ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Dealing with The Overprotective Parent is Difficult

Updated on April 6, 2017
DDE profile image

Overprotective parents are sometimes older and don't understand their children's needs. The modern lifestyle has confused them.

Parenting Skills

Source
Source
Source
Source

Strict Parenting can be most Frustrating

The Overprotective parent is difficult in many ways:

This woman is married to a man much older man than she is, and is a divorced father of two grown up children. The dad has a son of twenty one with his young wife.

The man left his previous family when his children were in their teens, and was a very strict father.

In his sixties he is showing his strict skills with his twenty one year old son.

It can be most frustrating for the wife to cope with her husband. She is fine with their son going out with friends, to parties, or to the often evenings out.

The husband is constantly checking up on the young lad.

· How far would you go to check up on your child while out with friends?

It is time for the young man to meet people and have a social life which is not always the case for many at this age.

Sometimes parents can be too strict with their kids and at this age it should not be that way, but the dad just goes on about their son going out and returning home much too late.

During the holidays or weekends it is understandable for the son to go out with friends.

A time to forget about college and enjoy being with his age group of friends.

The college week is not affected by interruptions of going out with friends.

The overprotective dad does not fully understand his son needs to get out and be with his friends.

In trying to explain the situation it sounds quite difficult for him to take in he feels this way because to him his son is safer at home.

The son is outgoing and confident and does not like to be disturbed when with friends it makes the son look and feel less-confident, especially, when his dad won't stop interfering with his time-out.

The mother sees things differently.

She knows her son won't go astray and that all is fine when he is out of the home.

The problem here is with the overprotective parent he is not in peace and happy when the son is out for the evening.

He sits on the sofa like nothing and no one else exists around him including his wife.

He is happiest when the son is home and is more talkative but otherwise very quiet. Silence kills the room when the couple is alone.

The son is responsible, and has gained his privilege when he was fifteen years old. He never abused his time out and had always been a pleasant lad.

Trust is very important between child and parent and a child needs to show their parents they are trustworthy.

The dad is a bit insecure and feels soothing would go wrong but such situations can't be controlled.

No matter what parents try to do to protect their children from all the bad that goes on out there. You can't avoid the bad stuff it is not always possible.

Children learn from their mistakes that is what makes them know better. Nothing can be perfect as you wish or want it to be.

A child and parent need conversation and reasoning to make their decisions right with each other.

Sometimes parents find it hard to accept their children have grown up fast and are now independent and that they can do for themselves.

In this case the last child being the youngest so the dad feels he can protect his son from all that evil that goes on.

He does not realize that lots have changed and individuals choose to enjoy themselves in the modern way, as they want to experience life without interruption.

· The son attends a local college and the dad often asks the following questions:

· What time does college finish today?

· When will you get home?

· Will you be home early?

· Where are you?

The dad insists on his son staying in contact when he is at college or with friends I think this is too much for the grown up who is twenty one years old.

The regular messages via cell phone and the telephone calls are so unnecessary.

Out with friend is a must and that is what a twenty one year old needs.

The son does not smoke or take any kind of drugs he has a few whiskeys when out with friends and that is the only time he would have an alcoholic drink all with control.

Don't let your overprotective parents keep you home with making an excuse of college home- work.

You know well enough to be organized with home-work and stay focused on what makes you happy.

If you are a responsible person there is no need to be afraid of what you do in life.

Children need to build friendships and relationships.

A dad trying to be very strict with a twenty one year old is not worth the effort. It may work out for some families but in this time of life it will not work out as well.

Children tend to do wrong when their parents pressure them into going somewhere or into not going to anywhere.

It is up to all parents to let go of that tight leash.

The rein has to get lose and when it is time to let go off-course it can be difficult letting go.

Do so easily and see how free your mind will be afterward.

College students or not when it is time for your child to explore and meet people no parent should deprive their child of such a challenge.

It helps children know themselves better and to learn of new experiences. In the fast growing world one would feel scared to let their child see such madness. They have to at some time learn to be out on their own and with friends to explore outdoors freely.

  • You just got to have the courage to let go.

When I allowed my son go on his first sleep over I felt so good about it.

I knew he was safe with good people and that all would be fine with him.

I communicate with my son daily and this allows me to know what he is capable of. I trust him and know he is a responsible being.

Without communication you won't get parenting right. Respect is also important and if you lack respect for your child you won't like what you see.

Sneaking around your child's computer and cell phone to check up on what kind of emails and messages they have received won’t make you that good parent.

It just shows you don’t trust your child and it causes problems. Your children can end up hating you for intervening in their private lives.

Your child won't tell you everything. Remember that you were once at their age and was less educated about parenting in comparison to the new generation.

The less-educated or insecure parent feels that way.

Only check up on your child if you don't know where they are or with whom they are hanging out.

Your child must know once the trust is broken everything will change at home. Don't should not be forceful with your child.

No doors will be open for you.

Bad influences are also a problem.

Parents must know and be familiar with the friends of their children.

Don't try to be bossy with your child that can make them annoyed and that can cause you to make decisions even tougher.

Be calm, and communicative, and show respect then you will gain their respect. Speak with a good tone. Show happiness and smiles with your child.

