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Dealing with a Child's Inappropriate Behavior
We all do mistakes, including us being parents as well as our children. But if we keep repeating it even after we know it’s a mistake, and then it is not right. The true spirit is to change ourselves once we know that our behavior or doings hurt someone. However sometimes a child may just fail to realize so and keep repeating his wrong doings or inappropriate behavior. Dealing with a child’s inappropriate behavior can be a difficult task for parents. Such challenging behaviors of children may actual frustrate a parent on many occasions. Even parents have their level of patience, and once the line is crossed then finish! Constant negative behavior pattern from children could be a headache for parents. Such parents try various ways to handle the situation and then get a little desperate on how to deal with a child’s inappropriate behavior. But somewhere down the line parents themselves have to take up the responsibility of making their children behave this way. But how? The fact is few parents let their children enjoy each and every freedom they didn’t get to, forgetting completely the art of saying ‘no’.
Children on the other hand enjoy the freedom and start to forget their limitations, as no boundaries are set by parents. One important thing that a parent can’t forget is the reason why a child may behave inappropriately. The reason for a child to behave so, is to communicate with his parents or to convey certain message to his parents. If a parent learns to understand that message than things get easy for him or her, if no then the inappropriate behavior from a child continues. So in order to handle to deal with a child’s inappropriate first we need to learn the reason behind such behavior.
Inappropriate behavior by kids in front of parents
Talking back or answering back
Arguing with their parents
Not sharing things with siblings
Arguments with parents in front of guests
Purposely keeping rooms or house unclean / messing around
Reasons for inappropriate behavior in children
If a child behaves inappropriately with his parents, all he tries to do is communicate with his parents. Temper tantrums are thrown by children because they want things to happen their own way. If a child is not happy about his parent’s decision and can’t convey the message directly; he or she may start behaving inappropriately just to let his parents know that he or she is upset about the whole thing that is going on. So the fact is there has to be one or more reason for a child’s inappropriate behavior, and all a parents need to realize that the child is trying to convey his feelings or anger through his challenging or negative behavior. One more reason why a child would in such manner is to show that he is hurt or scared. When a child feels insecure about certain situations or parent’s decisions, they get totally out of control and start behaving inappropriately just to feel better. A child on the other hand may also behave inappropriately if his parents don’t pay attention to his feelings and thus don’t meet his demands. In such cases a frustrated child may try various things to gain control over the situation, like hurting his sibling, punching pillows, kicking some other child, throwing things, breaking toys, tearing books and so on.
How to deal with a child’s inappropriate behavior
Try to learn what is bothering your child and the reason behind your child’s inappropriate behavior. A child may have various reasons for behaving so including being exhausted, scared, tired, hungry, bored, sad or even unhappy. Once you know what is wrong it is easy for you to handle the situation and to find solutions for the same.
Try to communicate with your child about his inappropriate behavior. Speak with your child about the way he behaves and how it hurts you. Let your child know that the way he behaves upset you and he should stop it right away.
Let your child realize that when you say “no” you actually mean it. And a child has to stop right there when you use that strict tone.
Learn ignoring your child’s behavior every now and then. A child may throw more tantrums once he knows that he is gaining attention. So parentsshould stop giving attention to a child by falling off to their child’s demands and giving away everything the child asks for.
Restrict your child’s freedom as a way of punishment. Instead of hitting your child or saying harsh words, try taking away their certain privileges away from them. For instance reduce their pocket money for a month or reduce or completely keep them away from TV watching, don’t allow them to get or visit friend’s house or so on. Let the children realize that their inappropriate behavior had come with a heavy price and may be this way they would stop behaving inappropriately.