Death Is Time Consuming
Everything Takes Time
When a loved one finally meets their end and after a brief mourning, the real work starts again. Life just keeps on going like a river current that forces you to act and deal with the remains left behind.
Depending on how successful or not they were during their life, the amount of work required varies but it is all time consuming. Time that you may not wish to devote to until the remains are gone. The whole issue is made more complicated if the loved one is living far away from you, if that is the case, now you have to travel etc. Despite the sadness of the moment, you don't have time to deal with all the minutia of getting rid of the physical remains. After all, you have your own job, career, and family to balance this unexpected death with.
Some things are made easier if there is a Will or Life Estate that helps divide up physical things. While that helps, if disputes among the siblings happen, it becomes frustrating. If the person who died had planned for their own death and burial or cremation, that is a huge issue of your list and cost. However, if not, it is an immediate issue to deal with and may be more problematic than you ever thought.
Then, there are the numerous physical things. Again, if the person had owned a big home with tons of the things and clothes, simply going through them is VERY overwhelming as you decide what you want to keep and what to donate. At some point, you might opt just to donate a slew of things to Goodwill etc., or hire a private auction outfit to sell them for you and what doesn't sell, donate. It could take you easily a week or more just to deal with these things. This could stretch the patience of your employer and yourself.
Handling real estate can also be time consuming depending on the complexity and number of heirs. Hiring an attorney to resolve them is costly and you become painfully aware how much the death of your loved one has cost you in unexpected expenses. It can easily become thousands of dollars. Besides RE, you may be liable for unpaid medical expenses being the next of kin.
As you deal with all these real life ongoing issues, you are mourning silently, trying to put on a "straight face". You might be thinking, "Why did you have to die now?", if your own life is in bad shape. Or, "I had no idea that dying would cause so many problems in my own life", "I knew this day would come but I am not ready", "I need to get back to my own life".
Of course, through all this turmoil that the death caused to those still living, you smile when you think of them and the many memories shared. In the end, it is just one end to one's life and you begin to think about your own death.
How can you make it easier on the ones left behind?
Comments
AUTHORIndeed, all under the burden of grief and loss. When my mother died, I clearing out what physical things she owned, what to keep, give away, etc., when the phone rang and her answering machine turned on with her greeting, I could not go on any further that day. I unplugged the machine when I arrived to continue the next day.
Sadly, many more people are coping with this situation at the moment. I was once working into the early hours sorting out the affairs of a deceased relative. It can be a complex and time-consuming business.