· Above all love your child through all times.

Dealing with Overprotective Parents

Did you have Overprotective Parents?

See results

Overprotective Parents

Parent love and care

The open-minded writer who enjoys sharing her interests.
The open-minded writer who enjoys sharing her interests. | Source

© 2014 Devika Primić

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Overprotectiveness depends on the age, skills, and maturity level of the child, the environment, and unfortunately, on the emotional baggage that parents themselves often carry. At some point, a child will reach a point when enough is enough, then look out. They'll either take their behavior underground or rebel directly and openly.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi FlourishAnyway you are so right and have made such good points here thank you for sharing your comment

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I did not have this problem growing up, thankfully. I had friends who did....and I think we see much more of it today than we did thirty years ago.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Shoot I had to be overprotective of my mom! hihihi. My wife is first time and we have age and culture differences. We went through this with our Nephew who moved in with us at 21. I still cannot kick the kid out of the house enough but auntie really likes him home in his room. Probably getting some of both is good for him. Great Hub

    • kidscrafts profile image

      kidscrafts 3 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      I love the quote of Khalil Gibran : "Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you." As much as possible we have to raise children to be independent and be able at one point to walk on they own. Having overprotective parents can be quite suffocating for the children.

      "Two great things you can give your children: one is roots, the other is wings." Hodding Carter

      Great hub to make us think again, Devika :-)

      Have a nice week!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      This was really interesting reading, I was so lucky my mum was a bit overprotective but knew when to stop! I still tend to ask my son is he okay, does he want me to do things etc, but when he left home he went with my blessing, even though it was like, oh no, is he going to cope? and yes of course he did! lol!

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Interesting hub. I can understand how parents can be a bit too overprotective, but with this crazy world and all that goes on out there now, one does have to weigh in on the age of the child and make sure his or her friends are ones would want them to be around and not lead them down the wrong path. We do have to let them fly free out into the world at some point and just say a lot of prayers for sure!

      Good hub! Up and more and sharing.

      Blessings, Faith Reaper

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Interesting hub!

      I agree that overprotective parents can be irritating for the children.

      One must realize when and where to draw the line. If the foundation is strong and a healthy bond is developed between the parents and the children, chances are that the children will be able to handle the challenges of life and still remain unspoilt. As it is, today' s world has too much exposure from an early age, which was not present in earlier times. Parenting today is much more difficult than it was earlier.

      Thanks for an interesting hub!

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Thank you billybuc so kind of you to share you thoughts here.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Ericdierker overprotective parents can be frustrating to cope with but so much has changed and parents are doubtful when their children go out. Thank you for commenting.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      "Your children are not your children'' They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself,'' and "Two great things you can give your children: one is roots, the other is wings." Hodding Carter these are best said and is so true. Thank you kidscraft for sharing your valuable quotes here and gets me thinking even more about parenting.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Nell Rose so kind of you to stop by here and parents never stop caring for their children no matter how old they are. Thank you.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Faith Reaper thank you for sharing your meaningful comments I appreciate you stopping by thank you for the vote up more and shared.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello ChitrangadaSharan Parenting has changed over the years and challenges are now more difficult and far too much is going on in this modern world thank you for commentting.

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 3 years ago from sunny Florida

      You are so right...without communication you won't get parenting right. The balance just enough is what we aim for...thanks for sharing this thoughtfully composed hub.

      Angels are on the way to you ps

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      pstraubie48 thank you for sharing your comments here I appreciate you coming by take care now.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Easier said than done but all we can do is raise them the best we can and hope the good stuff stays. At 21 they are their own boss so all we can do is make them enemies and what parent wants that? Great subject matter, Devika.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Jackie very kind of you to stop by parent and child should not be enemies well said. Thank you for commenting.

    • Crystal Tatum profile image

      Crystal Tatum 3 years ago from Georgia

      Being overprotective with children can be just as damaging as having no boundaries. Very interesting topic.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Crystal Tatum you are so right thank you for sharing your thoughts here so kind of you to stop by.

    • Indian Chef profile image

      Indian Chef 3 years ago from New Delhi India

      DDE every parent wants best for their kids and want to protect them from harm but in doing so some times the line between protective and over protective is crossed and the problems starts. A child should be given freedom enough but till the child grows up enough to understand good or bad, parents do have big role in life of kid.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Indian Chef thank you for sharing your kind comments here I appreciate you coming by.

    • Cherylann Mollan profile image

      Cherylann Mollan 3 years ago from India

      Hi DDE! I'm not a parent, but yes, I had to deal with boderline over protective parents and it's true that I kicked up quite a storm at home, quite often in my teens! There is so much sense in this hub and I'm actually thinking of asking my parents to read this. Maybe sneak it up on them. :)

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Cherylann Mollan I appreciate all comments from you thank you for sharing your thoughts here.

    • TIMETRAVELER2 profile image

      TIMETRAVELER2 3 years ago

      When you are teaching children overprotective parents are almost impossible to deal with. They really damage their kids in ways they do not even see.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      TIMETRAVELER2, so true ''They really damage their kids in ways they do not even see.'' thank you for sharing your valuable comment

    Click to Rate This Article