha. STILL the same as well! It's not a daddy issue for me, but rather a lesson learned before I get there; to be prepared to be the single parent.

      And thank you!!! Hahaha I'll be throwing up more as well, especially since you love them :) Maybeee not today, 4 hours of sleep and first shift at mcd's... torture, I tell ya. Hopefully become manager & on 3rds within the next 3 weeks! But regardless, not going to let you down ;)

    • TheYoungDad profile image
      Author

      Retired Pharmacy Tech 4 years ago from Canada

      Thanks AngryElf! BTW re-read your Hub on the self-mumfying monks and I swear, monks seem to do the craziest things in pursuit of the buddha state! Self-immolation, self-mummification, what will the world discover next eh?

      Your story interested me a lot. And your question , in my opinion, an unplanned pregnancy in your 20's CAN be a wonderful gift! I had my first son at 20, and yes, life changed big time, but the gifts that parenthood brings, is lifechanging. Especially at a young age, where we are more inclined to be open to change, is when the gifts of parenthood help us be reborn as individuals. I personally discovered the gift of rebirth as an individual after 2-3 years of being a parent, because it took me that long to be open to it. Now I can say, hey, being a dad at 20 was one of the greatest things to ever happen in my life.

      I hope that you dont wait too long to experience the joy and gifts of parenthood. Everything the world says about being financially ready, emotionally ready, mentally ready to become parents? all that goes out the window. Parenthood will bring out the best in you, but only if you let it :)

    • angryelf profile image

      angryelf 4 years ago from Tennessee

      Hahahaha I can see that there's going to be a lot of these issues with parenting, it must be a heck of an exciting headache adventure ;) hahaha! I've had my own bad experience with doctors; some with how they were... others were amazing awesome doctors. One of those awesome doctors put me on a vaccine that already has women at war against it; and it caused a very unfortunate health condition for me. A birth control that may have turned into a permanent infertility issue! This is one of the other hubs I've been wanting to toss up; and throw all of my personal experience with it in there as well. At this moment, I'm not so sure which is worse: an unplanned pregnancy in your 20's or the possibility of not being able to have them! In conclusion, the worst thing that could possibly happen is getting a pediatrician that is not keeping up with different procedures and medical finds, then the child facing the consequences. Looks like you've nailed this topic, Dad Guru! Great job!